Chris Morris

Newsfelch

Chris Morris was a British radio presenter and producer of such shows as Brass Eye, The Day Today and Blue Jam, establishing his credentials as an professional IRL troll whose character and sheer wit rivals that of Dr. House. WARNING: This guy is regarded as the British equivalent of Andy Kaufman in the minds of a few feeble minded "trolls" and comedy snobs, so expect much cock-sucking in the following article and a lack of acknowledgment for any of the real talent that helped him along the way.

Early Shenanigans

Example of Morris' radioworks

Early in his career, Morris worked for various local BBC radio stations, although he didn't keep any of the positions for long due to continually getting fired for reasons including, but not limited to filling a studio with Helium during a live news broadcast, (ORLY? Do you have any idea how much that much helium would cost? Not to mention the fact that if you made the atmosphere in a closed room 99 per cent helium [as would be needed to produce a 'mickey mouse' voice-change in someone] it would prove fatal in about 60 seconds? YHBT by Morris's own mythology) providing a running commentary and possibly eating during another news bulletin, doctoring the Queen's Christmas speech to include obscenities and introducing a newsflash about a train crash with "Tell me your favourite joke".

The Chris Morris Music Show on Radio 1 once caused a stir by informing listeners that "If we do hear anything about the death of Michael Heseltine (a member of the British cabinet at the time), we'll let you know" and playing sad music. While technically not a lie, many jumped to the implied conclusion hook, line and sinker. Morris' contract was allegedly not renewed due to a similar hoax report where he announced the death of beloved kiddie fiddler and corpse fucker, Sir Jimmy Savile.

In 1994, when he won the British Comedy award, he told everyone onstage: "I...uh...I hope this means I'll earn enough money next year to develop a coke habit as big as Meat Loaf's.", he then trolled his way onto UK day time talk show The Time The Place pretending to be relationship expert Thurston Love only to be discovered during the commercial break and outed as an imposter live on air. He handled the pwnage well, though.

Brass Eye

So you caught it from your boyfriend? You have BAD AIDS!

More fair and balanced than Fox News, more up to date than CNN, it's Channel 4's own lulz news network: Brass Eye. The show only ran for 6 episodes (and a "special" 4 years later), but produced more lulz in one episode than the total combined seasonal runs of most sitcoms. Also known for being a favorite among /b/tards.

Almost indistinguishable from any other news program, Brass Eye opens up like your typical evening news complete with overdone computer graphic logos, and a teaser of the latest happenings in the world. At first glance it seems like Brass Eye is just another satire show, but the main difference with Brass Eye is that they troll the shit out of various celebrities in each episode with made-up campaigns and speeches. The original 6 episodes covered Animals, Science, Drugs, Sex, Crime, and Moral Decline.

The clip below contains an apology from a Black Man, on behalf of all his fellow Blacks, for all the crime, EVER.

The show caused massive amounts of butthurt in Britain for spoofing said celebrities and making remarks about the difference between "Good Aids" (Got through blood transfusion) and "Bad Aids" (Got from buttsex and other faggotry). The "animals" episode had many cases of animal abuse, poking fun at tree-hugging hippies, and child abuse. The show received numerous complaints, and was also wrought with internal conflict with Michael Grade of Channel 4 trying to cut out bits that were deemed "too offensive". Morris responded kindly with the insertion of the subliminal message: GRADE IS A CUNT into a frame of one episode.

2001 PAEDOGEDDON Special

"Children are already obsessed with the American rap artist JLB-8. Self-styled king of 'Nu ASS' music, he has sold over 18 million records and dates girls as young as seven."

Feeling that he hadn't pissed off enough people with the original 6 episodes, Chris pulled out all the stops and created one of the most hilarious and offensive T.V programs ever made. The entire episode pokes fun at pedophiles and the then recent media and tabloid hysteria during Britain's "Name & Shame" Pedophilia witch-hunt. He even went as far as getting Phil Collins to promote the fake "Nonce-sence" campaign while wearing a shirt & hat with the logo (for you non-Britfags, nonce is a term for a child molester). He also made an Eminem likeness called JLB-8, with a full blown music video segment of him on stage singing about buggering kids, and being raped as a baby.

Epic juxtaposition fail.

This caused so much butthurt, that various British members of parliament condemned the show, calling Morris "Unspeakably Sick", even though a lot of them admitted they hadn't even watched it, and Chris became one of the most hated men in Britain. British tabloid The Daily Star did one better in the failstakes by reporting on the sick nature of the programme mere inches from an article reporting on some 15-year-old Welsh bint's heaving rack.

So why did he do it? Simple. He did it for the lulz. Chris Morris is also Re4natic's real name.

Queen Mother video

In order to gain yet more IRL lulz he remixed the Queen Mother's funeral video. This caused epic drama amongst the Brits, especially fag Brits, who love to spend their spare time imagining performing necrophilia on the Royal Family.

Nathan Barley

The Shoreditch Twat was personified when Morris teamed up with TVGoHome creator Charlie Brooker. This sitcom series examined a breed of hipster prevalent in London's Shoreditch area at the time, and is quite accurate in its depiction. The TV series was based on Brooker's spoof "CUNT" listing in online magazine TVgoHome, and the archived version can be found here.

Four Lions 2010

Last Thursday Morris released the film Four Lions, a tale of 4 Britfag Muslim terrorists looking for deserving targets during the London Marathon, needing guidance the leader of the cell and his dim brother embark on a disastrous visit to a Pakistani training camp, on their return the four reunite and manage to fuck their (cobbled together) jihad up spectacularly. Surprisingly it caused less of a stir in the hypocritical moral media than you'd have thought (because it was shit).

External Links

• 9/11 special (in the Guardian)
• Mass butthurt outbreak over the above
• Butthurt people spoofed on his show speak out
• Butthurt tabloids criticize Morris, but are exposed for their hypocrisy in the matching page: "She's a big girl now."
• Cook'd and Bomd'd A fansite.
• "Second class male"/"Time to go"; Morris trolls Observer readers as suicidal columnist
• Morris trolls a daytime TV show
• Jam lady pwned

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Chris Morris is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.