Steal This Wiki

Steal This Wiki is a knock off for psychos, potheads and lazy fucking hippies of the popular early 70's publication Steal This Book which was an instruction manual of sorts to living on the outskirts of society and how best to continue getting high while sticking it to The Man. Steal This Book was made largely obsolete by advances in technology and communication which is where STW comes in. It allows users to add updated information for all to use to gain freedom, independance and most importantly, stick it to The Man.

Steal This Wiki

This debacle of stupidity was initially started by the proclaimed pacifist Firsty, as it is certainly not a guide to violent upheaval or blowing shit up. The wiki is based on the idea that you can not rely on the government for anything and that the capitalist fat-cats wish to rule us all. Yet somehow, resistance to this takeover should amount to somehow be non-violent and we can all just smoke some pot and get along. Fucking hippies.

The Inspiration

Truly an heroic inspiration.

In 1971, one of the co-founders of the Youth International Party, wrote a book called Steal This Book. This annoying "yippy" as they came to be called, was one Abbie Hoffman. Abbie Hoffman was apparently butt-hurt over the oppression of his Jew and wanted to inform the masses how to live free and independent of the system. By stealing and borrowing from those that worked their asses off to attain what they had.

So rather than doing something useful like getting a job and buying his own shit, this Jew instead opted to do a bunch of drugs and protest. It is clear from looking back at history, just how much protests have managed to accomplish in the major scheme of things.

A quick list of things that hippy and yippy protests changed in the world.

• ...

This dirty hippy interrupted The Who's performance at Woodstock to whine about some activists that had been jailed while everyone else was busy getting stoned and fucking in pools of their own excrement and vomit. Peter Townshend of The Who responded by busting him in the back with a guitar and knocking him off the stage. Lulz dramatically increased when it was revealed later that Townshend actually agreed with the statement but was pissed that the Jew interrupted their shit.

Hoffman later was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and became a hero at the age of 52 by swallowing a fuckload of pills. Some crazy asses think that he was taken out by The Man. Which of course makes perfect sense. The idea that the FBI would keep a 13,262 page document on the guy and then make him swallow 150 pills to kill him is completely reasonable.

More lulz were served up at his funeral, attended by thousands. The yippies had grown up, and mostly showed up in business attire from their corporate jobs.

The Contributors

From reading the articles there appears to be only two types of contributors to the wiki. People that are in militias preparing for the collapse of America and people that don't realize the fucking 60's are long since dead and gone.

The articles do make for a lulzy read as it often times jump from the perspective of peace and love to pure paranoid propaganda. But of course, we'll all be the sorry ones once the country falls and only the noble militiamen and hippies are left.

WTF, Retards?

• Techniques (Steal Now Pay Later)

A handy resource that details many different ways to steal from stores for survival. It is noted that rent-a-cops and service clerks know a lot of tricks. But if the faggots ever got a job, even a shitty one working retail, they would know that everything on their Technique list is shit The Man looks specifically for.

• Liberate

This section has a clever double entendre of Free Name of City. It is supposed to be a user-contributed list of free services and where to find shit for survival in the cities listed. Interestingly enough they don't appear to have an entry on Free Internetz to be able to look at the fucking list when you need it. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. [1]

• Handguns

A fine section on choosing a handgun, makeshift arms, and how to reload your own bullets! Moderators must have missed the content while attempting to pursue their peaceful activities of being blazed and playing with firearms since this is supposed to be ran by a pacifist.

• Security Culture

A handy guide on avoiding getting busted by the man and not ratting out your accomplices. This reads more like a how-to guide by Al Qaeda than something for those peace-loving faggots. Where the fuck is the party van?

There is some disagreement.

	“	Also remember that the foam in ski masks and ski goggles will trap teargas and other gasses, after a while this will expose your face to more teargas than wearing nothing at all. Swimming goggles are therefore more advisable.	„
	—Security Culture on Teargas

Articles That Would Be Useful

• How To Fight an Addict
  • In the fun loving world of peace and love for all, the hippies seem to have overlooked a slight change in society since the 60's. That would be crack and methamphetamine. An article on how to drop someone that can't feel pain and who is tweaked out of their skull is useful information to have. Otherwise they'll just split your pacifistic head open with a brick and strip you to buy more crack.

• Identifying Our Reptilian Overlords
  • It would be an extremely good idea to facilitate the knowledge of the reptoids that currently pull the strings of the corporations enslaving us all. There is virtually no useful information on this fact! Since they are striving against the The Man it would make a little sense to be able to identify who is pulling their strings! But we do have the article on LSD, so that's a step in the right direction.

• Why We Suck Cocks
  • The failure to understand the need for defense of oneself is one common to the average hippy. The idea that all the world's problems can be solved with peace and love is entirely fucked beyond recognition so long as man is able to feel jealousy and greed. So unless the hippies are ready to assert control, form their own Reich while incarcerating all the war-mongering whores of the world and /b/ into concentration camps while ridding the world of hatred; they should probably shut up and do something useful.

External Links

• Steal This Wiki
• Reptoids Control the Fat-Cats!
• a hero is Hoffman

See Also

• Hippies
• Jew
• Retard
• The Man

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