- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Mister Metokur: Difference between revisions
imported>Cobaltcat lol manlet. |
imported>Cobaltcat No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{breakingnews|Jim has been suspended from Twitter for being a bad boy}} | |||
{{quote|I have gone completely autistic, I can't do this|Jim before every video}} | {{quote|I have gone completely autistic, I can't do this|Jim before every video}} | ||
[[File:MisterMetokurProfile.jpg|thumbnail|The Icon of the Internet's biggest shitlord]] | [[File:MisterMetokurProfile.jpg|thumbnail|The Icon of the Internet's biggest shitlord]] | ||
Revision as of 11:55, 17 March 2017
|
BREAKING NEWS!! Jim has been suspended from Twitter for being a bad boy |
—Jim before every video | ||
Autism. Autism never changes. The Internet brings out the gayest faggots within society under the guise of anonymity, allowing them to spread their legs and tout their retarded cocks. And yet every now and again, there's one faggot who comes out and highlights the autism of the internet, bringing lulz and drama wherever they breathe. Mister Metokur, is one such faggot.
Known online as Mister Metokur, Jim81Jim, the Internet Aristocrat, or just Jim, is a 
midget of many aliases who needs no introduction. For the few fags who don't know who he is he's basically an unfunny oldfag /pol/ack/METOKUR fanboy who has a fetish for Asian bimbos and making spergs shit themselves when he's not busy deleting drunk livestreams out of embarrassment.
Act I: Jim81Jim
In the beginning when Youtube was young and not a commercialized jewfest like it is now, Jim was just one of many commentators who would always get off at starting drama fights with other users. His favorite hobby was laughing at other autists as they make an ass out of themselves (which seeing as this was back in 2007 meant, pretty much everybody.)
During this time his most well known drama incidents was his slap fight against classic autist Spax3, and his personal war against the existence of Juggalos. In short, it was the beginning of a long and gayass legacy.
- Jim's professional critique on Spax3's personal website.
Previous Video | Next Video
Act II: Internet Aristocrat
Near the time for the end of the world, Jim shed off his old identity of Jim81Jim, and put on the metaphorical powdered wig of lulz as he created his new persona: The Internet Aristocrat. As Youtube started getting serious so did he, as Jim realized he needed to go bigger. Move away from trollbait retards and go for the grand prize: Social Justice Warriors. Searching high and low, he searched to find the hive of these dramamakers looking for the infinite source of lulz. And after years minutes of searching, he found the motherload of shit: Tumblr.
Shows
Tumblrisms
With the discovery of Tumblr, Jim had hit the jackpot. He could only contain his erection for chaos for so long that he needed to stroke it fast and violently, letting out that jizzstream of lulz. So he created two shows to highlight the faggotry of otherkins, feminists, and the likes. Tumblrisms came to be that jizz, highlighting the many buzzwords of Tumblr such as Headmates, Cis-scum, and more.
- Cis-Scum
Previous Video | Next Video
The Hugbox Chronicles
After the first few episodes of Tumblrisms, Jim started making a name for himself, causing outrage with many Tumblr users. So in order to keep the outrage going, he started cateloguing hissyfits in The Hugbox Chronicles.
- My Little Molestation
Previous Video | Next Video
Gamergate
As Jim continued with his hunt for lulz, he couldn't help but smell a yeasty vagina in the distance stemming from Kotaku. He started catching the whiff of the backstabbing whore Zoe Quinn as she begins to fuck with Jim's guilty pleasure, video games. Angry at the multicolored feminist bimbo queefing on his sweet sweet vidya, he demanded satisfaction and begun a series of videos he used to destroy the reputation of Quinn, and all the San Francisco fags that took a whiff of that queef.
What Jim failed to realize, is in his quest for revenge, he ended up creating a movement; a movement that would change autism forever. His inner /pol/ack made him feel heroic, that he was leading the charge against a corrupt society gone mad, and had to keep going with it.
Previous Video | Next Video
But eventually, his powertrip subsided, and he realized the consequences of his actions. In his powertrip for revenge he became the one thing he mocks the most: a faggot. In his shame, he burned his powdered wig, told everyone of his followers to do the right thing, and he disappeared forever...
Act III: Mister Metokur
Six months passed since Jim disavowed the movement he created, and while he was living the peaceful life, he started getting the itch again. His love for lulz was too great, and he began to go into withdrawal. He hungered for spergs, hungered for Tumblr dykes, and wanted that sweet sweet drama back. So, like Chris-Chan rising up after his sex change, Jim returned to the world as Mister Metokur.
Shows
Dead Series
Returning to Youtube Jim decided he was done with Tumblrisms and needed to expand, so he created three new shows in order to triple the amount of lulz. They were:
- Hollowed Halls: A series set in leftist colleges.
- Internet Insanity: A series where Jim just reads articles we write. (Thieving bastard)
- The /x/ Files: A series where Jim reads a horror story from /x/.
However because Jim's a faggot who has no sense of creativity or motivation, all three of his new series only had one episode.
- Hallowed Halls
Previous Video | Next Video
Deviant's
Since all three of his shows didn't kick off, Jim needed to find a new source of lulz to exploit. He couldn't go back to Tumblr, and he didn't have the motivation to do Reddit, so where does any massive failure go from here? Deviantart, of course. Just from the news that he was going to do a show on Deviantart fetishes every autist on the interwebs immediately shat their diapers (Figuratively and literally) and immediately went on Protocol Zero.
Previous Video | Next Video
The Pampers Pandemonium
Deviant's was a second coming for Jim. He was enjoying making the series and it brought with it an endless supply of asshurt and tears from sick fucks. However, the third episode on Furry diaper lovers (we're just gonna pause here so you have a minute to let that sink in. Furry diaper lovers; Yes, we have now hit rock bottom - ) several diaperfags immediately broke into a blood boiling rage that they were being exposed for the sick fucks they are. In retaliation, they immediately attacked Jim in a mass false flagging campaign, erasing his video from existence, (Until Youtube realized the reports were false and brought the video back the next day.) After his video was restored, the zombie husk of the Youtube Commentary community rose from the ground to have one last go on Jim, but Jim being the shitlord he is immediately kicked them back into the dirt where they belong. One of the autist commentators who tried to take Jim down in his weakened state was the brony cuck himself: ForNoGoodReason.
Brightsidebob
In this thankfully dead series, Jimbo, does his best to make fun of Darksydephil, by just commentating over Phil's extremely bad gameplay, with even worse commentary. You are not Retsupurae, Jim, and you never will be. The videos are all hourlong tribes of autism, making them even more unbearable than DSP's as at least he knows how to edit. The only thing funny about it is when you realize how alike Jim and Phil really are.
Both live in the Midlands. Both have Asian girlfriends, where Phil jerked off himself on stream, Jim jerked off his mongoloid sexbot Jay3dfox (Jem Mee Lee). They are both awful at videogames. Both have a rabid retarded fanbase. Both are overweight. Both have insanely many channels. And neither can produce anything of value.
Usernames
- SirJimbo
- MidLifeJim
- AlexAtAlexIsAlex
- AlexIsAlex
- KingAlexander69
- JimJimThe81st
- SteveJobsGhost
- GamingInMinnesota
- TheTerribleLPer
- SuzyScales
- RetardedCartoonHorse
- GamesGoodMeBad
- GhostingPuppets
- InternetAutistocrat
- Haberhass
- Double Decade Gamer
- TimeForSomeTism
- TheDinnerDates
- LizTaylorsGhost
- Ghost of Jim81Jim
- AIAlbert
- Mij18Mij
- 8844alexander
- JustJim
- MisterMetokur - His current channel
- XenoJim
- Jim81JimReturns
- Wawawhopsie
- TheInternetCriminal
- James Semaj
- h8g765ro0gjn8
- FurryPandaemonium
- NintendosAdvocate2
- BullshitForums
- BrightSideBob - His current secondary channel, for some reason
Still has a large amount of not-yet discovered accounts on Youtube and different websites. Mostly unknown because even he realizes how cringeworthy they are and will not mention them.
Gallery
-
Jim showing what happens to vore fetishists. -
In order to avoid Jim's sightline, many furfags offer tributes to the shitlord. -
-
-
Fanart Jim commissioned for Deviant's Episode 2. -
-
See Also
- BlackBusterCritic - The nigger version of Jim
- Shoe0nHead - Fangirls about Jim everyday, wishing that she had his flabby dick
External Links
- Jim's Youtube Channel
- An archive of all of Jim's videos
MisterMetokur
mistermetokur- Article written about how he's somehow the luckiest man alive for owning an air conditioner
|
Mister Metokur is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
 |
||
|
|
||
| Featured Article February 18 & 19, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Daniel Sieradski |
Mister Metokur | Succeeded by Trash Dove |