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Brianna Wu for Congress: Difference between revisions
imported>Sidecar this shit gets its own subpage |
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'''<center>[http://briannawu18.com/ Brianna Wu for Congress Website]</center>''' | '''<center>[http://briannawu18.com/ Brianna Wu for Congress Website]</center>''' | ||
Revision as of 15:22, 10 September 2018
Moar info: Brianna Wu.
Recently, the tranny has decided to run for Congress as a liberal against Stephen Lynch because he thinks GamerGate won the election and it's up to him to stop GamerGate. The sad part is that he will most likely win this election because Massachusetts is liberal heaven. Let's just hope he doesn't run for president, because if he wins we're all screwed everyone in this planet will be screwed. A cringeworthy Congress 2018 video of Brianna Wu was released on his Vimeo page.
2017: IT'S HAPPENING!
In March 9, 2017, Stephen Lynch was on the WBUR radio station to discuss unimportant shit including the Wikileaks. Finally they brought up Brianna Wu (at 14:40) for Stephen Lynch to question about. He finds this shit hilarious and stated he was re-elected 5 weeks ago and has more important work to do than tease the tranny ape with a stick.
—Stephen Lynch handling it like a true congressman. | ||
In April 15, 2017, Brianna Wu submitted his congress form in results of pulling in $21K and still doesn't have enough to hire staff. Not as much as conning $400K out of his husband Frank Wu for his failure SJW game Revolution 60. Basically it shows him and Frank using his campaign as a slush fund to scam people's money and spend it all on potbelly sandwiches and shitty toys anyway. Stephen Lynch already submit his congress form a few days ago before Brianna Wu submitted his. Notice Stephen Lynch's campaign committee has over a million bucks of cash on hand, shows Brianna Wu the disadvantages and butthurt.
Dropping Rocks Off The Moon
On February 27th, 2017, Wu began to tweet his thoughts about Space X's plans to send a privately crewed mission to the Moon. Wu thought this was a bad idea because people could "drop" rocks from the Moon and strike the planet with the force of "100s" of nuclear weapons. He also expressed fears that someone could "control" the Moon and fuck with satellites orbiting Earth. The tweet about dropping rocks was mocked across Twitter (with those that knew of his plans to run for Congress laughing even more so) and "Brianna Wu" appeared as a 
trending topic for some users. He tried to run damage control by saying he meant they could drop rocks into Earth's "giant planetary gravity well" and began doubling down as more and more Twitter users began pointing and laughing at him. Wu blamed the laughter due to him being a "woman on the internet" and doubled down once more and said that it was "absolutely true that a large rock fired into Earth from the moon using propellants would be more powerful than 100s of nuclear weapons. Like, you all can make fun of that statement, but it will still be true. This is why the militarization of space is so dangerous." Wu eventually deleted the tweet that everyone was laughing at, leaving a noticeable gap in the numbered tweets, but it was a feeble gesture as it had already been capped and archived after going viral.
You magnificent bastard I read your book
The Moon And Wu About missing Pics
[Expand Gallery]
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Campaign Logo
The secret message behind the logo
On April 12, 2017, Brianna Wu posted a tweet on Twitter to show his followers his very own campaign logo to force it with the other campaign logos. And it looks like a piece of crap. Few hours later, people are editing his campaign logo with lulz before Wu blames GamerGate as always. The Daily Dot submitted a article about his logo being roasted that isn't from the group of misogynistic gamers and 4chan denizens that is GamerGate after the logo edits are becoming more newsworthy.
Campaign Logo About missing Pics
[Expand Gallery]
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Official Campaign Ad
On October 5th, 2017, Brianna Wu release his first official campaign ad on YouTube that is so extremely cringey and anti-Trump it needs to be purged with fire. Wu already disable comments and votes to make sure them damn gamer gators won't dislike the video and leave lulzy comments.
Campaign Ad 2: Electric Boogaloo
Before Wu prepares for his congress defeat on September 4th, 2018, he made another cringeworthy congress video on August 27th, 2018, just to taunt Stephen Lynch.
Donation Scam
Another idea from the Wu-man himself is to scam a lot of stupid people to donate him money. Why donate money to Brianna Wu? To save up for his dream vehicle instead of something useful in congress. Luckily Anonymous went undercover on a unknown operation to expose another dox for the Brianna Wu for Congress mailing address. At least he won't end up hungry when Anonymous usually send the love of pizza deliveries.
2018: The Signature Death March
The year has come! The signatures are voted in the ballots to see who advances to run for congress! March is ending soon and the voting should all be done around the middle of April! Meanwhile, Brianna Wu's True and Honest Campaign wacky staffers Frank Wu and Warren Lynch has collected all of Wu's current signatures for March 2018. According to his signature chart.....
How did Brianna Wu end up with less than 500 signatures for him to run for congress?? How is it that he didn't do very well the signatures remain valid and needs no buffer of several hundred signatures to get them all validated? Oh I know why! It's called being a fucking lazy Twitterina!! Brianna Wu has been lazy on congress the whole time he's letting his bloated Barney cheerleading husband Frank Wu and the worshiping cucked fanboy Warren Lynch (who he claims to be Stephen Lynch's cousin) do all the work for him and waste so much money on toys and cars to pleasure Brianna Wu himself. And then his delusional dreams of gaining congress powers to stop the alt-right and GamerGate has come down to his living nightmares. Reality and math homework!
The reality is this. His scampaign has turned into a shampaign. It will be too hard for Brianna Wu to make it to congress since he's clearly lazy and doesn't know what do in congress running. Instead he lets Warren Lynch and Frank Wu do the speeches and embarrassing cheerleading for him while he goes out driving and cycling to avoid congress socializing he doesn't like. Not even the democrats of Massachusetts want someone this unstable, insane, unpredictable, delusional, offensive, and full of trigger warnings like Brianna Wu on the ballot. The rules of running for congress recommends at least 4000 signatures due to challenges, hard work, and caring for the people. Having Warren Lynch, Frank Wu, the fake media news, and Twitter followers do the work for him is not going to cut it. As long as Brianna remains stubborn by not understanding his defeat, he will cry on his Twitter 24/7, screaming misogyny and blaming GamerGate for God only knows how long.
Brianna Wu barely made it by collecting over 3000 signatures from not only sitting his ass down tweeting on Twitter 24/7 with help of SJWs like Wil Wheaton, but paid money to companies that legally help get signatures in advance. Gloating over a "achievement" on Twitter, Brianna along with Frank Wu and Warren Lynch are sperging out in joy and celebrating like their favorite sports team won a game. What Brianna doesn't know is that there's more hard work to do besides collecting signatures and being lazy. Meanwhile, Stephen Lynch who is not lazy and tweeting 24/7, has been busy with meetings and other important stuff Brianna doesn't do, like getting out of the house and work.
First Quarter Results
While Stephen Lynch is busy winning the race for congress, Brianna Wu, lazy as always, keeps posting delusional tweets about his election as a success and giving thank you ass-pats to anyone who supports his scam of a congress, including SJWs and Antifa members. Ethan Ralph made the latest Brianna Wu article about the first quarter results of his campaign failing including images of the first quarter FEC reports that shows Brianna Wu's current balance of $453 worth of campaign cash on hand at the start of 2018.
Comes to show that Brianna Wu doesn't know jack shit about congress when he should've stayed in college for education instead of dropping out to be a delusional tranny with a GamerGate victim card.
Former Campaign Employees Can't Stand Wu
Remember all those repeated tweets of Brianna Wu saying "my crew are hard at work" this and "my employees are working very hard" that to help Brianna Wu win congress against Stephen Lynch? Truth be told straight from a ex-employee of Wu's congress crew members in Kiwi Farms that almost everyone associated with his campaign got fed up with Brianna's laziness bullshit and quit for their own good. Some even got fired and taken all the credit. Warren Lynch, former assclown cheerleader of Brianna Wu, went to the farms at Kiwi Farms to grow a pair of manly balls and confirm the bullshit Wu's former employees had to put up with. Some of his friends even quit for the same reason. One of his hardworking friends, Kate Garvey, who had to build Brianna Wu's website, lasted until the end of July and quit for the tremendous amount of crap Wu has given her.
Here listing is those worked for Wu and quit/fired before/after one quarter as seen on the FEC document according to Warren Lynch:
- Mystery Person - Only heard in stories, was fired after 2 months.
- Frank - Not Frank Wu thankfully, but a different Frank. Did all the work of campaign manager but was not given that title. Fired after 11 months, replaced by Warren Lynch.
- Warren Lynch - Acted like Brianna's assclown cheerleader like Frank Wu, just to annoy people to vote for Brianna Wu. Fired between 5-6 months later, went to Kiwi Farms to explain everything behind the magic of Wu.
- Imran Cooper - The ponytail guy. Lasted 1 week and fired.
- Mystery Woman - A Latina woman. Quit after 1 month because Brianna Wu "cannot listen or do simple tasks.". Or in short, quit because Brianna Wu is lazy.
- Mystery Man - A Weymouth friend of Warren Lynch. Unpaid volunteer. Quit after 1 month, his good reason was "left for similar reasons that everyone else left.".
- Roberto Garcia - Unknown. Quitted.
- Chris Reardon - One of Wu's hard working employees. Quitted on the end of July 2018.
- M. Jones - One of Wu's hard working employees. Quitted on the end of July 2018.
- Sage Quiamno - Unknown. Quitted.
- Kate Garvey - Brianna Wu's favorite hard working woman employee until he gave Kate enough shit to make her quit at the end of July 2018.
Brianna and Frank are recently taken to blaming everyone for Brianna Wu's failed campaign on hiring people who are inexperienced. Brianna believes his campaign staff quit because they couldn't handle the work. It's more likely because he sat his lazy ghoulish ass down at home, playing video games and tweeting bullshit all day, every day.
The End: Massachusetts Primary Election Results
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Stephen Lynch just lynched the lolcow Brianna Wu! |
The lolcow Brianna Wu finally lost the game and had to be a sore loser on Twitter. As usual, he had to whine on interviews, making up sob stories about his defeat and a made up trans friend suicide and blah blah blah GamerGate and blah blah blah Trump and blah blah blah I'll get you next time Stephen Lynch. You get the picture.
—Brianna Wu being a sore loser. | ||
In all fairness, we at Encyclopedia Dramatica like to tribute this song to Brianna Wu, the first lolcow who tried his best to run for Massachusetts congress.
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Brianna Wu for Congress is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Brianna Wu for Congress is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
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Brianna Wu for Congress is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |