Erectile dysfunction

“Erectile Dysfunction? Hah! Erectile dysfunction this!”

Erectile dysfunction is when you can’t get it up even when there’s a hot chick with her legs spread wide open in front of you. In other words you are no longer a man. If you tell your friends you have it they will laugh and abandon you so it’s probably best you keep it to yourself. Also, you should get ready for living the rest of your life alone. Your only realistic alternatives are to get experimental, dangerous surgery, join a religious cult requiring you to take a vow of celibacy or start enjoying taking it in the ass.

Erectile dysfunction has been known to be abbreviated as ED. Despite possible lulzy interpretations, most people who use the acronym ED IRL are not referring to this site.

Erectile Dysfunction on the Intarwebs!

People with erectile dysfunction love to talk about their problems on the Internets and reach out for help. This is because everyone who uses the Internets is a more than qualified doctor ready to remedy your problem. The Internets is also filled with pop-ups and spam accusing you of having erectile dysfunction so they can sell you their voodoo medicine to make it all better though everyone knows voodoo gives you cancer.

Causes

• Masturbation.
• Lurking ED.
• Suffering a kick to the groin by a feminazi wearing steel-toed boots, either physically, mentally or emotionally
• Losing most of your genitals in World War Two.
• Diabeetus (seriously).
  • High blood pressure
  • Hell, anything to do with cardiovascular problems causes ED
• Smoking
• Being old and unable to afford Viagra
• Playing Nintendo.
• Having God hate you.
• Being fat (again, seriously)
• Being mutilated

Solutions

• End it all
• End it all in style
• Chop off your useless dick
• Surgery where they shove sticks up your dick (i.e., dick splint)

  

  This may result in perma half boner....

• Sticking needles into your dick full of voodoo medicine.
• Stop fucking crying, you pussy, and exercise.

External Links

• Bill Schmalfeldt
• It’s all about the erection problems.
• More erectile dysfunction lulz.

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Erectile dysfunction is part of a series on Body and Health

Erectile dysfunction is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.