All Gen Gamers

Four furries. One podcast. Zero lulz.

A collection of phony, smug, self-important, ass bandits, who review and speak about video games. After having their a-holes royally licked by hordes of YouTube fanboys, and deluded by feelings of self-importance, they decided to team up together - four douchebags for the price of one... great idea!

These guys represent the worst aspects of video game reviewers, but they each have thousands of fanboy dicks lining up to suck their cocks - "Please sir, would it be OK if I sent you some games? I hope I'm worthy..." "Maybe if I send you enough free shit you'll invite me onto your faggy podcast, and my shitty, no-mark YT channel will get more than four subs..."

Great guys!

Recurring "Jokes"

There are more than a few unfunny memes created by this podcast. Luckily none of them have spilled into the rest of the internet, because they're already more overused than over 9000, just from the podcast alone.

The Whale

OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

It's no secret that each member of the podcast as well as 80% of the listeners are furries (especially of the Sonic type). This fact can be confirmed through the overuse of a sound clip that consists of a whale call. The first time the hosts heard it, they broke down laughing. Fifty episodes later, they still act like toddlers when they hear it, giggling and clapping their hands while begging to hear it again.

Eventually the meme got out of hand and spiraled into some contrived sex scandal featuring each host. The whale was "spotted" in some BDSM outfit under Pete Dorr's bed, it "made a song" with Jason Heine (available for $0.99 at an online retailer near you!), and flat-out fucked Johnny Millennium. The whale has not yet "visited" Gamester81, for reasons unknown. Was there no room to fit amongst all the video game and Star Wars shit he's hoarding? Or maybe the hosts have simply forgotten about the whale.... Hopefully that's the case, because the tired joke (which was never funny to begin with) is about as welcome as a double nigger at a KKK rally.

They even gave this thing a Facebook page, with faggy status updates like "New AGG tomorrow, and I'll be listening to it with my boy Jason. MMMMAAAHHWWWW!!!!" and "I had a wonderful Christmas with Pete. Instead of turkey or ham, I ate fish which was delicious!"

• The All Gen Gamers Whale Facebook Page

The Goat

The hosts' cocks were hungry for more than one animal's asshole to plug, so they introduced the "All Gen Gamers Goat." The joke functions similarly to the whale: Jason plays a sound clip then giggling ensues. 80% of the listeners get a boner, and the other 20% continue to listen without a changed expression on their faces.

This thing got its own Facebook page too somehow. The status updates are even more retarded than the whale's: "nahahahahaha, look at my bunny friend!!!" and other times, simply "NAHGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH."

• The All Gen Gamers Goat Facebook Page

The Dog

If you still don't believe the All Gen Gamers audience is made up of a bunch of raging fanboys without a speck of realization that what they're listening to is completely idiotic, here's some more proof. It seems whenever Jason Heine plays a new sound clip on the podcast, some fanboy runs off to create a Facebook page out of it. "Hey guys, look what I did!" you can almost hear him say. "Haha, funny right? Right? You guys like me now, right? Please acknowledge my existence!!"

• The All Gen Gamers Dog Facebook Page

The Jason Heine Sheep

One day Pete was playing some shitty version of Harvest Moon when he decided to name a virtual sheep after the love of his life: "J to the A to the S to the O to the N to the H to the E to the I to the N to the E" (actual song lyrics to "J-Heine"). As a result, listeners have to deal with Jason Heine asking questions about his fluffy wool and and other suppressed sexual euphemisms.

Robo Cat

Poutine - not to be confused with wet, runny shit.

Dear God, another animal!? Yup. At least this one's half machine... or something. Who knows what the "meep" sound is really supposed to be, but in Pete Dorr's mind, it's a robotic cat that can probably be programmed into some bizarre sex toy.

Poutine

This Canadian dish looks like utter shit (seriously, just look at that thing!), but for some reason Jason Heine wants nothing more than to try a bite of it. From this, we can logically conclude that Jason is into shit.

"Bend You Over My Knee, Shee?"

Occasionally Jason's faggot meter goes off the charts and he begins to talk like he's some sort of old-time gangster. This is almost lulzy when you consider the irony (Jason is not a gangster thug, no matter what "J-Dawg" tells you in his rap songs), but the hilarity comes to a sudden end when you realize how epically unfunny this voice is. The other hosts force a polite laugh whenever they hear it, but inside they're sick of it too.

"I'm R-r-r-really Happy to Be Here"

Another recurring saying that is full of anti-lulz (created by none other than Jason of course) is when the hosts (or even sometimes the fanboy guests) pretend to stutter. Little do they realize that by pretending to act nervous before the Skype presence of their heroes they are essentially giving each one of them a virtual blowjob... and I'm pretty sure you don't want to suck a cock that's been in and out of a whale's blowhole.

External Links

• All Gen Gamers' YouTube Channel
• All Gen Gamers' Website

All Gen Gamers is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.