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Caffeine: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 09:26, 4 February 2013
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Add pixplzkthnx to Caffeine Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
Caffeine is a drug for the kids who can't get coke because they don't have any rich friends. Frequent users of caffeine include gamers who use it to stay up all night at LAN parties. There are also a number of middle school kids who think that they can get high by taking a large number of Caffeine pills; which you can, but not without dying a slow and hilarious death. All it takes is about the equivalent of 95 cups of coffee (or about 36 No-Doz or Vivarin pills)(or 256 cans of mountain dew in under 5 minutes) in four hours to hit that mark. Unfortunately, the hallucinogenic margin is very small, and even a tiny bit too much can result in coma and death (however, you CAN get hallucinations if you stay awake long enough. It's different for every person, but usually after three days you start to hear/see funny things.) Make sure to sell some to a group of kids at the park for lulz. Since it is also an ingredient in soda, coffee, tea and energy drinks, roughly half the world is addicted to it (the rest are religious fundamentalists or too poor to afford even bargain-basement coffee grounds). All caffeine-junkies are fairly annoying, shaky people who talk shit.
Energy Drinks
Energy drinks are beverages that you see being purchased in stores by fat people, scene fags, emo fags and Dragonforce fags, fag. Primarily designed by to be used as part of a ‘healthy diet’, people looking for a quick pick me up can be seen reading the back of the bottles and cans, seeing how much ‘hardcore’ caffeine, riboflavin, guarana and taurine is contained in them. Obviously the most they experience is no different then drinking a few cups of coffee. Fat people (100% of internet users) gain nothing but profuse sweating from drinking them because they already have too much energy to burn off anyway. Enjoy your diabeetus. Btw, they all taste like Red Bull.
Energy Shots
If drinking a can full of liquid shit isn’t quite up your street and are looking for something even moar hardcore, then look no further than energy shots. Often sold in 50ml bottles, they are supposedly meant to work better than energy drinks, except they taste like a mixture of mercury and piss. Anyone dumb enough to blow their money on them and expect anything more than just a few heart palpitations is retarded.
Addiction
Caffeine addiction is a serious ailment afflicting millions of users worldwide, resulting in a global economic loss of nearly 1 billion dollars. If you believe that you or someone you know has an addiction, please call an addiction hotline right away. Caffeine addiction is a serious disease, and users need your help. Some signs of serious addiction include:
Occasional Headaches
Mild Insomnia
Irritability
and Fatigue
Starbucks
douchebag singing about coffee
Gallery Of Coffee
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Caffeine is part of a series on Drugs [Expand Your Mind] |
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