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DrMusic2: Difference between revisions
imported>78magnumXE |
imported>78magnumXE Updates and add-ons |
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Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to [[flamewar|argue]] with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to [[rage]] about her ''"identity being stolen"''. As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to [[stfu|"silence her"]], and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Mariana will likely continue to [[troll bait|comment]]. | Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to [[flamewar|argue]] with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to [[rage]] about her ''"identity being stolen"''. As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to [[stfu|"silence her"]], and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Mariana will likely continue to [[troll bait|comment]]. | ||
In November 2010, Habermann [[banned]] Mariana from METOKUR after months of her disrupting the site's activity. She still stalks their [[deviantART]] page daily and almost certainly attempts to post daily in halfhearted attempt to get unbanned and "apologize". | |||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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'''UPDATE: New fursona!''' | '''UPDATE: New fursona!''' | ||
Elaborating on her [[inflation|fetish for transforming into overweight comedians]], | Elaborating on her [[inflation|fetish for transforming into overweight comedians]], Mariana has now professed to be a [[Shit no one cares about|Wereleno]] on her new dA account. That's right: part [[wolf]], part [[Fatass|Jay Leno]], and part sasquatch turd. And as of late 2011, Mariana created the Werestallone, a.k.a. [[Shit no one cares about|Stallonian]], only to abandon it when [[User: Endsenten]] created photomanips that were posted on dA, eliciting many lulz. She has returned to the [[Mary Sue|Wereleno]] fursona as of March 30, 2012. | ||
{{quote|I ALREADY [[Gay|COME OUT]] AGES AGO AND I'M SICK OF PEOPLE RAGGING ON MY [[Furfag|FURSONA CREATIONS AND MONSTER CHARACTERS]] AND CALLING THEM RETARDED AND I'M SICK OF THE GODAMN [[Chris-chan|CHRIS-CHAN]] COMPARISIONS. | |||
FUCK YOU, I WISH I WAS A REAL [[Shit no one cares about|WERESTALLONE]] THAT WAY I COULD POUND YOU AND YOUR ILK TO KINGDOM COME!}} | |||
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*Tell her she is violating copyright law. | *Tell her she is violating copyright law. | ||
*Tell her that her "friend" Andria Kilgore is a sockpuppet | *Tell her that her "friend" Andria Kilgore is a sockpuppet | ||
*Tell her that she will go to a group home or a mental hospital when her [[parents]] die | |||
*Call her a "budos olah" (Hungarian gypsy term for "Stinky Romanian") | |||
*Make fun of New Zealand or Romania maliciously | |||
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According to eyewitness reports, the werejohncandy/werejayleno can still be seen roaming the [[Failbook|internet wilderness]], where she [[butthurt|continues to post complaints]] on ED's page (which she then deletes an hour later). | According to eyewitness reports, the werejohncandy/werejayleno can still be seen roaming the [[Failbook|internet wilderness]], where she [[butthurt|continues to post complaints]] on ED's page (which she then deletes an hour later). | ||
===Nico's death=== | |||
Mariana's long-suffering 13-year-old cat [[Fag|Nico]] died just before Christmas 2011, supposedly of kidney failure, but ediots in [[EDF2: Electric Boogaloo|the forums]] came up with a more likely and more lulzy explanation of the cat's demise and compared its death to that of [[Chris-chan]]'s dog Patti dying. | |||
{{quote|My cat's death is not something for you to ridicule on this forum, death by kidney failure is not a laughing matter. I mean, [[User: 78magnumXE]] should know - he's had heart problems so he knows how it feels.}} | |||
{{quote|You do know that it scientifically for a person or animal to die from being 'sat on', right? That only applies in cartoons, this was a real life event. And most things done in cartoons would impossible to pull off in real life. | |||
I mean why do you think that most of the furry and inflation art is made to look as terrible as people on here say it is? Because it's made to be cartoony - it's fantasy. Fantasy NOT reality. | |||
And besides my cat died of kidney failure, something which is a lot more serious than being squished (you don't see people getting sat on or squished in real life, except by boulders or a few other things) and need I remind you...it's REAL LIFE NOT A FUCKING CARTOON SHOW?}} | |||
In early 2012, Mariana's [[parents]] gave into her begging for another cat, and purchased two kittens, named Casper and Billy. Mariana claimed that [[White trash|Casper]] was returned to the pound, but for all we know, Mariana could have [[Luka Rocco Magnotta|tortured it to death]] | |||
===Quotes=== | |||
{{quote|Yeah I know i'm retarded in your eyes. It's just you know, I still don't think it is entirely possible for someone to die from being sat on, for one thing - to crush an adult it would have to be 900lbs of force or weight, and furthermore if that happens it would crush the ribs and causes internal bleeding beforehand. | |||
For [[User: Endsenten:|a guy who uses a scientist as an avatar]], you should have at least known about something like that. | |||
Also.....you should have at least credit me for the WereStallone concept, it's neat seeing my vision come to life but did you HAVE to use a overweight female model? I mean really...you couldn't find anything better?}} | |||
{{quote|Okay I had a crush on Beckham back when I was a little girl about 7 or 8 but I didn't really fantasize about him all that much, he was rarely in any of them. I would hardly call them 'sexual fantasies' if the object of your desires isn't in them. | |||
And besides I grew out of it, it was a phase. Everyone has a phase they grow out of eventually.}} | |||
{{quote|Technically it's not lies. It's true. And comfority is not a good thing, dude. And I already AM more social outside of the internet. So there's no need for that. | |||
After all Reality is twice as harsh as the internet, so why bother accepting it? I've already been treated like shit and left for dead in real life way before this whole ED thing. You don't think I know that? Let me tell ya something.... | |||
I HAVE BEEN REPEATEDLY BULLIED IN REAL LIFE, BEATEN UP, INSULTED, PICKED ON, EXCLUDED FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S FUN AND VERBALLY ASSAULTED BY TEACHERS AND OTHER AUTHORITY FIGURES. | |||
You think it's lies? WELL THINK AGAIN. I'VE HAD A HARD TIME BOTH ONLINE AND IN REAL LIFE. IT AIN'T EASY BEING ME YOU KNOW. | |||
And without a single of a doubt I have been put down more times than YOU or anyone else in this website, you have no ideas how much trouble i've been put through. | |||
You know nothing about me. And you never will. And yes I'm butthurt and I KNOW i'll only be adding to the article, but you have NO idea how horrible it is not being able to live such an insulting piece of garbage down.... | |||
It's like on every other website apart from this it's like..."Hey! Aren't you that werejohncandy guy?" "It's the werejohncandy!", etc. | |||
The werejohncandy is a Role i'll never live down thanks to that stupid article, and no matter how many times I try to convince them they still only think of me as the werejohncandy, my stupid retarded fursona which I used for a while. | |||
And for the record, I HAD to switch it to weregrinch because welll.....after Rents of Slapstick Anarchy caught wind of the whole werejohncandy thing along with the ED article.......I wasn't able to live it down. | |||
If there's one thing I HATE it's when people keep mentioning me because of that stupid article or referring to me as the 'Werejohncandy', you have no idea how horrible it is. }} | |||
==The werejohncandy speaks== | ==The werejohncandy speaks== | ||
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{{frame|{{fv|BOTDFvids|background-color: #3ed600;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>5l1r-DGNl3o</youtube><center>'''[[Umad|U MAD?]]'''</center>|<youtube>-g4UlYWd610</youtube><center>'''[[Nope.avi|It's da truth guise]]'''</center>}}|border=#000000|background=#3ed600}} | {{frame|{{fv|BOTDFvids|background-color: #3ed600;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>5l1r-DGNl3o</youtube><center>'''[[Umad|U MAD?]]'''</center>|<youtube>-g4UlYWd610</youtube><center>'''[[Nope.avi|It's da truth guise]]'''</center>}}|border=#000000|background=#3ed600}} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
===[[Email]] correspondence with [[User:78magnumXE|78magnumXE]]=== | |||
{{quote|> Date: Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:13:51 -0800 We need to talk. Now. I've just about had it with you and your anti-me propaganda, I know you're still talking about the forums and all but this obsession with wanting to get rid of me has gone too far, for god's sake you even put a werejc wiki page. I admit to doing a bit of trolling and stalking in the past but at least I wasn't as bad as you, I mean you are an absolute dick-head, I hate your guts and I hope that you'll get eventually banned from the internet. | |||
> | |||
> Face it - YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SUCEED IN TRYING TO GET RID OF ME, YOU NEVER WILL. I'll still be here, and i'll still be around, you'll never get what you want. Admit it, what you are doing is pretty much pointless.}} | |||
{{quote|First of all, Chris-Chan comparisons? Really? You've had all this experience in trying to troll and stalk me and the best you can think of is Chris Chan comparisons and worthless crap about how much you hate me? What? Didn't you learn anything from the time you were EGY's friend? Damn it, you're even worse of a failtroll wannabe than I used to be. | |||
And also Metokur references are not cool. Metokur is ED's retarded little brother and is just as bad. Also for a site that ridiculous and hates on practically every living thing i'm surprised the ED Wiki hasn't even taken into consideration to ridicule itself, I mean ED itself is mentioned on the 'Unfunny' article entry on the wiki, I mean I know it's satire, but it's not very good satire if it is self-aware of how dumb it is. | |||
At least i'm self-aware of how dumb my own work tends to be, and that's exactly the point. It's supposed to be dumb. Heck, during the time EGY was trolling me, I wrote a story ridiculing myself and my own works, I also make fun of my own work on numerous occasions. I'm yet to see anyone on ED do the same.}} | |||
[[quote|Hello [[User:78magnumXE|Chris]]. Do you know what prost magar means in Romanian? It means stupid asshole, since you used a racial slurr to call me a stinky romanian. I think it's about time that I fought back, you are a prost magar - a stupid asshole. | |||
Scratch that, you're not just the asshole - you're the whole damn donkey. Hee haw! Not only are you an asshole but you've got to be the most evil of the trolls i've dealt with, from your sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me, from you making me lie to you about Andria just to satisfy your hunger, from your downright questionable trolling methods in general - damn, you are one eeeeevil dude. Even Hitler would faint at the sight of you, you're just THAT scary. | |||
I mean how can anyone stand to be around a guy like you? I mean how can they can not be creeped out by your beaviour? Does anyone else know that you have a sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me besides your EDiot friends on the forums? I sure as hell hope so....because then they can see what a creep you truly are. | |||
You're not only a troll , but you're a douchebag, a pain in the ass, a stalker, and just generally just plain creepy and pure evil. I mean damn, you're almost like a serial killer. I wouldn't be surprised if this sick obsession with me would cause you to be sent to a mental asylum, because quite frankly that's where a person like you belongs. | |||
I mean not even Heath Ledger's Joker was that terrifying compared to you.}} | |||
{{quote|I lied about Andria not being real to satisfy you, you made me do it. You manipulated me and pressured me into it, you used me. And as for your claim of not being 'mentally ill', I think the constant posts you make me about me and your sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me prove otherwise, you're more than just a troll you are a fucking stalker, you're even worse than I used to be back in the day. | |||
I mean damn, you'd even make someone like Hitler wet himself, because you're like a bastard combination of an online troll and a serial killer, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually did keep a list of the people you secretly wished to kill and I wouldn't be surprised if I was on that list, I bet you would even go to such extreme lengths as making a deal with the devil in order to try and get rid of me, heck...you probably even have a vodoo doll of me with you and that you're probably poking it. | |||
Well it's working, you're causing me so much pain and you've already made me BAAAAAAW my eyes out, so mission accomplished.}} | |||
{{quote|You know there's one thing you haven't tried yet.....that's IGNORING ME! If you hate me that much, then you should just either keep it to yourself or just plain ignore me - that's what most normal people would do if they were in your shoes. Revenge is not the best way to solve anything, this isn't Desperado or one of those big budget action movies, this is real life and you need to realize that in life - you can't win. | |||
You're never going to be sucessful in your attempts to get rid of me, because no matter how hard you try - you'll never win. I've been using the internet since I was 10 or maybe 12 years old and i've been using computers longer than you have, and I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing and you're not gonna stop me. | |||
You need to get over this sick obsession with me, turn off your computer, go outside, maybe go back to doing your real job, and do something more productive than trying to troll me all the time, and i'm saying this for your own good. You're one of the most messed up trolls i've ever had the misfortune of dealing with, and i've dealt with a lot. | |||
At least EGY got a change of heart after she got banned from DA as did Midnight-Oyl, you on other hand should have just stopped after that - revenge is not the best way to go at it, and you should know that. | |||
Sure I hate you in return but I haven't even done anything to you physically. And where did you get that idea that you think i'm a pedo from? I bet it's from that little bitch Shamoosh, who you used to hang around with when you were Cyan-King. Look, I only wrote that story about her because I was pissed off at her for actually believing EGY's troll act and for generally insulting my interests and as for the 'pedo' thing, I may have called her 'sexy' in the story but I never did call her that in any of the posts, and I deleted that story remember, and another thing I cannot believe you were stupid enough to actually like her. At least I was smart enough to know that she was a troll, do you know how fucking long it took for me to finally get banned from the site? And she wasn't even after me to begin with, she wanted Rebecca. | |||
Come to think of it, you're making me wanna miss EGY. Sure she was a poor troll and Metokur member, but damn she was actually pretty good. You on the other hand are just pathetic, i'm sayi ng this for your good - you need to get help or do something besides hang out on Encyclopedia Dramatica's forums. I mean there are lots of other much better sites to go to, and personally I never liked ED anyway. And it's not just because of me getting any article either, it's also because I don't find that site funny in anyway. I mean it's just a bunch of bad meme references that no one finds funny and false information that they made up just because they felt like it, I know what satire is - but ED is not good satire. | |||
ED is more along the lines of Seltzer and Friedberg, it's immature and not to mention overuses old memes that no one finds funny anymore, not to mention it's sick use of grossout humour (i.e the kittens page) and the fact they hate on pretty much everything. | |||
Or if this is too much "tld:r" for your brain to handle, how about this? JUST IGNORE ME FOR FUCK'S SAKE. THAT WAY IT WILL GO AWAY AND GET BETTER!}} | |||
{{quote|Look. I only set up that other email account because [[User:Beefrave|Beefrave]] said that I was the only way to deal with this problem I have with you, and you really do need to get over this sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me - because you know what, you'll never win - this isn't a movie, this is real life. And while you and your EDiot buddies think of me as nothing but a lolcow, no one else on earth thinks that way about me - okay I get it, you hate me. BUT JUST KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! THE WHOLE WORLD DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE ME.... AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE! | |||
Just keep it to yourself or just ignore me, sending me all those insulting and threatening emails isn't going to get you anywhere and neither is complaining about me to your EDiot buddies, if you hate me that much just fucking ignore me - that's what most normal people would do. | |||
You need to just turn your computer off, get a life, go outside, and find something more productive than just sitting in your loathing and hatred. I don't care what the hell you say about me, Andria or anyone else who happens to be a friend of mine. You say Andria's not real? Fine. You're more than welcome to have your own opinion on that, but to me she is very real. I respect the opinions of others but you just go way too far damn far. I mean really....I haven't said anything about you or done anything to you in week. | |||
I only wanted to straighten things out between us but your behaviour towards me is making it difficult to do so, so why can't you just drop the troll/stalker act and come on here so we can settle things in a polite, non-flaming way? I mean EGY got a change of heart after she got banned from DA - why haven't you? I mean honestly, you sicken me, creep me out, and make me wanna lose my mind at the same time. In all my life, I have never met since an annoying, persistant, twisted, insane, revenge-obsessed troll OL. You are pathetic. | |||
Honestly you make me miss EGY, at least EGY had style and was a lot more fun than you were. I mean what would she think if she found out what you were doing to me now? Given the way she is now - she would probably be shocked and disapointed at how much you didn't learn from the whole troll war between me and her. | |||
You know what, I don't even have to respond to your stupid ass messages, I can just block your address and report them as spam or better yet - trash them, because that's what they are to me, nothing but trash, they are putrid, hatred filled trash that needs to be put out. | |||
You should either ignore me or leave me the fuck alone. Please leave me alone for the rest of your life, don't talk about me ever again, don't even think about talking about me, don't send me any more emails. Go, and never come back online ever again. | |||
You say i'm the one who should be removed off the internet, when in fact it is people like you and the rest of Encyclopedia Dramatica that should be removed and not me - I didn't want to start another troll war after recovering from the whole EGY thing but you just had to come along and sniff around like the sick little vermin you are and start infecting the place with your evil. | |||
I for one hope that the admins on the ED forums will actually catch wind of your behaviour and will ban you and all your IP Address. And may your honour be stricken forever, may all that you've done be removed from the site and their memories, may your name forever be associated with douchebaggery and may you leave the internet and never ever return. Now go.}} | |||
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*[[Aspie]] | *[[Aspie]] | ||
*[[Furry]] | *[[Furry]] | ||
*[[Chris-chan]] | |||
*[[Triciakitty]] | *[[Triciakitty]] | ||
*[[White Knight]] | *[[White Knight]] | ||
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==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*[http://monstermaster13.deviantart.com/ New deviantART Profile] | :*[http://therealmonstermaster.deviantart.com/]Latest deviantART profile | ||
*[http://www.facebook.com/nathan.forester2 Her Facebook profile] | :*<s>[http://monstermaster13.deviantart.com/ New deviantART Profile]</s>[[Hacked]] and has a questionable future | ||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/NathanF76/ Her JewToob account] | :*<s>[http://www.facebook.com/nathan.forester2 Her Facebook profile]</s> Deleted | ||
*[http://www.myspace.com/446165848 Myspace Profile] ''(Idle since January of 2009)'' | :*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/NathanF76/ Her JewToob account]</s> Deleted | ||
*<s>[http://drmusic2-1.deviantart.com/ deviantART Profile]</s> | :*[http://www.myspace.com/446165848 Myspace Profile] ''(Idle since January of 2009)'' | ||
:*<s>[http://drmusic2-1.deviantart.com/ deviantART Profile]</s> Deleted in 2010 | |||
:*[http://forum.deviantart.com/community/rips/1443279/ "Metokur" Complaint Thread] | :*[http://forum.deviantart.com/community/rips/1443279/ "Metokur" Complaint Thread] | ||
:*[http://forum.deviantart.com/community/rips/1439813/ "Someone ignored my copyright notice and stole my art and put it on a website called "metokur.or""] | :*[http://forum.deviantart.com/community/rips/1439813/ "Someone ignored my copyright notice and stole my art and put it on a website called "metokur.or""] | ||
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:*[http://s281.photobucket.com/home/ChinstartheWereLeno "Secret" Photobucket] | :*[http://s281.photobucket.com/home/ChinstartheWereLeno "Secret" Photobucket] | ||
*<s>[http://madworldofdocm.blogspot.com/ ''"Inside the Lab With Doc M"'' on Blogspot] ''(Consists mostly of reposts from her deviantART journal)''</s> | *<s>[http://madworldofdocm.blogspot.com/ ''"Inside the Lab With Doc M"'' on Blogspot] ''(Consists mostly of reposts from her deviantART journal)''</s> | ||
** | ** Deleted | ||
:*[http://docmusicstalesfromthedesktop.blogspot.com/ ''"Doc Music's Tales From The Desktop"''] | :*[http://docmusicstalesfromthedesktop.blogspot.com/ ''"Doc Music's Tales From The Desktop"''] | ||
:*[http://thedirtytruthwithdocm.blogspot.com/ ''"The Dirty Truth with Doc M"''] | :*[http://thedirtytruthwithdocm.blogspot.com/ ''"The Dirty Truth with Doc M"''] | ||
===Contact Information=== | ===Contact Information=== | ||
*'''E-mail:''' | *'''Full name:''' Mariana Nelia Hanks | ||
*'''Birthplace:''' Brazov, Romania | |||
*'''E-mail:''' [email protected] | |||
*'''AIM:''' DocM | *'''AIM:''' DocM | ||
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*'''Skype:''' Monstermaster1392 | *'''Skype:''' Monstermaster1392 | ||
*'''Home Address:''' 28 Rosemary | *'''Home Address:''' 28 Rosemary Ave, Forrest Hill, Auckland 0620, New Zealand | ||
Revision as of 04:36, 31 March 2012
Fursonas come in all shapes, sizes, and species. You have obese raccoons whose only goal it is is to become fatter by eating trash disguised as food, foxes who want nothing more out of life than to get fucked up the ass by every species on the planet, and otters who aspire to be great authors of our era. Sadly, these constitute as little more than "run-of-the-mill" for the furry community, as the extremes that exist within their vile ranks make the standard furry seem almost acceptable by comparison.
She lurks in the darkness of the dA forums, seeking out her prey. With a taste for trolls, she leaps from the shadows and into the spotlight, becoming the center of attention wherever her hunt may take her. Her fursona is so oddly specific, there could not possibly be a pack or tribe of her kind: She is a werewolf version of Canadian actor John Candy, trapped inside the body of a supposedly 40 year old aspie.
Welcome to the world of DrMusic2; a self-declared "natural born werejohncandy".
Artistic Endeavors
Like most tartlets with plenty of time to spare, Mariana has a substantial body of work behind her. She has posted a minimum of three "stories" per day - as well as a varying number of "photomanips" sporadically over the course of a week - since she first registered her deviantART account in July of 2009. Yet, despite this body of work and the time she has spent on deviantART, she has only managed to amass 119 followers as of February 2012. Of course, this fact hasn't slowed Mariana down at all, as she has multiple submissions filed under literally every submission category deviantART has to offer. Now THAT'S dedication.
Written Works
—Excerpt from "Monster world me" |
—One of her more recent journal entries |
A large bulk of her writing deals with her imaginary army of imaginary monsters, whom she sends after her real e-enemies to exact her "revenge" upon them. In their off-time, they'll fight imaginary crimes offline, hang out in an imaginary bar which caters exclusively to imaginary monsters, or hide in their imaginary closets (Mariana apparently does not understand the connotations that come with doing so).
Outside of her "Monster" series, she also pens a series by the title of "Tales From the Web" (Which serves more direct call-outs of her online enemies) and a number of one-off stories. They are childish at best, and unsettling at worst. To think that any one person could devote so much time to producing stories and still be such a poor writer is a baffling prospect, especially when it is taken into account that her choice of subject matter is more becoming to the works of a 4th grader than a supposedly 40-year-old. (she was actually born in 1990, and claimed to be older as asspies always do)
To read through the entirety of her written works would take more time to spare than anyone should care to calculate, let alone spend. To legitimately enjoy her writing would take the mental state of a thoroughly tasteless toddler.
Selected Works:
- "The weregrinch in your closet" (In which Mariana alludes nearly a dozen times to "coming out of the closet")
- "Fright Force" (Roll call for Mariana's personal army of monsters)
- "Grinchin Out" (A story in which she murders a troll who made fun of one of her friends)
- "The Truth Behind ED" (Mariana reveals ED to be a front for "aliens from another universe" using tartlets "as test subjects for their bizzare experiments")
- "Monster factfile: EDiots" (Mariana continues to blow the lid off of the ED conspiracy!)
- "Night Of The EDiots" (Mariana finally solves deviantART's ED problem by pretending to slay our userbase in an unfunny Evil Dead parody! Notice her fixation with the handsome strong jawed shop assistant.)
- "School rant" (In which Mariana confirms she is a 10-year old girl trapped inside a 21-year old woman's body)
- " (Mariana describes how she could best her idol in a fight)
Illustrations
Her art, however, is far more convenient to flip through, and elicits far more lulz from the viewer. The majority of her artistic submissions are simply MSPainted pictures of her werejohncandy fursona, touching upon every variety of suggestive pose. Never mind the fact that John Candy was never much of "a looker" in real life: Slap a heap of fur onto his face and make him strut his stuff, and it's nearly enough to make you vomit in your mouth. Remember folks: This is how Mariana imagines herself as what she "really looks like", trapped inside her shell of a human body.
Her visual deviations will occasionally deviate from her so-called "norm". She hosts rather large photograph galleries, of her "friend" made up in various face-paints and her collection of children's plushies. She has drawn a number of celebrities in their animal forms, and concept art for her upcoming video game: Military Koalas: Marsupial Squadron. She has even paid tribute to the late "King of Pop" herself, as a redshirt from Star Trek.
Putting aside her repetition of themes and characters in her works, there are plenty of lulz within her gallery. From the utterly ironic to the hilariously inept, nearly every picture in her gallery is amusing in its own right. All that's left for her to do is post some proper Rule 34 of herself, and she will have officially dabbled in every genre of art officially recognized by the internet. However, until that day, there are still enough lulz to last a lifetime on her page right now.
For selected illustrations, see her gallery section here.
The White Knight
DevART Coalition for Quality Control
—Mariana, on the comments of "Month in Review: March 2010" |
A project run by a group better known for their YouTube commentaries, DCQC is designed to troll tartlets with terminal cases of USI. The concept of fair use eludes their targets, and they cannot grasp the concept that someone has the legal right to review and mock their "art" under the fair use exception to copyright laws. After commenting on a laughable photomanip of a girl as a raccoon as part of a larger article about raccoon art in general, Mariana discovered the page and left a series of disapproving comments. It turned out that the picture was the work of a friend of hers, and that she was committed to having the article taken down. After a failed attempt at convincing the dA staff to get involved, and having temporarily hijacked another tartlet's complaint thread in order to rally users against DCQC (as well as further promote her friend's artwork), Mariana began to comment on other articles on the page, and to fight other tartlet's battles for them.
Mariana's comments teach a valuable lesson in irony, as well as the inability of aspies to realize when they're being trolled. When called out on being a shameless promoter for her friend and a creepy furry, Mariana responded by announcing that she was "actually a pretty nice guy". She would later "prove" this point by boasting that "a lot of [her] friends, and [her] family think [she is] a nice person", and that she has "donated to numerous charities". When it was later pointed out that she could not go a single comment without shoe-horning in an obnoxious number of irrelevant pop culture references, she stated that she is "quite an avid reader – [she has] not only all of Roger [Ebert]’s film books but [she] also [has] read Bruce Campbell’s autobiography If Chins Could Kill as well as Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way, [she] also thoroughly enjoyed Jay Leno’s book Leading With My Chin."
Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to argue with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to rage about her "identity being stolen". As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to "silence her", and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Mariana will likely continue to comment.
In November 2010, Habermann banned Mariana from METOKUR after months of her disrupting the site's activity. She still stalks their deviantART page daily and almost certainly attempts to post daily in halfhearted attempt to get unbanned and "apologize".
Posts Mariana has commented on:
Slapstick Anarchy
A decidedly obscure blog by the name of Slapstick Anarchy reviewed a piece written by Mariana entitled "I love Werejohncandyism", under the assumption it was an elaborate joke. When Mariana came to defend her honor, however, the author soon found that she was indeed legitimate. Overnight, rents' blog which had previously had no more than a comment on any of it's previous articles found itself knee-deep in walls of text, posted by none other than the werejohncandy herself.
Noting the success of her first entry, rents would later write two companion pieces, including an in-depth explanation of the anatomy of a werejohncandy, and a public service announcement detailing how to slay a werejohncandy. Mariana, in all her childish stupidity, mistook these joke articles for legitimate guides, and argued that rents had "got it all wrong", completely oblivious to the fact that nobody in the world takes the concept of her fursona seriously besides herself. She would enter pages-long back-and-forth debates with the webmaster, whom apparently had nothing better to do than to argue with an autistic 40-year-old men who believe they are werewolf actors trapped inside human bodies.
Posts regarding Mariana:
- This Week in Illiterature: The Life of a Werejohncandy
- Special Feature: Anatomy of a Werejohncandy
- PSA: Top Five Ways to Kill a Werejohncandy
Fursona Swapping
—Excerpt from "Monster Form Switch" |
— DrMusic2, on the origins of her disease. |
Overnight, following this article going live and DCQC announcing it on their page, Mariana decided to swap out her fursona in a desperate attempt to avoid being trolled. Whole-heartedly believing that by announcing she was one species of imaginary monster instead of some other form of imaginary monster, that the Internet might leave her alone, completely oblivious to the fact that her claiming to be ANY BREED of imaginary monster is warranting of continued trolling.
Never mind the absolutely retarded idea that Mariana srsly believes - now that she is a "weregrinch" - that she is beyond mockery: The fact that she is now feverishly denying ever having been a werejohncandy is perhaps candidate for the single most absurd "turn on a dime" ever performed by a victim in the history of documented trolling. Since the day she joined dA, she had been claiming to be a "natural born werejohncandy". One sleepless night later, and her page now boldly claims that she is and has always been a "natural born weregrinch". How you can be "naturally born" as one species, and then claim the next minute you were "born" some other species is beyond me. Not even trannies deny that they were born as either a male or female before deciding to make the change.
Evidence confirming Mariana's past as a werejohncandy:
- "The benefits of being a werejc"
- "Werejohncandy tf guide"
- "Werejc facts"
- "History of the werejohncandy"
- "Brotherhood of the werejc"
- "Werejohncandyism For Nitwits"
- "Chronicles Of A Werejohncandy"
- "How to care for a werejc"
- "Werejcs and MJ"
- "Infamous werejc"
- "John Candy For A Week"
- "A Werejohncandy tale"
- "10 drawbacks to being a werejc"
- "About the werejohncandy"
- "Werejohncandyism For Nitwits"
- "The life of a werejohncandy"
It can be concluded from these so-called "stories" that Mariana did, at point in time, believe she was "born a werejohncandy." The reason for her deciding she no longer wishes to affiliate with her made-up species of make-believe monster is that she legitimately believes in her made-up monsters, and legitimately believes that her made-up weregrinches are beyond real mockery. Unfortunately for her, her monsters aren't real, and the Internet doesn't take kindly to sick fucks who have given up on humanity and wish instead that they were born as animals. As such, even as she pretends to be her new weregrinch fursona, she will still be subject to mockery, as she rightfully should be.
UPDATE: New fursona!
Elaborating on her fetish for transforming into overweight comedians, Mariana has now professed to be a Wereleno on her new dA account. That's right: part wolf, part Jay Leno, and part sasquatch turd. And as of late 2011, Mariana created the Werestallone, a.k.a. Stallonian, only to abandon it when User: Endsenten created photomanips that were posted on dA, eliciting many lulz. She has returned to the Wereleno fursona as of March 30, 2012.
—- CHIN POWERS. You can't make this shit up. |
Continued Trolling
Trolling Mariana is just about as easy as can be, and keeping her continued attention is as simple as not giving into her demands: If she wants you to take down a copy of one of her pictures, rehost it on as many image-hosting services as you can and send the URLs to her. If she wants you to leave her friends alone, harass them until they leave deviantART. Whatever you do, don't believe her lies, and don't let her convince you that she's a "nice guy" (aspies are subhuman, and are incapable of emotion).
If you're too stupid to figure out on your own how to piss off a furry, here are some helpful tips you can use to pretend you're a troll:
- Suggest that a werewolf version of John Candy is a stupid fursona to have
- Suggest that a werewolf version of Jim Carrey as the Grinch is a stupid fursona to have
- Remind her that John Candy died of a heart attack at age 43, and that Mariana "doesn't have much time left!"
- Remind her that Jim Carrey is a talentless hack, and that the live action Grinch movie sucked
- Tell her Steve Martin is better than Jim Carrey
- Say you like Were(insert another dead comedian)s better!
- Critique her art, and watch her accuse you of flaming regardless of how legitimate your criticisms are
- Make fun of her supposed friends
- Make fun of her supposed friends' pictures
- Remind her that online acquaintances are not real friends
- Remind her that only children believe in imaginary monsters
- Accuse her of being gay
- Accuse her of being egotistical
- Accuse her of shamelessly promoting for her supposed friends
- Any or all of the above, but on a site that isn't deviantART that she can't delete your entries on (Or have someone else do it for her).
- Tell her she is violating copyright law.
- Tell her that her "friend" Andria Kilgore is a sockpuppet
- Tell her that she will go to a group home or a mental hospital when her parents die
- Call her a "budos olah" (Hungarian gypsy term for "Stinky Romanian")
- Make fun of New Zealand or Romania maliciously
Reactions to Encyclopedia Dramatica
On deviantART and DCQC...
—Excerpt from a comment on "Nathan F" on Encyclopedia Dramatica |
—Excerpt from "Enclyopedia Dramatica gone too far" |
—Excerpt from "The lulz are gone" |
—Excerpt from a comment on "Nathan F" on Encyclopedia Dramatica |
On her personal blog...
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Demonstrating her inability to not make pop culture references.
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Singing the gospel of Uncyclopedia and Urbandictionary.
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Mariana lying through her teeth, and systematically denying everything.
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Attempting to rally her imaginary personal army against ED.
And even on Encyclopedia Dramatica itself!
EDF 2 Saga
In July 2011, after the forums has been resurrected for the 2.5th time, an EDiot made a topic about ED's asspie brother METOKUR. A few posts after, something brown, furry and Canadian appears! Mariana Hanks started bitching about how she white knighted some furry chick on Metokur which caused her to be IP banned. EDiots quickly hung her up like a piñata and beat the lulz out of her. She continued to contradict herself in the thread, which turned into a "DrMusic2 Gangbanging Thread". Then, she made a thread pleading to Zaiger to take down her article, but she continued to make an ass out of herself.
—- DrMusic2, calmly telling those nasty trolls off. |
Her spergings were then ignored by the Ediots in the thread. She blames this on ED's server and gave a suggestion.
—DrMusic2 knows CSIII |
She repeatedly posted in the thread saying TAKE MY ARTICLE DOWN OR ELSE not knowing that posters on the thread aren't even EDitors or sysops (except for Zaiger). She was then instructed to get on IRC, but she doesn't even know what IRC is. After finally installing IRC, she instead went to some furry chatroom. Meanwhile back on EDF, she bragged that she has talked to sysops who agreed to take down her article.
—DrMusic2 daydreamed |
Ediots demanded proof, which DrMusic replied with more white noise. Which then Zaiger replied:
—Zaiger puts the final nail on a weregrinch's coffin |
With that:
According to eyewitness reports, the werejohncandy/werejayleno can still be seen roaming the internet wilderness, where she continues to post complaints on ED's page (which she then deletes an hour later).
Nico's death
Mariana's long-suffering 13-year-old cat Nico died just before Christmas 2011, supposedly of kidney failure, but ediots in the forums came up with a more likely and more lulzy explanation of the cat's demise and compared its death to that of Chris-chan's dog Patti dying.
In early 2012, Mariana's parents gave into her begging for another cat, and purchased two kittens, named Casper and Billy. Mariana claimed that Casper was returned to the pound, but for all we know, Mariana could have tortured it to death
Quotes
The werejohncandy speaks
Previous Video | Next Video |
Email correspondence with 78magnumXE
[[quote|Hello Chris. Do you know what prost magar means in Romanian? It means stupid asshole, since you used a racial slurr to call me a stinky romanian. I think it's about time that I fought back, you are a prost magar - a stupid asshole.
Scratch that, you're not just the asshole - you're the whole damn donkey. Hee haw! Not only are you an asshole but you've got to be the most evil of the trolls i've dealt with, from your sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me, from you making me lie to you about Andria just to satisfy your hunger, from your downright questionable trolling methods in general - damn, you are one eeeeevil dude. Even Hitler would faint at the sight of you, you're just THAT scary.
I mean how can anyone stand to be around a guy like you? I mean how can they can not be creeped out by your beaviour? Does anyone else know that you have a sick obsession with wanting to get rid of me besides your EDiot friends on the forums? I sure as hell hope so....because then they can see what a creep you truly are.
You're not only a troll , but you're a douchebag, a pain in the ass, a stalker, and just generally just plain creepy and pure evil. I mean damn, you're almost like a serial killer. I wouldn't be surprised if this sick obsession with me would cause you to be sent to a mental asylum, because quite frankly that's where a person like you belongs.
I mean not even Heath Ledger's Joker was that terrifying compared to you.}}
Galleries
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Is that an arm where his cock should be or what?
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The Human Centipede has nothing on Nathan.
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Doing his best "sexy boy pose".
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Around werejohncandys, never relax.
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No prom date...
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Just takin' a shit
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Spare some change, sir?
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No.
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This picture looks...
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... Oddly familiar.
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IS
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DAT
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SUM
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What is it with her...
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... Reusing stock photos...
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... Over and over again?
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Self-portrait.
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Jerry Seinfeld as a "weregrinch"? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!?
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A feather-knife for a cock? I don't even know anymore.
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Prepare for nerd rage in your not too distant future.
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For some odd reason, Nathan is fascinated by koala bears.
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So enamored by them is she...
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... She's submitted literally dozens of deviations of them...
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... Each one more ridiculous than the last.
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Check out that super invisible hair-do.
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OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??!
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"An original art piece."
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This is what NBC wouldn't show you.
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Coming soon to your PSP!
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Nathan convinced a "friend" to model for her while wearing facepaint.
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Little did she know, she would be featured in over three dozen pictures...
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... Each one progressively worse than the last.
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Space awww fuck my balls just fell off.
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Snorlax? No kidding.
See Also
External Links
- [1]Latest deviantART profile
New deviantART ProfileHacked and has a questionable futureHer Facebook profileDeletedHer JewToob accountDeleted- Myspace Profile (Idle since January of 2009)
deviantART ProfileDeleted in 2010- "Metokur" Complaint Thread
- "Someone ignored my copyright notice and stole my art and put it on a website called "metokur.or""
- "Damm enclyopedia dramatica"
"Inside the Lab With Doc M" on Blogspot (Consists mostly of reposts from her deviantART journal)- Deleted
Contact Information
- Full name: Mariana Nelia Hanks
- Birthplace: Brazov, Romania
- E-mail: [email protected]
- AIM: DocM
- ICQ: 43409
- MSN: TheGoodDoctor
- Skype: Monstermaster1392
- Home Address: 28 Rosemary Ave, Forrest Hill, Auckland 0620, New Zealand
DrMusic2 is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
DrMusic2 is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
DrMusic2 is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article May 10, 2010 | ||
Preceded by Lawrence Taylor / Catherine Deveny (Double Feature) |
DrMusic2 | Succeeded by HAARP |
Featured article August 19 & August 20, 2011 | ||
Preceded by EDiot |
DrMusic2 | Succeeded by Nevada-tan |