Call of Duty: Black Ops 2: Difference between revisions

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'''Call of Duty: Black Ops 2''', aka Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2, Campsite simulator: The Electric boogaloo, Cock of Doody: Black Cocks 2 or Cash Cow of Duty: Money Whoring 2 is the latest game from the fags that brought you [[Call of Duty: World at War]] and [[Black Ops|Black Cocks]].
{{moar| content...}}
 
 
'''Call of Duty: Black Ops 2''', (''aka'' Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2) is the latest game from the fags that brought you [[Call of Duty: World at War]] and [[Black Ops|Black Cocks]].




== Campaign ==
== Campaign ==


So apparently Alex Mason and his buddies got fucked over in South AIDSfrica in the 1980s, and they somehow unwittingly help a future iluminati leader plan on doing the US in. The other half of the game consists of everything blowing up, people getting fucked up the ass with machine guns and actual robot military men.
So apparently Alex Mason and his buddies got fucked over in [[AIDS|South Africa]] in the 1980s and they somehow unwittingly assisted a future [[Illuminati]] leader's plans for screwing the US in the ass. The majority of the game consists of everything getting blown up, people getting fucked in the ass with machine guns and the unveiling of robotic military personnel.


=== Confirmed Characters ===
=== Confirmed Characters ===


*Alex Mason: The same brainwashed and crazy bastard from Black Cocks 1 returns for the first half of the game.
*'''Alex Mason''': The same brainwashed and crazy bastard from [[Black Ops|Black Cocks]] returns for the first half of the game.
*David Mason: Loser son of loser dad.
*'''David Mason''': The loser son of loser dad.
*Frank Woods: '''HOLY SHIT FRANK WOODS SURVIVED HIS JIHAD ON KRAVTCHENKO BUT HE WAS ROYALLY FUCKED IN THE LEGS AND NOW HE IS FORCED TO HELP A SPIC CONTROL THE US ARMY!!!'''
*'''Frank Woods''': '''HOLY SHIT FRANK WOODS SURVIVED HIS JIHAD AGAINST KRAVTCHENKO BUT WAS ROYALLY FUCKED IN THE LEGS SO HE'S NOW FORCED TO HELP WITH SPIC CONTROL!
*Raul Mendez: A beaner who is this game's antagonist. He can either be raped by you or simply caught in the end.
*'''Raul Mendez''': A [[Mexico|beaner]] who plays the role of [[Troll|antagonist]]. He can either be killed or [[raped|caught]].


== Multiplayer ==
== Multiplayer ==
Line 26: Line 27:
*Flak Jacket
*Flak Jacket
*[[BDSM|Tactical Mask]]
*[[BDSM|Tactical Mask]]
*Coldblooded
*[[Rick James|Coldblooded]]


=== Weapons ===
=== Weapons ===
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==== Assault Rifle ====  
==== Assault Rifle ====  


*AK-47: Since every single game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
*'''AK-47''': As every game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
*AN-94: Complete reskin of the AK-47, so it's pointless to put in the game.
*'''AN-94''': [[Mary Sue|Reskin]] of the AK-47, pointless.
*M16: [[Sarcasm|Such an uncommon weapon]], [[Aspies|Treyarch]].
*'''M16''': [[Sarcasm|Such an uncommon weapon]], [[Aspies|Treyarch]].
*Commando: Copy and pasted from the original Fag Ops.
*'''Commando''': Copypasta from the original Fag Ops.
*Galil: So Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses due to how shitty it is and once again has return to be the most used weapon in multiplayer.
*'''Galil''': Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses. <!-- LOL Jews-->
*FN FAL: Moar like [[Fail]], [[amirite]]?
*'''FN FAL''': Moar like [[Fail]], [[amirite]]? <!-- No, you are a faggot. -->
*Type 95: The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
*'''Type 95''': The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
*Type 25: Treyarch is now pandering to the AZN fan base by including more gook shit.
*'''Type 25''': Treyarch pandering to the AZN fanbase by including more gook fire-power.
*M4A1: The signature weapon of the US army.
*'''M4A1''': The signature weapon of the [[Faggots|US army]].
*M8A1: A nazi-trash weapon, because CoD protocol always dictates at least 1 per game.
*'''M8A1''': Nazi-trash, CoD protocol dictates at least one per title.
*SCAR-H: Why Treyarch, why?
*'''SCAR-H''': Why Treyarch, why?


==== Submachine Gun ====
==== Submachine Gun ====


*Vector K10: Treyarch lazily reuses the MW2 skins, because the animators are to lazy to come up with new skins and animations.
*'''Vector K10''': Copypasta from MW2.
*Uzi: Useless SMG is useless.
*'''Uzi''': Useless SMG is useless.
*Chicom: Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a [[lol|bullpup SMG.]]
*'''Chicom''': Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a [[lol|bullpup SMG.]]
*PDW57: A fictional weapon. Seriously Treyarch is now putting make believe weapons in a game that strived for realism all this time.
*'''PDW57''': Fictional.


==== Light Machine Gun ====
==== Light Machine Gun ====


*Mk46: Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was rape incarnate.
*'''Mk46''': Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was [[rape]] incarnate.
*LSAT: Britfag LMG.
*'''LSAT''': Britfag LMG.


==== Sniper Rifle ====
==== Sniper Rifle ====


*Storm PSR: Semi automatic high recoil sniper. Totally not a Barrett .50cal.
*'''Storm PSR''': Totally not a Barrett .50cal.
*Ballista: A bolt action rifle. Will be used in those [[Retarded|awesome]] [[Shit nobody cares about|quickscope clips]].
*'''Ballista''': Bolt-action rifle. Awesome.
*DSR 10: Second bolt action for more quickscope clips, but has some [[WTF|awkward triangle scope that magically turns into a cylinder upon aiming]].
*'''DSR 10''': A second bolt-action for more quickscope kills, posesses an [[WTF|awkward triangle scope that magically turns into a cylinder upon aiming]].


==== Shotgun ====
==== Shotgun ====


*KSG: Russfag weapon that players got butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
*'''KSG''': The Ruskie weapon that players became butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
*M1216: [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|Select fire shotgun.]]
*'''M1216''': [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|Select fire shotgun.]]


=== Secondary ===
=== Secondary ===
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==== Handguns ====
==== Handguns ====


*M1911: Call of Duty's signature handgun.
*'''M1911''': Signature handgun.
*KAP-40: Futuristic looking pistol.
*'''KAP-40''': Futuristic looking pistol.
*Five-Seven: M9 Beretta replacement. Doubles as an infield emergency dildo.
*'''Five-Seven''': M9 Beretta replacement.
*Raging Judge: A [[Cock|revolver]]. It's not even a real weapon for fuck's sake.
*'''Raging Judge''': A [[Cock|revolver]], it's not even a real weapon for fuck's sake.


==== Launcher ====
==== Launcher ====


*RPG: Included in this game for the same reason as the AK-47. Used by Niggers in the 1980s half of the game.
*'''RPG''': Included in the game for the same reason as the AK-47. As utilised by Niggers in the 1980s.
*MM-1: Free fire or lock on fuckstick that nobody cares about.
*'''MM-1''': Free-fire or lock-on fuckstick that [[Nobody cares|nobody cares about]].
*FHJ-18 AA: A rocket that has erectile disfunction  
*'''FHJ-18 AA''': A rocket with erectile disfunction.


=== Grenades ===
=== Grenades ===
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==== Lethal ====
==== Lethal ====


*Frag grenades: Rendered obsolete by semtex, like in the other past installments.  
*'''Frag''': Rendered obsolete by Semtex.  
*Semtex: Sticky grenade. You will hear these going off almost as much as Claymores.
*'''Semtex''': An adhesive grenade that you'll hear detonating almost as much as Claymores.
*Tomahawk: Axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped when using it.
*'''Tomahawk''': An axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped.
*[[Sex|Bouncing]] Betty: Or Buttsecks bitch, launches into the air and explodes, raping anyone and everyone.
*'''[[Sex|Bouncing]] Betty''': Or 'Buttsecks Bitch', launches into the air and explodes, raping everyone.


==== Tactical ====
==== Tactical ====


*Flashbangs: Ghey sounding detonation. Doesn't do shit.
*'''Flashbangs''': Ghey, doesn't do shit.
*Shock Charge: EMP grenade renamed.
*'''Shock Charge''': EMP renamed.
 
 


== Zombies ==
== Zombies ==


Apparently now a carbon copy of Left 4 dead as when you die you respawn as a zombie. Also, you are allowed 8 players instead of 6.
Apparently now a carbon copy of [[Left 4 Dead]] as when you die you respawn as a zombie. The previous limit of six players has now been increased to eight.




== See also ==
== See also ==


*''[[Call of Duty: Black Ops]]'', Where the story and skins were ripped off from
*''[[Call of Duty: Black Ops]]'', Where the story and skins were ripped from.
*''[[Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3]]'', Where the rest of the shit is ripped from
*''[[Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3]]'', Where the rest of the shit is ripped from.
*''[[Shit]]'', which the game is
*''[[Shit]]'', which the game is.
*''[[Faggot]]'', a requirement for being on the Treyarch developing team
*''[[Faggot]]'', a requirement for being on the Treyarch development team.
*''[[Autism]]'', another requirement for being a developer or a member of the fanbase
*''[[Autism]]'', another requirement for being a developer or a member of the fanbase.


{{Gaming}}
{{Gaming}}

Revision as of 03:43, 9 August 2012

What? This article needs moar content....
You can help by adding moar content....


Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, (aka Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2) is the latest game from the fags that brought you Call of Duty: World at War and Black Cocks.


Campaign

So apparently Alex Mason and his buddies got fucked over in South Africa in the 1980s and they somehow unwittingly assisted a future Illuminati leader's plans for screwing the US in the ass. The majority of the game consists of everything getting blown up, people getting fucked in the ass with machine guns and the unveiling of robotic military personnel.

Confirmed Characters

  • Alex Mason: The same brainwashed and crazy bastard from Black Cocks returns for the first half of the game.
  • David Mason: The loser son of loser dad.
  • Frank Woods: HOLY SHIT FRANK WOODS SURVIVED HIS JIHAD AGAINST KRAVTCHENKO BUT WAS ROYALLY FUCKED IN THE LEGS SO HE'S NOW FORCED TO HELP WITH SPIC CONTROL!
  • Raul Mendez: A beaner who plays the role of antagonist. He can either be killed or caught.

Multiplayer

Confirmed Perks

Weapons

All anyone usually cares about.

Primary

Assault Rifle

  • AK-47: As every game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
  • AN-94: Reskin of the AK-47, pointless.
  • M16: Such an uncommon weapon, Treyarch.
  • Commando: Copypasta from the original Fag Ops.
  • Galil: Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses.
  • FN FAL: Moar like Fail, amirite?
  • Type 95: The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
  • Type 25: Treyarch pandering to the AZN fanbase by including more gook fire-power.
  • M4A1: The signature weapon of the US army.
  • M8A1: Nazi-trash, CoD protocol dictates at least one per title.
  • SCAR-H: Why Treyarch, why?

Submachine Gun

  • Vector K10: Copypasta from MW2.
  • Uzi: Useless SMG is useless.
  • Chicom: Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a bullpup SMG.
  • PDW57: Fictional.

Light Machine Gun

  • Mk46: Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was rape incarnate.
  • LSAT: Britfag LMG.

Sniper Rifle

Shotgun

  • KSG: The Ruskie weapon that players became butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
  • M1216: Select fire shotgun.

Secondary

Handguns

  • M1911: Signature handgun.
  • KAP-40: Futuristic looking pistol.
  • Five-Seven: M9 Beretta replacement.
  • Raging Judge: A revolver, it's not even a real weapon for fuck's sake.

Launcher

  • RPG: Included in the game for the same reason as the AK-47. As utilised by Niggers in the 1980s.
  • MM-1: Free-fire or lock-on fuckstick that nobody cares about.
  • FHJ-18 AA: A rocket with erectile disfunction.

Grenades

Lethal

  • Frag: Rendered obsolete by Semtex.
  • Semtex: An adhesive grenade that you'll hear detonating almost as much as Claymores.
  • Tomahawk: An axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped.
  • Bouncing Betty: Or 'Buttsecks Bitch', launches into the air and explodes, raping everyone.

Tactical

  • Flashbangs: Ghey, doesn't do shit.
  • Shock Charge: EMP renamed.

Zombies

Apparently now a carbon copy of Left 4 Dead as when you die you respawn as a zombie. The previous limit of six players has now been increased to eight.


See also

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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