Capcom

A Catcom is fine too...

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Capcom (short for Crapcom) is a Japanese video game company that produces games for fags who like endless zombie-maiming or faggot robots who shoot balls at their other faggot robot enemies. Their name is based on their original company name "Capsule Computer". But the thing that makes it an epic win is that it actually GIVES A SHIT about its classics such as Mega Man up to the point of bringing it back to it's 8-Bit glory Disregard that, Crapcom got butthurt that Inafune left the company and is now shitting all over Mega Man.

Fanbase

Since Capcom has produced some of the most successful game franchises in history, each of them have fantards who will fight to the death if anyone dares to slander the reputation of their favorite games. More rabid fans may even get angry at Capcom if they don't make a certain game a system exclusive. Such is dictated in this ALL CAPS rant on Devil May Cry 4. The very fact that the game would be available on the Xbox 360 in addition to the PS3 drove this user to the point of insanity.

	“	THATS IT F*CK THIS IM BOUT TO GO ALL F*UCKING OUT ON DIS COMMENT I AM SICK OF CAPCOM I HATE IT IM GONNA GATHER UP ALL MY CAPCOM GAME AND PUT UM IN A PILE WITH DMC ON TOP AND TAKE IT TO CAPCOM'S CENTER AND BURN THE GAMES ALONG WITH THE REST OF CAPCOM THEN GO TO MEXICO WHERE I CANT BE HARMED BY SONY HATERS/CAPCOM LOVERS CAUSE IN MEXICO ALL CRIMES U DO IN OTHER COUNTRIES WELL DA MEXICAN GOVERNMENT CANT DO ANYTHING BOUT IT B!TCHES. AND I'M F*CKIN SERIOUS TOO.IF CAPCOM RELEASES F.CKIN DMC 4 ON DAT HORRIBLE LOOKING SHI.T 36O I MA BURN THEIR SHI.TY BASE AND MURDER BILL GATES FOR A F*CKIN GAME AND I'M CRAZY ENOUGH TO DO IT B!TCHES SO FU.CK 360 AND FU.CK MICROSOFT CAUSE THE ONLY GOOD EXCLUSIVES THEY EVER HAD ARE THE HALO SERIES AND NINJA GAIDEN AND GUESS WAT THEY DON'T HAVE NINJA GAIDEN ANYMORE.THATS RIGHT HOORAY CAUSE NINJA GAIDEN IS WAY BETTER THAN DMC SO TEAM NINJA COMES OUT SMARTER THAN CAPCOM SO FU.CK DMC CAUSE PS3 HAS A WAY BETTER GAME AND DON'T NEED DMC I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS PETITION IS STILL GOING ON.PS3	„
	—CoMMon Sense, living up to his namesake

And another one. Bitches don't know about the concept of multi-platform releases. It brings in more monies for the company so they can continue to make their little games.

	“	Devil May cry is an exclusive the PS3 needs to help it along its path to becoming a viable next gen system, it is not the only game needed, but is still very helpful to the PS3s line-up. Multi-platform releases may help Capcom make more money initially,but it also contributes to the destruction of a gaming system and the over-all dumbing down of game quality that occurs from multi-platform releases. If Capcom chooses to release DMC4 in a multiplatform matter I will boycott their games.	„
	—Nameless Sonytard, failing to understand the concept of good marketing.

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Their Games

Capcom has been responsible for a number of game franchises:

• Breath of Fire - Some kind of RPG(???) game that was forgotten on last thursday.
• Street Fighter - A fighting game where you beat the crap out of your opponents. All of them are 2D with the exception of the fourth one.
• Megaman - Boring action game involving a 13 year old boy robot who kills other robots. Most of the other spinoffs are even more boring strategy games.
• Phoenix Wright - A faggot lawyer needs the help of kids and dead people to solve cases in the most retarded legal system evar. Basically just an Internet court simulator where you must settle lawsuits by throwing constant objections.
• Resident Evil - You go around, kill zombies and avoid getting raped. Whoops, wrong game.
• Dino Crisis - Resident Evil with dinosaurs. About as stupid as a fever dream.
• Dead Rising - Same as RE except you just kill a bunch of zombies using various weapons.
• Devil May Cry - Button mashing romp where you play as a half human/half demon with white hair and a too-cool-for-you attitude while fighting demons. In the fourth game, you don't play as Dante but as some whiny shit named Nero. Capcom pulled an MGS on its fanbase apparently.
• Darkstalkers - The same as Street Fighter, but with furries and otherkin.
• Strider - You Jump, slash, Dash, that's it. Oh, and it has a plot nobody gives a shit about.
• Bionic Commando - Game where you play as a guy with an arm that extends. Notable for the fact that you get to see Hitler's head a splode at the end of the game.
• Grand Theft Auto - They distribute this game in Japan because they think they're hardcore.
• Monster Hunter - A game no one outside Japan gives a shit about. Weeaboos love it since they can use a longsword, and be just like their hero, Sephiroth.
• Viewtiful Joe - A game where a guy in a tight red suit with a pink cape goes and saves his game using movie powers but the only one you will use is slow-down.
• God Hand - FUCK YES! YOU ARE THE BEST CAPCOM GAME EVER!
• Okami - The Legend of Zelda for furries. Not to be confused with the other Zelda for furries.

Disc-Locked Content and the Exploitation Of Gamers

You want pray game? You want pray as Branka or Clistie? Twenty dorrah! Pay up! You want pray as Dudrey? Too bad! Twenty dorrah! Twenty dorrah now!

While certain other companies are known for screwing Jewing their fanbases over, Capcom takes this to a whole new level. In recent years, Crapcom have become infamous for their contemptuous attitude towards their audience, engaging in near fraudulent business practices that exploit the customer loyalty of their fanbase to the fullest. But, to be honest, looking at the mouth-breathing spackers that continue to blindly buy their games regardless, who could blame them?

Capcom have devised numerous cunning ways of parting their devoted audience with their welfare money, but the most infamous and widely-used is the practise of DLC.

'DLC' is an abbreviation that typically means 'downloadable content', unless of course you're Capcom, in which case it can also mean 'disc-locked content'. What is disc-locked content, I hear you ask? Basically, locking away characters/items/stages on the game disc (that you've already bought and paid for) and then charging you to unlock that content.

So, once you've bought that game you wanted for $60, you then have to pay upwards of an extra $40 for content that's already on the disc in the first place! And that's not even counting actual downloadable content, if you're a completist aspie who has to have all the extra costume packs, weapon packs and shit, which might easily bring it up an even greater pricetag.

Crapcom makes millions a year from this nickle-and-dime practice and bizarrely, however, rather than tell the company in no uncertain terms that this is bullshit, the mindless spergs that make up Capcom's fanbase not only continue to buy the games and line their pockets, but also attack those that see through the bullshit and try to inform people about it. These foolish individuals, sometimes known by their scientific names 'Capcocksuckers' and 'Capcum guzzlers' are the cancer killing gaming and should be shunned, as by continuing to support a company like Capcom, that they know to be exploitative, they are responsible for every gamer getting screwed over by corporations.

See Also

• Capcom BBS
• BLACKbusterCritic

External Links

• Sonytards BAAAAAAAAAAWWW after hearing that Devil May Cry 4 isn't a PS3 exclusive.

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