Angry Joe: Difference between revisions
imported>Hipcrime Undo revision 672452 by OmegaH ACKER (talk) |
imported>Blazedasherut Update |
||
| Line 115: | Line 115: | ||
}}</center> | }}</center> | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
==Breakup with Girlfriend== | |||
In his recent Twitter posts Joe announced that he broke up with his [[dickgirl|girlfriend]]. Maybe it was because his [[micropenis]] couldn't satisfy her, or she was just in it for the [[money]] the entire time. [[Some argue]] that it was a typical [[Mexico|Mexican]] [[File:Angry Joe Girlfriend.jpg|right|thumb|120px|Camwhore, anyone?]]relationship, with Joe yelling at her during livestreams and always blaming her for his problems. But being the retard that he is, Joe [[facepalm|made the post public on his twitter]] before quickly deleting it. Before he did, his [[typical|fantards offered him condolences, beer, and blowjobs in the back alley of a McDonald's play place.]] | |||
Realizing the shitstorm she was about to get from Joe's fans, she promptly deleted her Twitter account. But looking at her still intact instagram account, any [[retard]] with eyes can see she was desperate for anyone besides Joe's [[cock|little taquito]]. | |||
[http://www.imgur.com/0sfWVIU Screencap of her instagram pictures] | |||
== Gallery == | == Gallery == | ||
Revision as of 23:27, 17 October 2014
Joe Vargas (aka Angry Joe) is one among the festering shitpiles of video game reviewers on That Guy With The Glasses He is of Puerto Rican heritage, so that makes him half-beaner. The batshit insane Joe produces a multitude of videos such as Let's Plays, movie reviews, angry rants, first impressions and the most popular, his Angry Reviews. He is known for being a connoisseur of Superman merchandise, movies, and games. He has made a couple of cameos in Nostalgia Critic, TGWTG's To Boldly Flee, and Kickassia. He is also a Youtube partner, making a bit more Jew gold than most people on TGWTG.
—Angry Joe on his content | ||
As most youtube "celebrities" do, he makes shitty vlogs (note the apparent neckbeard) that are mainly him having a nerdgasm over video games involving superheroes, or trying to sell merchandise. He also promotes kickstarters that either suck and have no purpose or are a complete scam. Does that sound familiar?
Beginnings
Several years ago, Joe produced and published his first Angry Review, the beginning starts as a monologue saying how he is the defender against shitty nex-gen games. Although the video only has 65000 views, he still somehow got popular.
The Angry Joe Show - What it's all about
about to prolapse.
Get it? He's angry. DURR HURR HURR HURR. Angry Joe (Powerword: Joe Vargas) is a spiked crewcut homo beaner, that essentially serves as TGWTG's answer to the AVGN or as a placeholder until they can nab someone more popular, who is stupid enough to stay as long as this guy.
He is the not-recognized son of Germán Valdez "Tin Tan" and likes to portray himself as a brave and righteous hero that fights the good fight against the big evil gaming corporations, and believes he is the voice of all gamers on the internet. He is aided in his crusade by his loyal fanbase, the so-called "Angry Joe Army", who will buy anything he tells them to buy, gloating about their combined purchasing power. However, he has proven himself more than willing to screw his fanbase over by stealing their ideas and begging them for various kinds of services. Not to mention the fact that he thinks "fighting The Man" means jizzing over the hottest 1st party property out on any given week and ignoring the Indie Gaming scene entirely. Naturally, as original as video game reviewers can be, his trademarks consists of the same Superman shirt and a theme song shamelessly ripping off G.I. Joe.
In Mr Vargas' defence, he is quite possibly the hardest working Mexican on the face of the planet. Joe manages to spew out at least ten videos a day for TGWTG, all of which will be viewed by no one due to them all being the same fucking thing. If you've seen one Angry Joe video, you've seen them all... and they're all shit!!!
Joe's usual video consists of him pretending to become enraged over some insignificant segment of a video game/recently released movie... for ten minutes (all encased in a slew of shitty green screening and after effects). When it is quite apparent (either from his lack of acting ability or true opinion) that he clearly doesn't give a fuck IRL and is only making this pretend emotion to make moar monies on Blip. Sadly, the only people to call him out on his pretend emo faggotry were the members of Spoony's forums who've presumably been banned for saying anything but blind praise to Spoony's friends. Still, for the rest of the Internets, Angry Joe fails harder than the very retard he imitates.
Recently, Joe went from having the most effects-laden show of the entire TGWTG crew to actually upgrading his show. Much more impressively however, he brought on a sidekick: a busty blonde chick. Despite the obvious fact that she was acquired in the course of human trafficking from Tijuana, Joe has on his show a chick who is light-years out of the league of any other TGWTG fan or contributor. Sidekick Lisa Foiles has her own upstart video game review show on The Escapist, and predictably enough it is shit.
Unfortunately, due to a total lapse in US border control, he sadly wasn't thrown back over the border to Mexico during his recent trip to Nevada to film the 2nd Anniversary video.
Also, his moustache makes him look like a faggot, but you already knew that. How else do you think he got put in charge of Blistered Thumbs?
Angry Joe vs. Geoff Keighley
For years like most stupid gamers Angry Joe made a huge deal about the Spike TV VGAs being awful and a misrepresentation of gaming culture. Yes this show is indeed shitty, but neither the industry or the actual audience watching cares to throw a tantrum like Joe does. Nobody cares if they win an award and don't promote it as much as an actual award like the Game Developers Choice Awards. Life goes on and more games are made without any alterations from the show. Joe doesn't feel that they fucking care about your petty concerns as a gamer and wants to be your voice, which is apparently the voice of an annoying douche bag spic with a faggy mustache who's the son of your cleaning lady and wants you to keep him entertained until she's done fucking your dad in the next room. So all you hear is stupid ranting and dumb nitpicks in front of a green screen about something he has zero control over.
Since there wasn't enough evidence to prove that Joe is incapable of being a reviewer or having any outside contact with normal people, Joe was invited to the 2010 Spike TV VGAs. Instead of being grateful as being recognized from his 5th rate site as an actual journalist, he decides to make a video where he pisses on his host's face. Geoff Keighley all around nice guy and professional journalist thought it would be funny to fuck with Joe. So instead of deleting his email and ignoring him forever, he grants him his invite. In another video update Joe considers this a huge blow against him. Joe now asks of his fans to write questions to ask Geoff in a 15 minute interview he was promised. After all being a professional journalist Joe couldn't come up with his own questions and do his own research before walking into the lion's den known as the Spike TV VGAs.♠
So Joe sets out for the show without any preparation to spit hot fire about his retarded agenda. When Joe and his gay camera man arrives we see that he is put in the dead last spot for the press and Geoff doesn't want to even talk with him. After all Geoff is a busy man and he's got to make sure this entire show runs smoothly and could wait until after to talk with Joe. Joe is so frustrated that he can no longer wait. Eventually he convinces some girl to make Geoff talk with him where Geoff tells him he's got a few minutes which Joe claims it was two. From this moment on we see the worst gaming journalist interview put on film as Geoff tears this rookie's asshole in half like a phone book, all while Joe seems to be constantly on the edge of crying like a little girl. Joe then bitches how he let everyone down and is a complete failure, but it was not his fault.
The outcome of this weighs in with the drooling dipshit fans who think Joe was absolutely right and Geoff was an asshole. Joe is apparently considered a misunderstood hero who's rights have been trampled upon. Anyone who's not part of TGWTG, knows about journalism, likes videos games, or is considered a normal human being think Joe is the biggest retard in the world. Not only did Joe burn any bridges with getting future invites to the show, but anyone in the video game industry that sees this will forever pan their site from being considered as journalists. So all outside sources from TGWTG start to throw their opinions about Joe back at him without the risk of being instabanned from Blistered Thumbs. Joe starts to pick a fight with one called imagesfromapoet no less than a half hour after the video was uploaded. She later blocked her comments, but we've saved them all for you.
Previous Video | Next Video
How to make an Angry Joe review
- Dress up like a fucking retard and make a two minute intro sketch before unveiling the game's box art.
- Steal content from real video game critics and talk about the game.
- Make sure to put in footage of the game while shouting something relevant, that's always funny!
- Make another sketch with the "Corporate Commander", screaming about how greedy other companies are. Which is ironic considering the shit Joe Vargas gets away with.
- Give your score, usually a 9/11.
- Upload and watch your audience of 12 year olds and bronies howl in laughter and receive jewgolds.
That's it. That's all you need to do to make an Angry Joe review, talent free money making scheme.
Content ID system rage
In December 2013, 62 of his videos were flagged by JewTube's new automated Content ID. He later made a video explaining how he quit his job at Taco Bell to make videos, an act he called "smart".The copyright problems has caused him epic butthurt because he realizes that he has to get real job again, instead of making money off his Aspie fan-base by copy pasting other peoples videos and adding his own bean&cheese commentary.
Caught in the act
In case you're a Joe white knight and you thought Joe was somehow above Encyclopedia Dramatica standards, think again. Like a dirty, flea-infested coyote, Joe rolled himself in the corpse of a fellow (ex)YouTube-celeb called "JewWario". He monetized a memorial video of said person and got caught out.
He lied and claimed it wasn't monetized (proven to be a liar in the video below) Claiming to be best friends with JewWario, despite meeting him once ever and never mentioning him on his own channel ever or having him as affiliated channels, he cried like a bitch on his twitter.
Obviously, his fanbase would blindly defend him without acknowledging the facts. So because of this, Angry Joe gets his youtube money and walks away a free man. Not surprising seeing he is a dirty money grabbing Jew/Mexican hybrid.
Previous Video | Next Video
Breakup with Girlfriend
In his recent Twitter posts Joe announced that he broke up with his girlfriend. Maybe it was because his micropenis couldn't satisfy her, or she was just in it for the money the entire time. Some argue that it was a typical Mexican
relationship, with Joe yelling at her during livestreams and always blaming her for his problems. But being the retard that he is, Joe made the post public on his twitter before quickly deleting it. Before he did, his fantards offered him condolences, beer, and blowjobs in the back alley of a McDonald's play place.
Realizing the shitstorm she was about to get from Joe's fans, she promptly deleted her Twitter account. But looking at her still intact instagram account, any retard with eyes can see she was desperate for anyone besides Joe's little taquito.
Screencap of her instagram pictures
Gallery
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The girlfriend
Amanda Kay Community manager. Sound familiar? -
See also
External links
 |
||
|
|
||
|
Angry Joe is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
 |
Angry Joe is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk
|
| Featured article December 18th & 19th, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Hollie Toups |
Angry Joe | Succeeded by Mighty Number 9 |