Mia Janin

	“	If you died would people care about you the next day?	„
	—Last known words of Mia Janin

She gets a 7.2 on our Jewish Cute Scale. We would have given her a higher score but we know that half of this pic is filters and makeup.

Mia Janin who Offed Herself on March 12, 2021 was your typical, angsty, Jewish, Crybaby 14-year-old girl that wanted every girl's dream of being popular with the Boys, and when she got what she Wanted- she refused to accept the attention or the old adage of Boys Will Be Boys

Her entire problem with the world, and her school life emerged when a a few boys at her school thought it would be fun to start trading pictures of her on Snapchat. Unable to accept this new found popularity of Hers, and following in the spirit of her many complaining, angry ancestors consisting of Old, Whiny, Jewish Women pissed off that they didn't get their 5% discount on a 50 cent cup of coffee - the first thing she did was rat out her many admiring boys to her School's principal because this new found popularity of hers was not going in ways she envisioned.

Hearing that Mia was enjoying her new found popularity, the Boy's of the Snapchat group decided it was time to up their Loving attention of her and took it up a notch.

Like so many celebrities finding out, after the fact, that fame isn't what they imagined, Mia Janin decided that is was better to swallow a bottle pills as a protest to what it means to be the popular girl.

The Really Big, Big Problem

We might have to rethink that 7.2

The World Shattering Problem that caused Mia Janin to cut open her wrists, with the same speed and gusto of opening up a last day of Hanukkah gift, where they know that they're going to be getting Jew Gold as a present, Mia's big problem with life was that some of the Boys at The Jewish Free School in Kenton were giving her too much attention.

It started with some kicking Footballs at her in an elementary school love declaration where they hoped that if the football hit her, she would know that they really, really liked her.

Being fans of hers, they started a Snapchat group where they passed pictures of her back and forth. Some boys found that the pictures of her taken in the school and on the campus, decided that they could be improved by photo shopping her head on pictures of Porn Stars or making AI videos of her having Sex - you know, normal boy stuff.

Being like all 14-year-old-girls and damaged, like so many women by the #MeToo movement, Mia Janin was offended by her new found attention of Boys trying to answer the age-old question of "I Wonder What She Looks Like Naked"?

In a conduct predictable of her gene type and genetic lineage, the first thing Mia Janin decided that she should do was run and cry to her school principal and demand that He put a stop to this trading of pics of her because it ways Hurting Her Feelings. After being told that he has no power of what his students do off campus and after school, an emotionally damaged Mia decided that she would take her whine outside and took to the internet as a way to expose these mean boys.

In an almost prophetic manner, when the SnapChat group of boys heard about Mia trying to get them in trouble with the school principle, whining on the Internets and to her friends - they decided to call her group of friends the Suicide Squad.

Like so many Uber-Offended, thin skinned kids, when her actions didn't achieve immediate results - she decided that the only thing left for her was to kill herself.

We're Going To Sue: Quick! To the Jew Cave

Mia wearing some Subliminal, Jewish instructions