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Greenwood Park Mall shooting: Difference between revisions

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{{AlGore}}
{{construction}}
{{construction}}
{{rainbowsmall|name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die}}
<br>
{{ib|[[File:JonathanDouglass.png|130px]]}}
{{ib|[[File:JonathanSapirman.jpg|130px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Jonathan Douglas Sapirman'''</big>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Jonathan Douglas Sapirman'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|November 30, 2001}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 3, injured 2}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|July 17, 2022 (aged 20)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|Hell no}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[High Score]]'''|Killed 3, injured 2}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|PWned by NPC}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|'''FUCK NO'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Singleplayer}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|[[You suck|No, pwnt by NPC]]}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}
Fucking [[Robert Crimo]]... [[Payton Gendron]]... When will these fucking shooters stop? We'll never know! But oh well, it does rack in traffic to our site so that's good :). On July 17, [[2022]], in [[CS|de_greenwood]], a low-score, generic mass-shooting by a generic lowlife [[Le 56% Face|56%]]. Like the [[Couch Cuck]], he started SHOOTING FUCKING EVERYTHING until his rampage quickly ended with a twist. He got [[PWNED]], not [[An hero|by himself]], not by [[police]], but by an [[Murika|ARMED CIVILIAN]]!
2022, the year of the [[mass shooter]] apparently. Kicking it off strong with [[Payton Gendron|Payton's]] buck-breaking adventures, continuing further with [[Salvador Ramos|Sal the Spic's]] 21 kills, which puts him as the first American shooter since [[Patrick Crusius]] to get on the [[High Score|Top 50]]. A couple of minor shootings later, including a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_Tulsa_hospital_shooting schizophrenic nigger who shot up a hospital] after being deprived of his [[Drugs|painkillers]], and of course, this month's [[Robert Crimo]]. Dishonorable mentions go to [[Frank James]] and [[High_Score/Loserinfo#Raymond_Spencer|Raymond Spencer]], both of whom failed to get [[DOING IT WRONG|'''A SINGLE FUCKING KILL!''']]
 
'''Jonathan Sapirman'''{{jew}}, after seeing the failfest that was [[Noah Esbensen|Noah's]] chimpout at a mall in Denmark, thought to himself that he could do it better. He was wrong, getting cucked almost as hard as [[William Atchison|AlGore]], but instead of by a couch, it was by a 22-year-old [[Generation Z|Zoomer]] who shot him eight times from a distance of forty yards with his 9mm Glock. Thus, Sapirman failed to earn his eternal notoriety, and becomes another in the [[Gun_control#Not_main_seeds|long list of losers]] whose "mass" shootings were so lame not even the [[Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists|most opportunistic]] [[Democrats|gun control advocates]] could use it for anything, leaving the shooting forgotten by the general public the very next day.
 
== The Fag with a Mag ==


== The awakening ==
As this case is fairly recent, for now, this could be updated in the futurah. Here's what we got.
As this case is fairly recent, for now, this could be updated in the futurah. Here's what we got.
The skinny ass [[twink]] behind this poorly acted attack is said to be 22 year old <big>Jonathan Douglas Sapirman</big>. He was a [[4chan|4channer]], probably a [[right wing]] [[extremist]], and too scared to show his [[PC]] '''[[Kill it with Fire|so he burned it]].''' [[John Earnest|Doesn't]] [[Payton Gendron|that]] [[Patrick Crusius|seem]] [[Adam Lanza|FAMILIAR?]]. From this we don't know much yet sadly. At young age, Johnny boy was left behind with [[Mama]] [[Orphan|cuz father went to get da milk]]. I'm pretty sure this guy is another Adam Lanza copycat (2 in a month lol), as we can see on their imgur posts POSTED ON 4CHAN that he tries to do that same stupid Lanza shit. We don't know any of his socials yet, so stay calm edgy YouTube content creators, you're [[Wrong|safe for a while]] ;). Notice how all these recent mall shooters can only get 3 PWns and after that they stop? Well that's stupid. Anyways after that we don't know anything. [https://archive.alice.al/bant/thread/15746209 Here's the link to the 4chan post.]
The man behind this poorly acted attack is said to be 20-year-old <big>Jonathan Douglas Sapirman</big>. He was a 4channer and redditor who was active on the r/masskillers subreddit. A right wing extremist probably, he was too scared to show his PC '''so he burned it.''' [[John Earnest|Doesn't]] [[Payton Gendron|that]] [[Patrick Crusius|seem]] [[Adam Lanza|FAMILIAR?]]. From this we don't know much yet sadly. At young age, Johnny boy was left behind with [[Mama]] [[Orphan|cuz father went to get da milk]]. This guy was another [[Adam Lanza]] copycat (two in a month lol), as we can see on his imgur posts POSTED ON 4CHAN that he tries to do that same stupid Lanza shit. Also, he posted a TON about Lanza on his numerous reddit accounts too. Someone reported his reddit account to the FBI for being [[You|obsessed with mass shooters]], but they closed the case because he didn't post anything threatening. They also couldn't link him to the account due to his use of free WiFi. Notice how all these recent mall shooters can only get three PWns and after that they stop? Well that's stupid. Anyways after that we don't know anything. [https://thebarchive.com/bant/thread/15746209 Here's the link to the 4chan post.]


== Loadout ==
== Loadout ==
[[File:JonathanDouglass.png|185px|thumb|left|Jonathan all geared up. Notice the way he points the gun at his head like [[Lanza]].]]
[[File:JonathanSapirmanDed.png|255px|thumb|right|[[Rekt|Game over]]]]
<div align="center">
<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
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|-
|-
|
|
*'''Primary''': SIG Sauer M400 semi-automatic rifle
*'''Primary''': SIG Sauer M400
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png|70px]]</center>
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png|70px]]</center>
|
|
*Several magazines [[for the lulz]]. 5.56.  
*Pretty expensive AR. '''22~45 Damage'''
|-
|-
|
|
*'''Primary''': M&P 5.56 caliber-rifle
*'''Secondary''': Smith & Wesson M&P-15
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM4.png|70px]]</center>
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM4.png|70px]]</center>
|
|
*Another rifle.
*Pretty decent AR [[Retard|THAT HE LEFT AT THE FUCKING BATHROOM TOILET]], same model used by [[Nikolas Cruz]], [[Robert Crimo]] among others. '''22~45 Damage'''
|-
|-
|
|
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<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsGlock.png|70px]]</center>
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsGlock.png|70px]]</center>
|
|
*Nothing special. Popular Glock
*Chambered in .357 SIG. Kinda sucks. '''15~29 Damage'''
|-
|-
|
|
Line 51: Line 59:


== Another mall shooting ==
== Another mall shooting ==
An hour prior to the minor lulzfest, Johnny boy went in the mall and sat there in its restrooms, probably [[shitting]] his life out before becoming a badazz. After 1 hour and 2 minutes, he came out the shit-infested unclean food court bathroom and went in to do something [[Joke|good for society]]. He fired 24 rounds of ammunition from his Sig Sauer rifle, killing 3 people and injuring 2 in a matter of seconds. Sadly, this bright start would come to a quick end when some armed dude called '''[[Word salad|Elisjsha]] [[Dick|Dicken]]''' who did a [[MLG|360 no scope]] on Jonathan and ended it all in 2 seconds of bullet travel and brain death. She called the cops and told them what happened. The [[FBI|Johnson County Coroner]] has identified the deceased victims as [[Spics|56-year-old Pedro Pineda, 37-year-old Rivera de Pineda, and 30-year-old Victor Gomez]], all from [[Shithole|Indianapolis]].
An hour prior to the minor lulzfest, Johnny boy went in the mall and sat there in its restrooms, probably [[shitting]] his life out before becoming a badazz. After sixty-two minutes, he came out the shit-infested unclean food court bathroom and went in to do something [[Joke|good for society]]. He fired 24 rounds of ammunition from his Sig Sauer rifle, killing three people and injuring two in a matter of seconds. Sadly, this bright start would come to a quick end when some armed dude called '''[[Word salad|Elisjsha]] [[Dick|Dicken]]''' who did a [[MLG|360 no scope]] on Jonathan and ended it all in two seconds of bullet travel and brain death. He called the cops and told them what happened. The [[FBI|Johnson County Coroner]] has identified the deceased victims as [[Spics|56-year-old Pedro Pineda, 37-year-old Rivera de Pineda, and 30-year-old Victor Gomez]], all from [[Shithole|Indianapolis]].


<center>
<gallery perrow="5">
File:Jonathan Sapirman 2.jpeg
File:Jonathan Sapirman 6 armory.jpeg
File:Jonathan Sapirman 4 enters.jpg
File:Jonathan Sapirman 5.jpg
File:Eli Dickens simulation.jpg
</gallery>
</center>


== Graded Score ==
== Graded Score ==
{{GradedScore|3|Go away faggot|7|24 shots fired with 3 killed and TWO injured|4|Had '''TWO''' ARs but still did shit|2|[[Nobody cares]]|0|Pwnt by an NPC and did absolutely dogshit with two ARs. YOU GET NOTHING.|16|F---|Should've taken some lessons from [[Robert Hawkins]]}}
{{Wanted|1}}


{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|purple|blue}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
==See also==
|-
*[[Noah Esbensen]] - Fellow [[2022]] mall shooter and [[Lanza]] fanboy.
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:blue;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
*[[Patrick Crusius]] - Fellow [[Spic]] exterminator.
|-
*[[Audrey Hale]] - The [[Transgender|tranny]] counterpart to this [[Jew]].
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
|3/20 Meh
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
|14/20 Took everyone but 2
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
|5/20 ''FUCKING GENERIC''
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
|2/20 ''No one cares it's kinda common nowadays''
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
|10/20 ''Republicoon joy!''
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:blue;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 34/100 ('''E+''')</big>
|}


<center>'''nawt gud'''</center>
==External links==
<center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center>
[[File:Eli Dicken's Big Iron.jpg|right|200px|thumb|]]
*{{wayback|https://imgur.com/a/nsdgv0Q/|title=Pics posted to Imgur}}


===== Police action =====
===Reddit accounts===
{{Wanted|3}}


==See Also==
*{{wayback|https://www.reddit.com/user/grobergermanic/|title=grobergermanic}}
*[[Patrick Crusius]] - Fellow [[spic]] exterminator.
*{{wayback|https://www.reddit.com/user/grober-/|title=grober-}}
*[[Noah Esbensen]] - Fellow [[2022]] mall shooter.
*{{wayback|https://www.reddit.com/user/greatergermanicreich|title=greatergermanicreich}}
*{{wayback|https://www.reddit.com/user/grobergermanicreich|title=grobergermanicreich}}


{{High Scores}}
{{High Scores}}

Latest revision as of 03:35, 29 February 2024

Greenwood Park Mall shooting is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore.
HOLD IT! STEP THE FUCK OFF!
Greenwood Park Mall shooting looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress!
If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.


Jonathan Douglas Sapirman
Born November 30, 2001
Died July 17, 2022 (aged 20)
Nationality: Americunt
High Score Killed 3, injured 2
Top 50? FUCK NO
Style Singleplayer
An Hero? No, pwnt by NPC

2022, the year of the mass shooter apparently. Kicking it off strong with Payton's buck-breaking adventures, continuing further with Sal the Spic's 21 kills, which puts him as the first American shooter since Patrick Crusius to get on the Top 50. A couple of minor shootings later, including a schizophrenic nigger who shot up a hospital after being deprived of his painkillers, and of course, this month's Robert Crimo. Dishonorable mentions go to Frank James and Raymond Spencer, both of whom failed to get A SINGLE FUCKING KILL!

Jonathan Sapirman✡, after seeing the failfest that was Noah's chimpout at a mall in Denmark, thought to himself that he could do it better. He was wrong, getting cucked almost as hard as AlGore, but instead of by a couch, it was by a 22-year-old Zoomer who shot him eight times from a distance of forty yards with his 9mm Glock. Thus, Sapirman failed to earn his eternal notoriety, and becomes another in the long list of losers whose "mass" shootings were so lame not even the most opportunistic gun control advocates could use it for anything, leaving the shooting forgotten by the general public the very next day.

The Fag with a Mag

As this case is fairly recent, for now, this could be updated in the futurah. Here's what we got. The man behind this poorly acted attack is said to be 20-year-old Jonathan Douglas Sapirman. He was a 4channer and redditor who was active on the r/masskillers subreddit. A right wing extremist probably, he was too scared to show his PC so he burned it. Doesn't that seem FAMILIAR?. From this we don't know much yet sadly. At young age, Johnny boy was left behind with Mama cuz father went to get da milk. This guy was another Adam Lanza copycat (two in a month lol), as we can see on his imgur posts POSTED ON 4CHAN that he tries to do that same stupid Lanza shit. Also, he posted a TON about Lanza on his numerous reddit accounts too. Someone reported his reddit account to the FBI for being obsessed with mass shooters, but they closed the case because he didn't post anything threatening. They also couldn't link him to the account due to his use of free WiFi. Notice how all these recent mall shooters can only get three PWns and after that they stop? Well that's stupid. Anyways after that we don't know anything. Here's the link to the 4chan post.

Loadout

Jonathan all geared up. Notice the way he points the gun at his head like Lanza.
Game over
Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: SIG Sauer M400
  • Pretty expensive AR. 22~45 Damage
  • Secondary: Smith & Wesson M&P-15
  • Secondary: Glock 33
  • Chambered in .357 SIG. Kinda sucks. 15~29 Damage
  • Perk 1: Stopping Power
  • Increases bullet damage to ræp the enemies.

Another mall shooting

An hour prior to the minor lulzfest, Johnny boy went in the mall and sat there in its restrooms, probably shitting his life out before becoming a badazz. After sixty-two minutes, he came out the shit-infested unclean food court bathroom and went in to do something good for society. He fired 24 rounds of ammunition from his Sig Sauer rifle, killing three people and injuring two in a matter of seconds. Sadly, this bright start would come to a quick end when some armed dude called Elisjsha Dicken who did a 360 no scope on Jonathan and ended it all in two seconds of bullet travel and brain death. He called the cops and told them what happened. The Johnson County Coroner has identified the deceased victims as 56-year-old Pedro Pineda, 37-year-old Rivera de Pineda, and 30-year-old Victor Gomez, all from Indianapolis.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 3/20 Go away faggot
Accuracy: 7/20 24 shots fired with 3 killed and TWO injured
Style: 4/20 Had TWO ARs but still did shit
Butthurt: 2/20 Nobody cares
Bonus: 0/20 Pwnt by an NPC and did absolutely dogshit with two ARs. YOU GET NOTHING.
Total Score: 16/100 (F---)
Should've taken some lessons from Robert Hawkins
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Mall Cop


See also

External links

Reddit accounts


 Greenwood Park Mall shooting is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Greenwood Park Mall shooting is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

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