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Boxing: Difference between revisions
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Boxing is the pussy version of [[MMA]], where you are only allowed to use your hands, | [[File:Boxing Punchingbag.jpg|thumb|Typical Boxing match.]]'''Boxing''' is the pussy version of [[MMA]], where you are only allowed to use your hands, and only after covering them in several layers of pillow stuffing. | ||
Boxing further differentiates itself from MMA by being the most corrupt sport in the history of mankind. Tampering with gloves, tampering with judges, tampering with referees, and tampering with [[your mom]] are all commonplace. In fact, if a match concludes without one fighter having fouled the other to hell and back, each spectator is given a full refund along with a pair of shitty [[China|Everlast]] gloves that he can beat his wife and kids with. | |||
==History== | |||
Boxing was invented in [[Bayeux Tapestry|1066]] when the [[France|French]] [[Rape|invaded England]]. The English, being proper gentlemen, wanted to suck the schlongs of their conquerors; unfortunately for them, most of the Frenchmen were too busy sucking each other's cocks already, so the English had to fight amongst themselves for the few available dicks. | |||
What followed were close to a thousand years of very manly men [[Masturbation|beating]] the shit out of each other with their bare hands. Eventually, as always, some faggot decided to completely ruin the sport by adding a bunch of bullshit rules: | |||
*No kicking | |||
*No grappling | |||
*No biting | |||
*No eye-gouging | |||
*No groin strikes | |||
*No heterosexuals | |||
*[[Aaron Swartz|No breathing]] | |||
Additionally, all fighters were now required to wear leather hand-condoms so that they wouldn't get AIDS while fisting each other inside of the ring. As time went on, the gloves became more and more padded and the fighters started slapping each other with their shit-covered gloves as a joke. Thus, <i>modern</i> boxing was born. | |||
Boxing's popularity soared during the 60s and 70s thanks to the media constantly showcasing how [[niggers]] could beat the [[redneck|white man]]. Once white people started taking boxing seriously and started winning, the media immediately stopped showing it and started complaining that the sport had become weak and devoid of talent. Expect that to reverse once another [[Obama|Great Black Hope]] shows up. | |||
==Famous Has-beens== | ==Famous Has-beens== | ||
===Muhummad Ali=== | |||
Born Cassius Clay, he converted to [[Islam]] and changed his name. Aliaboos regard him as the best boxer of all time, even though his record clearly shows that he wasn't. He also pussied out of [[Vietnam|the draft]] and claimed to be a conscientious objector despite being a boxer and belonging to the religion of suicide bombers; this action led to him becoming a part of the 100% of young black men who end up in prison for nigging. Eventually, he ended up getting Parkinson's disease from getting his ass kicked so much. | |||
===George Foreman=== | |||
George Foreman wasn't a boxer as much as he was a giga-nigga; Instead of looking for a weakness, swarming, tricking, or wearing down his opponent, his style consisted of simply punching the poor SOB so hard that he would fly into next week. While in his prime, his right cross was used as a form of execution: disappointed promoters would bring their failed attempts at rasing the next champions and have Foreman use them as punching bags. | |||
After retiring from boxing for the millionth time, Foreman settled down and became the smiling, cuddly grill salesman who we're all familiar with. | |||
===Sugar Ray Robinson=== | |||
Easily the ACTUAL best boxer of all time, but [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody remembers him]]. | |||
===Mike Tyson=== | ===Mike Tyson=== | ||
Famous enough to have his own article. Bite the ear to read it. | Famous enough to have his own article. Bite the ear to read it. | ||
Line 40: | Line 70: | ||
;The Shadow}} | ;The Shadow}} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
==People who Disapprove of Boxing== | |||
*Doctors | |||
*Leftists | |||
*[[Feminists]] | |||
*Soccer Moms | |||
*MMA fags | |||
*Mike Tyson (no, [http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/boxing/mike-tyson-s-advice-to-aspiring-boxers---go-to-mma-213833350.html seriously]) | |||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
*[[KSI vs Logan Paul]] | |||
*[[Mike Tyson]] | *[[Mike Tyson]] | ||
*[[Wrestling]] | *[[Wrestling]] | ||
<br /><br /> | <br /><br /> | ||
{{sports}} | {{sports}} | ||
[[Category:IRL Shit]] |
Latest revision as of 23:17, 22 August 2024
Boxing is the pussy version of MMA, where you are only allowed to use your hands, and only after covering them in several layers of pillow stuffing.
Boxing further differentiates itself from MMA by being the most corrupt sport in the history of mankind. Tampering with gloves, tampering with judges, tampering with referees, and tampering with your mom are all commonplace. In fact, if a match concludes without one fighter having fouled the other to hell and back, each spectator is given a full refund along with a pair of shitty Everlast gloves that he can beat his wife and kids with.
History
Boxing was invented in 1066 when the French invaded England. The English, being proper gentlemen, wanted to suck the schlongs of their conquerors; unfortunately for them, most of the Frenchmen were too busy sucking each other's cocks already, so the English had to fight amongst themselves for the few available dicks.
What followed were close to a thousand years of very manly men beating the shit out of each other with their bare hands. Eventually, as always, some faggot decided to completely ruin the sport by adding a bunch of bullshit rules:
- No kicking
- No grappling
- No biting
- No eye-gouging
- No groin strikes
- No heterosexuals
- No breathing
Additionally, all fighters were now required to wear leather hand-condoms so that they wouldn't get AIDS while fisting each other inside of the ring. As time went on, the gloves became more and more padded and the fighters started slapping each other with their shit-covered gloves as a joke. Thus, modern boxing was born.
Boxing's popularity soared during the 60s and 70s thanks to the media constantly showcasing how niggers could beat the white man. Once white people started taking boxing seriously and started winning, the media immediately stopped showing it and started complaining that the sport had become weak and devoid of talent. Expect that to reverse once another Great Black Hope shows up.
Famous Has-beens
Muhummad Ali
Born Cassius Clay, he converted to Islam and changed his name. Aliaboos regard him as the best boxer of all time, even though his record clearly shows that he wasn't. He also pussied out of the draft and claimed to be a conscientious objector despite being a boxer and belonging to the religion of suicide bombers; this action led to him becoming a part of the 100% of young black men who end up in prison for nigging. Eventually, he ended up getting Parkinson's disease from getting his ass kicked so much.
George Foreman
George Foreman wasn't a boxer as much as he was a giga-nigga; Instead of looking for a weakness, swarming, tricking, or wearing down his opponent, his style consisted of simply punching the poor SOB so hard that he would fly into next week. While in his prime, his right cross was used as a form of execution: disappointed promoters would bring their failed attempts at rasing the next champions and have Foreman use them as punching bags.
After retiring from boxing for the millionth time, Foreman settled down and became the smiling, cuddly grill salesman who we're all familiar with.
Sugar Ray Robinson
Easily the ACTUAL best boxer of all time, but nobody remembers him.
Mike Tyson
Famous enough to have his own article. Bite the ear to read it.
Manny Pacquiao
Adrien Broner
Female Boxing
Is a joke.
Videos
- The Mullet
Previous Video | Next Video
People who Disapprove of Boxing
See Also
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