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Modern Art: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Decline of Art.jpg|600px|center]] | [[File:Decline of Art.jpg|600px|center]] | ||
'''Modern Art''' is shit [[crap|crapped]] out by [[hipsters|art fags]] like [[Faggot|Daniel Plemmons]] who you can find on [[devianTART|Deviant Art]], and their [[crap|art works]] are full of [[lulz|lulz]] and [[fail|epic fail]]. Often times, the [[emo|artists]] would paint while [[cutting|cutting]] themselves because they know they are talentless posers but yet they still try to convince themselves otherwise. Modern Artists would then try to justify their art work in [[wut|25 page essays]] on [[shit nobody cares about|metaphysics and the meaning of existence]] despite the fact that his work is just [[crap|white paint on white canvas]]. Modern Artists think abstract art and non-representational art are teh shit. But it doesn't matter anyway because the art fags eventually [[suicide|kill themselves]] and [[retard|people who are baffled by modern art]] [[attention whore|worship the paintings just so people wont think they are shallow]]. That is why we have [[comic|comics]] and [[video games|video games]] to replace [[shit|things]] made by [[basement dwellers|them]]. | '''Modern Art''' is shit [[crap|crapped]] out by [[hipsters|art fags]] like [[Faggot|Daniel Plemmons]] who you can find on [[devianTART|Deviant Art]], and their [[crap|art works]] are full of [[lulz|lulz]] and [[fail|epic fail]]. Often times, the [[emo|artists]] would paint while [[cutting|cutting]] themselves because they know they are talentless posers but yet they still try to convince themselves otherwise. Modern Artists would then try to justify their art work in [[wut|25 page essays]] on [[shit nobody cares about|metaphysics and the meaning of existence]] despite the fact that his work is just [[crap|white paint on white canvas]]. Modern Artists think abstract art and non-representational art are teh shit. But it doesn't matter anyway because the art fags eventually [[suicide|kill themselves]] and [[retard|people who are baffled by modern art]] [[attention whore|worship the paintings just so people wont think they are shallow]]. That is why we have [[comic|comics]] and [[video games|video games]] to replace [[shit|things]] made by [[basement dwellers|them]]. | ||
[[Image:04 Isaacs big shit R.jpg|350px|thumb|Modern Art in its purest [[shit|form]].]] | |||
==[[shit nobody cares about|History]]== | ==[[shit nobody cares about|History]]== | ||
[[Image:Jasper Johns, Flag (detail).jpg|200px|thumb|[[too lazy|how hard]] is that to make? [[Moar|MOAR]] CRAP!]] | |||
===The Beginning from [[at least 100 years ago|19th century to early 20th century]]=== | ===The Beginning from [[at least 100 years ago|19th century to early 20th century]]=== | ||
New art styles developed during the late [[at least 100 years ago|19th century]] which tried to [[butthurt|break away]] from the [[gentlemen|traditional styles in Europe]]. Artists like [[emo|Vincent Van Gogh]], a retarded art fag who cut off his ear, pioneered the rise of Modern Art. Of course, styles like Cubism became huge, mainly because [[retard|people thought it was special]] and eventually other [[you|talentless people]] began to [[poser|copy it]]. After a while, people began to [[too lazy|simplify]] the forms to the point that they were abstract and [[wut|no one can tell what the fuck it is]]. Artists like Pablo Picasso pioneered the style of cubism which would eventually influence art fags like Rauschenberg and Jasper Johns of the Abstract Expressionist and Pop Art era. | New art styles developed during the late [[at least 100 years ago|19th century]] which tried to [[butthurt|break away]] from the [[gentlemen|traditional styles in Europe]]. Artists like [[emo|Vincent Van Gogh]], a retarded art fag who cut off his ear, pioneered the rise of Modern Art. Of course, styles like Cubism became huge, mainly because [[retard|people thought it was special]] and eventually other [[you|talentless people]] began to [[poser|copy it]]. After a while, people began to [[too lazy|simplify]] the forms to the point that they were abstract and [[wut|no one can tell what the fuck it is]]. Artists like Pablo Picasso pioneered the style of cubism which would eventually influence art fags like Rauschenberg and Jasper Johns of the Abstract Expressionist and Pop Art era. | ||
===Late 20th century to today=== | ===Late 20th century to today=== | ||
[[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|A huge array of styles]] exploded after [[World War II|WWII]] like Abstract Expressionism, Color Field Painting, Pop Art, Op Art, Minimalist Art, and Post Minimalism, and Photorealism: but they are all the same crap [[amirite|amirite]]? | [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|A huge array of styles]] exploded after [[World War II|WWII]] like Abstract Expressionism, Color Field Painting, Pop Art, Op Art, Minimalist Art, and Post Minimalism, and Photorealism: but they are all the same crap [[amirite|amirite]]? | ||
==Types of Modern Art== | ==Types of Modern Art== | ||
[[Image:Robert Rauschenberg's untitled 'combine', 1963.jpg|230px|thumb|right|looks like someone is [[fail|running out of ideas here]], [[amirite|hmm]]?]] | |||
Over the course of history, there has been many styles of Modern Art, all of which sucks badly. | Over the course of history, there has been many styles of Modern Art, all of which sucks badly. | ||
===Minimalism=== | ===Minimalism=== | ||
'''Minimalism''' is a style of Modern Art where the artist uses the most [[too lazy|simplistic]] shapes, colors, and materials to create [[crap|artwork]] that are so redundantly boring that you feel like you need to gouge your eyeballs out and sear the sockets with a curling iron. [[angst|Angsty]] artists like [[art fag|Mark Rothko]] belonged to this shit genre and eventually killed himself because he got depressed just by looking at his talentless color field paintings. [[common knowledge|Apparently]], he was so [[Verbose Thread|prolific]] that there are [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|over 9000]] of his [[shit|paintings]] worldwide. | '''Minimalism''' is a style of Modern Art where the artist uses the most [[too lazy|simplistic]] shapes, colors, and materials to create [[crap|artwork]] that are so redundantly boring that you feel like you need to gouge your eyeballs out and sear the sockets with a curling iron. [[angst|Angsty]] artists like [[art fag|Mark Rothko]] belonged to this shit genre and eventually killed himself because he got depressed just by looking at his talentless color field paintings. [[common knowledge|Apparently]], he was so [[Verbose Thread|prolific]] that there are [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|over 9000]] of his [[shit|paintings]] worldwide. | ||
===Fauvism=== | ===Fauvism=== | ||
If you could take a [[hippy|hippy]] and tell him to paint something, it would be this, a [[crap|faux-vist]] piece. The colors are so [[drug|LSD]] bright that you feel like all [[homosexual|teh gayness]] of the world is upon you and then you wake up [[butthurt|butthurt]] from the [[rape|day before]]. Henri Matisse, who has been reincarnated as Daniel Plemmons, was the original founder of the style. He [[troll|screwed]] over all the other artists before him just because he [[moralfag|thinks so highly of himself]] and acts as if he the [[Nancy Pelosi|queen bitch of the Louvre]]. | If you could take a [[hippy|hippy]] and tell him to paint something, it would be this, a [[crap|faux-vist]] piece. The colors are so [[drug|LSD]] bright that you feel like all [[homosexual|teh gayness]] of the world is upon you and then you wake up [[butthurt|butthurt]] from the [[rape|day before]]. Henri Matisse, who has been reincarnated as Daniel Plemmons, was the original founder of the style. He [[troll|screwed]] over all the other artists before him just because he [[moralfag|thinks so highly of himself]] and acts as if he the [[Nancy Pelosi|queen bitch of the Louvre]]. | ||
===Expressionism=== | ===Expressionism=== | ||
'''Expressionism''' is art created by [[emo|emos]] because they want to [[wut|distort reality for an emotional effect]] as a [[wut|subjective art form]]. These [[artfag|art fags]] are perhaps the most [[angst|angsty]] [[13 year old boy|13 year old boys]] of the art world. The philospher Nietzche helped define this genre of [[shit nobody cares about|art and literature]], but [[truth|everyone knows]] that only emos, [[liberal|liberal]] [[homosexual|fags]], and [[13 year old boy|13 year old boys]] [[fail|read his books]]. | '''Expressionism''' is art created by [[emo|emos]] because they want to [[wut|distort reality for an emotional effect]] as a [[wut|subjective art form]]. These [[artfag|art fags]] are perhaps the most [[angst|angsty]] [[13 year old boy|13 year old boys]] of the art world. The philospher Nietzche helped define this genre of [[shit nobody cares about|art and literature]], but [[truth|everyone knows]] that only emos, [[liberal|liberal]] [[homosexual|fags]], and [[13 year old boy|13 year old boys]] [[fail|read his books]]. | ||
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This was the first [[The Jewnited States of Americunts|American]] art movement that achieved worldwide influence. Abstract Expressionism was influenced by predecessors like Surrealism and German Expressionism. The term was [[At least 100 years ago|first]] used to describe Wassily Kandinskys paintings, but eventually incorporated "action" painting by Jackson Pollock, and many others. Since the subject matters were abstract and easy for [[Newbie|N00bs]] to learn, it became a safe strategy for [[art fag|art fags]] to strike it rich like a Jew. | This was the first [[The Jewnited States of Americunts|American]] art movement that achieved worldwide influence. Abstract Expressionism was influenced by predecessors like Surrealism and German Expressionism. The term was [[At least 100 years ago|first]] used to describe Wassily Kandinskys paintings, but eventually incorporated "action" painting by Jackson Pollock, and many others. Since the subject matters were abstract and easy for [[Newbie|N00bs]] to learn, it became a safe strategy for [[art fag|art fags]] to strike it rich like a Jew. | ||
==How to Make Modern Art== | ==How to Make Modern Art== | ||
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{{cg|Modern Art||center|<gallery perrow="5"> | {{cg|Modern Art||center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
File:Expensivecrapp.jpg|She did nothing wrong | |||
Image:Modern Art Sucks.jpg|Modern Art [[Fellatio|Sucking]] | Image:Modern Art Sucks.jpg|Modern Art [[Fellatio|Sucking]] | ||
Image:Okeefe Vagina Flowers.jpg|[[cunt|Hmm...looks familiar...]] | Image:Okeefe Vagina Flowers.jpg|[[cunt|Hmm...looks familiar...]] | ||
Image:Malevich shit painting.jpg|Some one's been [[too lazy|lazy]] | Image:Malevich shit painting.jpg|Some one's been [[too lazy|lazy]] | ||
Image:NewCamDrawing.jpg|DO IT ART FAG! | Image:NewCamDrawing.jpg|DO IT ART FAG! | ||
Image:Wtf art???.jpg | Image:Wtf art???.jpg|[[Forced Meme|4deep8me]] | ||
Image:Marcel-duchamp.jpg|Feast your eyes upon this visage, note how the black and white filter exemplifies our societies conservative nature yet the shit stain on the edge of the bowl represents our wasteful and lax tendencies. | |||
Image:Robert Rauschenberg's 'Canyon', 1959.jpg|[[wut|Is that a bird hanging from the painting?!?!?!]] | |||
Image:Eye Opener.jpg|Now that's eye opening art for [[emo|emos]]. | |||
Image:001 ThePhysicalImpossibilityOfDeath.jpg|[[wtf|WTF]] a [[lulz|shark in a tank]] is [[crap|art]]? | |||
</Gallery> | </Gallery> | ||
|}} | |}} | ||
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==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
[[Image:Reclining nude.jpg|thumb|right|300px|lol and [[you|you]] thought that you can't draw]] | |||
*[[Avant-garde]] | *[[Avant-garde]] | ||
*[[Art School]] | *[[Art School]] | ||
Line 93: | Line 98: | ||
*[[Trying Too Hard]] | *[[Trying Too Hard]] | ||
*[[Vagina Bike]] | *[[Vagina Bike]] | ||
{{indie}} | {{indie}} |
Latest revision as of 17:00, 19 December 2017
Modern Art is shit crapped out by art fags like Daniel Plemmons who you can find on Deviant Art, and their art works are full of lulz and epic fail. Often times, the artists would paint while cutting themselves because they know they are talentless posers but yet they still try to convince themselves otherwise. Modern Artists would then try to justify their art work in 25 page essays on metaphysics and the meaning of existence despite the fact that his work is just white paint on white canvas. Modern Artists think abstract art and non-representational art are teh shit. But it doesn't matter anyway because the art fags eventually kill themselves and people who are baffled by modern art worship the paintings just so people wont think they are shallow. That is why we have comics and video games to replace things made by them.
History
The Beginning from 19th century to early 20th century
New art styles developed during the late 19th century which tried to break away from the traditional styles in Europe. Artists like Vincent Van Gogh, a retarded art fag who cut off his ear, pioneered the rise of Modern Art. Of course, styles like Cubism became huge, mainly because people thought it was special and eventually other talentless people began to copy it. After a while, people began to simplify the forms to the point that they were abstract and no one can tell what the fuck it is. Artists like Pablo Picasso pioneered the style of cubism which would eventually influence art fags like Rauschenberg and Jasper Johns of the Abstract Expressionist and Pop Art era.
Late 20th century to today
A huge array of styles exploded after WWII like Abstract Expressionism, Color Field Painting, Pop Art, Op Art, Minimalist Art, and Post Minimalism, and Photorealism: but they are all the same crap amirite?
Types of Modern Art
Over the course of history, there has been many styles of Modern Art, all of which sucks badly.
Minimalism
Minimalism is a style of Modern Art where the artist uses the most simplistic shapes, colors, and materials to create artwork that are so redundantly boring that you feel like you need to gouge your eyeballs out and sear the sockets with a curling iron. Angsty artists like Mark Rothko belonged to this shit genre and eventually killed himself because he got depressed just by looking at his talentless color field paintings. Apparently, he was so prolific that there are over 9000 of his paintings worldwide.
Fauvism
If you could take a hippy and tell him to paint something, it would be this, a faux-vist piece. The colors are so LSD bright that you feel like all teh gayness of the world is upon you and then you wake up butthurt from the day before. Henri Matisse, who has been reincarnated as Daniel Plemmons, was the original founder of the style. He screwed over all the other artists before him just because he thinks so highly of himself and acts as if he the queen bitch of the Louvre.
Expressionism
Expressionism is art created by emos because they want to distort reality for an emotional effect as a subjective art form. These art fags are perhaps the most angsty 13 year old boys of the art world. The philospher Nietzche helped define this genre of art and literature, but everyone knows that only emos, liberal fags, and 13 year old boys read his books.
Abstract Expressionism
This was the first American art movement that achieved worldwide influence. Abstract Expressionism was influenced by predecessors like Surrealism and German Expressionism. The term was first used to describe Wassily Kandinskys paintings, but eventually incorporated "action" painting by Jackson Pollock, and many others. Since the subject matters were abstract and easy for N00bs to learn, it became a safe strategy for art fags to strike it rich like a Jew.
How to Make Modern Art
There are Many formulas for making modern art, but that's all good cuz dat just adds moar lulz.
The Emo Way
Perhaps the more common type of Modern Art among high school students, especially the fat 16-year old attention whores.
- Get a white canvas
- Take a razor and place it against your wrist
- Do it faggot
- ????
- Profit
Philosophical
Shit is Crap just like how Crap is Shit; except in this case Modern Art is interchangeable with either one of the w3rds.
- Get something strange to paint on
- Pull Down Pants
- ????
- Profit
Galleries
-
She did nothing wrong
-
Modern Art Sucking
-
Some one's been lazy
-
DO IT ART FAG!
-
Feast your eyes upon this visage, note how the black and white filter exemplifies our societies conservative nature yet the shit stain on the edge of the bowl represents our wasteful and lax tendencies.
-
Now that's eye opening art for emos.
See Also
- Avant-garde
- Art School
- Attention Whore
- Hipster
- Indie
- Menstrual Painting
- Shitty Art
- Spaghettios
- Trying Too Hard
- Vagina Bike
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