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Angela Merkel: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Angela merkel vr.jpg|thumb|right|Europe extends a welcoming hand to refugees]] | [[File:Angela merkel vr.jpg|thumb|right|Europe extends a welcoming hand to refugees]] | ||
'''Angela Dorothea Merkel''' (* 17. Juli 1954) is the 8th Führerin und Reichskanzlerin of the Sausagepeople, a former Commie, | '''Angela Dorothea Merkel''' (* 17. Juli 1954) is the 8th Führerin und Reichskanzlerin of the Sausagepeople, a former [[Commie]], Germany's [[Hillary Clinton]] and, as [[Nostradamus]] predicted [[at least 100|some centuries ago]], the great King of Terror who will bring forth the End-times, the seven days of fire, and the rise of Muslim cock all over Europe. | ||
==Humble beginnings== | ==Humble beginnings== | ||
[[Image:MerkelNude.jpg|thumb|right|Merkel and Bush]] | [[Image:MerkelNude.jpg|thumb|right|Merkel and Bush]] | ||
Angela Merkel was found and brought up by feral | Angela Merkel was found and brought up by feral Communists in Eastern Germany, after Hitler's Reich was buttfucked in half by a massive Soviet cock. After schooling where she learned to praise St.Marx and eat with Hammer and Sickel, Angie decided to study physics, and build nukes to blow up the filthy, capitalist pigs, but in 1989 Mikhail Gorbachev rage-quit'd the preparations for WWIII and Germany was reunited again; finally ready to enjoy massive 'Murican cock. | ||
==Rise to power== | ==Rise to power== | ||
Back in the early | Back in the early '90s Bundeskanzler Dr. Helmut Kohl of the CDU (Colossal Dicks United) decided that he would need someone who could wipe his ass since, at this point in time, he was unable to reach it without help. Kohl hired Angela Merkel, who somehow stuck between his fat folds during a visit in the GDR, and gave her a couple of well-paying jobs in the government as compensation, things like secretary for wimmins and youth, and secretary for the environment. Later she took over the party, changed to her final form and became ruler of the motherland in 2005. | ||
==For what she will be remembered== | ==For what she will be remembered== | ||
{{main|Rapefugees}} | {{main|Rapefugees}} | ||
In 2015 Angie decided to do the most sane thing possible and open the borders for 1 | In 2015 Angie decided to do the most sane thing possible and open the borders for 1.5 million radical, aggressive, pussy carving, uneducated, smelly Muslims from all over the planet. This decision made a few people considerably nervous, but fuck them - they're all Nazis anyway. | ||
{{quote|I | {{quote|I don't care if the refugee inflow is my fault, now they are here.|Angela Merkel giving a fuck}} | ||
After | After the shit finally hit the fan and the Muslims started doing what Muslims do best (kill, maim, rape and complain,) Merkel was stunned by the lack of cooperation by her fellow Germans; Merkel decided to act and told everyone to shut the fuck up and hold still while the Muzzies penetrated them. This policy could be summarized with the three words: "Wir schaffen das!" (which means "[[Your resistance only makes my penis harder]]" in German). To prevent the stop of Muslim invaders to Germany, Merkel went to Turkey, put on a head scarf and sucked Erdogan's cock, broke German law, and lied to the people, something she learned in the GDR except for the cock which was russian and had a Lenin tattoo. | ||
At the very moment the situation is speeding toward | At the very moment the situation is speeding toward a Civil War and it is very likely that Angie will not be able to escape to Argentina like [[Hitler|her idol]], but rather will become the first chancellor to end up hanging from a lantern next to a bunch of Muslim rapists. | ||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
Latest revision as of 15:55, 16 January 2022
Angela Dorothea Merkel (* 17. Juli 1954) is the 8th Führerin und Reichskanzlerin of the Sausagepeople, a former Commie, Germany's Hillary Clinton and, as Nostradamus predicted some centuries ago, the great King of Terror who will bring forth the End-times, the seven days of fire, and the rise of Muslim cock all over Europe.
Humble beginnings
Angela Merkel was found and brought up by feral Communists in Eastern Germany, after Hitler's Reich was buttfucked in half by a massive Soviet cock. After schooling where she learned to praise St.Marx and eat with Hammer and Sickel, Angie decided to study physics, and build nukes to blow up the filthy, capitalist pigs, but in 1989 Mikhail Gorbachev rage-quit'd the preparations for WWIII and Germany was reunited again; finally ready to enjoy massive 'Murican cock.
Rise to power
Back in the early '90s Bundeskanzler Dr. Helmut Kohl of the CDU (Colossal Dicks United) decided that he would need someone who could wipe his ass since, at this point in time, he was unable to reach it without help. Kohl hired Angela Merkel, who somehow stuck between his fat folds during a visit in the GDR, and gave her a couple of well-paying jobs in the government as compensation, things like secretary for wimmins and youth, and secretary for the environment. Later she took over the party, changed to her final form and became ruler of the motherland in 2005.
For what she will be remembered
Moar info: Rapefugees.
In 2015 Angie decided to do the most sane thing possible and open the borders for 1.5 million radical, aggressive, pussy carving, uneducated, smelly Muslims from all over the planet. This decision made a few people considerably nervous, but fuck them - they're all Nazis anyway.
—Angela Merkel giving a fuck | ||
After the shit finally hit the fan and the Muslims started doing what Muslims do best (kill, maim, rape and complain,) Merkel was stunned by the lack of cooperation by her fellow Germans; Merkel decided to act and told everyone to shut the fuck up and hold still while the Muzzies penetrated them. This policy could be summarized with the three words: "Wir schaffen das!" (which means "Your resistance only makes my penis harder" in German). To prevent the stop of Muslim invaders to Germany, Merkel went to Turkey, put on a head scarf and sucked Erdogan's cock, broke German law, and lied to the people, something she learned in the GDR except for the cock which was russian and had a Lenin tattoo. At the very moment the situation is speeding toward a Civil War and it is very likely that Angie will not be able to escape to Argentina like her idol, but rather will become the first chancellor to end up hanging from a lantern next to a bunch of Muslim rapists.
Gallery
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Merkel and Erdogan discussing -
Adolf Merkel -
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European Rapefugee crisis -
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