User:Oblique/Schapelle Corby

Schapelle Corby is an Australian drug smuggler and professional attention whore formerly residing in an Indonesian jail. Arrested in a Balinese airport in October 2004, after being found carrying over 9 pounds of weed in her bags. Due to the nature of Balinese drug smuggling laws, the firing squad and life imprisonment are common punishments for such crimes. Far be it for me to call this woman, stupid, but she can't say she didn't see her time in jail coming.

She was however not executed or given life without parole and instead given 20 years in a shit Balinese jail for profusely whining like a little bitch throughout the entire trial and well into her prison term. In addition the Australian government dedicated at least 100 hours to getting her sent home, because we all know how important she is. Every week, has seen her receive reduced sentences, to celebrate Indonesian Holidays and because of her depression.

Hundreds of brain dead Australians have flocked to the internet and IRL protests, demanding the Indonesian government release an Australian hero from their prison because she is INNOCENT. Meanwhile, the few Australians with half a brain have tried their best to ignore this attention whore, and move on with their lives.

2014, parole?

I can haz moniez?

An Australian news corperation has paid Schapelle over $2 million for an exclusive interview about her ordeal, only to have their own staff slam the decision on live TV.

She is unable to come back to Australia with her money, as the government would take it off her immediately.

Quotes

At least 100 Facebook pages have been created to condemn the attention whore for exactly what she is since her release, which has since become a haven for trolls and white knights to endlessly flame about whether she got justice or not, providing hours of entertainment to readers in the form of the most poorly written sentences ever to defile the internet.

	“	Take down this page she is not guilty she got set up and it wat not her falt mate	„
	—Butthurt

	“	Putrid scum she got caught with weed and she done her time worry bout the real crimes like kiddy fiddlers and shit yea she fucked up so what she paid the ultimate price	„
	—Typical bogan demonstrating their extensive knowledge of Indonesian law

	“	You fukin idiots! She's innocent now leave her alone!!!	„
	—I'm getting déjà vu

	“	ignorant fuckwits youve been brainwashed by the media and fabricated lies. no one in their right mind would smuggle 3.5 kgs of weed into Indonesia in an open boogie board bag.. it was put there by baggage handlers not her.. get your facts straight haters	„
	—Even more butthurt

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