Whirled
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Whirled looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
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Whirled is an original game that is nothing like Second Life where users can upload and sell their own avatars created in flash and sell them in the in game store, this was meant to express creativity but all you see is people recoloring over other avatars and selling it for more than the original was. Of course, players can also buy furniture for their rooms, but nobody cares about that. All players either play as the Pokemon Lucario, something from Naruto, a Kawaii, or something free in the shop, since they are too lazy to play games to make any of the game's currency. Whirled is full of newfags and jailbait. The rare females of this place are proven to cause fights over dumb situations, suck up to the low life boys of the godforsakened website, announce that they are LEAVING FOREVER but come back an hour later. (This may also apply to the boys, as well) Snot nose brats who play Whirled have stupid tendencies to abusively add alt codes to their names. It is a well known fact that Whirled is played by twelve year olds who suffer from down's syndrome, have ADHD, are emo. Chain commenting, 1337, furries, and pedophiles are pretty much the only things you'll see in Whirled.
The Store
Whirled allows players to sell furniture, avatars, dildos, and backdrops made in Adobe Flash, Photoshop, Gimp and like programs. Avatars can be coded as .swf's that players can play as to express their "originality" by playing as someone else's creation. Noobs ignore this, and upload pictures of their favorite Pokemon or television show character and sell them for ungodly prices. This doesn't stop them from complaining about even the cheapest of prices. Why pay a lot when you can just bug the creator to lower the price?
Many players scream "Deat 2 Statikz" and other similar badly spelled and grammatically challenged messages to players who use avatars that are not .swf's. This has caused childish wars to break out like the plague where players will purposely choose avatars that cause lag to annoy other players, these lagging avatars mainly contain a video that are old jokes that no one uses anymore.
Currency
When pricing an object, the creator has the choice to sell it in coins or bars. When selling in coins, the creator gets virtual money when someone buys. When priced in bars, the creator receives Bling which can be cashed out for money IRL whenever an item sells. One bar is equal to at least one bling which is worth nine cents. The creator only receives 30% of earnings, though, meaning for every bar's worth they sell they get three cents. In over 9,000 weeks, the creator will have made at least 100 cents.
How to Win
Unlike Second Life, there is a scoring system in Whirled.
- 1. Join.
- 2. Upload a picture of your moms penis
- 3. Go in a heavily populated room and fuck everyone in the ass.
Bonus Points: Use a piece of CP as an avatar in a heavily populated area and time how long it takes to get banned.
- 4. Once banned create an alt and repeat steps 2 & 3.
devianTARDs
In hope of winning a new MacBook, flocks of Deviant artists joined whirled after devianTART started a contest to create the coolest room. This contest made furniture important, and thus the furniture market prospered, at the price of retards running all over Whirled with ripped Kawaii furniture up their ass.
People who play Whirled are a rejected breed of a homosexuals who are forced to dwell in the far corners of the internetz in a shit hole well known as whirled.com
How to know if someone you know is using Whirled
1. They are a 13 year old boy
2. They are obsessed with Kawaii
3. They have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every 5 minutes
4. They rush home to participate in an internet war
5. They know a 13 year old boy
6. They know every word to the Caramel Dansen
7. They are obsessed with Moogles
8. They are azn
9. They talk about Whirled like it is important and act like people care about what they have to say
10. They are extremely ugly and/or obese
11. They are a furry
12. They pee on the bathroom stool
True fans of Whirled can simply live off of wars for weeks at a time. Wars are not based on actual game skill its more of a game of who is the biggest bullshitter with the gayest avatar, almost like those games you played when you were a kid with your friends and you always made up a new power that made you win every 5 seconds...oh did I say almost I meant exactly.
Trolling
- Upload video avatars that create uber lag and wear it in an overpopulated room
- Leave a comment on someone's profile pointing out that the pictures of them are ugly/fake/fat
- Create a sockpuppet army and rate down items/comments in the shop
- Create a sockpuppet army and troll group forums
- Troll group chats
- Lock room then broadcast an omega kawaii giveaway linked to your room
- Draw cocks and naked women in Scribble
- Spam porno in the shop
- Encourage player to leave Whirled when they threaten to
- Post links to Lemon Party and other shocker sites such as Offended
- Flood the chat
- Say that kawaiis are retarded
- Sexually abuse the Agents/Moderators
- Buy webcam avatar, wear it, then masterbate in overpopulated rooms
- Rip kawaiis and list them (because nobody gives a shit about something ripped if it isn't a rare kawaii)
- Upload a kawaii (preferably ripped), list in shop for 666 bars, magic buy it 9999x, mark it as hidden, broadcast free kawaii giveaway, give 9999x away (keep original), then later replace kawaii with pr0nz (cake works too)
People you should totally troll and probably hack
- Aduros The bringer of destruction, chaos, and bugs on Whirled. He curses us with his many fail updates and upon doing so proceeds to piss in our eyes. Kill him if you get the chance.
- Micaroni Racist faggot who uses slurs to cover up his desire to have his delicate anus penetrated many times. Thinks he's a gangster and has hella loads of swag.
- King Fagsto
Big-time son of a bitch prick that's an head Admin of Trading Place. Made of pure Bullshit.Tryhard who added his own name to this list. He's also into every young child he befriends and loves loves hugs, so look out girls (AND BOYS AS WELL)! - Khree Obvious necrophile. Can't make anything without a satanic message attached to it. Want to request a custom? Make sure it has something to do with skulls... No coins/bars needed for payment, just let her have sexual intercourse with it and you'll get your custom!
- xXxXxXxXянуfмιcXxXxXxXx
EmoGothic attention whore who has quit Whirled at least 300 times by now - Mr. Faggoo This newfag thinks that he is a moderator for whirled. It's ironic, as he can't follow the ToS anyway. He is an underage ban.
- Naozumie He thinks he's better than everyone else even though he's the biggest ripper, tracer and tryhard on the damn site. Prove him wrong.
- Forte Famous avatar maker who preforms sticking dick up her pokébutt for money. Also has enough USI to cover the unchilled tits of all of her dick riders.
- Shadowfag. Gets mad at anyone who critiques her lovely horse avatars (LOOK OUT THEY HAVE PENISES), as well as anyone who critiques Forte's avatars.
- Wannabe transvestite who desires to chop it's balls off using it's father's rusty pliers, so it can then scissor with it's mother, and it's massive collection of video games.
- The white knight of obese women this autistic boy wants to defend obese women on the internet so he can get online pussy currently he's dating a sumo sized babe who is 15. what a pedophile, huh?
- Emo Pony Lover Another of Forte's whiny emo faggot warriors. Bitches if you hate ponies, or any of Forte's avatards. Also is a huge slut.
Also worth noting are these fucks who thought writing yourself into an article was a good idea. Anybody who provides screenshots of trolling them or hacking their accounts will have them immortalized below. Also, please add links to their profile here.
- Gorlock (Pokéfag Zangoose) A fat fucking furry Pokemon with a copyrighted violation that Whirled doesn't care about. Make sure to bring up the fact that he fucks imaginary animals and only the most extremist autists stil care about Pokemon.
- GTrav (Pyromania) A huge TF2 fucktard that seems to have a big enough case of USI to cover the whole community!
- Teioh (Team Noble Six) Some loser who's been no lifing the game for 5 years and is still stupid enough to think people care about his video game adiction.
- Manhood (Scootus) Fuckin gaylord who stole my heart <3
- Fint (Fint) The one true faggot
History of Whirled Wars
Whirled used to be a peaceful place of dwelling with the occasional troll until one day some (fake) financial genius Dethbate decided to use the popular Thing Thing games and make Thing Thing avatars. Soon enough he had been the first person except for that fag that made moogle avatars to make millions of coins (because bars are fucking retarded pay-to-play crap on a free site). He had a legion of over 9000 mindless followers with loads of coins willing to suck his balls off for free Thing Thing avatars, which he didn't give out, cause he was a greedy fucktard. At the peak of his sales he decided to make a group called Thing Army which was a plague of over 9000 12 year old boys who harassed and begged group moderators for free avatars or a promotion. When the 12 year old boys did not receive promotions they were threatened to either leave, cry, or make a group that hated Thing Army...but still begged for free avatars.
When they still did not receive free avatars they would find a way into the Thing Army rooms and molest their cap locks button and type their little hearts out. They soon realized that did not work because people had the ability to mute them. The 12 year olds then became butt hurt and started working for money either by playing lolcaptions and made every caption "that's what she said" or "your mom" in order to appeal to their peers making them rich so that they could now afford Thing Thing avatars.
With avatars gained, they now came into Thing Army rooms and began pretending to shoot members and acting like they were spying on Thing Army and knew about their secret plans. This sparked an idea in Dethbates head to go to war with his butt hurt 12 year olds only for personal gain. Dethbate made a new rule that you could only participate in war if you had a certain Thing Army avatar which made him make even more money. Wars started in public places and usually lasted over 9000 hours until one of the 12 year olds had to get off because it was their bedtime. Wars annoyed the rest of the whirled but Dethbate chose not to stop them until he himself was annoyed with them because he was no longer making money so he quit Thing Army. Upon quitting, he left Thing Army to someone who had really been running it the whole time while he had been fapping to the amount of money he made.
Later, Dethbate repeated his scheme, refreshing the look of the avatars he made to resemble the actual Thing Thing Games rather than shitty knockoffs, creating another group and using the hundreds of new followers to gain exorbiant amounts of coins with little to no effort, which was generally pointless as the fags that run whirled decided that anything listed in a bars price could only be bought by butthurt 12 year olds who begged their parent for over 9000 dollars in whirled moneys. Dethbate probably made more money for claiming to be fighting the establishment by listing his creations for low amounts of coins.
--Historyas important as your life.--
Then some genius named Naozumie thought "Hey, if I make a kawaii with guns, everyone will love me and buy it!" And they did.
He then created a group called "Assassins of Faith" which everyone that was cool joined.
To this day, Whirled is still overrun by pretty cool guys wearing their (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧kawaii avatars. They have won the final war and Whirled is presently a great place full of significance.
Whirled through the eyes of the normal player
Dear Diary,
Today on whirled I made a bunch of Statics mad, but they're pedofiles anyway. I played tetris, I got 227 coins after just one hour! Maybe I can get that Kawaii emo avatar now!
Anyway, I gotta go eat 5 buckets of KFC.
Bye diary!
Whirled through the eyes of a Static
todsy i was tking wit my bf, and he told me that he was cheastingsd on me wit 4 gurls! but i went to superdoll.com and made a hot avatar. dsfafgtrhtwgerwt352323545rgdfvsdacasdcsadcsdcsdaffdgdfgrghgfbfdfsvscsadsqwre2e144356567hgtbbsdbvdfvsdafert45rt65436567577878 iz my avatar sexee?
Whirled through the eyes of Anonymous
LOLOLOLOLNo.
Kawaii
Originated when some fag who joined Whirled, under the name of Cherub, made an uber shitty avatar for Kawaiitards.
When it became popular, a bunch of weeaboos who suck at everything started making recolors non-stop.
Now in every place you go, there's a 99.666% chance you'll see a
fucking Kawaii avatar if it's not a group of furries or pokemon fags.
If you are extremely unlucky, the kawaii will be stupidly adorned with retarded furry/pokefag costumes.
Either way you still have to see's those pieces of shit.
Thankfully the base can no longer be found on Whirled, and the popularity decreased a bit by 0.01%.
You can still find the base on sharing sites as 4shared or 2shared.
Players on Whirled constantly want bars for kawaiis. Due to the fact that they are ten years old and are too retarded or fat to get a job, it is not uncommon for them to sell themselves to a pedobear, who claims to be fifteen years old, in order to obtain their sweet, sweet bars. They also will beg the holy fuck out of you if they find out you have bars.
Example:
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™:-opens private chat- H4Y d0 U g0T B4R5 I F0UnD3D 7H1S K3\/\/L KW11 AnD I w4N7 I7!1!
—¢£ƒ¤°Snagglepuss°¤¥€¢:-looks into the top right corner of their screen to see they have 69 bars- no sorry i just used my last ones to buy a 15 bar naruto kawaii http://www.whirled.com/shop#80085/
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: B4Ww UR L1E1Ng 2 M3 PlZ I r3LlY w4n7 I7 Bc 1T5 S0 K3Wl http://www.whirled.com/shop#1337/
—¢£ƒ¤°Snagglepuss°¤¥€¢: that avatar is a piece of shit it is a non-animated, bad cut-out of a kawaii not to mention you are the one who made it
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: N0 I7S n0T GTFO 0R I RH4P3 U /\/IGG3R!!!11!!1
—¢£ƒ¤°Snagglepuss°¤¥€¢: OMG STFU U STOPID N@@B IM TRYING 2 MAKE TRACED FURRY KAWAIIS IN MY PIRATED VERSION OF CS3 AT THE MOMENT YOU GAY FUCKTARD -closes chat-
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: -reopens chat- 1F U D0N'T 8Y M3 TH4T 4V1 TH3N 1 W1LL R3P0RT U!!!111!
—¢£ƒ¤°Snagglepuss°¤¥€¢: FUKK U U CANT REPORT ME I AM G@D
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: HAHAHAHA R3PORT
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: R3PORT
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: R3PORT
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: R3PORT
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: R3PORT
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: N0W U g0Nn4 G3T b4N/\/3D 4EVR +.-010101010101! *)"$%)$PLL%P$£IO)I£IRUTUO$U$()*%%))^&&345"%3:!!!!11111!!!!1!1!1.!1!!!11!11!!
2 Days Later.
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: -receives a message upon logging onto profile-
Message: Your account has been perma-banned due to the following reason(s): Evasion of filter. Repetitive reporting.
—†ŠØRÁ¡ß© ™: WTF H0W I G0NN4 K33P 1N C0NT4CT W1F M4 0NL1N3 GF N0W!111!!!111!! ((£I")NX£OI£éOEF$O££:!@@#$%^&*(!! T1M3 T0 M4K3 20 M0R 4CC0UNT5!!!!11!!11!11!11111!!!!!1
See Also
Not To Be Confused With
External Links
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