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The Shadow
Robert M. Cassidy, aka The Shadow, The Saddo, "that Geordie faggot" and "oh just fuck off already, won't you" is an aspie dramafag, notorious sufferer of borderline personality disorder, former member of Anonymous and now full-time harasser of anyone involved in the upcoming Ghostbusters all-slut reboot movie. And a cunt.
In the beginning
He first made a name for himself on WWP as a sad paranoid fuck who was convinced that there was a massive mod conspiracy against him because all his blatant attempts to leaderfag Chanology failed epically. Other anons resented this egofaggotry, and trolled the merry fuck out of him on little known British homosexual imageboard britfa.gs, causing him to raaaaage. Logically, he blamed a massive mod conspiracy, and attempted to troll Why We Protest and its users by name/facefagging other anons, pretty much the only crime on WWP still punishable by the death penalty. Unsurprisingly, he got b& because Mods have feelings too, causing the other users of the site to pretty much recognise him for the crazy freak that he was. However, a little thing like public humiliation wasn't going to deter him, and so he created over 9000 sock accounts as a form of impotent revenge. Unfortunately, because most of them contained the word "Shadow" in some form or another, it wasn't exactly hard for Sue and co. to spot who the frickin' genius behind it all was, and all the socks were promptly banned as well.
Teh Saddo had his revenge though!!!!1111eleventyone! He showed them by spending literally days at his computer tagging threads on WWP with his own handle. Being a freaky aspie, yet at the same time lacking the 1337 skills to write even the most basic of scripts to automate the process, dear Rob spent the best part of a week (by his own admission), manually going through almost every thread on WWP and adding the tags one-by-one. Quite why the mods didn't spot this as it was happening is anyone's guess, but the general consensus is that they, along with the rest of the forum users, were too busy pissing themselves laughing at Shadow's utter lack of perspective (or a life, amirite?).
The Life and 'Loves' of The Shadow
Amazingly, though all of this, Rob had managed to hold down an IRL relationship with an actual girl, although, displaying an uncharacteristic wisdom, he managed to keep her well away from Anonymous, only allowing certain tidbits of information to slip out, such as the time he earned his brown wings by pounding her in the shitter and then washing his cawk in the sink. It is widely speculated that their favourite sex game involved her dressing up as Peter Venkman and exclaiming "He slimed me, Ray" as Shadow sent his sticky messages of love streaming across her face. However, eventually she realised that she could have a far better time with someone who didn't regard Captain Kirk as a fashion icon, and promptly kicked his arse to the kerb.
Next, Saddo developed an obsession with Loldon protest cumdumpster Namenlos, despite them barely ever spending any time together, her thinking he was a bit of a sad git (on account of him being a grown man who plays with Sylvester McCoy dolls), and the closest them ever coming to having any physical contact being a reluctant squeeze or two on London raids like the serial rapist that he is. Nonetheless, this didn't stop him suffering from intense butthurt when she started a relationship with a man who didn't spend raids and social gatherings sulking in a corner for attention and wasn't the world's saddest cosplayer, and so Saddo indulged himself in a BAWWWWfest of hitherto unknown proportions. Rumour has it that this fit of depression left him unable to complete work on his full-scale TARDIS (moar like RETARDIS, amirite) replica; all we know is that coupled with the pent-up rage he was still nursing from everyone else in Chanology, and his latest ban for perpetuating the same drama and faggotry as he had before, Saddo threw his toys out of the pram yet again and ragequit Anon, posting this video (text below). Not too long after, he also posted a message on his Facebook wall, stating that he would be "removing all members of a certain mask-wearing group" from his friends list within 24 hours, which he promptly did. OH NOES!
Epic ragequit text (WARNING: Massive tl;dr follows)
—The Shadow, ragequitting Anon for the 9001st time in typical tl;dr fashion | ||
Recent lulz
Some speculate that bucktoothed inbred mongo-fuck Bluebell may be the latest target of his affections, but frankly the very thought of those two together would be enough to turn the stomach of even the most gore-thread-hardened /b/tard. Anyway, when this repulsive cunt managed to get itself banned from WWP for being, well, basically a repulsive cunt, Shadow's white knight instinct kicked in, and soon he was up to his old tricks again, locking himself in his room with only his blu-ray copy of Ghostbusters II and his sonic screwdriver for company, and after a mere over 9000 hours of frantic keyboard hammering, he'd once again stuck it to the man by editing WWP's most popular tags list to feature the phrases "Heretic = fat cunt" and "Heretic = cancer". All of which was very impressive and a complete waste of time as the mods, being actually able to work a computer with a degree of competence, simply removed the offending tags in a matter of a couple of hours.
Just last Thursday, it was Shadow's 26th birthday, and so he posted the following message on the britf.gs/emo board:
Because /emo/ lives up to its name, and is a home for faggot-ass Brits to indulge each other's blatant attention whoring, he actually received a degree of sympathy for his whiny BAWWWWfest, although a couple of posters, recognising his particular brand of fail for what it was, suggested he either an hero or start acting like a 26 year old man instead of a pre-pubescent no-life. We wait to see what the next chapter of the exciting drama that is his life holds in store.
Noncing it up in East Anglia
It's always good to check in on our old chums from time to time to see how they've been doing. And FUCK ME, Robert M. Cassidy is not one to disappoint. At some point in the past five years, he exchanged the shithole of Tyneside for the shithole of Lowestoft, a miserable cunt of a town that not even a mother could love (just like Rob, amirite?). Since he had basically no mates in either, it didn't make much difference to him, but he soon made a friend. Displaying his classic instinct for excellent character judgement, it seems Rob befriended a convicted sex offender (NO, REALLY) who runs the local geekfag shop, where he got a job, giving him access to all the children's toys and fat girls he could ever wish for. It was around this time he decided to take steps to redress the lack of female interest in his life by dressing up as Lara Croft, so he'd at least have someone to wank over who wouldn't be likely to vomit at the mere thought of him. At the time of writing, the shop "Dawn of Time" (possibly named after an eight year old as in 'that fucking bunch of nonces have been up at the crack of Dawn') appears to be closed, giving Rob moar time to sitn on the internet and complain about the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot. Which brings us to...
Who you gonna harrass?
Rob likes Ghostbusters. No, Rob LOVES Ghostbusters. To a frankly fucking disturbing level. Possibly because he can directly relate to the quote "This man has no dick", or maybe because Sigourney Weaver turning into a dog appeals to his twin fetishes of misogyny and bestiality. Anyway, the announcement of Paul Feig's 2016 new Ghostbusters movie with an all-female cast finally pushed his insanity and rage to over 9000, leading Rob to wage a one-man faggot war against the cast, director, crew and anyone supporting the movie. Over the course of several months (and at the time of writing, still ongoing), he waged his INTERNET WARRIOR CAMPAIGN on Twitter, firing off hundreds of tweets to Paul Feig and the cast of the movie. Despite most of his shitty tweets containing seriously nasty misogynistic slurs (probably due to Rob's fantastic relationship with his loving mum), rob is DEFINITELY NOT A MISOGYNIST, mostly because he says so, and anyway, "misogynist" is just a word used by SJWs and Feminazis. Of course the fact that Rob is utterly repulsive to the female sex on both a mental and physical level has nothing to do with it, I'm sure.
Anyhoo, the pinnacle of Cassidy's screaming into the void came when Feig, finally sick of receiving endless abuse towards himself, his movie and his entire cast, finally snapped as any reasonable person would, and told Rob to go and fuck himself (which is a good point, as no-one else is likely to fuck him). Cassidy immediately claimed this as a win, crowing that he'd driven Feig to breaking point; although quite how spending your entire fucking life complaining about a movie on the internet until someone vastly smarter and more successful than you'll ever be tells you to fuck off is a "win", we're not sure. But hey, you hang out with your nonce pals in Lowestoft (I mean, fucking Lowestoft, really?) and keep playing with your toys Rob (sorry, 'action figures' XD ) and Paul Feig can carry on making millions of bucks, living in Hollywood and getting financed to realise his creative and artistic dreams. We all know who the real winner is, amirite?
Doctor Who the fuck let a woman in the TARDIS?
Another piece of the Saddo's world came crashing noisily down on the 16th July 2017, when it was announced that Jodie Whittaker would be playing the role of the 13th Doctor Who. IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? MY GOD MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME? Cassidy was very, very upset about this, although it's very important to point out that it was definitely NOT because she is a woman. Of course not! That would be sexist! No, you see, the real reason is because the Doctor is a MAN. Not the same thing at all. No, Rob is definitely, absolutely and unequivocally NOT a sexist, no matter what any of those pea-brained cunt bitch feminazis might say.
The Twitter banhammer falls
Sometime last tuesday, it seems Rob's relentless misogynistic abuse of MP Jess Phillips (or maybe it was the still ongoing occasional harassment of Paul Feig after 2 years, or just the fact that he's an irredeemable bell end) finally gained the attention of the Twitter illuminati, as the banhammer came crashing down upon his angry misshapen head. As of yet, Rob has failed to resurface on Twitter (unlike his pedo mate), so watch this space for updates when he's finished wanking and crying over his Airwolf VHS tapes.
External Links
- Saddo’s JewTube channel
- His other JewTube channel
- His facebook (complete with nerdfap profile pic of some piece of Trek, Dr Who or Ghostbusters related imaginary technology )
- DeviantART page (mostly deleted nao)
Twitter feed (replete with epic lulz due to GB3 BAWWWWWWFEST)BANHAMMERED- His new Twitter But how long until he's enough of a cunt to get this one banned too?
- WWP profile (now unbanned, apparently)
- Where he works (for his pedo boss)
See Also
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The Shadow is part of a series on Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage. |