Shahn Christian Andersen

At least five EDiots have been "named" as defendants in a lolsuit filed by this article's subject, most of them sysops. These heinous criminals stand accused of defamation, having besmirched the odious character and many successful criminal enterprises of the plaintiff. The defendants have retained the services of attorney at lol Andrew Weevlos, who is fully expected to solicit many tears from the butthurt complainant.

Shahn Christian Andersen (b. March 26, 1975: Age 49) is the owner of MakeMeTaller.org (a sham website and an affront to god) and an aspiring actor who can't seem to gobble enough dicks to get famous. Born in Syracuse, New York, he moved to Edmond, Oklahoma and attended Edmond Memorial High School and graduated in 1993. After graduating from high school, he attended St. Thomas Aquinas College and Tennessee State University in Nashville, Tennessee. After university, he moved back to New York and settled in Brooklyn, New York City. Shahn is a purveyor of snake oil and false hope. To combat his poor public image he has hired two layers. He is now currently suing a bunch of user names because his lawyers never managed to gain entrance into a reputable lawfirm and must rely on shoddy lawsuits to get their name in the papers.

David and Justin are determined to prosecute the case despite being completely clueless of what the 1st amendment is (free speech shitlickers, come at us). Be sure to call them at (718) 243-9323 and let them know that their law degree from Devry University is about as useless as the Jew corpses they printed their pdf on. Maybe one day they'll take that trip to Disney Land that their parents could never afford.

Career

Shahn is a building contractor and is employed by Imaginative Nuance Llc in Brooklyn, NY. He makes money from his website MakeMeTaller.org as you will find out later if you keep reading this article. Before said scam company, he spent his time jerking off lawyers and promising startup success. His career is best described as the endless ramblings of an aborted fetus punctuated by temper tantrums. If his current endeavor were to fail, his most probable response would be to leap to his death or breathe in endless amounts of carbon monoxide. Due to his ego being made of finer glass than his leg cartilage, he is eager to play the game of Internet lawsuits. Sorry Shahn, this doesn't end well for you faggot.

Marriage and Family

Of Danish lineage, somehow his ancestors' genes became mutated while crossing the Atlantic Ocean and Shahn only grew to the height of 5' 7", which is uncharacteristic for a Scandinavian as they are renowned for being giants. Knowing that he is too short to be accepted as a member of the Aryan race, he embraced multiculturalism and mixed race relationships by moving to New York and marrying a nigger. The race traitor and the nigger had two nigglet girls and now Shahn is vehemently opposed to racism against niggers, which happens to be the only morals this guy has. Luckily he will die alone to the embarrassment of his family and the relief of his friends.

Shahn's nigger wife filed for divorce after realizing her husband is an insecure sociopath. He responded by developing an unhealthy addiction to increasing his height. Much like Elliot Rogers, he cannot understand why girls want nothing to do with an overly skinny assclown attempting to carve an empire out of fitness. Needless to say he currently spends most of his time on OKcupid and the backpages of major news publications.

Physical Attributes

Formerly an overweight, 5' 7" man-child, Shahn underwent cosmetic leg lengthening surgery in 2010 with Dr. Betz in Germany to make himself 9.5 centimeters taller. Not content with being 5' 11", Shahn then underwent a second surgery to make himself 10.5 centimeters taller. This made him around 6' 2.5" and looking like a fat dwarf on stilts. After realizing he looks like a long-legged freak, he decided to hit the gym and bulk-up to make his limbs look more proportionate. Unfortunately he is a skinny faggot so he managed to fail at even that goal, which led him to the decision that rather than trying to do some hard work he should just peddle bullshit. Tired of people on the street pointing out to him that he looks like a retard, he went back to Dr Betz and lengthened his upper arms in a misguided attempt to look normal. Because Dr. Betz is a con artist like Shahn and also a shitty doctor, Shahn ended up with a bone non-union during his lengthening making it impossible for him to jerk off. Shahn posted his arm lengthening exploits on his sham website but eventually removed his posts after members pointed out what an idiot loser he is for getting arm lengthening. It's worth mentioning that Shahn also had a hair transplant and botox injections done on his face after his arm and leg lengthening, which turned him into a combination of a post-op tranny and Slenderman. Eventually the poor quality plastic surgery that was performed on Shahn will fail and his fragile knee caps will blow out leaving him permanently crippled. You can help by challenging him to a game of basketball.

He claims that he will be entering "a very important sports competition" in March, 2015 despite the fact that he hasn't been able to run since 2010.

Genitals

He has none. That's why he spends all his time crying out of his ass.

Career in Acting

In 2013, Shahn took up the opportunity to star in an independent film called Cigarette Soup. Nobody heard about or cared to mention lil' Shahn because he can't fucking do anything right.

Career in Music

In 2015, Shahn was still finding ways to blow the extra money surgeons sent him for referring people to be their test subjects. He decided to make shitty rock videos with his relatives. Notice how he's always walking or sitting because his legs are so stretched and fucked up from 7 inches of leg lengthening that he can't run.

Owner of MakeMeTaller.org

Use scrollbar to see the full image

It might have been convincing back when bloodletting was used as a cure..

Sometime in 2011, the original owner of MakeMeTaller.org decided to sell the forum after his personal property was vandalized by a member of the forum. The vandalism was the consequence of the admin being an egomaniacal nigger who would ban anyone at the drop of a hat. After making a deal with Dr. Betz, Shahn Christian Andersen seized the opportunity to become the admin and use it as a portal to shill for the Betzbone, which Shahn made royalties from. Going by the handle "SysOp", Shahn also renovated the Recommended Doctors List and - in exchange for a monthly or yearly sum of money - he would ask various doctors and clinics if they would like to be listed on the forum's Recommend List to increase to number of patients they would receive. Shahn continues to try and deceive people by posting both as the user Sysop and the user Apotheosis, talking to himself as if he is two separate people. As Apotheosis he spends most of his time promoting Dr Betz so people will be encouraged to get their surgery done by him and make Shahn more money in the process.

Wanting money for pay for his cosmetic surgeries, Shahn decided to shill his website more by doing an interview with ABC's 20/20, which was advertised on Yahoo along with a link to Make Me Taller and would also be picked up by popular newspapers in the U.S. and U.K. The forum's "Most Online Ever" achieved a still-standing record of 4601 users online on February 24, 2012, 07:13:04 PM.

Criminal Activity

Shahn wanted to make more money from his deal with Dr. Betz by bringing the Betz bone to India. This would make internal leg lengthening surgery cheaper and mean more royalties for Shahn. Shahn went into business with a 5' 3", Indian rodent named Amit who went by the handle Crazy+6. Amit contacted a surgeon named Dr. Amar Sarin and the three of them decided to go into business together.

Shahn loaned Dr. Sarin $10,000US to Dr. Sarin so the doctor could set up a guesthouse for patients looking for surgery in New Delhi. The Indian rodent, Amit, agreed to undergo femoral lengthening with Dr. Sarin and write a diary in the process to shill for the doctor's business. Due to the high praise Amit lavished on Dr. Sarin, Dr. Sarin quickly became the number one doctor on the forum for cheap tibial lengthening.

Things didn't go according to plan for Shahn as Dr. Sarin decided to cut Shahn out of the deal by finding his own internal nail for femoral lengthening instead of choosing the Shahn-endorsed Betz bone. This pissed off Shahn greatly and he decided to visit India with Dr. Betz to speak to Sarin personally. In the meantime, Amit was having serious problems with his surgery as he underwent the grueling technique of doing external femoral lengthening and was left crippled for the rest of his life.

In an email conversation between Shahn and Dr. Sarin, Dr. Sarin admitted he fired Amit because of financial irregularities. In the same email, Shahn admitted he "spent a lot of time talking to patients and recommending you (Dr. Sarin) on my website". He then went on to admit he "made sure that you (Dr. Sarin) were the premier location for low cost leg lengthening and made sure patients chose you (Dr. Sarin) over doctors in Russia, China, Armenia, and Serbia. Many of the patients that have come to you (Dr. Sarin) used to go to these doctors. Now almost all of them come to you (Dr. Sarin)."

End of Scam One

During the visit to India in August 2013, Shahn visited the guesthouse and pretended to be disappointed at the treatment the patients were getting, but the ulterior motive was to call the deal off with Dr. Sarin after Sarin got greedy, and put Dr. Sarin's name on the "Do Not Recommend" list of doctors. He then banned the IP address for guesthouse from Make Me Taller so the patients inside wouldn't alert the other members of the forum, but some members noticed something suspicious. After they questioned the suspicious activity on the forum, Shahn banned them too.

Beginning of Scam Two

In the meantime, Shahn's pet rodent, Amit, found another doctor to perform cosmetic leg lengthening and Amit created a fake diary on Make Me Taller to shill for the doctor. The doctor's name is Dr. Sringari and was a hip and knee replacement doctor with no formal training in leg lengthening, but the members of the forum were naive to this. Many patients were deceived by the diary and traveled to Dr. Sringari for surgery.

The banned members and renegades, who had learned of the scam, formed the website LimbLengtheningForum.com to discuss leg lengthening without the lies and deception. On there, a few patients of Dr. Sringari testified that Dr. Sringari didn't know what he was doing and may now be permanently disabled due to the doctor's incompetence and Shahn's desire to profit off the Betz bone nail.

Dr. Mahboubian is the Third

Now it appears Dr. Mahboubian of Hollywood, California is the latest addition to Shahn's list of crooked doctors. Shahn's sidekick "Tall" is creating fake dairies and using sock-puppets to promote Dr. Mahboubian.

Lolsuit

After copypasting a "DMCA" take down order without understanding the ramifications or legal stature of what constitutes warning or notification, Shahn hired two lawyers to handle his very important case (vandalizing your article with poorly worded false legal documents will not qualify as "legit"). Unfortunately for them the Internet is not subjugated to the definition of libel or defamation and Encyclopedia Dramatica is not a legally incorporated business entity. It takes no responsibility for its users and the personal opinions of said users are covered under legislation allowing American citizens the use of the 1st amendment. Furthermore, as per the definition of "libel," there must be an actual publication of said material - and as Encyclopedia Dramatica is a website that requires user participation in order to access its content, it is neither publication nor defamation. In addition to the lack of notification the GLOBAL Internet is not governed by puny state laws outside their jurisdiction, nor is the behavior of said users outside of the state of JEW YORK their responsibility. Their frivolous lawsuits have as much weight as a 12 year old girl with cancer in the ring with Mike Tyson. Have fun trying to petition the Supreme Court for the right to prosecute random people on the Internet saying mean things faghats; in conclusion: go fuck yourselves.

	“	Just read through the whole thing. Short of John Doe 1 - 20 coming in giving up their name, i'm not exactly sure how they will actually successfully collect on the million dollars. BTW, he just alleges 1 million dollars in damage. I could allegel 600 trillion dollars in damage. The ammount in question may not be over a million, but it needs to be above $75,000 for FRCP to kick in. Otherwise it looks good on it's face. The attorneys are following proper Civ Pro and citing 1331, 1332, and 1338. I just dont see how they will actually track down people with real names short of subpoenaing internet records. That takes time and money. Filing a lawsuit in federal court costs about 300 bucks. I wonder what the fee agreement says.	„
	—EDF2's resident lawyer

	“	Also people, remember, this is CIVIL so no one is going to prison.	„

	“	Wait, who was this served against? I still dont see a defendant, rather, just a Plaintiff's complaint against "JOHN DOE". Also LOL at the Jury Demand. I would love to sit in on that one. "Boudica, could you please describe to the jury what "lulz" are?"	„