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Real World

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Propaganda published in conventions.
Chappelle's take on the real world.

The real world is where you no longer live with your parents, you're not in school and you actually have to get up before noon to put on that McDonald's uniform and show up for your burger flipping shift.

  • The real world is what your $40,000/year liberal arts education was supposed to prepare you for, but didn't.
  • The real world is the fact that a 19 year old knows more about programming C than your college professor learned in 20 "industry" years but can't get hired due to no professional experience.
  • The real world is what you face when your 4 year military enlistment is up. Good job, well done, now transition that skill with your M-16 to a paying job out there.
  • The real world is a fictional entity that shits on you when you're down, pisses on your shoes when you're up, and generally makes your life hell.

The real world shows you to be inadequate, that you're always 17 years old, and you preferred it that way. There is a good reason so many people still live in their parents' basements at 40.

Oh noes.

How Do I Know I'm In The Real World?

Here are some questions to answer:

  • Do I live with six other strangers? Y/N
  • Do I live in a loft? Y/N
  • Am I having my life taped (LiveJournal webcams count and so do cameras hidden in your toilet put there secretly by porn sites)? Y/N
  • Do I know/care what happens when people stop being polite and START GETTING REAL? Y/N

If you answered yes to any of these frequently asked questions, congratulations! You are part of the real world.

Controversy

Map of the world, as provided by Google.
ZOMG is that a vertical dual monitor setup?

Google does not currently index the real world, and so there is no actual proof that it exists. Reported real-world experiences are suspiciously similar to near-death experiences, both featuring such things as brilliant lights from mysterious sources, feelings of disengagement, and conversations with long-forgotten family members.


See Also


Featured article October 14, 2005
Preceded by
New Jersey 		Real World Succeeded by
Dubious disclaimer
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