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Just Cause

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The Just Cause Video game series are mostly generic garbage, asides from JC2 and its third-party multiplayer mod. Imagine a huge ass world map; one of the biggest in gaming- now make it sparse with any real content and re-paste the same generic resources over 9000 times. Throw in clunky gameplay and B-movie dialogue/plot, and you get a Just Cause game. Generally, the only point in playing a Just Cause game is to perpetrate several 9/11 attacks by blowing the fuck out of everything in sight. The stories typically consist of several different factions fighting for control of the respective fictional nations, and Rico taking out the dictator at the top of the food chain. The games are infamous for having a FOV of a shittily 35, which is looking through a cardboard tube that is looking through binoculars that is looking through a viewfinder that is looking through another cardboard tube. The PC fags have an option to fix this, whereas consoles can go fuck themselves.

Just Cause

The first game in the series was released in 2006, originally programmed for the primitive PlayStation 2; it is no surprise that the graphics were made of fail for the time. You play Rico Rodriguez, an agent for "the Agency" (Probably the CIA) and your job is to destabilize the nation by teaming up with a Communist guerrilla organization. Gameplay is similar to the rest of the series - a huge ass world map; metaphorically speaking, a massive lake that's only a few inches deep. You get to do whatever the fuck you want, at your own pace. It doesn't help that all the missions suck and the game has more bugs than a 14 year old Vietnamese girl's asshole, making the game often unplayable at times.

Just Cause 2

After 4 years, Avalanche released Just Cause 2, surprising the gaming world by making an actually decent game. They actually tried to make a compelling world map- you now find several different climates, from Deserts to Alpine mountain peaks, all surrounded by endless seas of hostile jungle environments. Gameplay has been polished significantly, but it still consists of just blowing the fuck out of everything and getting gunned down to death by endless waves of soldiers, able to hit you with 100% accuracy in the heat of combat, from distances up to 200m.

They put a little bit more effort in the story, but even a middle school kid could come up with a more compelling plot than these jackasses. Instead of having only 1 terrorist organization to fund and assist, you now assist several different ones, from Socialist Commie rats to capitalistic pigs, all being assisted by foreign entities to help seize the rich oil deposits in the oceans. Avalanche and Square Enix pulled a Bethesda by producing a dozen shitty DLCs - mostly small packs with a few new items/vehicles. They have a terrorist bitch named Bolo Santosi you work with and she is with the reapers with her dumb accent. And would become a forced meme for all nerds to fap too.

Just Cause 2 Multiplayer

BREAKING NEWS!!
PROTIP: The Panau Airport is a WARZONE! Avoid at all costs!

The l33t hax0rz, jaxm and Trix fell in love with the game after playing the demo. Notable for modding the fuck out of GTA:SA and GTA:VC, they set their eyes on Just Cause 2. After several years, they finally opened up a beta in 2012 and 2013, which attracted Over 9000 players. At one point, nearly a thousand people were on their server, producing some of the most intense, lulzy and amazing gameplay in gaming history. Their multiplayer mod was noticed by Square Enix and Avalanche staff- instead of being dickheads and shutting it down (like 90% of businesses would do), they actually did something surprising- they encouraged the work, adopted it, and had it released on Steam's marketplace. Thus, an Eternal September occurred; hundreds of thousands of newfag v& flooded the servers and fucked up the community.

JC2MP Servers

Every server generally consists of autistic 14 year old boys who constantly spam degenerate homosexual subject matter. These autistic ponyfag scum sadly make up the majority of the community.

Jman100's Freeroam Server

A notable server established long ago belongs to Jman100, an autistic hairy ass homosexual Millennial from the USA. Like most servers, the admins are egotistical dickheads who will ban you for the smallest offense, whilst ignoring countless autistic actions perpetrated by all the teenage fags. A good way to fuck up the server is to find a huge ass building and stack (5) it a fuckton. This will rape the FPS and ensure anyone coming within a 1km range of your are will get BTFO. Good luck!

On Jman's server, there are three different parralell universes: The normal one, a build world, and a paint world. In build world, you're given all many of the objects found in JC2 to build with. Sadly, you have to dish out a lot of $$$ to the Jew Jman to be able to access more than 30% of the objects, then get banned anyways for making a swastika apartment. The recently released Paint world strips the world of all the vehicles and gameplay; now you can only paint shit. The admins are notable for complaining if you even paint at all, and will likely clear all of your art and shadowban you from participating again.

Real Life Server Roleplay

Basically you waste 5 hours until you make enough of a name for yourself to join one of the warring factions. The autistic admins will interrogate you and interview you for a few hours, trying to make you their bitch. Those not autistic enough to put up with this, often leave the server- never to return. Those who stay become indoctrinated into one of the most boring online experiences of all time. You're not allowed to use any vehicles without explicit permission from the dickhead bosses- and often times you'll find nobody on. If you find any way to have fun on these servers, you will be permanently banned.

Noteworthy People and Factions

Panau Defence Force

Group of white knight faggots who pretend to be a military on a dying game, going from server to server spreading their cuckery. They claim to be helping to fight against "RDMers", despite the fact that Just Cause 2 is a game about killing people, and also to fight against "terrorist factions", which removes the only fun part of the game. Commonly found on the Nologam server and Alpha's Faction Freeroam. Track them down and consistently kill them for massive lulz. They will likely get the rest of their terrible faction to witch hunt you, at which point you leave the server, change your steam name and rejoin, leaving them all clueless and repeat.

JC2MP Gallery

Just Cause 2: Multiplayer About missing Pics
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Just Cause 3

After another 4-5 fucking years, the next game in the series finally came out. Just Cause 3 focuses on a fictional Mediterranean environment to fuck around with. Although the graphics are badass, very few people's computers can even run it, and even high-end Nvidia GPUs run the game like shit. Those who can even successfully run it will be greeted to a much-inferior game to it's predecessor. The world map is more detailed but features just the same shitty ass climate, similar to JC1. Plus, there's no multiplayer and no intentions for it, leaving the game a shell compared to what JC2 ended up being. Ironically, Just Cause 2 is still more popular than the third one, despite JC2 being well over a half-decade old. JC3 follows in it's predecessor's footsteps, with a fuckload of shitty DLC. This time, instead of being cheap $1 packs, these pieces can cost as much as 25 dollars for what is essentially like 2 new items.

JC3 Gallery

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See Also

External Links

Just Cause is part of a series on

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