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Mister Metokur
HOLY SHIT HE GOT CANCER!!111 |
—Jim before every video. |
Autism. Autism never changes. The Internet brings out the gayest faggots within society under the guise of anonymity, allowing them to spread their legs and tout their retarded cocks. And yet every now and again, there's one faggot who comes out and highlights the autism of the internet, bringing lulz and drama wherever they breathe. Mister Metokur, is one such faggot.
Known online as Mister Metokur, Jim81Jim, the Internet Aristocrat, or just Jim (b. 1981), is a Minnesota born and raised midget of many aliases who needs no introduction. We can try however if you're that retarded. There are many ways to describe Jim. To some he's a Jerry Springer of the internet age; to others, a former Gamergater with a passion for clowns and furries. But most importantly, he's a 40 year old who talks about internet drama for a living. Keep your panties on, ladies; he's taken. And you're probably too old for him anyway. Seriously, if she's 20 years old as another faggot claimed, and she's the same Jade he's been talking about since at least 2015, it could've been fucking illegal depending of the state. Well, that makes a case for why he would make so many accounts. And here our story begins. He is known offline as James O'Shaughnessy. For the few fags who don't know who he is he's basically an unfunny oldfag /pol/ack/METOKUR fanboy who has a fetish for Asian bimbos and making spergs shit themselves when he's not busy deleting drunk livestreams out of embarrassment.
As of December 2022, Jimbo has officially gone into retirement (for a third or fourth time) to live out the remainder of his days watching anime in a a Medicaid sponsored Hospice due to Stage Four GRIDS.
Act I: Jim81Jim
Stage6
Before YouTube there was Stage6. A divx run website, where weebs and other losers uploaded shitty videos.
—Jim |
Here Jim spent his time putting out shitty animu videos.
Videos
Here are some video titles that Jimbo made
- Dragon Ball Z Vegeta Wins AMV
- Richard Simmons Prank Call Anime
- Ms. Cleo Prank Call
- Anime Facts 11-15
- Anime Facts 1-5
- Anime Facts 6-10
- Mr. Rogers Prank Call 2
- Mr. Rogers Prank Call
- Joe Pesci Prank Call 2
Profile
—Jim |
-Location Minnesota -Interests Anime. Video Games. Reading. Chess. MTG Card Game. J-Pop. Sci-Fi. History ( huge dork when it comes to that ). -Favorite movies This question is so Cliche -Favorite music J-Pop. K-Pop. Thai-Pop. ( Are you sensing a theme yet? ) Hip-Hop. Rap. Heavy Metal. Rock. Pretty much anything really. -Favorite TV Mad Men. Breaking Bad. Adult Swim Sunday night line up. Daily Show. Colbert Report. X-Play. Attack of the Show. And a lot of others I can barely remember. -Favorite books What are these "books" you speak of. What website can I download this software from???? Seriously though.... Halo Novels. The Wheel of Time series. Philosophy books ( I.E. Golden Sayings of Epictetus. Plato. Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. The Art of War by Sun Tzu ) I know some wouldn't consider Sun Tzu to be philosophy but I do. American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips which I though was an excellent piece about the future of the country in relation to our economic ties to energy sources such as oil. A lot of other books as well. If your curious just ask. -Favorite games Halo 1 and 3. The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Morrowind. Final Fantasy 7, 12, and Tactics. XenoGears. Brigandine. Resident Evil 4. Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess. Super Mario Galaxy. Metroid Prime 3. Castlevania Symphony of the Night. Wizards and Warriors ( NES ). A lot more too. Just ask if you want to know. -Occupation College Student
FTFC
Jim made his own hugbox where nobody could say mean words. F.T.F.C or Fuck The Flaggers Community, was where Jim wanted to upload his shitty AMV's.
The F.T.F.C. stands up for the little guy. Recently some activity on Stage6 has inspired me to create this channel as a gathering place for all those who have been targeted, as a gathering place for those who want to stop this harassment, and as a gathering place for all those who want Stage6 to remain a place where users are free to create great content. Flaggers is a term which you will hear used a lot on this channel and so I want to clarify its meaning. A flagger is not a person who rates a video from a user with a thumbs down. Everyone is entitled to their own voice and exercising their own rights to be heard. But there are those who would abuse this right and try and work the system to strike out at those who create content for us, the users. They seek to suppress others out of jealousy for their abilities. For all of us here who have worked so hard to create something there is nothing more painful than watching it destroyed by a cowards actions. As you explore this channel you will come to understand just how harmful those actions have been and can be. But there is hope. If we decide to stand together and with one voice say, "No more" we can effect a change. We can ensure that those cowards are exposed for what they are and help to protect what makes this site so great in the first place, the users. Stand tall your with the F.T.F.C. now. ******************** Special Announcement ****************** I would like to welcome to the FTFC channel two new admin's. First there is the lovely and talented MidoriDory who looks forward to helping out with the channel and was one of the first members here. Secondly we have Born_On_A_Mountain who has helped to bring the channel to the attention of the AMV community. Thanks to both you guys ( Oops. Guy and Girl ) for saying yes and for helping out.
Goodbye Stage6
Poor Jim was pretty upset when Stage6 shut down, and went on to tell a long sob story from his childhood.
Use scrollbar to see the full text
Sanctuary6
After Stage6 died, Jim started a shitty wiki board for all his friends on Stage6, by the name of Sanctuary6.
Profile
Home town: Forest lake Birthday (month/day): October 9th Current residence: Home Occupation: College Student My guilty pleasure(s): Really???? I am a guy. I think that is answer enough. LOL. The best word to describe me is: Me My hero(es): The guy who stood up to the tank in Tiananmen Square. That actually made me cry. Brave bastard. Words or phrases I overuse: Endoplasmic Reticulum My superpower is: I can see leprechaun's What else you should know about me: Lots In the movie version of my life, I would be played by: Only my amazing self could ever hope to bring to life the story that is me. Why it only makes sense that I would play myself. Hazaa, I am an arrogant douche. LOL. My childhood ambition/career goal: The combination of astronaut and police man. A policenaut. Sadly I have come to find out that this position has yet to exist. Fingers crossed though. If I were a breakfast cereal, I would be: Off the shelfs due to complaints about the amount of alcohol contained within. 50 proof puffs aren't for kids. Silly Rabbit. If I could tame and ride any animal, it would be a: Liger. Cause that way I get two for the price of one. Checkmate, Logic. If I could live anywhere, it would be: Japan My dream job(s): Writer My dream vacation(s): Paris Last movie I saw: CloverField Last book I read: Eternal Ice : Book 2 of the Ice Age Cycle Last album I listened to: Sorry whats an album. LOL. Is that like the grandfather of an MP3 or something. Last big splurge: Sega Saturn I bought at the mall today. Not a bad price for classic gaming cool. Last vacation: St. Thomas, St. Martin, and other caribbean islands. Website(s): Wow thats like asking a parent which kid they love the most. Hobbies: Apparently filling out fucking forms. LOL Food(s): Pizza Gadget(s): Anything gaming related Vacation spot(s): Anywhere warm I like my eggs... Away from my plate. Yuck... : ( Game(s): All of them Sport(s): Naked Female Wrestling... Thats a sport, right? World leader(s): The ones I like are all dead. : ( TV show(s): Daily Show, Adult Swim lineup, Bunch of others. Celebrities: God, I wish they were all dead. LOL. Next question. Charities/Causes: The Jim81Jim charity. Please donate. Movies: Red Violin. Great movie. Musician(s): Anyone not named Yanni Song(s): Anything J-Pop or K-Pop Dessert(s): All of them. Chocolate cake. Quote(s): None. You can quote me on that too if you like. : ) Cartoon character(s): ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friends
- AnimeQueenXD: An attention whore fat drama queen who was big into twilight.
YouTube
In the beginning when Youtube was young and not a commercialized jewfest like it is now, Jim was just one of many commentators who would always get off at starting drama fights with other users. His favorite hobby was laughing at other autists as they make an ass out of themselves (which seeing as this was back in 2007 meant, pretty much everybody.)
During this time his most well known drama incidents was his slap fight against classic autist Spax3, and his personal war against the existence of Juggalos. In short, it was the beginning of a long and gayass legacy.
Previous Video | Next Video
Act II: Internet Aristocrat
Near the time for the end of the world, Jim shed off his old identity of Jim81Jim, and put on the metaphorical powdered wig of lulz as he created his new persona: The Internet Aristocrat. As Youtube started getting serious so did he, as Jim realized he needed to go bigger. Move away from trollbait retards and go for the grand prize: Social Justice Warriors. Searching high and low, he searched to find the hive of these dramamakers looking for the infinite source of lulz. And after years minutes of searching, he found the motherload of shit: Tumblr.
Shows
Tumblrisms
With the discovery of Tumblr, Jim had hit the jackpot. He could only contain his erection for chaos for so long that he needed to stroke it fast and violently, letting out that jizzstream of lulz. So he created two shows to highlight the faggotry of otherkins, feminists, and the likes. Tumblrisms came to be that jizz, highlighting the many buzzwords of Tumblr such as Headmates, Cis-scum, and more.
- Cis-Scum
Previous Video | Next Video
The Hugbox Chronicles
After the first few episodes of Tumblrisms, Jim started making a name for himself, causing outrage with many Tumblr users. So in order to keep the outrage going, he started cataloguing hissyfits in The Hugbox Chronicles.
- My Little Molestation
Previous Video | Next Video
Gamergate
As Jim continued with his hunt for lulz, he couldn't help but smell a yeasty vagina in the distance stemming from Kotaku. He started catching the whiff of the backstabbing whore Zoe Quinn as she begins to fuck with Jim's guilty pleasure, video games. Angry at the multicolored feminist bimbo queefing on his sweet sweet vidya, he demanded satisfaction and begun a series of lulzy videos he used to destroy the reputation of Quinn, and all the San Francisco fags that took a whiff of that queef.
What Jim failed to realize, is in his quest for revenge, he ended up creating a movement; a movement that would change autism forever. His inner /pol/ack made him feel heroic, that he was leading the charge against a corrupt society gone mad, and had to keep going with it.
Previous Video | Next Video
But eventually, his powertrip subsided, and he realized the consequences of his actions. In his powertrip for revenge he became the one thing he mocks the most: a faggot. In his shame, he burned his powdered wig, told everyone of his followers to do the right thing, and he disappeared forever...
Act III: Mister Metokur
Six months passed since Jim disavowed the movement he created, and while he was living the peaceful life, he started getting the itch again. His love for lulz was too great, and he began to go into withdrawal. He hungered for spergs, hungered for Tumblr dykes, and wanted that sweet sweet drama back. So, like Chris-Chan rising up after his sex change, Jim returned to the world as Mister Metokur. Notable subjects of his videos include:
- Nick "Pedopoop" Bate - got v& for reasons you could probably guess
- Jonathan Ross - tried to commit unalive by drinking febreeze after getting outed as a pedo
- Randy Stair - AKA Tranny Phantom. Shot up the grocery store he worked at before going to the afterlife to obtain some sweet, sweet ghostussy
Shows
Dead Series
Returning to Youtube, Jim decided that he needed to expand, so he created three new shows in order to triple the amount of lulz. They were:
- Hollowed Halls: A series set in leftist colleges.
- Internet Insanity: A series where Jim just reads articles we write. (thieving bastard)
- The /x/ Files: A series where Jim reads a horror story from /x/.
- Hallowed Halls
Previous Video | Next Video
Deviants
Since all three of his shows didn't kick off, Jim needed to find a new source of lulz to exploit. He couldn't go back to Tumblr, and he didn't have the motivation to do Reddit, so where does any massive failure go from here? Deviantart, of course. Just from the news that he was going to do a show on Deviantart fetishes every autist on the interwebs immediately shat their diapers (Figuratively and literally) and immediately went on Protocol Zero.
Previous Video | Next Video
The Pampers Pandemonium
Deviant's was a second coming for Jim. He was enjoying making the series and it brought with it an endless supply of asshurt and tears from sick fucks. However, the third episode on Furry diaper lovers (we're just gonna pause here so you have a minute to let that sink in. Furry diaper lovers; Yes, we have now hit rock bottom - ) several diaperfags immediately broke into a blood boiling rage that they were being exposed for the sick fucks they are. In retaliation, they immediately attacked Jim in a mass false flagging campaign, erasing his video from existence, (Until Youtube realized the reports were false and brought the video back the next day.) After his video was restored, the zombie husk of the Youtube Commentary community rose from the ground to have one last go on Jim, but Jim being the shitlord he is immediately kicked them back into the dirt where they belong. One of the autist commentators who tried to take Jim down in his weakened state was the brony cuck himself: ForNoGoodReason.
Brightsidebob
In this thankfully dead series, Jimbo, does his best to make fun of Darksydephil, by just commentating over Phil's extremely bad gameplay, with even worse commentary. You are not Retsupurae, Jim, and you never will be. The videos are all hourlong tribes of autism, making them even more unbearable than DSP's as at least he knows how to edit. The only thing funny about it is when you realize how alike Jim and Phil really are.
Both live in the Midlands. Both have Asian girlfriends, where Phil jerked off himself on stream, Jim jerked off his mongoloid sexbot Jay3dfox (Jem Mee Lee). They are both awful at videogames. Both have a rabid retarded fanbase. Both are overweight. Both have insanely many channels. And neither can produce anything of value.
It's Over
The inevitable happens. After over 3 years, someone (most likely Kraut/Sargon/Tonkasaw) finally "discovered" the dox that have been on this article and "doxed" James Patrick O'Shaughnessy by paying some guy to pay some guy on kiwi farms to re-discover shit (archive) we already knew, that Zaiger hard deleted because he needed Jim's fan's views for crack money. They then passed the blame on to an autistic Obi-Wan LARPer as they flaunted the dox they could have just asked us for. James takes his fall with grace, craking his usual jokes and banter, but his fanboys who worship Jim like a God go deep within the goaste of denial. Meanwhile, Josh from Kiwi Farms has a mental breakdown over people criticizing him and Jim's laughter (which he took as a personal attack on the integrity of his retarded web forum) and banned the person who posted the dox using an excuse that anyone on his site could be accused of doing. Dramacrats are encouraged to screencap their rage and denial.
Just when Jim was getting boring and running out of ideas, he gets doxed. Was it planned? No. Potato Niggers, while capable of shot term-trickery are incapable of long term planning.
Act 4: Cancer AIDS and its Consequences
Everything that happened to Filthy Frank happened to Jim: autistic fans invade his personal space, furries threw feces at his lawn, and unordered pizza boxes and porn catalogues piled up on his porch. Despite these setbacks, life went on pretty much the same for Mr. Metokur and his Asian concubine. He gave up on editing videos sometime in 2017 after Jewtube kept cucking him by deleting anything he put any effort into.
Jim eventually discovered the art of hosting livestreams that went on for way too long every month in which he laughed at autists like Matt Jarbo and stole material from ED and Kiwi Farms, and e-begging for superchats. This went on until December 31, 2022 when he put on his alleged final livestream due to the contraction of a rare and untreatable Cancer/Aids hybrid. Rumor has it that his diagnosis of cancer aids is fake and gay, since it's apparently not delibitating enough to keep him away from shitposting on Twitter. Some say he just wants to put some distance between himself and his extremely autistic Sweetie Squad fanbase by retiring the Metokur moniker and starting anew.
Usernames
- SirJimbo
- MidLifeJim
- AlexAtAlexIsAlex
- AlexIsAlex
- KingAlexander69
- JimJimThe81st
- SteveJobsGhost
- GamingInMinnesota
- TheTerribleLPer
- SuzyScales
- RetardedCartoonHorse
- GamesGoodMeBad
- GhostingPuppets
- InternetAutistocrat
- Haberhass
- Double Decade Gamer
- TimeForSomeTism
- TheDinnerDates
- LizTaylorsGhost
- Ghost of Jim81Jim
- AIAlbert
- Mij18Mij
- 8844alexander
- JustJim
- MisterMetokur - His current channel.
LOL B&BACK!!1 - XenoJim
- Jim81JimReturns
- Wawawhopsie
- TheInternetCriminal
- James Semaj
- h8g765ro0gjn8
- FurryPandaemonium
- NintendosAdvocate2
- BullshitForums
- BrightSideBob - His current secondary channel, with all the unfunny livestreams nobody wants to see.
- Dr. Murdoch
- Billy The Anti-Bully
- Hal - His ACTUAL secondary channel with all the unfunny livestreams. He renamed BrightSideBob to this.
- MisterAntiBully
He still has a large amount of not-yet discovered accounts on Youtube and different websites. He's mostly unknown because even he realizes how cringe-worthy they are and will not mention them.
Gallery
-
Jim showing what happens to vore fetishists.
-
In order to avoid Jim's sightline, many furfags offer tributes to the shitlord.
See Also
- Professor Kuhtoons - The younger, edgier, nigger version of Jim
- Rogue, Internet Man - Unfunny, thin-skinned retard who idolizes Daddy Jim
- Shoe0nHead - Fangirls about Jim everyday, wishing that she had his flabby dick
External Links
- IAmNotTheNSA Jim's Skype
- Jim's Kiwifarms thread
- Jim's Youtube Channel
- Jim's Odysee Channel - Also serves as his stream archive.
MisterMetokurWeWuzMetokurMisterAntiBully- Definitely NOT Jim's alternate Twitter, if it was it would be suspended for ban evasion- mistermetokur
Article written about how he's somehow the luckiest man alive for owning an air conditioner(archive)- Jim's Newgrounds account
- SWATTED!!1
Mister Metokur is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Featured Article February 18 & 19, 2017 | ||
Preceded by Daniel Sieradski |
Mister Metokur | Succeeded by Trash Dove |
Article of the Now January 4 & 5, 2023 | ||
Preceded by The Current Year |
Mister Metokur | Succeeded by Rogue, Internet Man |