I Don't Watch TV

"I Don't Watch TV" (or sometimes "I Don't Have A TV") is a phrase commonly used by arty, elitist rug munchers, cocksuckers and fags of all varieties (usually in a snarky fashion) to distance themselves from the rest of us cavemen when discussions arise about hot-topic fanboy shows.

Example:

Prima: "Did you see House last night?"
Secunda: "Oh...I don't watch TV!"
Prima: "...GTFO"

This statement is used either when they're too poor for cable or when a faggot thinks they are more cultured than you and have to read books and go IRL for entertainment. It makes them feel better about their shitty lives when they get asked about popular shows like South Park, CSI, Lost, and Pimp My Ride that everyone talks about around the water-cooler.

Sometimes, you'll catch one of these fags out when they slip up and say something like "Watching the Little Mermaid DVD" in answer to the question "What are you up to?" To which the best response is: "So what...you just rented the DVD and stare at the box?" Similarly, at least 100 percent of non-TV-watchers are fans of Firefly, Arrested Development, seasons 1 and 2 of Family Guy, Freaks and Geeks...are you noticing a pattern here?

This species also frequently claim that they don't own a comp00ting machine, hate the Internets and don't even have an email address.

What average people do when they don't watch TV, illustrated with some badly drawn comic

People Who Watch TV

• People who are too cool for the Internet
• Niggers
• Wapanese
• Azns
• Americans
• Cats
• Me
• You
• /b/

People Who Don't Watch TV

• Scientologists
• Hippies
• Hipsters
• Lesbians
• Faggots 80% of TV is now pure faggotry
• Liberals
• Eskimos
• Amish
• The Federation

What People Do When They Don't Watch TV

• Read books
• Listen to music
• Discover a cure for Cancer
• Fap
• Call friends up and disturb them while Full House is still on
• Kick it VTECH style

Passable Excuses for Not Owning a TV

• Infinite supply of Pussy
• Portal
• The UK Television License Fee
• Everything Is On The Internets Anyway
• A Social Life not applicable to anyone who's got this far down the article.
• Death

See Also

• Faggotry
• TV
• Unwarranted self-importance
• Aloof

References

• Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television
• Stuff white people like: #28 Not Having a TV

I Don't Watch TV is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.