FoxyFoxChick
FoxyFoxChick(Deactivated) is a furry, an attention whore, and a wanna-be necrophile (who seriously thinks that the KKK is a club anyone can join) with the intelligence of a retarded half-dead baby. She also possess sooper amazing sssspeling pawurs!
Foxy was first found on the page of Her-dark-prince, where she discovered the drama surrounding him shortly before his ban.
She then put up a journal exposing the "evils" of the trolls, and all the mean things they did to him. This brought about much lulz, and resulted in her getting trolled herself quite a bit. She later discovered another lolcow, FurrMetalAlchemist, and constructed a journal about her also. This didn't help little Foxy, who began to BAWWWW uncontrollably into her journal.
Foxy and the Nazis
As lulzy as her journals were getting none could beat the journal containing "The List". Foxy had made enemies within dA so in order for her to teach all them nasty trolls a lesson she made a list of people she deemed mean and nasty. All were fellow trolls and at the very bottom of the list was none other than Adolf Hitler himself. Not only was the list getting her unwanted attention but once she put Hitler in the list she was bombarded with Nazi related PLZ accounts. As people left comments containing Nazis in it she kept adding people to the list and soon enough there were over 9,000 people on that list.
—The last thing you see before you end up on the dreaded list! | ||
But it wasn't enough that she put so many people on that list. The more awesome and stinking of win your comment was the more times she put your name on the list and soon there was a fierce and dangerous competition to see who could get on the list as many times. Sadly Foxy was given a link to Da Rulez of dA stating that hate lists were not permitted and so the list was taken down but it didn't stop anyone from continuing to spread the Nazi love on Foxy's page.
-
The Führer on Foxy's page. -
The beginning of the contest. -
This was all you had to do to get on the list. Seriously. -
I can't find any words for this... -
Shortly after this comment HappyPenguins was added to the list. -
Whole new level of stupid. -
Foxy knows some yus. -
This is how you won the contest. -
Nazis = Trolls??? -
Not your personal army. KTHNXBYE! -
LULZ!
As stated above the journal containing the list was baleeted and we're left without the people who participated but it has been confirmed that snoopyfemme won by blasting Hitlers at Foxy and getting on the list the most.
Her Science
Shortly after her attention-whoring caused several people to flock to her page and leave comments full of logic and common sense she would retort with inane comments such as "No, your wrong" and the ever famous "I'll use my science on you!" Up until recently no one had any fucking clue what was this thing she called her science and if indeed it had any real effects. Just as we were about to give up hope of ever gaining knowledge of this science Foxy posted a very insightful journal explaining what her science is and how it works and why she's special enough to be able to use it.
Apparently she writes down what she wants or what she wants to happen to her 25 times everyday and presto! Just like magic it shows up out of thin air. Despite the fact that her science is very similar to tarot reading and magic she says her science is unique and all powerful and special. Every attempt to make her see that there is no difference between her science and these other practices is futile. She continues to believe in her insane and retarded ways.
-
LULZY journal explaining her science. -
Hard facts of life. -
-
Can usemagicscience but can't read for shit! -
Now women have articles on Cosmology in their Cosmo magazines. -
-
Foxy on being a humanitarian. -
Enter the White Knights
Just like every other TARTlet getting trolled by others this silly bitch soon acquired two very useless and lulzy white knights. This was somewhat short lived as she was either forced to block them or she went into a PMS 'roid rage and told them to shut the fuck up.
stvnoliver and dlausactor6373 were nice enough to take on the roles of white knights for Foxy. Their activities were closely watched but to this moment they've done nothing but sit back and made useless comments on her journals. Some white knights they turned out to be.
Either way, shortly after acquiring these white knights Foxy made a journal (yes, another one!) announcing to the world how these two fuck-tards were fighting for her rights and justice.
—FoxyFoxChick | ||
And to make matters worse she wants a boyfriend...d'aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww. The peoples reactions to this journal were as follows.
—A very smart person | ||
—A man who knows truth when he sees it | ||
White Knight Update!
Seems that over the course of this lulzy train wreck Foxy has been an utterly tremendous help to all of her white knights and after her display of good friendship she is left without any real white knights. The only one who isn't going to give up is Makubatsu. So in turns Foxy is now completely white knight-less! So in the words of her school friend, "troll away dA!"
Another sucker falls for the trap is noble enough to help Foxy
Prior to her previous white knights, who to this very instant have remained backstage most likely fapping each other off, Foxy fooled yet another tartlet to defend her since she appears to not be able to defend herself by any means. Makubatsu was the main topic of Foxy's newest journal.
As the laws of physics would have it retards attract retards. Foxy's newest white knight has caused a world wide sensation of moar lulz. What seemed like a sockpuppet turned out to be a newfag, most likely an Azn using an online translator to get her message of righteousness across the interwebs. Despite the really bad spelling there was also a confusion as to what gender this person was. At first it was listed as female but now it's listed as male. Perhaps a tranny or someone suffering from Teruchan's identity crisis. Either way, the genderless tartlet posted a lulzy and very confusing journal which caught the attention of several people because of one phrase.
—Makubatsu | ||
This phrase almost rivals that of DivineAngel's "This is a violation of ethnic standers!"
This caused people to flock over to the tranny's page and also made a very entertaining dA submission done by the brilliantly talented X-emo-sexual-X. His two submissions depicting the lulz cow got this new white knight's attention and soon it was found leaving some rather confusing comments on the deviations.
So far she's still using that damn translator and causing even more lulz.
Quotes:
—The tranny white knight. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Sensitive Information
After the white knight journal was posted our little Foxy had made another journal this time putting up a note sent to her by an intelligent individual who knows how to properly web. This journal caused side wrenching lulz with a large order of intrigue and mystery.
—Anon's note to Foxy | ||
Information of the sensitive information is sketchy but it is rumored that one of Foxy's sexual fantasies is to have sex with a corpse. As soon as the people got wind of this they flocked to her page once more to leave nice little comments on her page. Even a zombie showed up. Obviously Foxy handled the situation rather badly claiming it was all a lie and that no one should listen to that fucking emo.
-
It's all lies you guys, seriosly! -
And she still doesn't get it. -
Zombies sure do love that Foxy. -
Fo' sho' dawg, fo' sho'! -
She don't gots teh brainz. -
Logic. It pisses her off. -
Foxy was forced to fire her white knights in order to keep the information safe and sound.
Leaked Information
Apparently our little Foxy had joined Gaia way before DeviantART and below is what she had posted on her profile. Of course, after learning that the people of DeviantART had found this information she was quick to erase it all and is currently denying she ever posted that or that she even has an account in Gaia.
Boston, Massachusetts
08/3/92
Hobbies: pornography, S&M, furries, writing (sometimes, but i'm no good lol), drawing (i sukc at that too lol), listenin to music, fucking, necrophilia, rape, magic, occult, sadism, chains and whips and sex toys and loads of good painful excitement lol Favorite manga: Death Note, of course ^-^
Dream Guy: someone submissive and cute in chains
Dislikes: wiggers, reading, math, school, my mom, the damn preps, total bitches, peoplewho know nothing, people I can't destroy, the human race, emos, goths, nazis, racist pigs, the principle at my school, the stupid mailman, the little dog across th street, hitler, hitler's mom for giving berth to him, stephenie mayor for writing that stupid twilightbook
journal:
hi guys!!! ^-^
im' sorta knew to the site an all, so... wassup? I'm Veronica, some friends call me 'Ron", and i'm a pretty cool person whose into some pretty werid adn kinky stuff. I hope I have fun on Gaia, i think it might be cool. a lot of the stuff's all expensive, it's crazy, seroisly! how do i make money real fast? does anyone know? whatever, time for bed, i guess. maybe i'll do more tomorow."
The Inner-Workings of Her White Knights
As unbelievable as this situation revolving around FoxyFoxInbred is what's even worse is how her white knights "act".
So far stvnoliver has been almost comatose replying once or twice in every journal. dlausactor6373 is going around claiming to not be Foxy's holy white knight in shinning armor and just threatened to quit. makubatsu is just making a fool of him/her/itself by refusing to give up the translator. Her school friend has just been FIRED! kuniehappy12 which is her latest white knight is no better than the other white knights. This sad parade of white knights is actually doing something constructive...for us.
The Tic-Tac Incident at Wal-Mart
As usual Foxy seems to think that the interwebs is a huge and endless hugbox where she can get people to sympathize with her every stupid situation. Getting banned from Wal-Mart was no exception. After Bawwwwwing IRL she proceeded to post a journal on dA about her bad experience that led mommy and the bald manager to yell at her and make her do chores around the house.
—Foxy on failing to rob the retarded. | ||
After people discovered said journal two threads were made in dA's Complaints forum. The LULZ radiating from the threads were so much that a flock of trolls and fellow deviants just had to see the journal for themselves and leave several comments that were full of win and awesome. Even Jim Carrey joined in on the fun.
—Jim Carrey. | ||
A few dozen comments quoting Carrey from Liar, Liar were being noted and left on her profile and journal. While the rest of the world found it funny FFC was not amused at all. Following her whinny journal she resorted to blocking a few people but the hits just kept coming her way and providing us with much laughter.
The following journal and the Wal-Mart journal contained people giving her the reason why she was punished: because she was fucking stealing. To this very moment she doesn't think what she did was wrong and that mommy and the rest of the world is wrong. No matter how clearly anyone spoke to her about it she just kept using her failed logic claiming it was only a small pack of mints. Despite the fact that she got off easy people told her she deserved to have had the manager press charges but she claimed to sue them for pressing charges over a small thing. Trolling people online is not cool but stealing is awwwwwwright!
-
...really now?... -
The victimized Tic-Tacs confronting their assailant. -
Posting this PLZ and phrase together on her Wal-Mart journal will anger her. -
I sense a charity forming... -
Words fail even me when reading this. -
Lame comeback is lame. -
Judge Judy is still laughing from this comment. -
The irony in this comment is far too much. -
Absolute motherfucking win! -
Foxy got owned by this dude right here!
Her reaction to her ED article
From the very beginning Foxy was adamant that she would never get an ED article because she was using her science to stop the article from ever being formed. The first article on her was sadly baleeted making her think her lulzy science made it happen. Sadly for little miss Foxy on the morning of May 3rd she was linked several times to this article of which made her post another journal containing much lulz and joy for the people of DeviantART. Of course like every other lolcow she isn't going to give up yet. She's got all of deviantART in suspense with something even more powerful than her science!
Bringing in reinforcements
As if roping in two very useless, cock swallowing cunts and a tranny who can't even put together one sentence in English to safe her/his/its life to fight her battles wasn't enough. She called in the reinforcements!
In her latest journal she stated that she suckered asked a friend from school to join DeviantART to help her with the troll problem she was having online. Just like the previous three morons this poor bastard got tangled in this Foxy mess and is now being carefully watched to see what he plans to do.
Of course, Foxy's plans went down the toilet, as usual, since several people left him comments stating that he should stay as far away from Foxy as possible unless he wants to face a rather difficult time on the internet. The IRL white knight turned out to just be playing Sherlock. So far he has no intentions of actually doing anything or as Foxy put it "give you all a good piece of his mind". Good luck Roy.
—Friend of Foxy | ||
Her new weapon against trolls
Even after she admitted her science failed she was quick to indulge the interwebs with a newer, moar powerful weapon than her science. Apparently she is to use her own pain to cause others tremendous pain without killing anyone or breaking the rules. As it would have it when DeviantART heard about this they were all yelling BULLSHIT.
Her Gallery of Failure
Since little Foxy thinks that the only type of people that got articles here in ED were people who had art we was somewhat inclined to not put up her shitty drawings but they're so deliciously bad we just had to do the world a favor and had to add them.
-
Notice how frail the linework is and how intense the look on the character's face is. Also, it should be noted that the character has a cliche name for a mouse and best of all how originality oozes from this work when she put the S backwards. This type of mastery is said to have made Da Vinci jealous at the tender age of 4 weeks in the womb. -
Anatomy 101...she skipped this class. It is said that Furfags make their fursonas in their own image so going by this FoxyFoxChick is a fat ass with disproportionate boobs and no eyes. Seriously, this doesn't surprise me at all. -
As if DeviantART isn't sinking in animu bullshit this stupid cunt has to go and draw an animu fox fursona.
Her Story
That's not all folks! Foxy also writes some very sad shit bag stories depicting her mary-sue characters and her ideals on life which depict her killing everyone she doesn't like. My advice is to stay tuned to the news as Foxy may be behind some school shooting any time soon. Read for LULZ and give an honest and well thought out critique and tell her to get help. Her reaction is sure to please all who read it.
(Celeste is busy carving something under a tree. She hears someone, and one of her ears pricks up. She looks up, and there is Amon, watching her.)
Celeste: (Unimpressed) What are you doing up there?
Amon: Wondering why on earth you spend your lunch hour carving things at school... with a knife.
Celeste: What else is there to do, really?
Amon: What are you making?
Celeste: Oh, one of those little baskets... you know, the kind where you take a peach pit, let it dry, and cut it into the perfect little ornament.
Amon: (Coming down) Sounds quaint... and boring.
Celeste: *sigh* But of course, you'd rather be playing video games.
Amon: Why not read or something? Why do you have to take a knife to school? Someone's bound to catch you with that.
Celeste: People take drugs, lighters, box cutters, ice picks, guns, and all sorts of other things to school all the time.
Amon: Doesn't make it right.
Celeste: Sure, but it gives me something to do.
Amon: It's still weird.
Celeste: (Gesturing with knife) Just you be sure and watch what you say, or you may lose something important.
Amon: Uhh... yes ma'am.
Celeste: So don't you have some schoolwork to do or something?
Amon: Me? Schoolwork? School's for losers anyway. I'll just get really good at killing things so I can be in the FBI or something.
Celeste: Well first, you'd have to kill someone.
Amon: Know anyone I could kill?
Celeste: I know someone...
Amon: Who?
Celeste: She's a girl in my history class. She's always getting really good grades because she cheats off of people. And her boyfriend's an asshole too. We could kill both of them...
Amon: That sounds fun. But when?
Celeste: I dunno... I'll stalk them and see when they go out or something.
Amon: Cool. I'll see if I can't get a gun or two.
Celeste: I'll see you later then?
Amon: Outside the theater, at the mall, tomorrow, noon.
Celeste: Very good. I'll have everything I need.
(The next day, Celeste has packed a bag full of knives, razors, ropes, cords, chains, guns, fireworks, and duct tape. She gets a ride to the mall with a friend, and meets Amon at the front of the mall. He's with one of his friends.)
Celeste: Hey!
Amon: Oh, hey.
Celeste: Hey Jeremy.
Jeremy: Yo.
Celeste: What's he doing here anyway?
Amon: Uh...
Jeremy: I totally want to help you kill those people!
Celeste: (Glares at Amon)
Amon: ... He forced me to tell him, I swear.
Jeremy: What are you talking about? You were all, "Hey man, I'm totally gonna kill some people." and then I asked you about it, and you told me about it.
Celeste: (Glares at Amon more)
Amon: Heh, that's... great, pal. You're a real kidder-
Jeremy: And so I started losing interest, but then he invites me in on the whole thing. It sounds fun.
(Celeste pulls out some brass knuckles)
Amon: ... fuck you, Jeremy.
(Celeste starts beating him up)
Jeremy: Um, so the way I figure, we'd have to find out their routine, right?
Celeste: (About to punch Amon again) ... right. *PUNCH*
Amon: Ouch.
Jeremy: Where are they now, anyway? I think I saw them come in near the T.G.I. Fridays...
Celeste: I dunno, but I'm gonna find out. (Drops Amon)
Jeremy: ... you ok?
Amon: (On ground) Shut up and help me find my nose.
Celeste: (Walking around the mall) Aha! I see her now...
(Sees the girl from her history class talking with her asshole boyfriend)
Celeste: Hmm... but how do we kill them, I wonder... more importantly, where? Not here at the mall... (Stops, turns, and sees a small child staring at her.)
Child: ... kill who?
Celeste: ... Was I thinking out loud again?
Child: ... I guess?
Celeste: Tell me, do you want some candy?
Child: I can't take candy from strangers.
Celeste: (Offers her hand) Hi, I'm Celeste.
Child: Um, I'm Jacob...
Celeste: There! We aren't strangers anymore! Want some candy?
Child: ...ok?
Celeste: It's in this big duffel bag. (Opens her bag)
Child: Really?
Celeste: Nope! (Puts the kid in the bag and closes it, then takes it out of the mall to the front of the movie theater, where Amon and Jeremy aren't standing) Oh for the love of- where'd they go to now? (Goes to try and find them)
(Meanwhile, at Gamestop...)
Amon: (Is playing a new military game) Die, Nazi zombies!
Jeremy: Um, if we're gonna do this thing... that we talked about... shouldn't we be out front?
Amon: Nope, this is more fun- wait, crap! The Nazi zombies are in my base!
Jeremy: Oh, use the Atomic Disintegrator.
Amon: I like the Particle Death Beam just fine, thanks.
Jeremy: That isn't much like World War 2, you know...
Amon: They had Nazi Zombies in World War 2.
Jeremy: No, they didn't. There's no such thing as zombies.
Amon: (Freezes, and then turns away from his game, which is still going) Ok, hold the fucking phone. There are such things as zombies.
Jeremy: I disagree, man.
Amon: No way. There are zombies, ok? It said so on the internet. And I trust the internet more than you anyway.
Jeremy: The internet isn't accurate, ok? You can't just believe everything you see on the internet.
Amon: Uh, yeah, I do it all the time, so yeah, I CAN believe everything I see on the internet. HA!
Jeremy: That's not what I meant- whatever! Just finish up and get off of your stupid game.
Amon: (Turns to see that he's died) Fuck! See what you made me do?
Celeste: I thought I'd find you two here!
Amon: Wha- oh, hey.
Celeste: Listen, I think they're heading for the food court, but there's a problem...
Jeremy: Which is...?
Amon: Cameras? Security? Flesh-eating parasites?
Celeste: No, you idiot. I was thinking out loud again and some little kid heard me talk about killing them.
Jeremy: Where is he?
Celeste: In this bag.
Jeremy: There's a kid in there?
(Amon kicks the bag)
Child: OW!
Amon: Sounds like a kid...
Celeste: See what I mean? Now what do I do?
Jeremy: We could kill him...
Amon: Yeah I hate kids anyway. I'm glad I was never a kid...
(Celeste just stares at him)
Celeste: Ok, so we'll kill the kid.
Jeremy: What do we do with the body?
Amon: I say we float it down the river for fun, with an advertisement pinned to his chest.
Jeremy: Would it float?
Amon: Those things bloat after a while; it'll float eventually.
Celeste: Great. By the river, then?
Jeremy: I suppose...
(They all take a hike to the river. Amon gets to kick the kid whenever he makes too much noise, which is often.)
Celeste: Now we need an advertisement...
Jeremy: Hold on... (Runs away from the group. comes back 30 minutes later with a house for sale sign)
Celeste: That'll do.
Amon: (Dumps the kid out of the bag)
Child: Freedom! (Tries to run away)
Amon: (Steps on his tail) Not for you.
Child: Ouch.
Amon: (Pulls out a gun) Can I shoot him?
Celeste: Hmm... ok!
- Bang!*
Child: OW! YOU SHOT ME IN THE EYE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MISTER?
Amon: Oh, wait, wait... (Aims a little higher and shoots him in the forehead, killing him)
Jeremy: ... I feel... ill.
Amon: I feel great! I've always wanted to do that!
(Odd stares)
Amon: Ah, whatever...
(Celeste ties the advertisement to him, and they all roll him into the water)
Celeste: Good, NOW we can go and try to kill that girl at the mall.
Jeremy: Wait, who said we HAVE to kill her? Why not kill someone else?
Amon: Like the mayor?
Jeremy: ... No, not like the mayor... Someone we don't even know.
Celeste: We'll use a phone book.
Amon: Yeah, serial killers do that all the time!
Jeremy: I have a phone book at my house.
Celeste: How far away is that?
Jeremy: Hmm... a few miles?
Amon: I have a better idea. (Shoots Jeremy and kicks him into the river)
Celeste: I like that idea.
Amon: My house is closer anyway. C'mon.
(They both sneak over to Amon's house. They goes in through the front door and into his kitchen.)
Amon: Here... (Drops the phone book on the table) is the phone book.
Celeste: (Flips through the book, sticks her finger on a spot, and looks to see where it landed)
Amon: Um, it landed on the advertisement for that hair salon near Denny's...
Celeste: That means we have to kill everyone in the hair salon. C'mon.
Amon: We'd need semi-automatic weapons...
Celeste: Oh, yeah...
Amon: (Goes up to his dad's basement and comes back with some Uzis and some ammo) Good thing my dad has weird hobbies.
Celeste: Cool. (Takes one) Let's go, then.
Amon: Are we walking?
Celeste: Ugh, let's not. I'm getting all sweaty...
Amon: Then we'll take the car. (Grabs some keys)
(They go to the hair salon in Amon's dad's silver sports car. They get out, check their guns, and go into the store.)
Girl at counter: Hello, welcome to Christina's Hair and Nails, how can we help you?
Celeste: (Shoots her in the face)
Amon: (Jumps up on the counter and begins firing into the salon, gunning down customers and staff alike)
(Celeste joins in, spraying bullets into the mess)
Amon: That was fun, let's go.
(They take off back to Amon's house.)
Amon: Uh oh, looks like my dad's home...
(They both go in to the house.)
Amon's Dad: Uh... oh, Amon! Did you take the car out?
Amon: Yep.
Amon's Dad: Oh, ok. Just making sure... Oh! And, uh, did you borrow some of my guns?
Amon: Yep.
Amon's Dad: Oh, ok. Just making sure... oh, hello Celeste.
Celeste: Hello.
Amon's Dad: Now uh, don't you two get into any trouble.
Amon: Ok, dad.
Amon's Dad: Alright...
(They go up to Amon's room, which is littered with junk)
Celeste: What a mess...
Amon: Don't remind me.
Celeste: So! ... what do we do now?
Amon: I dunno... kill someone else?
Celeste: How about your dad?
Amon: Nah, he's cool. How about your mom?
Celeste: No, it'd look too suspicious. Family and friends are out.
Amon: Well, I did kill Jeremy...
Celeste: Actually, I'm just really tired from doing all that walking and shooting and stuff. Plus, it's getting late.
Amon: And you are sweaty and covered in gunpowder, salon goop, blood, and sweat.
Celeste: Don't remind me...
Amon: But somehow, your unkempt, wild, savage self arouses something fiery within me-
Celeste: (Gets up quickly) Good night, Amon. (Goes downstairs and leaves)
(Celeste walks to her house, goes in, gets herself showered, and lies down on her bed listening to My Chemical Romance and thinking of who she's going to kill the next day.)
Sadly this piece of shit story has a sequel and Foxy plans to keep on writing this Stephanie Meyer-isque fail.
A Story Part 2
(The next day, Celeste wakes up, gets dressed, has herself a quick breakfast, brushes her teeth, gets her shoes, gets her duffel bag, and heads out the door.)
Celeste: Hmm... What was I going to do... oh yes! Meet with Amon and discuss how best to kill someone. But... oh damn, I forgot what he was doing today. I suppose I ought to go to his house and find out...
(She goes to his house, finds the door unlocked, and finds Amon sitting inside watching TV, with his dad passed out in his recliner)
Amon: Oh, hey.
Celeste: Hey. What did you say you were doing today?
Amon: I didn't.
Celeste: ... well, what are you doing today?
Amon: Watching TV. You couldn't tell?
Celeste: Har har... so did you want to go ahead and kill some more people?
Amon: (Looks over at his dad) Um, perhaps we'd better discuss that sort of thing somewhere else?
Celeste: Oh, crud, you're right... the mall?
Amon: I have no money.
Celeste: All you do is play games anyway. You never buy anything.
Amon: Fine... (Gets a gun) Who are we going to... wait... do you have something in mind?
Celeste: Not really, I was hoping you did...
Amon: Damn, I was hoping you did...
Celeste: Hey, maybe Jeremy has an idea- ...wait, ha ha, never mind.
Amon: Heh, yeah...
Celeste: So what the hell? I can't think of anything!
Amon: I say we carry around a bunch of dangerous stuff and wait for something to happen.
Celeste: Good plan. Do we have grenades?
Amon: Are you fucking kidding? Of course not.
Celeste: Perhaps we ought to try the military surplus store?
Amon: Yep. Right. "Excuse me, sir. I'm 16, and was wondering if you had any grenades, because I thought they would be SOOO much fun, just in case we needed to blow stuff up."
Celeste: Well we wouldn't do it like that, you idiot.
Amon: What do you propose?
Celeste: Hmm... we pay someone?
Amon: I HAVE NO MONEY.
Celeste: Ok, ok, so what we need is money...
Amon: Who could we sue?
Celeste: Forget that, we'd need it fast...
Amon: So we get someone to take out a loan for us, then we get this guy to buy some explosives for us, then we kill him on the spot?
Celeste: Perfect.
(They both walk to the bank)
Amon: But where are we gonna find this guy?
Celeste: In an alleyway?
Amon: A hobo?
Celeste: We could dress him up nicely...
Amon: Whatever you say.
Celeste: And THAT looks to me like a place where you can find hobos.
Hobo: Spare a dime? Snacks? Beer?
Amon: Even better. Want a bowl of cereal and an English muffin?
Hobo: Uh, yeah.
Amon: Great! All you have to do is follow me...
(They steer the hobo back to Amon's house)
Amon's Dad: (Fixing vodka and orange juice) (Pauses) Friend of yours, Amon?
Amon: Yep.
Amon's Dad: ... Ok, just making sure... (continues, then returns to the living room. Celeste fixes an English muffin with egg, bacon, and cheese, and Amon procures the cereal, a bowl, the milk, and a spoon)
Hobo: Gee, that's awfully kind of you strangers to have me over like this. (Digs into his English muffin)
Celeste: Yes, but after this, you get to help us do something-
Hobo: Got O.J.?
Amon: Of course. (Fixes him a glass)
Celeste: So here's the plan. We need you to help us out...
(At the bank...)
Hobo: Uh, I'd like some money please.
Clerk: ...No.
Amon: Fuck, we tried.
Celeste: What else can we do?
Amon: Rob the military surplus store?
Clerk: ...I can hear your conversation.
Amon: ...Fuck. (Points a gun at him)
Celeste: Whoa, hey, what are you doing?
Clerk: Listen to your friend... You are making a big mistake...
Amon: Right, everything in the drawer.
Celeste: We're robbing banks now?
Clerk: (Pulling out money) Oh, it's insured anyway. Just take it, but please, don't cause a fuss. We've switched off the cameras today; they're only on every other day. No one will know. I'll just say it was taken while I had gone to check on something else... or something.
Amon: Oh, thanks. Come on, Celeste... and, uh, you too, Hobo.
Hobo: Ok.
(They leave with a conveniently large quantity of cash and go to the army surplus store. The hobo gets them some combat boots, some thick army-green jackets, some grenades, some knives, and some ammo, plus one extra duffel bag for Amon.)
Amon: (Carrying everything in a duffel bag) Not a bad little store...
Hobo: (In a nice jacket) Nope... well, back to my alley. (Leaves)
Celeste: I guess we can afford to let him loose...
Amon: To the mall?
Celeste: To the mall.
(At the mall...)
Amon: We're at the mall.
Celeste: ... Yeah, I know...
Amon: ... Right ... so what do we do with all this anyway?
Celeste: Create a dangerous hostage situation which may result in one or more civilian deaths in the process of a nasty gunfire exchange between law enforcement and the teenage terrorists who've got hold of the place?
Amon: Alright.
Celeste: But first, we have to want something to be holding everyone hostage.
Amon: Magazine subscriptions?
Celeste: (Smacks Amon) No, you fool! Think of something bigger!
Amon: Ow! But... I don't want anything!
Celeste: There's got to be something we want!
Amon: I don't want anything! I just wanna watch my TV! I wanna eat pretzels and tell dirty jokes with my old man! I just can't think of anything!
Celeste: Keep it together! We'll just hold it hostage until we think of something we want!
Amon: Ok! But...how do we hold the mall hostage?
Celeste: We run into the food court, shoot at the ceiling, tell everyone to shut up, and get them into the center.
Amon: Ok. Then what?
Celeste: Then we tie everyone up, eat some Italian food-
Amon: I like Chinese food.
Celeste: Eat some Chinese food, and wait for the cops to show up. They sit around, wait for us to think of something we want, and then we tell them!
Amon: Ok. So we just run in?
Celeste: Yeah.
Amon: Yeah?
Celeste: Yeah.
Amon: Alright... when?
Celeste: Now! (charges into the mall with her gun out and loaded)
Amon: Wha- fuck! (Charges in likewise)
Celeste: (Running to the food court, firing at the ceiling occasionally) This is a terrorist takeover!
Amon: (Copying Celeste) We apologize for the inconvenience! When we know what we want, we'll tell you!
(Celeste gets on one of the food court tables and sprays bullets into the ceiling)
Celeste: Everyone shut up and get down!
(Everyone shuts up and gets down.)
Celeste: Good! Now, you all sit still while my friend here ties you up. If you don't have a problem with that, then you'll be ok. Otherwise, we'll just shoot you.
Amon: (Tying people together) When we figure out what we want, you'll all be safe. Until then, things are pretty tense, so don't screw around or try to be a hero.
Celeste: Oh! And get their cellphones also.
Amon: Right. (Starts getting cellphones)
(They work to get everything secure. Once all the people are in the center of the food court, they barricade all the mall entrances and exits, which takes a few hours.)
Amon: That was exhausting.
Celeste: Oh yes, how many hostages did we take exactly?
Amon: 37.
Celeste: And so everyone else evacuated the mall, right?
Amon: I guess. Do we have to really check the entire mall for anyone else?
Celeste: Of course. Go ahead and move toward JC Penney's, I'll head toward the Books-A-Million.
(They do so. However, Amon distracts himself by stopping at empty shops along the way, as does Celeste.)
(They meet up, and Amon is playing with a samurai sword.)
Amon: Look what they had at that Japanese store. *Slash, swipe, swipe*
Celeste: (Wearing something new and flashy from JC Penney's) Very nice... oh damn, we've become side-tracked...
Amon: So we have...
Celeste: Ok, we'd better do this thing together to ensure that we don't get distracted...
Amon: If you say so.
(They spend an hour and a half checking through the mall, but they find no one. They then return to the food court, and hear sirens in the distance.)
Amon: The police?
Celeste: I think so...
Library porn
All was quiet for a while with Foxy, and just when we thought she was done giving us lulz, she put up this journal, which was deleted by her very soon afterward. See if you can guess why:
A flame war broke out in the comments section, where foxy admitted that she thought rape was ok, as well as necrophilia, child porn, and bestiality.
Fanart and PLZ Accounts
Like most lolcows FoxyFoxChick has won the hearts of millions and thus the elite artists of DeviantART have taken it upon themselves to make amazing works of art for her and some ingenious PLZ accounts just for her. She was very, very pleased with the works of art presented to her. So far there are only 9 PLZ accounts and 1 stamp.
-
This actually happened IRL. -
She's very proud of this one. -
That fucking emo! Her second favorite catchphrase. -
This one made her the happiest. -
This one is dedicated to her tranny white knight. -
All your science are belong to us. -
The very first PLZ dedicated to Foxy. -
Bitch stole mah Tic-Tacs, yo! -
The infamous Tic-Tac. -
You heard correctly. You are now blocked. -
Lulziest PLZ up to date. -
Ledger would have deliberately taken those pills if he ever saw this. -
-
-
This shot was taken from the Wal-Mart she stole from moments after being confronted by mommy and the mean bald manager. -
Good, sound advice.
Screencap Gallery
Caution: These screencaps have been known to cause uncontrollable laughter and brain damage due to the level of stupidity. Proceed at your own risk.
-
Two lulzy comments on her magic journal. -
Read for extre crispy and juicy LULZ! -
Reasoning with her can often confuse her. We suggest you partake in this activity. -
Somehow I see this happening to her sooner than later.
-
Oh noes! -
Unfortunately she can't seem to know good advice when given to her. -
Yes, she did. -
Aaaawwwww she thinks there's no article. -
FoxyFoxChick showing the world how clueless she really is. -
Her mom. Taken over by de mans.Seriosly. -
Doesn't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. -
One of her white knights get owned. -
This caused far too many people to LOL. -
Continuation. This won him over 9,000 free internet. -
Sreiosly? We hadn't noticed. -
We were convinced from the beginning. -
She said it, not us. -
Allies?
A TROLL!
Foxy has just revealed that she is indeed a troll who created an account to pretend to be a lolcow, technically trolling the trolls because they were unwittingly trolling a troll, trolling the white knights by having them defend a troll, and trolling furries by giving their community a bad name... wait, furries were never good. Disregard that.
External Links
- foxyfoxchick Her DevianTART account. Drop by and give her a visit. -Currently Deactivated
- Her "brother's" account Could be a sockpuppet. Troll for extra lulz.
- Email: [email protected]
|
FoxyFoxChick is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
|
FoxyFoxChick is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |