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Paul "Fetch" Carnes
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Warning! Paul recently stole money from Occupy Boston. You can help by having him arrested |
Paul "Fetch" Carnes is a ridiculous queer tool who gained instant e-fame in 2007 when he promised to raise an army and confront Anonymous. It was instantly obvious to Anonymous that his video address was a furious ball of repetitive nothing, and even though it was clear in a very short period of time afterwards that Mr Carnes was intentionally pushing Anon's buttons to fill a void in his life that can only be replaced by raw, unprocessed attention, they still reciprocated the only way they know how.
Sometime later in 2011, Paul returned to use Occupy Boston as his personal army.
Background
2007 was a busy year for Anonymous. Among other things, they trolled YouTube user Gay Diamond IRL by prank calling HIM and threatening to burn down his trailer house. This prompted Gay Diamond to delete all of his videos and quit YouTube forever. Anonymous showed no signs of slowing down in 2008; by the middle of January the DoS phase of PROJECT CHANOLOGY had already begun. Anonymous' retaliation against Scientology drew widespread news coverage, and the attention of idiots like Paul Carnes.
Mrfetch
On Friday January 25, 2008, under the user account mrfetch, Paul Carnes uploaded a video entitled "ANONYMOUS Stand Down!!!," in which he "confronted" Anonymous. Carnes instantly became a YouTube billionaire.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS Stand Down!!
Carnes' first video. He wore a wife-beater. He-whore uniform MUST!
Paul orders Anonymous to stand down— eleven (11) times. He then appeals to YouTubers to "unite as a tube," and threatens to destroy any Anonymous who choose not to "surrender." He promised to reveal his plan of attack—as megalomaniacs often do—in a second video that he would post on Monday.
On January 27, Carnes dropped his own fake dox in the comments for his video, either as a diversion or as a first attempt at raising a personal army. By January 28, his real dox were all over YouTube Gone.
ANONYMOUS Where's Yo Brain At?
Several Mrfetch videos are missing, deleted or removed by Paul Carnes.
Who is Paul Fetch?
Paul Fetch is a faggot who has stood up for honkie rights, men's rights, fart huffers, cocks and nuts countless times both in real life and online. On April 17, 2008, Paul Fetch took place as self-appointed leader of Anonymous and got owned later in October. Since that time, he has done a lot of bullshit, destroying lulz on the Internet. Even now, with a massive following and tons of support from all directions, Paul has refused any offers to appear on radio or TV (because he hasn't had any amirite?) preserving his time for leading the single greatest group on the face of the planet. Funny thing is that Anonymous has no leader and that faggot trailer trash crackerbun quit making videos sometime in the begining of October. He now makes idiotic videos on Hotties.org and he currently resides in sweet home Alabama and watches NASCAR.
Other Videos
Carnes made three more videos before being thoroughly exposed.
ANONYMOUS This Is War
Monday, January 28, 2008. Paul tells Anonymous that they'll never find him, then says that he's building an army. Paul says he'll announce the first attack on Friday, Friday, gotta attack anonymous on Friday.
ANONYMOUS Gets Attacked!!!
Paul claims Anonymous tried to prevent him from uploading his next video. This "attack" led him to make a new account under the name Paulfetch. Carnes unleashed his attack. As it turned out, his attack relied heavily on user participation. Here is his simple two step plan:
- Create a new account on YouTube and complain about Anonymous until Anonymous feels bad and quits.
- Infiltrate Anonymous and act as lulz-killers by interfering with raid plans.
Carnes promised to return on Wednesday, February 6. He explains that he will address two video responses in favor of his cause, and two video responses against his cause.
ANONYMOUS Inside Info
—Paul Fetch |
Unfortunately for Paul, it seems that he had trouble finding any video responses that supported him. Seeing his hopes of diverting a massive online army to his own ends fade, Paul basically apologizes for being so darn hard on Anonymous. He then spews something incoherent about net neutrality and digital freedom before playing clips from three video responses criticizing him. If Paul himself weren't enough, each of the clips will make you want to swallow a gun barrel. After each Paul mumbles something about the awesome talent on YouTube. He concludes with this statement:
—Paul Fetch, taking the bait |
Paul wouldn't say when the next video would be posted, as hackers continue to attack him and prevent him from posting (even though he posted this video without a problem). But he promised that this video would REALLY be his strike against Anonymous, and would give them something to think about. Really. For real this time.
Trivia
- Paul Carnes served as co-chairs of the 2011 Latino Pride steering committee.
- According to Boston Pride : "Paul Carnes is an engineer, author, and entrepreneur. He comes to us from the southern state of Alabama, where he spent much of his timefighting for equal rights. He is serving his second term on the Alabama State Executive Committee and was the Southeast coordinator for Equality Alabama. He has also served in the board of the Equality Fund of Alabama and as director of fundraising. Paul was an important force in getting the first openly gay politician in Alabama elected. Paul moved to Boston to attend Harvard Business School." Confused too huh ?
- In the past Paul has refered to himself as the "Leader of Anonymous"
- Paul has tried unsuccessfully to have this article DMCA'd and baleeted.
- Mrfetch was kicked out of Boston Occupy, after stealing and misusing the groups funds. That anyone would trust Paul with money is confusing and infuriating.
Fetch Exposed
—Paul Fetch |
So it turns out Carnes hoped to put together a cabal of 12 super-Anony-spies to infiltrate Anonymous and steer the group in the "right" direction. In relation to this goal, Carnes feared that Anonymous would destroy itself, or that someone like Mark Bunker would beat him to the punch.
Carnes explained all of this via Skype to Cyanterrorist and rickyricardo123, who promptly uploaded the conversation to YouTube in two parts.
The Skype Implosion
—A very funny person |
Carnes eventually pulled himself together. On April 26, he published a video under the cheerful and somewhat suggestive title of I Want You. In the video, he makes the following statements:
- Okay so went onto by YouTube account today. I lost about 1000 subscribers. Give or take. Maybe a few hundred, I don't know.
- Well let me tell you something: I took over Anonymous. Now I'm the leader. That's not going to change.
- Anonymous is an opportunity to get things right.
- The Skypecast will be held on April 30th. . . . It's going to be a Skypecast, where you can ask me questions.
Fast forward to April 30th. During the Skypecast, Fetch yakked and yakked and yakked. Somebody finally played a soundbit yelling at Fetch to shut the hell up, and after three minutes of agreeing that he should be quiet, Fetch finally shuts his mouth and lets some people talk. Fetch then nearly cries when the people who were hosting it with him who he thought were his friends turned out to be trolls and told him what they really thought of him. After some serious RAGE, Fetch is asked what makes him qualified to be Anonymous' leader. Fetch first pretends not to hear the question, and then when it is repeated, he leaves the Skype session. The owner of stoppaulfetch.comBALEETED was win enough to save the whole thing and upload it (in eight parts) to both to his website and YouTube.
Paul Surrenders
As of 7/10/08 (10/7/08 for Americans) Paul made a video surrendering to Anon. Particularly lulzy is the fact that he considers his relationship with Anonymous to be like an IRL relationship where anon would smack him around and he would take it like a good little whore. What a fag. It is unofficial that he is really surrendering, as in the video he will lie A LOT, so don't get your hopes up. He will most likely bail out of the Surrender in his next video. A side note, whoever called the people of the democratic party to troll them about Paul is a winrar.
He is also creating a new Group called "Teh Hotties", link to site in in the External Links Section.
TL;DR Paul realized that he can't lead anonymous, and now he has a group of fags that actually like him, and are somehow much sadder than him for that fact.
Paul; NOT DEAD YET
This is a joke right ?
His turnaround
Ironically, during the April 2011 election, Paul Carnes was crowned leader of Anonymous. He now resides in a palace in Långkatt, capital of Chanopolis, and enjoys fresh lolis daily, as well as total control of the faceless, anarchic entity.
Actually, Paul can never be turned around other than presenting for a doggystyle fuck. He continues to try to use Anonymous as his personal army, and no one cares. Currently, Occupy Boston is actively looking to have Mr Carnes tried for fraud, money laundering, and aggravated assholism.
Originally from Dothan Alabama; Paul is currently hiding out somewhere in Boston Massachusetts Florida. More recently Okeechobee, Florida to be exact. For whatever reason is dating a fellow fag named Thomas Nast, who also happens to have an extremely shady history. It is also important to note that Paul claims he plans to quote "do a book tour and explore China soon". Here's hoping he's trafficked to a gwei lo farm where his bones and organs will be harvested and sold to China's thriving traditional Chinese medicine market...if he actually goes, that is.
See Also
External Links
mrfetch- PaulFetch
- FetchResponds
- MyBMWOW Newest account
- MaskTour Newest account as of 2014
- OccupyFetch Mirrors of some of Fetch's videos and other related faggotry
- PAULFETCHISTHEBEST - an admittedly brain-damaged fanboi
- Paul Carnes Official Facebook
- Paul's Abandoned Facebook
- Google Trends shows Paul's literal 15 seconds of fame
paulcarnes.com Newest Website- paulfetch.com New vanity site hinting at his glorious return as leader of Anonymous
- BMWOW.com Another new website, don't forget to call Paul, Director of VIP Relations at (347) 746-0269
- Begging at Rockethub
XTube, lolBaleeted but you can watch his Xtube intro video here!- Stickam Profile
- mrfetch MySpace
- mrfetch "other" MySpace
- southeast equality Alabama MySpace (previously run by Mr Fetch)
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Paul "Fetch" Carnes is part of a series on Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Paul "Fetch" Carnes is part of a series on "Leaders" of Anonymous
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INDIVIDUALS Barrett Brown | Darr | Eric Bauman | Jackal | Kirtaner | KYAnonymous | Magoo | moot | Neuro | r3x | Paul "Fetch" Carnes | Rfjason | Rorschach | Ryan | Sabu | Splongcat | Starkiller88 | The Gentleman | WBM | zaiger FACTIONS |
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