Insane Clown Posse

Juggalos are epic lolcows
One page alone is not enough...
Those bound for Shangri-La just got their own page!!

The Insane Clown Pussies (Or ICP, for short) are a talented white rap group. Their first choice for their name was "Incestuous Child Pornography", but that was already trademarked by a certain organization. Known for their raw portrayal of the hardships of middle-class life in the dangerous suburbs and for their high-contrast makeup, the ICP astounds critics by continuing to produce what they themselves consider to be music, but what most musicologists consider to be syncopated autistic tantrums. With their predictable lyrics, makeup, merchandising empire, quasi-Christian message (e.g., God hates fags, rainbows are magical), and gallons upon glorious gallons of free Faygo, they have amassed a devoted fanbase who are referred to as "Juggalos", who live their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Posse in order to earn a place in Shangri-La (a Juggalo-only Heaven).

Some argue that this face-painted army is one of the most powerful underground organizations on Earth, and that they inspire fear in the hearts of many. After all, there is nothing quite as terrifying than a 13-year-old boy wearing make-up and swearing in a nine-minute YouTube video. If you aren't "down with the clown," then you best watch your back, because they're packing hatchets. Or are they meat cleavers? They aren't quite sure themselves.

The Band

Excuse me, sir, you appear to have some Santorum on your face...

Simply put, the Insane Clown Posse are a posse of clowns who are insane and cannot rap for shit. Although their exact mental illness is unspecified, an educated guess would be a combination of Asperger's Syndrome, Tourette's Syndrome, Down Syndrome, and barely repressed homosexuality - the latter manifested in a flamboyant drag act with heavy application of semen-based makeup, culminating in the symbolic ejaculation of Faygo, a cheap soda brand, over a crowd of eager teenage boys. In a press release, Joseph Bruce (the band's founding member) said that a number of their band members and fans are declared homosexuals and, although he mentioned no names, he added "They're the ones wearing clown make-up."

ICP's humble beginnings start in the secure suburbs of Detroit, Michigan when the two young gentlemen who would go on to create Insane Clown Posse decided to move into the ghetto and try their hand at being a real street gang by the name of Inner City Posse. The only problem with this fantastic plan was that Faggy 2 Dope and Violent Gay couldn't stop sucking dick long enough to do what most credible street gangs can do, which is learn to fight.

	“	"We was a gang. A ruthless, inner city, southwest Detroit street gang. But... only this gang wasn't so ruthless seem's as how we always got our asses kicked every night."	„
	—-Violent Gay

	“	"Foot Locker called and wanted to start a shoe store in my ass cuz i constantly had a fuckin' shoe up in it yo."	„
	—-Faggy 2 Dope

	“	"And that's where everybody went for the latest styles. We had Bally's, Nikes, FILA, Adidas, all hanging out of our ass."	„
	—-Violent Gay

	“	"They just said that they just had this calling, that switched totally from the whole, I guess, gangsta-gangsta type thing to the whole, what is now, Insane Clown Posse."	„
	—-Because apparently getting the shit kicked out of you by Detroit niggers every night and indulging their interracial anal shoe insertion fetishes is the official origin story of Insane Clown Posse

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After being forced to retreat back to the safety of their mothers' basement, they realized that being gangsta wasn't their strong suit and conceded to a life of wearing makeup and rapping about murder, carnivals, and Christianity.

ICP rose to fame after Disney kicked them off their record label, Hollywood Records. Disney claimed this was because of "explicit" lyrical content, but it was more likely because they didn't want a bunch of rebels like ICP associated with their fine family entertainment. They were thereafter funded by a genuine independent record company owner in order to boost their "sellability" to the masses. The band supposedly comes from Detroit, and as a result, thrive like a locust swarm in the suburbs, where more privileged white teenagers and grown men and women can pretend that their lives are shit.

PROTIP: The fat insane clown is Joseph "Violent Gay" Bruce, Joseph "Faggy 2 Dope" Utsler is the skinny insane clown.

Music

Insane Clown Posse's violent rap message, extreme behavior, extreme halitosis, and extensive merchandising range are all the things your mother warned you about clowns with mental health issues, and as such are adored by the downtrodden misfits from the bottom rung of society. While few of these fans have ever had it as tough as Violent J. in his suburban neighborhood, they nonetheless identify with the profound wisdom they find in the lyrics of their songs such as "I'm a freak show coming to your house, standing at your porch, chewing on a dead mouse," "You're nuts, we want your nuts. Please, oh please, fuck dirty butts (sluts)," and of course "You know what I'm sayin'? I walk into a bitch's house, walk up to they mom, grab 'em by the face and say 'Fuck off!'" Saying "fuck off" to mothers, dirty butts, and chewing on a dead mouse are some of the many important aspects of day-to-day Juggalo life.

The average reaction to an ICP song.

The musical style of ICP as simulated by an MD-GRAPE supercomputer.

The Anti-juggalo Rap: The only rap worth listening to.

	“	a juffalo is a diss to juggalos never call us juggalos juffalos	„
	—acdcking123456789, who obviously obtained his GED.

Fuckin' magnets, HOW DO THEY WORK?

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Fuckin' Magnets

Moar info: Fuckin' Magnets.

Howard Stern Radio Show

In order to understand the mentality of a Juggalo, one must first look at exactly how committed to their violent message the leaders of this notorious gang are. An example of the fearless nature of the Insane Clown Posse was captured on video in 1998 after an interview on the Howard Stern Show.

Violent Gay and Faggy 2 Dope participate in a captivating radio interview about their genuine badass nature and the frequency with which they commit violent acts and go to jail, because the police are always trying to lock up the clowns. Someone calls in and refers to the group as wiggers, which Violent Gay objects to on racial grounds. As a member of the wegro community he is outraged.

Haters continue to phone in about how much they think the group sucks after the main interview, and they return in to the studio with the typical macho swagger of men wearing make-up. An uppity nigger calls in and makes the ridiculous assertion that ICP are in fact merely imitating black people with their original rap stylings. Tough words follow, and the Posse invites him to come to the studio for a free ass-kicking, Posse-style.

A wild negro appears, who works for the show and challenges them on behalf of his primitive race. Despite all the evidence pointing to the fact that they are visibly shitting their pants at this point, it is of course some cunning ruse, possibly to buy time to get their hatchets. Or meat cleavers. Faggy 2 Dope rocks in a chair, saying nothing at all, while Violent Gay suddenly remembers that he can't go to jail today and decides that he doesn't want to fight anymore and wants to be friends.

The negro community may have won this round, but the YouTube comments from Juggalos assure that this man would have been killed had they fought.

Marketing

Although a completely terrifying underground serial killer movement, Insane Clown Posse/Hatchetgear/Twiztid/Psychopathic Records manage to sell vast amounts of family-friendly clothing, footwear, books, stickers, patches, energy drinks, action figures, and even board games to people looking for ways to assert their individuality.

“	there are no requirements to being a Juggalo. We don't care if you spend a dime on merch, or if you know the words to every song. If this music touches you, and you get some positive experience from it, we would be honored to have you consider yourself a Juggalo.	„
—I CP

Although ICP asserts the above, it certainly couldn't hurt the chances of your immortal Juggalo soul ascending to Shangri-La to stay tuned to their YouTube Official Marketing Channel, radio show, MySpace clone, and plethora of other media. Besides, all true Juggalos know that you can only kick a person in the ass or balls in officially licensed Hatchet shoes. The ability to paradoxically hate the mainstream while spending your entire paycheck on official manufactured goods because a man dressed as a fucking clown told you to in a fake news report further displays the complex duality that is the Juggalo mind.

Clowns of God

IN THE BEGINNING...

The ICP have been subliminally converting their retard-ass meth addict fans to Christ faggotry. Almost blatantly when they released their recent single, "Miracles", steaming from their latest project-turd, Bang Pow Boom. A huge departure from their usual "work", this somewhat upbeat, thankful song is unexpectedly FERVENTLY AND ANGRILY DEFENDED BY ALL JUGGALOS AS A DEEP AND MEANINGFUL, FUNNY SONG!

Fans and ICP theologians first suspected this through subtle hints left in the "thank you" section of the cover sleeves and the profound, esoteric nature of "Miracles". A song that takes the time to appreciate things like fuckin' gravity, pelicans, magnets, and rainbows, all while disdaining the materialistic perspective on the universe. Little will change for the fans, though. They will continue to call out to God for guidance in-between meth binges and convenience store shifts/robberies.

The lulz deepened with their latest release, "Thy Unveiling", which has disenfranchised a significant amount of Juggalos, by hoping that they will find God! It's the shittiest country/rap/rock bullshit ever. It is in the simplest of words, a song written and performed by a middle-aged unfunny clown named "Violent J.", who reveals that God is an evil dark carnival, and pleads that you should find him. Just watch the fucking thing.

	“	Fuck it, we got to tell. All secrets will now be told No more hidden messages …Truth is we follow GOD!!! We've always been behind him The carnival is GOD And may all Juggalos find him We're not sorry if we tricked you.	„
	—I CP, Lyrics in above video

Videos

ICP recruitment commercial

The original Kiss song that ICP stole all of their music aspects from.

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Parodies

Juggalo News Network

The cast of Mega64 mocking Juggalo merchandise.

Eminem trolling ICP IRL.

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ICP Trolled by ZJemptv

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External links

ICP official site Faggotry abounds.
Juggalos on TOW. The Wikipedia definition of a Juggalo.
How to be a Juggalo on Wikihow.
Juggalos on Deviantart Juggalo fan club on Deviantart.
Psychopathic Records on Facebook ICP's gay label on Facebook.]
Livejournal's Anti-juggalo community
JuggaloNews (ICP News Site
FaygoLuvers (ICP News Site)
ICP Message Board (Psychopathic Asylum)
scroll through all the galleries and receive photographic proof that all Juggalettes are fat ugly sluts, and that most Juggalos need to put down the pipe

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Featured article November 6, 2006
Preceded by Jenn Pisstler	Insane Clown Posse	Succeeded by PeppermintPatti

Insane Clown Posse

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