Go-
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—The Hatchet Queen, issuing warning | ||
Go- is a very sexy lady in her forties who is perhaps best known as a juggalette and hand to hand combat expert.
Description
Often haunting #philosophy on EFNet, Go-'s chief purpose in life - followed by baby farming and representing for the ICP Family - is the cultivation of "chat influence," the singleminded pursuit of which she frequently interrupts with abrupt descent into screaming fits of cuntmelt banstorming.
When Go- isn't failing at marriage, posing for Playboy in the late 1980s, or cockteasing no-lives on the IRC she keeps herself busy working at one of her numerous blue collar McJobs, cooking for her amateur armwrestling assistant car finance manager loan shark enforcer husband and squalling brood of miscegenated offspring, doing laundry, or telling the IRC at large about how much she enjoys sex.
Chathaviours
Typical online conduct for Go- will include:
- Turning on a dime from "blathering, airheaded gutterwhore" to "venomous hosebeast shedemon".
- During a noteworthy example of such an incident she:
- Threatened to call an IRCer's workplace and have him fired.
- Threatened to call the same IRCer's roommates to tell them he was a child molester.
- Let this IRCer know that she intended to show up personally to beat him to a bloody pulp (presumably using the "professional assault response" skills she's so fond of mentioning.)
- His crime? Receiving the dildo-in-cunt pics of herself that she sent to him.
- Banning random groups of people from large, public chat channels without reason or warning.
- In the proud tradition of hypersensitive moderators the world over, Go- uses the excuse of "doing my job lol" to banhammer randoms from whichever channel she happens to be in. Usually with an eye to *flirtywinking* her *cuddlepals* in order to gain further status in the eyes of whoever she's decided at the time can help her to achieve same.
- Telling anyone who mentions anything about their employment situation that "she once worked as an X," then proceeding to inform chat that the conversation is now about her.
- The irony here being that, assuming she's worked as many jobs as she claims, she ought properly to be regarded as a completely unemployable loser and total failure at life, rather than as the swashbuckling wisdom-seeker she'd like to paint herself.
- A small sampling of Go-'s professed real/fictitous/who knows jobs follows:
- Security at rock concerts (claims to be "tight" with every act she's ever corralled drunkards on behalf of.)
- A nurse in a non-public school for severely emotionally disturbed kids.
- A professional assault response trainer.
- A real estate agent.
- A used car salesdroid.
- A soft porn model (lolocaustily, this stint on the gash cash game lead to her being ostracized by her entire family and having to move to California.)
- Flirting with opers for fun and profit.
- How far is she willing to go? Well, distributing money and vagpics aside, ops mean enough to her that she was willing to get down and dirty with, well. This guy:
Lord Chunk aka Cheez on EFNet
One time
One time, a crazy nigger attacked her with katanas in Vietnam.
The Ninjets
As mentioned earlier, Go- is a great fan of child-ranching, and no one in the Hatchet Household is a stranger to the Family. These are her ninjets and ninjettes.
Illustrative quotes
Establishing her trailer trash credentials.
<Go-> dwayne, seriously, and i don't mean this as being a bitch.... you wouldn't scare me <Go-> it's a good thing you're a lawyer in training <Go-> i fight like a man <Go-> and i'd kick your ass
<Go-> i'm actually looking forward to burping <Go-> i just burped
<Go> my sister fucked my boyfriend and i found out <Go> i almost killed her <Go> i kicked her door in and threw her down the stairs <Go> and then i had her in a head lock choking her out <Go> and my mom started crying and was going to call 911 <Go> my dad made it home from work in time to save her life <Go> i was kicked out of the house that day and i never went back <Go> she was in the hospital with a broken arm and cracked ribs <Go> i'm also glad my mother called my dad instead of the police <Go> i would have gone to jail for attempted murder
<Go-> what's wrong with eating squirrel?
<Go-> i can go back to the dive bar i was at lastnight and let that short mexican dude try and rub his junk on me again
Establishing her "food-guzzling blimp" credentials
<Go-> i'd love a big pile of morel mushrooms <Go-> maybe sauteed in sherry and served with a ricotta spinach omlette <Go-> i just got back from chowing on sushi <Go-> i make pistachio pie <Go-> when i go home, i'm going to antonio's pizza and ordering their extra large pizza <Go-> i made chicken pesto bake tonight it was sooooo fricken good and i baked it on that slim garlic bread that i get from the market <Go-> and the melted mozzerella cheese over it <Go-> i'm drinking the last of my eggnog <Go-> i'm going to make eggs benedict for nye breakfast <Go-> mmmmm truck tacos <Go-> that made me snort laugh some pepsi up my nose <Go-> i'm here to have my coffee and eggs <Go-> i'm STARVING <Go-> i'm going to eat some mexican food
Laying down some of the saucywink smirklechat she uses to ensnare the Internet-powerful and clueless.
<Go-> do men really dig anal beads? <Go-> pd, would you let some chick shove beads up your ass if she was riding you? <Go-> astro glide would be involved.... <Go-> and nothing says "I LOVE YOU" more than astro glide * Go- offers pd a shot <Go-> from between my boobs <Go-> it's not everyday you get to take a shot of alcohol off a womans chest
<Go-> wofo, will you try and rub your junk on me?
<Go-> well, i'm not a professional on lube <Go-> i've never needed it
<Go-> chibi, do my breasts turn you on? <Go-> every man i have ever dated fell in love with my cans <Go-> as a matter of fact, there haven't been many men who can maintain eye contact with me without looking down.
<cheez> Go- is great <Go-> cheez chowed my favorite sushi <Go-> i sucked his roll lovingly first
Go- style ban-justification
<Go-> kilgore is pujol <Go-> it's verushka <Go-> it's whomever i say it is <Go-> you are my puppet. <Go-> i should ban you for lying <Go-> i'm actually contemplating it.... <Go-> that's it, i'm banning the entire channel
Go-'s patented "lololol really you love me lol hang on FUCK YOU" troll.
<Go-> xartet is waiting for me to invite him out to come and live with me <Go-> he wants me to be his sugar momma <Go-> xartet wants to secretly ask me to marry him and take care of him for the rest of his life <Go-> xartet is in love with me too <Go-> xartet just wants me to take him into my arms and tell him that i unconditionally love him after i kiss him on his forehead <Go-> xartet, do you have pornos running? <Go-> like... are you sitting on a butt plug right now? <Go-> xartet is jacking off right now and typing one-handed <Go-> he wants to milk me like a kitty from detroit <Go-> i wouldn't even let xartet walk my dog <Go-> xartet is just the kind of guy that's sick and tired of going to bed by himself every night... <Go-> the one who stands in the mirror every morning wondering why nobody loves him <Go-> xartet needs to get laid =( <Go-> i doubt xartet even knows what a woman is <Go-> xartet, you don't know what funny is <Go-> he's a victim <Go-> xartet is jealous of Viseus' calvin klein model-like looks <Go-> i'm sure he has downs syndrome <Go-> i bet xartet sits when he goes pee <Go-> xartet probably releases on the floor right under his computer <Go-> xartet, i hope you get an ingrown toenail. and i mean that from the bottom of my heart <Go-> goodnight to everyone except xartet
Fairly typical example of a Go-style rapid fire shitspaz with accompanying lulz-inducing paranoia.
<@Go-> miaux, remember when the drama started about you posting my fb pics in #regret? <@Go-> and she said she deleted them... <@Go-> funny how that works, isn't it? <@Go-> you're a fucking lying white trash piece of shit <@Go-> bougy, how do you think dakur got those pics? <@Go-> did ledbetter give them to him? or olegario, or birdflu? <@Go-> oh, Olegario delivered those pics then? <@Go-> oh, so madmin is the one delivering these pics? lol <@Go-> that's an easy fix. <@Go-> i thought it was too easy when miaux came in here to announce her departure from #regret and let us all know that madmin was now your buddy <@Go-> fucking joke <@Go-> not to mention how they're threatening laudanum too <@Go-> btw, was wendykat wendymomo? <@Go-> miaux quits, ewhore leaves, infinite starts to treat me like shit even though she owes me money <@Go-> some seriously fucked up individuals. <@Go-> and xartet is their little dog
Some startling (if rare) moments of honesty and self-realization
<Go-> Vis, i only talk about myself <Go-> yes, i lose my shit too easily <Go-> i'm too big <Go-> i am fat! <Go-> <--- fucktard
The Vagblinded Multitudes
And the white knight facepalm poonscent nuthugger awards go to...
<TeamAimee> leave Go- alone, you cretinous stalker
<TreeToad> Go- is very hot, if that matters to anyone <TreeToad> Go- should be proud of herself :)
<Go-> i think i'm going to go to bed early <TreeToad> Go-? aww... right now?
Gallery
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See Also
- Insane Clown Posse
- Juggalo
- Anabelle Lotus - The original ninjette.
- Jolene JRyda - Another awesome juggalette mother.
Links of Interest
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Go- is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |