Fated Childrens Forums

Fated Children Forums, or FCF as it’s known by the poor sad bastards that inhabit it, is a spinoff forum of Advent Children Forums, a forum that was run by Summoner Yuna until she ran it into the ground. FCF was raised from the ashes of ACF by a member of the FCF team on ACF, Istvan Kovacs. Being the jobless junkie he was, Istvan Jew off of other former members of ACF to help him pay for FCF. Apparently selling your children for weed doesn’t pay enough these days.

FCF was owned in the end by Istvan, Russell and Lilo, however the latter two were hardly ever seen on the forum itself after a few months. They were the only two staff members known to not abuse their e-power. To make up for the lack of activity by the formal owners, over 9000 members were made staff. While some argued that it was due to seniority on ACF that granted them a position it was basically given to anyone who gave the owner a blowjob.

During the Summer of 2008 FCF went through a snowstorm of dramafests. Mostly conjured by none other than FCF’s favorite dramawhores Channy, Sheena, Vagrant, V and Meteo. After most of the member base had depleeted, Istvan came up with the idea to demod everyone and reinstate a few he thought befitting of the position. This brought up much butthurt over lost positions, specifically in the cases of V and Meteo who complained about the “problems” of the forum. Because a forum with 20 active members and 200 posts daily has a lot of problems, amirite? Eventually, people were demodded. BAWWWing ensued. And over 9000 polls for Admins and Mods were made.

As of Last Thursday, FCF was sold to Lunar, a former nazi admin of ACF’s past. It took them over a month to put the forum back online mainly because Lunar was too dense and she wouldn’t give her tits to V when he offered to help. What was the first thing to happen? Most of everyone was demodded save Lunar, V, Russell, Lilo, Road and Adri. Apparently if you want something done, sell the forum and get someone else to do it.

Sections

Zimbabwe

Zimbabwe serves as the feedback of FCF. Completely non notable except for the staff seXshun subforum which was literally created so that the few active staff could discuss who they wanted to ban and come up with plausible excuses as to why among themselves. In the last shining moments of FCF, the staff section has been run down with 87% threads being reports all made by V.

A Typical FCF Board Meeting

The Hazing Ritual

What's FCF's been reduced to due to lack of forums.

The Hazing Ritual was the place where after you signed up with FCF, you made your introduction thread and the forum elite would decide in a quick snap judgment whether to accept or reject and troll/flame you at every opportunity.

staff sexxshun

The Staff Section is where the elite of the elitist bastards go to fap to themselves all the live long day. Should a member of regular class step foot on sacred grounds, they will be cast out and banned on sight for their tomfoolery. This is the place where most reported posts go, so that the common folk can't see what sort of favoritism is going on. Note: 80% of all reported posts are from V himself.

Vietspam

Vietspam is the regular spam section of FCF. Basically boring, most threads revolve around Sheena, a member so in need of attention every other thread is about her bisexuality or her latest suicide attempts/heart failure, and everyone else on the forum expressing their undying love for her to try and stop her from “attempting suicide” again.

Vagrant also likes to make Vietspam his home where he takes situations about his real life and. Stuff like how he bitches and moans about not having friends outside the internet, which movie is overrated and why, and which video game is best because he says so. Sadly Sheena and Vagrant, both very random individuals, do not conform well together.

Most of FCF’s drama is started in this section before being moved to the drama section to “keep it out of the eyes of the general public” although everyone still ended up posting in it anyway.

General Chat

With sub forums like The Parliament Building which was for serious discussions, dyepl0x which was for ranting, and the Drama Llama section where Channy, Sheena and Dan could go and vent all their sexual frustration for one another through drama, it was maybe the most populated forum. However The Parliament Building became a place of hostility when people trolled Cloudskye’s dead friend thread for the lulz. The Drama Llama section had to be split off from dyepl0x after several member drama threads between DanChanSheens (which it was named secondly after a confirmation between Istvan and V that drama between the three needed to be blatantly and obviously painful to them and the rest of the forum otherwise they wouldn’t stop).If you checked the Drama Llama Section, you’d find that it has the most threads with the highest poastkunt and not a shred of decent reading material.

Tits or GTFO

The Mature Content Section of the forum, run mainly by Lilo (not active enough to assert her power) and mostly filled with requests by V asking every female 18 years and over for her tits. The sections main cash cow is the Channy pr0n thread which has over 9000 replies but no pr0n to speak of. It mostly consists of drama between Channy and various other members willing to take a jab at her self esteem. The lack of n00dz and lulz from that thread has spawned various other spin-off threads including L pr0n and Anti-Channy pr0n.

Role-Playing

The Role-playing section is run mostly by the power couple MeteoBex. The place where people could go and create a version of themselves that would otherwise never exist and fap over each other's writing. Despite the sections incredible lack of activity (with perhaps an average of 10 posts per month with only one RP active) it still deserves its own Moderator, Bexy. Bexy, incredibly inactive herself on FCF, obviously deserves the Mod spot in spite of her not doing anything (much like the rest of the staff) Should anyone debate this, her fugly knight in shining armor e-boyfriend Meteo will come and rescue her, destroying the arguments of everyone in his path with an outpouring of big important words that no one else can be bothered to look up in order to argue back.

Lost Members

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to reminisce on those we have lost from FCF to RL due to needless dramas. Many were loved, but many were easily forgotten. They could simply not keep up with the drama, and suddenly, real life looked a whole lot better than inside jokes, attentionwhoring and fake n00dz. FCF had many members to account for, just over 400 active. Those that are listed are the ones who actually made an impact upon the forum and its members. Some argue that FCF will be redeemed under its new leader, but it's clear to see that with so many precious souls lost already, its way past the point of redemption.

Hirotoki - Infamous for his fanch
The Slasher - The elusive robot banana man
Tetsujin - The loveable German Tetty-bear
Corperal Punishment/Virgil - The Admin with a heart of gold, and no face
firehahahahahaha - The pedobear with a heart of hentai
Harley - The chubby emo who no one could bear to hate
Vamos - The cute girl who loved to play Pirates
Phoenix Angel - The... well, nobody really cares about her
Dalik - The graphic artist who monitored the unactive RP forum
Buster Sword - The first Black to set foot on FCF soil, and the first to leave it
Dacon - The one who told the truth by saying "You're all cunts" when he left
Arcana - The great Archie, known for his posh cockney.
Wander - Some... random guy from ACF, apparently awesome
Althena - The easily forgettable Brit wannabe
Maleficent - The poster girl for drunken hottness
Kelz - The cute little mascot from New Zealand
Giovanni/Tropical/Amy - The third leg in the tripod against the Fabled Six
Starfall - Starfag couldn't take rejection any longer
Istvan - Former owner, but they say that he still lurks using his gf's account
Vagrant - Famous Diplomat of drama left because the favoritism was too much
Channy - Banned on sight for spreading Meateocock to everyone's email

The AIDS of FCF

In 2009, a group of members finally realized that activity was low and created the "Forum Revival" group. This meant that they got another usergroup in their profiles and did nothing whatsoever. In late 2009 however, a ginger member that everyone had forgotten about returned from the dead. His name was Atticus. Atticus used his mindless posting methods to keep the forum at an average daily post count of slightly above 0. This is also the average braincell count of FCF's members. Throughout that year empty promises of moving the forum from one shit server that keeps crapping out to another shit server kept falling through. The owner Tasha went from one mental illness to another and eventually we reckon died of cancer. We're not sure though.

In 2010, yes we are all surprised it is still somewhat active, two amazing things happened. Tasha finally sold the forum over to Aaron who won his campaign with, "THE FORUM MERGER!" Aaron owns a half dozen other dead forums that he plans on merging together. But in order for that to happen he has to first, surprise surprise, get some information from Tasha, who is now presumed dead.

Aaron however has managed to do one thing right. He modded possibly the best mod ever, Emily. Emily is a good mod because unlike every other person that has ever been modded in the history of the internet, she didn't grow a great big ecock and become tyrant of the eworld. It might also be because she was made mod of an already dead, rotting forum. Quite an accomplishment indeed. One to write in one's journal about and one that will probably be the most epic entry in said journal for the balance of a decade.

Not much drama occurs in this the decent of FCF. Nothing fabled ever happens. Only a hand full of members remain mostly because their addiction to what once was Advent Children Forums is so strong they can't let go. Its like a porn addiction but more sick and twisted. Among these members are Alexx, Aaron, Emily, Atticus, Russell, Arcana, and Undefined. ~~May God have mercy on their souls.~~ Except nobody really cares who these left overs are anymore, seeing as nobody cares about the forums bottom feeders.

Staff Drama

Jew

V, aka. Aaron, The Man, Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins. A man who has become so dependent on the pictures of underage girls he meets on forums, he goes about trying to rule FCF with an iron fist in order to instate a legitimate ‘tits or gtfo’ rule on FCF. Instated as a Tech Admin, V was one of the few on staff to actually know what he was doing. Up until he had the brilliant idea to bring about democracy to the forums, things were going pretty well. He was virtually invisible on FCF fixing bugs from behind the curtain.

Narcissistic as the Jew is, on every forum he frequents he manages to put his awards gained in ACF’s (a now, long dead, forum) yearly member awards. The awards that show how much ass he kissed to try and make people like him. What’s ~~amazing~~ idiotic is that he has ACF awards on forums that branched off of ACF to talk about how shit it was.

V is often found trolling any thread with a female in it, however you wouldn’t it call it trolling if it doesn’t offend every single person on the fucking planet. His favorite threads are those with Sheena being the front runner, be it through psychological problematic means or just comparing her fake breast size to the next member. The two were often found in their 121 chitchat thread, planning for an American canoodle. However the activity of said thread died with the flailing pleas of V begging for Sheena to text, call, or e-sex him. Sheena and V will deny any wild accusation about a possible relationship forming between the two of them, because nothing serious could ever form between an unfuckable polygamist Jew and a lesbian anorexic.

Some wonder why V doesn’t just open up Google and search for tits to get off the FCF females backs. The reason for this is that he hasn’t figured out how to turn safe search off. facepalm.

V’s reign of power is not over. Before the indefinite closing of FCF V went batshit crazy. Following in the footsteps of Felix Xelon and Darkbeat of ACF’s Ghost Past, he went mad with e-power, reporting and warning anything he saw even slightly offensive posted by anyone he didn’t like. Victims of his actions were Buster Sword, Vagrant, Channy, L, and most recently Dee; all who fell before the mad Jewish reportfag.

	“	Dee, if anyone here is a troll it is Aaron. Now answer his 3 questions so you can cross his bridge	„

V has been recently found on sub-forums, trying to get the keys to the kingdoms from the Admins in the vain hope of bringing forward a new fora, The One Forum to Rule Them All. In return for these keys he bribes the forum owners with an admin spot. His main target? Lunar of FCF so that he may merge whatever remaining activity it will have with his own two failing forums FFOF and Fool's Gold. Apparently hoarding money isn't enough for Jews these days, they have to have all the forums too. He still has not unbanned Terk Benson.

	“	fact of the matter is that there are billions of communities out there being run a billion different ways, aaron has the uncanny knack of joining a community and demanding everything be done his way and then forms a group of tit-pic begging counterparts who jump on his bandwagon and ride it into hell. don't get me wrong, SOME communities need a kick up the ass, but some need Mr. Freed to stfu/gtfo and keep his own brand of jewish justice to forums that "get" him, i.e. FFOF, FG, LOCP, ACF.	„
	—The irony behind this statement is that these are all forums V was Admin of before they all fell.

Bexy

One Bexy von Spencington will never let the forum forget that she is blonde and from Manchester. Her hobbies include watching anime, especially Naruto, playing WoW where she hooks up with hot blonde Swedish guys who pay for her hacked WoW accounts, and drawing fictional characters for her RP’s, making her boyfriend Meteo’s characters especially hot, to make up for the lack of physical attraction she has for him irl.

Bexy’s pride and joy is the RP section, and she’ll do anything to defend it. Despite the fact that the section has only ever had 5 RP’s active at a time since the opening of FCF, that doesn’t stop her. Bexy was removed from staff due to the fact that the RP section had failed ever since most of the RPers started drama with eachother. Some argue it's because the new forum needed less staff, however the answer lies in the fact that she broke up with the forum teddy bear and became the new scapegoat for hatred for Aaron.

Bexy broke up with her ex Meteo which caused major butthurt amongst the forum. She was soon seen as the villian for ruining the most perfect e-lationship known to man, however this was quickly remedied when Channy posted his n00dz. Bexy's reasoning for breaking up with him was that the distance was too great, he put too much pressure on the relationship to make it perfect he was unfaithful through and through, she was a lesbain. The real answer was that he was too ugly for her. It took Bexy TWO YEARS for her to see what the rest of the forum already saw.

Channy

Channy’s claim to fame began with her self-titled porn thread, which contained very little porn and yet, over 9,000 replies. The most she ever managed to throw up were panty and bra shots, and even those were tame. When you get your e-notoriety for bra and panty shots, that's really saying something. Mm, hot.

She's the common attention whore of FCF, one of many. She camwhores up the Fated Children Mugshot Thread in competition with Tennyo's breast pics and Sheena's half a face (the other half is cut up rly).

Channy has been noted for leaving a trail of broken hearted, e-boyfriends in her wake. In 2007, she began to warm up to the infamous stalker member of the forums Starfall/Simon/Dickwad. Both sharing plesantries via text messages and phone calls, and enjoying e-sex on MSN every night. All the while enoying a nice hearty side of Meatosmex. But once she got bored, and got lack of pleasure from masturbating to the git from Oxford, she quickly moved on to even more common muck in the shape of Istvan. All the while, leading V on into a state of depression which didn't seem to last all that long until Sheena picked up on these sloppy seconds.

After dating Istvan and then breaking up for the ~~first~~, ~~second~~, ~~third~~, seventh time, Channy made a leaving thread on FCF, apologizing to many and leaving most speechless. Claiming to leave forever, it seemed only to last until the two got back to fucking each other again, considering it was only a month before Channy returned to FCF, seemingly naive enough to believe others had forgiven her.

	“	I hate the irish <4444	„

Channy continues to burn those bridges (to nowhere!!) she once mended by trolling Sheena in every thread she makes for the lulz. She went over the top when she emailed everyone important on FCF Meteo's crocked cock and proof of them cybering together (which Aaron continues to protest that it's doctored). The resulted in a perma ban for Channy, by doing something that completely abided by FCF rules which was not causing drama on the boards, and yet still got punished for it. She continues to lurk in the shadows, lolling at the graveyard of the forum due to lack of common interest.

Istvan Kovacs/The Master

He's lurking in the shadows, lulzing your internets.

Istvan owned the first third of FCF, or he did anyway until he decided to sell it and desert the forum. He stole his second commonly used username from Doctor Who, a show this little Brit wanked to several times a day. Istvan ran the forum with a fist full of drugs, and an attitude that consisted of cba, do it later. The more common solution for members was asking one of the moar arsed Admins to do whatever needed to be done, which was usually just a name or usertitle change.

	“	boy, girl, whatever, makes no difference, they both have holes imho	„
	—Istvan admits that after having to wait 3 years, he would gladly do anything.

Istvan, much like Aaron, had a celibacy rate of 3 years, broken by none other than the Mary Magdalene of the forum, Channy. Much like all relationships, Istvan fell into the grips of his woman with promises of tits and ass, and allowed her drama to reign supreme over the forum. Unable to control his woman, Istvan sat back as he watched his forum disintegrate into nothingness.

To save his beloved forum, Istvan tried to enforce a new set of rules which instated a 3 point warning system, dealing away with favouritism that had been a problem in the past with staff. Treating everyone the same of course did not settle well with many. V was the first to rebuke these rules claiming that they sucked and that the forum would be much better off using the rules from his own forum, Fools Gold, which btw is failing miserably. Aaron continued to make claims that others followed his decision in saying that “I’m talking to 5 people on msn who agree with me that the rules suck” when in another thread he had admitted to “only speaking to 2 people on msn from FCF”. Istvan refused to give in, and required others to post their opinions. Nobody came forward because nobody gave a shit.

Istvan up and sold FCF to member Lunar, a former admin of ACF, and abolished all rules to FCF giving the green light for a free for all of trolling. No bannings, no warnings or reports until Lunar took possession. This was of course, AGAIN refused by V who continued to report and warn people for the tiniest thing. After a random tirade of 10 reports from V, Istvan hastily closed the forum down to prevent any further drama. As of last Thursday, Istvan has left the internet, but continues to lurk under his gf's account.

Lilo

Mature Content/Forum Mistress hard at work.

Lilo owns 1/3 of FCF and runs the Mature Access forum, a section she sought to protect the forum by ensuring that minors weren’t allowed in. Without minors, no underage porn could be posted, and with no underage porn, the forum (obviously) could maintain an air of respect. However due to admins such as Sango, members who weren’t 18 were still allowed in the Mature Section, and thus the ruling of the Forum Mistress was forever undermined.

Lilo hardly spends anymore time on FCF due to the fact that she has a real life complete with husband (another member on FCF, a balding man who posted his e-penor) and kids. She still holds her position as Forum Owner because she paid for it once, and for that, she will always hold that position of authority, despite the attempts of other staff members trying to destaff her for inactivity.

Meteorain

He sees you while you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.

Thesaurus extraordinaire. He once claimed to have the perfect relationship with another FCFer, Bexy, only to retort a few months later admitting that no such perfection could exist. Maybe Bexy opened his eyes to the truth that perfection can’t exist in a relationship when you have fear, doubt, mistrust and inf-e-delity welling up inside.

(12:40 AM) Meteo: I FIXED M: I need to figure out how to get to Canada 
(12:40 AM) Meteo: I FIXED M: I need to lick your vagina sweetie...my tongue belongs there 
(12:41 AM) Channy [ Checkma: Not to mention your fingers and your cock too. 
(12:42 AM) Meteo: I FIXED M: anything and everything to pleasure your beautiful spot 
(12:42 AM) Channy [ Checkma: Hehe. :3
(12:42 AM) Meteo: I FIXED M: I crave Channyn00dz more then ever now 
(12:43 AM) Meteo: I FIXED M: I know you have a beautiful body and a very photogenic pussy

Meteo, being the chivalrous knight he was encouraged Channy that she wasn’t all that bad to look at. This was followed by a trade of n00dz with the little whore and some heavy cybering. He can be commonly found among the Fated Mugshot Thread, commenting on the appearance of other girls, especially of the blonde variety.

He’s known for using his big words to win any argument. This is mainly because no one can be bothered to bring out a dictionary and argue back with him. He gained his power of authority through seniority on ACF, and continues to wield his power with the afterthought that a forum of spammers needs Order. He exacts this power in favor of his friends, or in other words, the Fabled Union, yet continues to 'remain unbiased'. THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Meteo will refute any comments about him being in an e-lationship because he says e-lations only exist on the internet. lolwat. Last we checked he visited his gf only once and tagged along with two other girls for the job because he was too big of a pussy to see her alone. He will also argue that in a true loving relationship, no presence of lust or attraction can be allowed; he argues this because it’s in his favor considering he’s a fugly ass fuckface that Bexy wouldn’t otherwise be seen with, were he not 5,000 miles away.

	“	I'd go so far as to say the development of true, eternal love involves no lust at all. Love can never be supported by a superficial infatuation such as lust.	„
	—And this is why he shall forever remain a virgin.

Even this turned out to be false, as he was hastily thrown aside by Bexy because he no longer interested her. The girl grew up, realised he was ugly, and made a fast dash for a hotter specimen. Dan, battered and bruised, made a goodbye thread for FCF. Once he left, his n00dz were handed out as flyers. Upon seeing this, he came back only to make an even BIGGER goodbye thread. A few days later he replied saying that he would return even though everyone lost mucho respect for him. He now lurks as if nothing ever happened.

Road

Mumble's official arch-enema and supposed brother of his arch-enema's ex-girlfriend. Part of the Fabled Six and is infamous for spending too much time improving the flow and development of the forum, but admits he doesn't care for its members, not one bit, Much less care to be the arch-nemesis of Mumble. He is as big a Batman fanboy as his master, Dacon. Though it can be speculated on who is the real Batman of this bunch.

Though details are obscured, he is one of the few stereotypes who refuses to show face, which gives doubt to many as to how old he actually is. Which adds to the fact of his low self esteem or the incentive of being Batman. A true hero, he will not hesitate to hit below the belt to his fellow members, even more so to his arch-nemsis, which adds to the mini dramas going around FCF before it's downfall. Before it closed down, many bore witness to the supposed final showdown between this enigma and his clownish counterpart. Which ended in the clown's murderous rage towards him, he is now declared an hero to the Fabled Six for scrubbing off his arch-nemesis temporarily.

Recently, he had grown tired of his nemesis' presence and is now hostile towards him. Only time will tell if he will fall for the Pencil Magic trick or Kick Me signs his eternal rival has laid out for him.

Russell

Russell owns the last third of FCF, and second most active owner. He lurks in the shadows, doing the bidding of anyone who asks about the FCF Quiz or Awards, which has everyone voting for their bestest bumchums in the worst popularity contest since the 2008 American Election. He provides no real substance to the forum as he has yet to post faec and refuses to meet the demands of Meteo, Bex and Sheena in an irl get together. Supposedly he suffers from immense loss of self esteem, but as the ladies of FCF have taught us, if you hate yourself, post tit pics.

Russell has promised to make a website for FCF of substance, but as the direct topic of FCF has yet to be determined, no website could be created. Instead, he remains lurking on msn until the rebirth of FCF where he’ll begin the third round of FCF Awards, a ceremony that will award the remaining ten people left considering the insurmountable loss of members in FCF since its opening in 2007.

Sir Integra/Sango/Adri

The bottomless pit with a full spread in front of her.

Sango may not stir up drama like all the other fags of FCF, but she's always there to stick her nose in and correct someone's grammar. It doesn't matter who it is. She loves to be the know it all. Nobody has anything really to do with Adri, mainly because she’s too boring and although people like her, they don’t love her. The only drama she was ever involved with was when she ruthlessly banned Shahab for calling her a bitch. If that’s all it takes to get her motor running then watch out FCF, Sango’s wielding the Banhammer with a vengeance!

	“	His death was necessary.	„
	—Here she chides the forum into believing the reasons behind Shahab's relentless banning.

She often tries to get attention but making plenty of threads about losing weight because she's fat and insecure. However every time she attempts one of these it always ends up hijacked by Sheens, because the insecurity of someone who's physically perfect is more important than the fat one. She tags along with Bex and Sheena, trying to involve herself as much as possible in their reindeer games, however it will never be enough. What’s more though is that Meteo, Bex’s boyfriend, goes to meet Adri on an almost monthly basis. The two of them engage in Skype webcam conversations with the other half of their party, enjoying their little slumber parties. However common sense tells us that the two of them are really shagging behind Bex’s back. Besides, you can’t just go to a girl’s house and expect to get nothing in return. Especially someone from the internets.

Sheena

Spokesgirl for ~~nike~~ eating disorders.

	“	My everyday matters and relationship matters are NOTHING to do with you, so please don't use them as a way to get into my e-panties please. My panties are secure waiting for when they are to be removed.	„
	—Here we have Sheens telling Starfall to fuck off because her e-panties belong to Bex.

The Mary Sue of the forum. Sheena will do anything and everything in her power to gain the attention of anyone on the boards, ranging from leaving threads to anorexia threads and to PMS threads. Now Sheena has never left the forum. She may possibly suffer from anorexia, we don't know. But her pictures prove that her bones don't infact protrude from behind her skin like a good little anorexic should.

Sheena only has one enemy; Channy. The two will cause needless drama with one another over anything. If one of them is seen making a post or a thread, the other is not far behind to troll it. Noticeable events include the sex threads between Channy and Istvan bragging about their fucking, and how Sheena came barging in with her posse to demean anything flavorful in the threads. The last three times Sheena made an attempt at a leaving thread for the reason that “certain people won’t stfu about my psychological disorders” and when people apologized assuming it was them she would retort “no wayt, its irl ppl to.” Because the best thing to do is to leave a forum for the irl people who are making fun of you. Channy would later troll these threads laughing at the fact that Sheena has an eating disorder, and make it publicly known that she’s an attentionwhore. Sheena has 'left' the forum several times, each with its own reason, but everytime she's proven that like Herpes, it just keeps getting worse.

Sheena once had her own “Official ‘We Love Sheena’ Thread” thread (which she had started herself) but the thread failed due to lack of enough people to care about the little cutter. It lasted only 12 pages, and even then the final pages were about France and whether or not is has a President or a Prime Minister. Apparently, it has both. Epic thred r epic.

Sheena remains as a Mod on FCF even though she’s hardly done anything worth noting as a Mod. owait, there was this one time when she hard-deleted a few months worth of posts and threads, reducing many popular members poast kunts by OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND. Obviously, she knows what she’s doing. Then again when you’re busy cutting your wrists and face (only to post a picture the next day as proof that you hadn’t), eating a piece of lettuce to purge 10 minutes later, and oding on over the counter drugs (lol Advil), it’s reasonable to understand that you don’t have enough time to Moderate a forum properly.

	“	Put on more weight...then you might bleed more.	„
	—Sheena's bestest best fwand giving her tips on how to cut better.

Member Drama

Buster Sword

Token Black member #1. Everyone loves Buster. Everyone. Simple as that. Buster is the self proclaimed God of FCF, reinforced by Istvan and following members who loved him from ACF, and only negated by V. Buster never includes himself in any drama. He’s never been known to pick a side, or agree with anyone in any sort of drama related issue. All Buster ever contributes to the forum is debating with V about who has the biggest ego, engaging in mild spam with former spammer of ACF Dee, and comparing his massive niggarcock to Dacon’s.

He also likes to talk about his homoerotic dreams about Dacon which only resulted in reported posts from Aaron. Apparently coming forward about being gay warrants a warning because it’s offensive to the person you’re attracted to.

Cloudskye

Known as the forum’s personal joke, she constantly posts personal topics in the Drama Section or Parliament Building to get people to feel sorry for her, when in reality all it resulted in was rampant text lashings against her character. Her hobbies include losing a grandparent every week, and posting in the ‘interesting facts’ thread with facts that are hardly interesting or factual. Also known as Mini-Sheens.

She's obsessed with fire. Good for her. She'll never get him though, so she should stop wishing and look for a real boyfriend. ~~Rumor has it that this isn't true.~~ Oh well... We'll just have to wait and see. She'll probably end up not getting her own way.

firehahahahahaha

The Poster Boy for Spam, fire loves to cause trouble. When FCF opened, he had an Admin position due to his ... well, no one knows why he was on staff. Back in those days too many people were on staff as it is, and nobody needed a valid reason for their privileges. fire is known for his two brief e-lationships with the cows of FCF, first Channy and then Phoenix Angel. The former hadn’t lasted longer than a month due to the woman’s infatuation for hot British stoners, but the second lasted longer than FCF anticipated.

While the two bombed every forum and thread with giggle smiles and <3’s the two seemed to be in love. It was later revealed that true love can’t stand the test of time when the underage pedophile goes and fucks the neighbor girl, but not before engaging in e-sex with some random forum person. fire really does like to follow in his hero Meteo’s footsteps.

fire apparently had his account hacked and FCF was flooded with hentai and child pornography, a big no-no. While this is hardly believable considering fire himself is a big fan of both art forms he continues to hold up his argument that he didn’t do it but left the forum anyway.

Giovanni

Giovanni/Tropicalpants, otherwise known as Amy. Amy’s personal life is one that doesn’t reach the boards. In fact, she’s so private that people don’t even know what she looks like. She’s posted pics only to take them down moments later, laughing at those who missed the opportunity. She isn’t one to miss an opportunity to rag on the others for posting their personal lives. One of her favorites was joining in with Sheena on the personal attack of Cloudskye, for talking about things nobody needed to know or basically gave a shit about.

A 121 made between Amy and Channy dubbed ‘Radical Feminism’ caused the two to see eye to eye as they bonded over e-lationships with British men. This new found friendship of the two caused jealousy of others, most notably in Sheena. Two former bitchbots can’t reconcile and be friends on a forum. OWTRAGUS AKSHUNS THEES R KIDS. Amy continues to remain impassive to all dramas consisting of anyone, even the two of her bffs against each other. As of last Thursday, Amy had left the internets to be with her mail order hooker.

Hirotoki

Hirotoki is possibly the most missed member of FCF. Joining shortly after it opened, he would raid the shoutbox, speaking to the Admins as if he were their equal. Using language like a paraplegic 10 year old he would kiss ass especially to Istvan, and not soon after the two were bestest bumchums. Hirotoki asked to be a part of staff, claiming that the forum was boring and needed more fun (albeit in the way an 8 year old would say it) and when asked about what languages he knew for coding, he responded with ”fanch, italian, japanese”. fanch soon became one of FCFs greatest memes. The best Hirotoki could have ever hoped for was when he was given an Admin position without ACP access.

Hirotoki posted pictures of himself and his girlfriend (All linked to from random peoples myspace ) Lord wonders why he would use these pictures as fakes. Just before Hirotoki left FCF he tried to pull the whole it was a social experiment shtick. Sadly this fell on deaf ears on FCF as no one gave a shit and he left.

Mumble

The Joker made him the greatest an villian to ever live

Mumble is the meme-man extraordinaire. He’ll take any trend from 4chan and export them to FCF. His most commonly used meme back in 2007 was being the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, applying it to anything and everything that’s remotely colored. Back at ACF he went by many other names, but he was fondly known as Shanks.

Around the summer of 2008, Mumble’s e-girlfriend Morishi (supposed sister to another FCFer, Road) broke up with him because the distance was too great and they needed more time together. This broke Mumble. Whatever was left of his feeble memed mind snapped and in its place manifested a weak demi-human that could only be born from the Joker and Kefka combined. He became an villian. Mumble paraded around FCF, trying to insight lulz wherever he walked, only to leave behind him a wake of destruction and chaos in the shape of pencil magic tricks and enemas.

His popular subject was Road, who was the Batman to Mumble's Joker. The two were inseparable, and FCF was the Gotham of their battleground. Mostly the women of the forum plead with Mumble to return to his old self and get over his loss, however no one seems to realise the substantial pain he is in. Because rly, who can’t get over a woman on the internets they’ve never seen? They really don’t cut him enough slack.

Before FCF closed, Mumble was last seen laughing at all the non-lulzy drama that was being caused due to lack of rules. In desperate need to give the fora a ‘new form’ he wanted to take over for a day and wreak havoc upon its staff, taking away the e-power of all and replacing it with enemas. This was of course ruined when Istvan sold his portion of FCF, leaving Mumble to try and make peace with his inner Joker and become a better man. Mumble was last seen on FFΩF converting all of FCF's old notable members into versions of Dissidia characters.

Peaches

Jason is a trolling fag with a temper. AND HE CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT! He likes to think he's a pirate captain like Tangerine is, who's really a much better captain than he'll ever be. He was banned once for trolling but didn't learn his lesson, so he was banned again. He came back a while later and learned his lesson this time, to troll even more, so he was banned again. Shortly before FCF closed down like a fagboard, Peaches was unbanned once more.

He was banned for trolling again a short while later by Aaron, who actually just used Peaches' history of trolling as an excuse to settle a religious argument. Since Peaches is a Republican, Aaron banned him for being an idiot

Starfall

Starfall, (moar like Starfail, amirite?), was an unknown to FCF; a randomite that came to the boards in hopes of finding a good girl, despite the warnings from his father that there are no girls in the internet. Well he found several. Starfall met and stalked Channy in the end of 2007, followed by Sheena only to figure her out for a useless waste of life, and then Althena only to find out she was too far for him, and then he went back to Channy. But one girl alone wasn’t enough in comparison to the zero girls he’s had all his life. He continued to thirst for more! He kept after Sheena and Althena, despite his reputes about Sheena’s uselessness and Althena being too far away.

Starfall was last seen on another spin-off forum of ACF, congratulating himself on the victory he had over FCF by simply leaving it. His actions however remained touched on the forum by his stalkerish letters received by FCF member Althena, who apparently hadn’t given him her address.

Vagrant

The faceless man cometh. Vagrant refuses to let any of his personal information be disclosed on FCF. On a forum with people so close and tightknit together, nobody knows the name, address or even seen the face of Vagrant. He remains... a Vagrant of the internet.

Vagrant loves to voice his own opinions. He often makes a new thread each week in the GC section with several topics all laced together, ranging from which actress he finds hot (it’s because he likes high cheekbones) to what sort of videogame he would make based of a single dream he had. These topics are usually enjoyed by other members who either simply agree or disagree with Vagrant, though the latter is what usually happens.

He has an ongoing feud with Meteo, though no one knows why exactly. It may be because Vagrant’s main objective for FCF is to get rid of 80% of the useless staff, an action that was once enacted by Istvan and disapproved by all those who lost their e-power. Or it may be because Vagrant has something Meteo doesn’t, and that’s a personality that’s easily relatable and yet hated, rather than one that’s just hated. In regards to all the staff drama, Vagrant was always there to point a finger and raise his e-voice, ensuring that his opinions were at least heard. The only part he’s missing is that nobody gives a shit.

Vagrant constantly whinges about the good days of old ACF and how people used to be different back then. Recounting on the personalities of old Sheena and classic Mumble, he wishes for them to return to the way they once were. And yet still, nobody gives a shit.

C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

The Fabled Six

More like Feeble Sex amirite? Dan, Bex, Sheena, Adri, and old members Alex and Amy. This league of extraordinary morons leads anyone to believe that cliques really do matter in this wonderful world called internets. Named by Channy after she was berated by the group in her porn thread, the Union kept up with the name and now continue to shine on it with pride and arrogance. This group always sticks together, and will always defend one another in the throes of drama, whether their member is in the right or wrong (usually wrong). When your friend is in an argument, you will do anything to save them from the enemy. The mascot for the Fabled Six is Bex’s own Bexlazah, made presumably in the old fashioned trade of n00dz.

The Fabled Six love to break away from the norm and do whatever they feel like. If a theme goes on started by a vote from either Istvan or Pooley, they will start their own theme (i.e Prison Break vs Heroes.). Half of the group loves Heroes and have admitted to fapping to the characters on the show, as well as hoping that they looked as hawt as they did.

	“	I'm a Japanophile, he's the only reason I'm watching it. ¬.¬	„
	—Bexy admits that she finds another man attractive over her own bf. And that she's wapanese.

However recent dramas have left Alex and Amy to break off from the group, and recent meetings have contributed to that as well. As the Fated Six minus one (Amy) got to meet up for the first time in Manchester, it caused great tension amongst the six. Recently, Sheena and Channy drama continued to spill onto the forum, causing even greater division of the group between the remaining four and Amy and Alex. It was later revealed that Amy would pal up with Channy and Ist in a threesome that baffled the remaining members of the group of the fabled. This included Amy dragging her mostly unwilling e-boyfriend into the new posse, thus the creation of the 313374 4.

The Fabled Six now consists of Bex, Dan, Sheena, Adri, Road and Aaron. The latter two members became privileged through promises of making out or having sex with Sheena, the new initiation into getting into the group. Both will be disappointed when she doesn’t put out, or when she doesn’t go to the states due to her psykoligikal dizordurs stopping her. onoes, fabled six is no moar!!

After the break up of the token couple, what fate rests upon the Fabled Six is unknown. Now, Dan will have no interest to ship Bex and Sheena over, and with Adri as a student she's fucked as far as getting to the UK. But now Dan and Adri can finally hook up, just as Bex and Alex have done.

MeteoBex: Meteorain and Bexy.

Truly a couple worth noting. Meteobex have been together (and counting) for two years. They are the genital warts on the cock of e-lationships. A shining example to demonstrate that just like Herpes, they don't go away. This Blondie and the Beast couple started out as friends on the same team of ACF, and the longer the man stalked her, and it became increasingly difficult for her to say no. The couple have been unrivalled as BEST CUPLE EVAAAH up until February of 2008 when competition reared its lust-enticed face.

	“	An internet relationship won't work unless one of you is prepared to move within a short period of time. Or unless you have the patience of meteobex. Otherwise it'll fail.	„
	—V states the obviousness of elationships.

The arrival of Channist proved to be most disheartening for Meteobex. Not only were they not the most notable couple of FCF anymore, but Channist had met in person first! Meteobex would simply not have it. Leaving behind a trail of flamage and butthurt in every thread Channist made, Meteobex attempted to make the point that they were the only true standing relationship on FCF. But with an e-cheating boyfriend, a meet of only one week to amount to and “other priorities in life” rather than getting together full time, how can you not see the true love behind this couple?

URGENT NOTICE: As of Last Thursday, the illustrious perfect couple Meteobex have broken up. Some argue that it was because of Dan's infe-delity, but the truth of the matter is that Bex just fell out of love with the fucker after she realized that the pix weren't a lie and he was as ugly as he appeared. True karma shot this lovely couple in the ass and no amount of distance and false promises could keep them together. Tough break kids.

ChannIst: Channy and Istvan

Making out pretty much embodies their whole relationship.

Channy and Istvan e-flirted the shit out of each other constantly, ever since FCF first opened up. This didn’t stop even while seemingly one of them was in another e-lationship. After said e-lationship was disregarded, the two continued to flirt with each other publicly, but never expressed any true feeling towards one another other than wanting to see each other naked.

Then out of nowhere, one bat shit crazy evening in February, Istvan and Channy were seen in the same post, using the same computer, talking about sex. Congratulations abound until they milked the novelty of their ‘relationship’ dry. Members got bored, irritated, and a few even jealous. This relationship caused nothing but drama drama drama, mainly between the Fabled Six. The two moved in together, got married which was followed by a quickie divorce. The kids were heartbroken.

The two had an on again off again e-lationship for a few months longer until Istvan jumped ship and slipped across the border into Canada. The two were last seen canoodling in the bushes of the deep north, possibly freezing his bollocks off in the process.

Fireangel: Fire and Phoenix Angel

Fire’s a wanna/b/ pedophile and Phoenix Angel’s a 20-year old fatass with no life to claim. One prays on the sexuality of prepubescent girls and the other destroys the evidence with her massive gut. HIDE YOUR KIDDIES. After soon splitting from Channy, Fire got with Phoenix Angel, another massive e-dater. Both would claim their love was eternal and as proof, would flood every section of FCF and the FCF Shoutbox with <3, giggle and wub smilies. If one of them was in a thread, the other wouldn’t be far behind on the carpet-munching to turn the topic into a massive love fest. Both were approached on their spamming and that it needed to cease and desist on the forums. When that didn’t happen, one Corporal Punishment (Virgil) had to wave the banhammer to ensure it and temp banned Phoenix Angel after she made several (drunken) comments on the state of the forum.

The couple were shortly seen continually spamming the forum even after they were seeing a marriage counselor for Fire’s inf-e-delity. Apparently when you have an e-girlfriend, you just can’t help fucking the neighbor girl.

Both were lost to the internets. It's also important to note, that Phoenix Angel dumped her real boyfriend for this pedophile.

Sir Chaos: Sir Integra/Adri and Chaos Knight/Tony

Adri the loveable chubbster of America and Tony the Aussiestoner. No one knows for the longest time if these two people would actually become a couple considering so much sexual tension between them, but when one actually managed to get a life and a IRL girlfriend, the pairing soon fell apart. Starting as good friends who would always support one another in whatever the other did, it’s safe to assume that Sir Chaos was no more than a pity party for the one who was always left out.

Bexlax: Bexy and Alex

Bexy and Alex wasted no time in getting together after the Meateobex break up. Some argue it's because he was holding her back from her true potential, others say it's because she felt sorry for him and all the pretty things that he had bought her for her love. Whatever the case, the original token couple have split, and now a new, more beautiful couple has risen from the ashes (lol ashes).

What strikes the forum as odd, is why Bexy would leave Meateo when she said she loved him so? Did Alex leave his gf Giovanni for the same reason? Will Bex and Alex last forever because they have intimate and physical closeness, like a real couple should? These answers and more, next time on a very special episode of Hollyoaks.

But for as long as this couple survives, Sheena will be there to try and tear it down with the mentality that she saw Alex first, and if Amy can't have him, and she can't have him, then no one can!!@!!11one But fortunately for them she blocked the couple, relieving much stress after having to do with the emotional cutter for so long.

The Frankensteins of FCF

Meteo with Ist's good looking face, who knew?
Down syndrome Cheena
When Bex's flat chest is put to good use with Archie's boyish charms
What happens when Meteobex has a child? You kill it with fire
The Mormon (again) infused with Adri to form the look of another old FCFer (Dalik)
Kangajew and his jewfro with Swedish porn star Beeble
Sheena's butt buddy Alexxx and the Jay Leno-esque Channy
FCF Sex symbols Bustercock and Istvan