Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/October 13, 2023

War

War' is Funny and Awesome. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Human History, since our ape ancestors figured out how to make spears and throw it to other apes he did not like, had always been defined by Humanity's obsession with killing each other in the lulziest way possible; in other words, being a pacifist hippie is antithetical to Human Nature. Everyone loves the shit out of it, especially Jews, Germans and White people. War in America helps to stimulate patriotic love for the president and your mom, and everyone gets more pie. In England, war leads to the creation of much lulz as war-time humour about soldiers dressed up as ladies and eating dehydrated eggs flourishes. This is because the English, having already crammed themselves up their own assholes, have effectively made any further penetration by their opponent's genitalia practically impossible.

If it wasn't for war, a lot of the great toys we take for granted today would never have been invented (e.g. bows and arrows, hand grenades, stink bombs and combat camouflage barbie dolls). Since the late 1990s the glorious and epic nature of warfare has been reduced to fist pump dance contests, battles that only include freestyle rapping, and an axe is now a guitar.

(( War! It's Fantastic! ))

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