Angela Merkel

Europe extends a welcoming hand to refugees

Angela Dorothea Merkel (* 17. Juli 1954) is the 8th Führerin und Reichskanzlerin of the Sausagepeople, a former Commie, Germany's Hillary Clinton and, as Nostradamus predicted some centuries ago, the great King of Terror who will bring forth the End-times, the seven days of fire, and the rise of Muslim cock all over Europe.

Humble beginnings

Merkel and Bush

Angela Merkel was found and brought up by feral Communists in Eastern Germany, after Hitler's Reich was buttfucked in half by a massive Soviet cock. After schooling where she learned to praise St.Marx and eat with Hammer and Sickel, Angie decided to study physics, and build nukes to blow up the filthy, capitalist pigs, but in 1989 Mikhail Gorbachev rage-quit'd the preparations for WWIII and Germany was reunited again; finally ready to enjoy massive 'Murican cock.

Rise to power

Back in the early '90s Bundeskanzler Dr. Helmut Kohl of the CDU (Colossal Dicks United) decided that he would need someone who could wipe his ass since, at this point in time, he was unable to reach it without help. Kohl hired Angela Merkel, who somehow stuck between his fat folds during a visit in the GDR, and gave her a couple of well-paying jobs in the government as compensation, things like secretary for wimmins and youth, and secretary for the environment. Later she took over the party, changed to her final form and became ruler of the motherland in 2005.

For what she will be remembered

Moar info: Rapefugees.

In 2015 Angie decided to do the most sane thing possible and open the borders for 1.5 million radical, aggressive, pussy carving, uneducated, smelly Muslims from all over the planet. This decision made a few people considerably nervous, but fuck them - they're all Nazis anyway.

	“	I don't care if the refugee inflow is my fault, now they are here.	„
	—Angela Merkel giving a fuck

After the shit finally hit the fan and the Muslims started doing what Muslims do best (kill, maim, rape and complain,) Merkel was stunned by the lack of cooperation by her fellow Germans; Merkel decided to act and told everyone to shut the fuck up and hold still while the Muzzies penetrated them. This policy could be summarized with the three words: "Wir schaffen das!" (which means "Your resistance only makes my penis harder" in German). To prevent the stop of Muslim invaders to Germany, Merkel went to Turkey, put on a head scarf and sucked Erdogan's cock, broke German law, and lied to the people, something she learned in the GDR except for the cock which was russian and had a Lenin tattoo. At the very moment the situation is speeding toward a Civil War and it is very likely that Angie will not be able to escape to Argentina like her idol, but rather will become the first chancellor to end up hanging from a lantern next to a bunch of Muslim rapists.

Gallery

• 
• 
  Merkel and Erdogan discussing
• 
  Adolf Merkel
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  European Rapefugee crisis
• 
• 

See Also

• Hillary Clinton
• Germany
• Liberal Butthurt Syndrome
• Adolf Hitler

Angela Merkel is part of a series on Politics.

Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!] Alt-right • Anarchy • Capitalism • Centrism • Communism • Conservatism • Cyanism • Democrat • Hippie • Liberalism • Libertarianism • Miltopism • Nazi • Nihilism • Neo-con • Pacifism • Republican • Reconquista • Socialism • Stoner Guru • Tory Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!] Abortion • Arab Spring • Bahrain • Barron Trump • Birth • CISPA • Death penalty • Drugs • Environmentalism • Gays • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Girlfriends • Marijuana Addiction • Ground Zero Mosque • Marijuana Addiction • Mass Shooting • Gun control • Guns • Healthcare (2) (3)• Homeless • Housing Crisis • Hunting • Iceslave • Iran • Marriage • Miller Test • Miltopia • NAU • Pimpin' • Racism • Shoes • Taxes • Terrorism • Unemployment • War • Welfare Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me] Ahmadinejad • Akin • AOC • B.Allen • G. Allen • Angle • Ashburn • Bachmann • Bhutto • Bin Laden • H.Biden • J.Biden • Blagojevich • Blair • Boehner • G.Brown • S.Brown • Bunning • Jim Traficant • Dubya Bush • George H. W. Bush • Burr • Byrd • Cain • Cameron • Chavez • Che • Cheney • Chomsky • Chretien • Churchill • Clinton • Clinton II • Chelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton Clegg • Cohen • Coleman • Corbyn • Cowger • Craig • Cthulhu • Cunningham • Curtis • D'Alema • Dean • Delay • Duterte • Dwyer • Edwards • Fagan • Fiorina • Foley • Gerald Ford • Rob Ford • Geller • Gillard • Gingrich • Giuliani • Gonzales • Gore • Graham • Gravel • Greene • Griffin • Hague • Hanson • Harding • Harper • Harris • Hitler • Howard • Huckabee • Hussein • Jackson • James • Jidette • Johnson • Johnson, Boris • Kennedy • LaRouche • LBJ • Lott • Kerry • Kind • Kissinger • Kucinich • Lewinsky • Lieberman • Limbaugh • Loughner • Major • Marceaux.com • Marx • McBerry • McCain • McConnell • McHenry • McKinney • Mercer • Michael Bloomberg • Moore • Morocco Mole • Mussolini • Nader • Nixon • Obama • O'Donnell • Osborne • Paine • Paladino • Palin • Paul • Pelosi • Pence • Perry • Pinochet • Pritt • Putin • Quah • Quayle • Rasansky • Reagan • Rendell • Rice • Robertson • Romney • Rove • Rudd • Rumsfeld • Ryan • Saakashvili • Sanders • Santorum • Schumer • Schwarzenegger • Sharpton • Cyril Smith • Jacqui Smith • Spitzer • Stevens • Stranahan • Supreme • Taitz • Thatcher • Thompson • Thorley • TPMMuckraker Mole • Trudeau • Trump • Vance • Ventura • Vitter • Walz • Warsi • Washington • Waxman • Weiner • West • Williams • Wilson • Wolfowitz • X • Xenophon Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!] America's Third Party • Black Bloc • Dramacratic Party • Hard Party • Lemon Party • Liberal Party of Australia • North American DONG Party • OBAMACORN • Socialist Workers Party • Pirate Party • Zapatistas Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?] 2013 US Government Shutdown • Blaming China • Captain Nigga Defenda • Cloward Piven Strategy • Critical race theory • Cuckservatives • Demockery • Doomsday Clock • G20 Toronto Lollercaust • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberal guilt • Macaca • #NotMySuperbowlChamps • Occupy Democrats • Operation Lemonparty • Raped Statistics • The Resistance • Upworthy • Wunderground See also: 2012 Elections • 2016 Presidential Elections • 2020 Presidential Elections • 2024 USA Presidential Elections • Internet Politics • PizzaGate • Political communities • Roe v. Wade