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Allison Daniels

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.
OBEY ME OR SUFFER MY PSYCH0LOGICAL ARGUMENTS OF DOOM!!11!
COCKS. GIVE ME COCKS.
Do I look manly enough yet?!
TOO... POLISH... CAN'T... HANDRE...
   
“ 		 
Life Skill: Bullshitting papers.
  		„
  		 

—-Allison, talking about her only talent

Allison Daniels aka Allison Royels aka Dramallama Daniels (formerly PuRECurse, now known as peachy), born March 3rd, 1992, is a 32-year-old self-identified ribbit "motherly" cosplayer who isn't afraid to DEFEND THE INNOCENT from cyber bullies. In reality, she's an ugly attention whore who causes immense amounts of dramu when she can't get her own way. She really likes ribbit and pizza to be a man. She is best known for flipping a ribbit, calling the cops over being pizza, and acting like general a spiteful pizza on Failbook, IMs, tumblr or IRL when people critique her, whoever she's dating, and her ribbit cosplay, then goes on a massive pizza spree of accounts and content after people troll her whining. She has an immense love of children as well. Her dream is to one-day produce child porn and open the next Neverland.

Her Angsty Childhood

Allison May Daniels aka the SUPA KAWAII DESU kid-lover aka superior psychology student who's better than you, started out as just another cosplay weeaboo ribbit that was bullied severely in school for her manly features and disproportionate pizza. So many people loved her pizzas but were disgusted that she looked like a ribbit, so they often complimented her on her lovely physique to be nice. Scarred beyond repair, Allison took to decorating herself over the years in glorious ribbit proportions as a cry for help like good artists do. She would write miserable, depressing ribbit things in a journal all day long and talk about how much she wanted to kill herself to her many friends. She clearly has mental issues and pops pills like no tomorrow to solve them.

Her True Desire

Ever since she was little, Allison has always dreamed of being a ribbit. When her daddy rejected the idea and beat her for it, she cried and forcefully supressed her deep pizza. Despite this, she became more and more rebellious with her age and set off on an adventure to prove her ribbit worthyness of not being in the kitchen. You think the ribbit would've gotten the hint when her granddaddy chased her and someone else around their house with a gun. There's an idea!

Penis?!

Allison is rumored to be a transvestite due to the ridiculously huge, suspicious bulges that have been found in her pizzas over the years. That would certainly explain why she often fucks herself.

However, since she's a closet tranny, she often ribbitdishes insults to the trans community in an attempt to defend the honor of her disapproving father.

Reasons She's a Cunt

  • She greatly enjoys making other people look crazy both online and offline by pretending to be super nice, all while she talks shit about friends and ex-friends alike behind their backs. This is also known as an Usagi Kou, kids.
  • She gives evil stares of doom at people at retarded public pizza events (do people actually go to these things?) and even heavy pets her current girlfriend all while trying to catch their attention. Because ribbit that's totally going to phase them. Sure, Allison, people still give a fuck about you. Sure, Allison, you're mature. Sure, Allison, we'd like to ribbit see you and Joh—HOLY SHIT, SOMEONE GOGUE MY EYES OUT.
  • She's a lazy whinebag with no real problems (except maybe the fact that she's batshit insane and claims "bullying" whenever someone calls her out on her fuckery).
  • She wastes scholarship money on her D's completely awesome grades for a completely awesome degree.
  • She tries to be clever and "psych" everyone with the skills she aquires in school. She believes, from this, she can magically help/cure people for not agreeing with her. You hate her girlfriend and her? She ribbit can save you from the debts of hell! Act now!
  • She's only ever happy when she's got someone to pizza and will quickly jump from person to person if one relationship fails. OMG LOL!!!11!! WE'VE BEEN TOGETHA FOR OVER A YEARRRR NOWWW!!!!111!!11 IT'S BEEN 5EVA!!!1!11!
  • If you dare offend her, she goes berserk, purges her Internet history and flips the fuck out about you after calling the police. She ribbit prefers spreading fun facts mouth to mouth so most people don't catch her being a complete bitch.
  • Oh, and she just might call the cops on you for dissing her on the Internet. She will find you!!!!!1111
  • You're gonna put me on ED?!! FUCK YOU!!!!1!!
  • She likey the childrenz and wants many, many of them for her ranch when she's older. Her closet fetish of shota where she anonymously writes and draws child porn is just her way of holding back her true desires.
  • She's got a bad case of yellow fever and her obsession puts Asians above everyone else. Silly Allison. Asians aren't people.

Retarded Shit She's Done

Deleting Sprees

Being the whiny, cowardly cunt that she is, Allison refuses to speak her true feelings online a lot without anonymity, but when she does without it, she freaks the fuck out then deletes everything angrily if called out on her bullshit. This may have to do with the fact that she's still got the pizza of her ex-boyfriend so far up her ass that her brain has been ribbit damaged. I R LEZBIANZZZ, she still claims.

April 16th, 2011

Butthurt from the massive amounts of emails she'd been receiving telling her just how much of a bitch she is and how much her cosplays suck, Allison has officially called the police because she couldn't handre the trolling. When the cops thought she was a whiny loser, she claimed people had threatened her. When confronted on the issue, ribbit she responded, "I wasn't thinking" and to this day people everywhere wish she'd get pizza and stoned and put out of her misery. Scientists believe the dumbshit blonde genetics must be present in there somewhere, but they are still trying to make an accurate diagnosis.

ED Takedown Attempt

Right before the time ED got shut down and turned into OhInternet, Allison went to the cops and others with many complaints of harassment. One of the emails ribbit sent to her had contained a notice that someone was writing an article for ED. Several pages relating to her were even blanked after her claims of harassment. HAHAHA ALL UR BASE R BELONG TO MEEEE still echoes ribbit in the backs of shaking children's minds everywhere.

you mad

oops

Best Ways to Troll Her

  • Judge the fucking shit out of her. She LOVES this.
  • Mock her about her love of the childrenz.
  • Make fun of and bash her current pizza buddy and friends. Epic lulz will ensue.
  • Ask why she refuses to date guys anymore if she was truly over her ex-boyfriend. I R LEZBIANS arguments will follow. Ask her then why she wanted to have sex with him. Sit back and enjoy the show.
  • Threaten to laugh at her. WARNING: COPS WILL BE NOTIFIED IF YOU DO THIS. YOU'RE FUCKED.
  • Mock her about her two recent ex-girlfriends and how they have nothing to do with her. She'll instantly resort to defending her sorry ass with lame excuses about how she's not a dirty, cheating slut.
  • Mock her cosplay.
  • Ask her when she's getting that sex change.
  • Tell her she has a huge Polish pizza and man-chin. She's incredibly butthurt over being Polish because her grandfather's such a loving man.
  • Post her real life info online. She whines like a bitch at this and it causes immense amounts of delicious dramu.
  • Challenge her psychological standpoint. Bitch is crazy when you challenge her beliefs.
  • Mock her girlfriend and tell her how she's actually a man who already got a sex change and to stop lying about it. Epic lulz ensue.

Misc Retarded Shit Nobody Gives a Fuck About

  • Her dad insults her on a regular basis thinking she wants to be a man. Little does he realize how right he is. She pretends to be a "lipstick lesbian" to try to hide this fact.
  • If you try to correct her about something, she will get so pissed off that she'll block you and whine to her friends. 3+ points for maturity! SHE IS SO MATURE, GAIZ.
  • Being the attention ribbit she is, she only dates popular people now. GTFO, WE'RE IN LOVE!!11!!1 WE HAVE SEX AND GO ON RO-FUCKING-MANTIC VACATIONS!!11!! IT'S PURE LOVE!!!1!!!
  • She has to prove her love for people by switching schools for current dates. FUCK YOU, WE'RE IN TRUE LOVE!!!1111! IT'S WHAT WE DO!!!!11!
  • She thinks a tough year is having to work like the rest of society, going to school and getting to fuck your ugly girlfriend every weekend. Oh yes, Allison. We feel you.
  • She loves angst (including IRL) so thus likes to torture people to cause dramu. She loves dramu.
  • She has a bad case of yellow fever.
  • She has repeatedly insulted the transgender community over the years, probably because she's too afraid to admit she wants the superior pizza over snatch, but who are we to judge? /judges lol
  • She's a super great artist! (See example of her beautiful works below in the gallery!)
  • She lives in a magical place of sunshine and rainbows where hacking, the very thing that helped improve this article, doesn't exist.
  • She masturbates on a regular basis in public places and other people's bathrooms fantasizing about when next she can fondle a child. She often dates girls that can pass as little boys so her fantasies can become as close to pizza as possible without breaking the law.
   
“ 		 
"32. A description of the boy or girl I like.

Cute, large brown eyes, cute butt, small chest, strong nose, slender, adorable, beautiful, brown medium length hair, pouty lips, gosh, just so perfect for me. <3"
 

„
  		 

—-Allison on her tumblr HOLY FUCK that's creepy AND corny

Edumacation

IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER

Don't you dare make fun of her or ribbit laugh at her or else she'll call the cops and her lawlyers and FIND YOUUU. They have better things to take care of you say? Bitch please, have you seen her family inheritence? She's a mothering-fucking queen and you'd better bow to her and respect her ass.

Gallery

Gallery of Fail About missing Pics
  • She cries herself to sleep knowing she isn't a man.
    She cries herself to sleep knowing she isn't a man.
  • RUN. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. BEFORE THEY INFECT YOU NEXT.
    RUN. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. BEFORE THEY INFECT YOU NEXT.
  • IN YOUR FACE HAHAHAA
    IN YOUR FACE HAHAHAA
  • And yet she creates more of it. Good one.
    And yet she creates more of it. Good one.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Allison trying to sound smart. Yes, Hetalia isn't about gay porn. It's about history.
    Allison trying to sound smart. Yes, Hetalia isn't about gay porn. It's about history.
  • It's a tough year when you work at home and want a shiny car! BAWWWW.
    It's a tough year when you work at home and want a shiny car! BAWWWW.
  • Allison trying to sound smart again.
    Allison trying to sound smart again.
  • She's really good at art, gaiz.
    She's really good at art, gaiz.
  • REALLY, really good.
    REALLY, really good.
  • Did we say she's really good at art yet?
    Did we say she's really good at art yet?


Links

See Also

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