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Allie Kibby
The True Un-Trolled Story of Alexandria Patricia Kibby!
Allie Kibby (also known as Alexandria P. Kibby) is a manipulative, apathetic slut who has been banned from weeaboo conventions in the Great Lakes region, and most any Midwest furry con. She is a fucking failure of a cosplayer and a former fursuiter who thought she was a fox. She is also hated by the LGBT community because she cheated on and dumped her transgender ex in 2013. She kicked him out of her parents' house after 3 years when he wanted to start Hormone Replacement Therapy.
She is a sex locust who uses vulnerable nerd men for security and Jew Gold, and always cheats on them and jumps to the next host victim after gaslighting them. She actually plans it so her boyfriends end up homeless, suicidal and destitute so they are out of her way.
She is socially retarded and can safely be assumed to suffer from mental disorders including bipolar disorder and violent fetish sex addiction. She is a self-destructive narcissist with unwarranted self importance. She also suffers from delusions of grandeur (being intelligent, caring or attractive). She has been in counselling for years and only became worse. She also has Daddy issues and enjoys being an emotionally detached sociopath. Alexandria puts the Alex in Alexithymia. Google it faggot!
Allie is a primadonna and hard to work with. She is generally unemployable because of her behavior and Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the workplace. Like her mother Allie is a "Know-It-All" and can't take criticism or respect authority. Some former bosses and supervisors refuse to provide references or even allow her on the property.
She was arrested on November 21, 2016 for hitting her boyfriend. She got butthurt when her boyfriend caught Allie cheating on him with multiple sex partners over years. She twice lost her shit and attacked him when he tried to move out. In her own words she was surprised she never felt guilty about the domestic abuse or being an unfaithful whore, but only felt bad she resembled her brother for doing it. Allie is one of the 4% of people who secretly do not have a conscience. This lets her do anything to anyone. She gets away with it because she is an "amazing" con artist and actress. She has tricked family and friends for many years - even into believing she is a woman.
She looks for sucker boyfriends for security and comfort when she told others she wants the single lifestyle to be free to fuck strangers.
Allie's dream is to go to graduate school for business psychology so she can go into businesses and tell them what they are doing wrong. O Rly Miss Ego?
Allie has been called "the bitch" since grade school and celebrates the nickname. All hail Allie Kibby, Narcissist Queen!
Every Whore has a Backstory
Allie was a preemie born two months early in 1990. During these two months hearts were handed out and Allie missed hers. Her mother never wanted the pregnancy. That's not acne - that's Allie's coat hanger scars!
Allie always used and consumed those closest to her - like when she absorbed her miscarried twin sibling. Now she does it for fun.
Allie's Republican father lost his company to his sheer stupidity. As a respectable husband he retired and left the family's financial burden on his wife 20 years ago so he can watch Fox News, golf and bitch about Minecraft.
His first marriage had 2 sons who cheated on their wives. His second marriage was to an employee (Allie's mother) he married on a company outing when a photoshoot was rained out and they were bored - no shit! Her mother regrets the marriage, but won't divorce him because he'd die (maybe even by natural causes)! She wished she had married someone else instead of the boss she never loved. Money before love! According to Allie, her mother now lives out some fantasies on business trips.
Her mother always covers Allie's inflating ass (visualize Dig Dug). Allie says her mother is the strongest woman she ever knew and copies her dyke looks, selfishness and inability to be liked by coworkers and peers. They always hid everything from her father ranging from family inheritances, Allie's cheating and abortions and where the ritual bodies are buried.
Sometimes the puppet revolts! Allie lied about credit card debt to scam $5,000 from her mother to buy more condoms and AA batteries. She justified it because her mother stole money from her aunt's inheritance to Allie in 2013. Allie is a greedy self-entitled cunt. Allie used the same con job to scam a boyfriend's grieving mother out of $4,000 from his late father's funeral fund. That also wasn't a joke - go kill yourself Allie.
In 2016 Allie lied to family when she got dumped and her arrest for domestic violence. She used pity money to move and get a new car. Allie's car was totaled the day before when she gave the keys to a late-20's retarded friend who never drove before. Fucktard Allie was SHOCKED when she hit a tree - instead of running Allie down for the good of humanity.
She moved out with her boyfriend in 2014 to escape her "emotionally abusive and controlling" parents. No shit. She wants to get a gun in New York State. She illegally used pistols in Michigan and her fuckboi, Garrett's. Allie's unstable personality + violent history + batshit crazy = Lock & Load!? Hide yo wife hide yo kids.
Who Needs Friends When You Have This Many Personalities!
Because she is the only person in the world Allie has always been a failure with making and keeping friends. She pretends to be kawaii and likeable fake, and people find out too late. Then her lower jaw dislocates and devours them whole.
Her best friend, Elizabeth, graduated with honors and Allie was voted most likely to conceive. Allie envied Elizabeth's high IQ and success since Allie is a stupid dumbass. She piggybacks actual smart people (double entendre!). Allie hated Elizabeth's manboy boyfriend, Patrick, and felt sexually harassed by Patrick's constant phone calls. She believed he wanted to fuck her - they probably did. Elizabeth'swedding was one of Allie's "hardest days of her life" because she watched her marry that piece of shit olchai. Allie was mad at (jealous of) Elizabeth, a devout Catholic, for having premarital sex! Oh the drama!
Allie has a manchild pal she sexually teases named Sean. Everyone knew Allie and Sean shagged, but they always denied it. Allie stayed away when he literally contracted several STDs from Patrick's sister after a con in 2014.
Allie heckled one high school friend for her childhood obesity - a medical problem. Allie patronized another friend's decision to keep an unintended pregnancy.
The Midwest furry and anime/gamer convention communities know she's a backstabbing bitch. Allie pretended to be a furry or gamer girl for cock. They saw Allie go to con parties trying to get aforementioned cock. One furry lost her shit when Allie tried to break her and her boyfriend up so Allie could sleep with his cock. Sharing means caring furfag! In short, she likes cock - even yours! (Email her now! Details below.)
Allie lusts over her military schmuck, Adam. For years they secretly planned to have infantilism and diaper fetish roleplay. Shhhhhh! It's a secret from Adam's wife and children. Stay classy! Allie's ex-boyfriends confirm the diaper fetish is actually Allie's favorite kink. See above: Daddy issues.
Allie's manipulated her way to be assistant to a major con chairman in the Midwest in 2013. The entire staff hated her and she lusted over some of them constantly. There were several complaints. Everything Allie Kibby does is for her Freudian complexes, greed, narcissism and sex addiction.
Allie babysat for neighbors, Kate and Erick. She took the family for granted. Allie used their home for secret, sexual purposes when she house sat. In 2012 Allie used their house to hide away from her pro life father while she took an abortion pill that her mother drove her to get. In 2013 she gave an out of state guy their house key so he could secretly live there for days and fuck her without her boyfriend knowing. Allie is still friends with Kate because of they both drink the Kool-Aid in their Essential Oils cult/pyramid scheme.
Allie was seen picking up men in Michigan bars from 2013-2016. Of course her gullible boyfriend never knew. In 2015 Allie took advantage of that dumbass boyfriend to move to Buffalo since she was socially banished her from Detroit. She's literally a parasite needing new mating grounds.
Working with the Bitch (Protip #1: Don't)
Allie's know-it-all attitude causes division and (unfunny) drama in the workplace. She always "knew better." Some past supervisors will not recommend her and coworkers see her as a bitch. REVELATIONS! Allie was often hired because of her looks, and bosses regretted the decisions after their eyesight returned. She always had a bullshit excuse for not lasting longer than 6 months at any job. Nothing was ever her fault (except maybe famine). Allie always lied or blamed others to cover up her inability to perform tasks or get along.
Allie's promiscuity is a workplace distraction (except for Japanese clients). She lusts over male coworkers. In 2016 it is believed she fucked a celebrity VIP she always idolized when she privately went to his hotel room to "help him rehearse lines." This is funnier because Allie's dumbass boyfriend hired the VIP to attend! PIMP LOLZ!
Allie is an expert photographer better than anyone in history evar. She always argued with REAL photographers and caused problems at shoots.
Allie plays hooky to enjoy Stranger Things - and NOT the Netflix series. One time she told her boss she was skipping work to see her boyfriend's dying father and instead went to a douchebag's house to be his meat puppet on his girlfriend's bed while she was at work. Srsly.
Bitches get Itches
Allie is sickly slut. She "suffers" from endometriosis and will never give birth to the next antichrist. She has high anxiety and constant migraines from her futile attempts at thought. Her driving demonstrates her incredibly poor eyesight (and the fact she is "scientifically classified" as a woman). She can barely hear with one ear and is unable to jog because she took an arrow to the knee. She spends hours each day on her knees so this is bad for business.
If you want to look a gift whore in the mouth you will see her two top front teeth are fake due to a curb stomp accident as a child.
In 2015 she needed surgery to remove a copper IUD which dislodged and tried escaping her Sarlacc. ::Enter Beggar's Canyon joke here:: Embryos are the only organisms which can not survive in her cursed purse.
Allie's allergies include acai berry and other people's opinions. Her body is intolerant to hormone treatments, so she can't use some birth control or develop into an adult woman. She tried using the pill, but it fell out. She has been pregnant several times, aborting at least twice with two different boyfriends. She's had miscarriages, including the pregnancy of at least one man she was having an affair with.
Allie was addicted to smoking, but found other things to put into her mouth. She is constantly obsessed with picking her acne open until it bleeds. This is to open a portal for her inner demons to enter our world. She tries to cover her acne with makeup, but only Sherwin-Williams does the trick. Allie is so obsessed with picking her acne she even picks at the acne of others as an odd fetish. She also picks her nose because no one picks her.
Psychologically, Allie has a medical condition called being fucked up. She's an emotionally vacant and apathetic fucktard with severe narcissism, unwarranted self-importance and insatiable greed.
Ask Allie if she is a pathological liar and bipolar, and both of her will say no.
Despite secretly seeing a professional psychologist for years to finally be fixed, she's still here. She never wanted help. She saw these psychologists to discuss nymphomania, but she ended up giving them advice.
Allie knows everything and will not tolerate being corrected. Ever. Humility is as foreign to her as a functioning hymen. She is faultless and it's very easy for her to limp away after hurting those closest to her. She fakes guilt or sadness pretending to feel what is expected of a human being (although her human disguise could use some work). If she had empathy or sympathy she would not do what she did and does. She also doesn't offer refunds.
She has never loved a partner because she can not give of herself (cheaply) for another with any dedication. She'll never escape her self-named "3 Year Curse":
Year 1: "Yay! I found a new sucker! Time to find a way to breakup with my actual boyfriend and blame him for it!"
Year 2: "I'm sick of this guy, but aren't I supposed to feel something for him? Some obligation or... emotion? Time to hit Whisper again and see who's free this evening! Better not get caught because he pays rent and cooks!"
Year 3: "I was over my boyfriend 4 years ago and I like new guys I've been fucking, whatever their names were! I must wait until the worst possible time to leave him devastated and homeless! He'll fall for it. What a champ! Mom will back me up. NEXT IN LINE!"
Allie sleeps around while maintaining a relationship as her comfort zone. Parasites can not survive without a host. She has not been single for over a decade! Allie uses an anonymous chat app called Whisper to find men for anonymous sex while her boyfriend is away.
Allie suffered from anorexia since high school when she was over 50 pounds lighter. She believes she suffers from body dysmorphia, but that's really how she looks. Allie has always hated her mother for pointing out weight gain. Allie never liked it when someone talked about the elephant in the room. Allie quit (non-venereal) exercising. Now her diet consists of soda and high calorie snacks (chips, ice cream, cookies, anonymous protein shots). She is realizing her dream of becoming her mother more!
Sex on the Bitch
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!
Allie's sex life is the fifth sign of the Apocalypse. Allie and her teenage boyfriend both lost their virginity when he was over-medicated and unconscious. She fucked him. He complained she raped him for his first time. This is called drug facilitated sexual assault. What sounds like trolling is completely true. Great start, retard!
Allie suffers from self-confessed nymphomania and an obsession to be controlled violently and recklessly during intercourse. She enjoys whips, chains and being called a "slave" so much Lincoln tried to emancipate her. While BDSM is fun, Allie's enjoyment of physical injuries will put her in danger. #FingersCrossed
Allie BRAGGED TO HER EX-BOYFRIEND how she cheated on him with an anonymous man from the Whisper app at a coffee shop. She went into the man's truck in the parking lot and was forcibly mouth-raped. The strumpet enjoys the trumpet! It's not like it's batshit insane or dangerous to get picked up by anonymous men on apps to be dominated sexually, amirite???
She brags about the thrill and adventure of sleeping around and "getting away with it." She had a long affair with a man we will call "Nick." She frequently hid his weasel on the boyfriend's bedding and on the bed Allie's Christian grandparents gave them. "Nick" later met the boyfriend and regretted how apathetic she was to him. It's sad when the sex toy turns her in and says she's fucked up! Here are some great quotes from "Nick":
"I honestly couldn't understand how she could do it"
"She just said that's what she wanted and it's the way she is and wants to be"
"Seems overly compulsive. She needs some kind of help"
"She was easy at deceiving it seems. I wouldn't blame yourself"
Allie masturbated often on the bathroom floor when they had company over. She was no longer allowed to do so on the kitchen floor after breaking several mop handles and a Swiffer.
She fucked in the driveway of an employer and on his sofa. She always enjoyed the thrill of the risk: Condoms preferred, but just like self-respect not mandatory.
Allie's father choked her as a teenager. She hated him, but enjoyed the sensation. In high school Allie and her boyfriend snuck away to a motel room so she could be gagged, blindfolded, tied up and choked for hours and "used" as a cum dumpster. She loved it! She always looked for a Daddy. Allie flirted with teachers, older men and a self-defense instructor who invited her out often. Easy A! That's a double entendre!
Allie is a sexual potato. Her partners get bored of her and she just lies there. The only solution is to play the Poke Flute. Sex is always for her and no one else. She also had a nauseating smell from her vagina. Partners had trouble holding their breath for the 90 seconds. After all, a venereal petri dish, HPV hive and fetal cemetery isn't going to smell like a spring garden.
Allie cheated on boyfriends and had unprotected sex with men she met online. She took the words of stranger danger they were tested for STDs and were clean. #BitchBeGullible! Afterwards she had unprotected sex with boyfriends without any concern for their safety. Allie's self-destruction always put her partners at risk, but it only matters that she always "came" first. From 2014-2016 she had more than 5 consistent affairs along with any "short term" arrangements (called gigs). Allie had sex with these men over 100 times. This is NOT an exaggeration! Hell, maybe even Over 9000 times! She was shocked she was caught and dumped when the boyfriend found out. No shit, retard! Bravo! Now get the bleach.
Here's a Kevin Smith movie punchline and - like everything else on this page - another TRUE STORY: Allie house sat for useful idiots, Kate and Erick, and invited "Nick" to deliver the pizza to her boyfriend for his birthday party in 2014! Invited the guy she was having AN AFFAIR WITH to her BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. :: slow clap:: She got to keep the whole tip.
During the funeral of the succubus's boyfriend's father in 2016 several family members complained Allie was trying to flirt with and get the attention of two of the father's best friends. They were in their 60's. She apparently wasn't satisfied with there only being one stiff there. In the Real World things like this get a slut admitted. To a convent.
Allie has 20+ (non-human) sex toys of different shapes and sizes as part of her gang rape prep kit. She has straps for the bed, chains, cuffs and a rape whistle for her boyfriend. There's a reason the Energizer Bunny hasn't been seen in years! She bought a big black dildo in 2014. When her boyfriend found it she said it was a "gag" gift for her best friend, Elizabeth's, Bachelorette Party. She said she gave it to Elizabeth, but she still has it and uses it to this day for nights Whisper doesn't get her "extra sausage" delivery right.
Darwin Awards: Dating Allie Kibby (Protip #2: Don't)
A person's character can be judged on how they treat their exes. TL;DR She has no character.
Allie burns every bridge and stays friends with men she was having affairs with. She carries spares. Priorities, genius! New "boyfriends" wouldn't know which friends are only there for "Hide the Salami," so Allie can cheat on new retards with safety!
Allie "never quit a job unless she had the next job lined up." She did this with EVERY boyfriend. Congratulations asshat - you guys are sex batons! Multiple exes became homeless as a result of Allie. She never cared and never will. Exes are a liability. Encyclopædia Dramatica to the rescue!
Allie abandoned a boyfriend in 2013 when he began gender reassignment. She said she supported him and attended transition counselling with him. She fucked a guy while he LISTENED TO HER, lied to him about it and then dumped him after 3 years because she didn't want "that shit" in her life. Allie is no friend of the LGBT community and she never learned actions have consequences. For our amusement she also can't outrun the Internet!
She is a con artist who lied to dying family members of boyfriends on their deathbeds. In 2011 she promised an ex's dying grandmother she'd take care of him.
Allie Logic: Cheat + Dump + Kick to the street = Rest assured, Grandma!
In 2016 another boyfriend's father was dying from cancer. He adored Allie (a side effect of the chemotherapy). Allie swore to always be there to help the family, support and love the boyfriend.
Allie Logic: Cheat on boyfriend before and after father was dying, WHEN HE DIED and several times before the funeral - then ripped off the widow!
She planned to abandon the boyfriend after his father's death and lie about her extra curricular activities. He caught her cheating three weeks after his father was buried. Three. Fucking. Weeks.
Homewrecker Allie and the "No Wynn" Situation
Here's drama queen Allie's epic fail for the entertainment of the entire Internet. In 2016 Homewrecker Allie gave up her boyfriend, half of her friends and her comfortable life to become a mistress and new bottom bitch to a polygamous cock-gobbler named Garrett Wynn - and they got caught:
Their bullshit story is they met in a supermarket and then got coffee. She wanted another fuckboi while her boyfriend was distracted with his father dying from cancer. Garrett lived with his 6-year girlfriend, Colleen, and wanted another walking glory hole added to his rotation. Garrett was fucking other women while Allie and Colleen were too super retarded to figure that shit out. Allie made a regular diet of Garrett jizztinis (shaken AND stirred) for months.
The Fugly bitchtard and fattard even thought they fell in love. They planned to drop their partners faster than their pants and live sloppily ever after - or at least until they met the next prey in frozen foods. The ghey fuckwads planned to gift-wrap Dear John letters just in time for Christmas! After some help from Hooked on Phonics Garrett started writing a breakup letter to Colleen. This took several weeks because of multiple syllable words. Sound them out now!
Mistress Allie continued staying with her boyfriend because, in the faghag's own words to Garrett, the boyfriend was a sucker she used while she lived out her secret life as the community sperm bank. (FYI - Her lane was open for deposits only.) She confessed she stayed with him for TWO YEARS so she had a white knight to rescue her from Michigan (where she is reviled), take her to New York and comfort her until she spread her wings (and flaps) and ditched him. Classic Allie!
INTERMISSION FOR A JOKE: What's the difference between Moses and Allie Kibby?
Answer: Moses parted the Red Sea for fewer men.
Allie's boyfriend stayed at the hospital overnight the evening his father died. She was too busy getting greeked by Garrett to answer the phone. Allie later was too busy discussing on text which collars were more stain resistant to help her boyfriend while she was with him choosing a coffin for his father. Thumbs up to a classy cunt!
Always a respectable feminist Allie wanted to share the chauvinist's choad with Colleen, who wanted ground rules like "No Ho's at Home.". Allie wasn't allowed to stain Colleen's sheets anymore. Then Allie wrote a letter to Colleen apologizing for the situation, but insisted she didn't care and would ruin her shit to get Garrett nevertheless. ::Slow clap for human decency::
Allie's years of infidelity were discovered right before Thanksgiving 2016. She accidentally left journal entries (STD recipes) of her promiscuity out where her boyfriend found them. No joke - she wrote daily diary emails to Garrett to say what she liked best about getting Falcon Punched during lunch. Her boyfriend packed, broke up with the tainted clusterfuck and left after she was arrested. The hotard's pride could not handle being dumped. Allie lied to friends and family about breaking up with him. Good luck with that one.
Allie's mother told her she royally screwed up - not because of the cheating, but because she got caught! Bravo, enabling shitheads!
Allie discussed in vulgar detail her slave fetish sex life with Garrett, using her boyfriend and what small mammals were still stuck inside both of them from the night before. (Update: PETA has been notified.) She even confessed the many other sexual partners she had behind his back over the years. She was admitting more outsiders than North Korea. The ex-boyfriend also made Garrett confess to Colleen - the only act of decency in the clusterfuck.
The boyfriend was his own special brand of retard and he still communicated with Allie and visited often. He was looking for his self-respect he must have left behind. She secretly gave him updates of her family's legal revenge ideas. Allie hid this from family because they gave her moving money. Allie sent him many text messages and pictures from Garrett and her mother. She was backstabbing so many loved ones she needed to buy new cutlery.
The ex visited several times and they went out often (fondue, a jazz bar, an aviary, the free STD clinic to renew their vows, etc.). While Garrett was forced to finally choose between the two girls, Allie was spending the weekend with the gullible ex in secret. Allie hid all this from Garrett so he wouldn't run from the two-faced whore. She even made phone calls with her father, mother and grandmother about her ex while her ex listened in!
In the end, white trash chose his REAL LIFE girlfriend over Mistress Allie and gave her a (not so) final shame-fucking. She IMMEDIATELY called the ex to come over even before the bukkake on her face hardened. Minutes later she was on Whisper picking up new guys to fill her void. The ex spent the next two overnights with her in bed. She even gave him Garrett's key to the apartment - where the ex once lived! Full circle-jerk! Then the ex caught Allie lying again and left (again). Shocking! Close the (meat) curtains on this drama!
Karma ran over her smegma! Mutual friends have abandoned Allie and she was banned from some conventions. No one felt comfortable with a harlot around whose gaping cooter is a check-in location on Facebook. Later - and IN WRITING - Allie admitted the relationship failed because of her problems and dishonesty. #ClosureForPosers
The Bitch and her Super Magic Psychic Powers
Allie truly believes she can use spirit energy and create magic shields to protect her from stress, negative energy and the human rights of others. She believes she is a gifted empathy (like Bruce Jenner!), but she is just really apathetic and pathetic.
She really thinks she was always possessed by an evil spirit her entire life and blames it for her behavior. ALERT: She is even a cum dumpster for the dead! She thinks she was safe at her family home because her kooky aunt secretly warded the house against evil. Her parents don't even now this. Allie also believes her dead dog is guarding her while she sleeps. Maybe she's possessed by her miscarried twin brother, like a bad video game with Ellen Page? This would explain the bipolar disorder and bull-dyke personality, appearance and mannerisms!
She uses crystals and warding spells she learned in Dumbledore's Army to stop her possession demon from turning her into a bitch and fucking strangers. ::Facepalm:: She also can cast spells to make her heart and soul disappear, but she hasn't learned how to bring them back. Allie believes she is the target of spirit hauntings including animals and her late Aunt Irene. She genuinely represents the world of the paranormal about as accurately as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Salt & burn bitch!
She is utterly delusional and it's fucking great for lulz!
Other Names Allie Answers to
Allie Patricia Kibby
Alexandria Kibby
Hey Mister
Alex Kibby
Sup
Allie P Kibby
I've got five minutes, five dollars, and five friends.
Want to troll some bitches?
garrettwynn Garrett Wynn's Facebook- TyJones83 Allie's new neckbeard sucker
- alexandria.kibby Secret Facebook. Her real Facebook is hidden. Gee - wonder why?
Offer her a "role" on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kibbya
Email for lolz: [email protected]
Email for moar: [email protected]
See Also
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Allie Kibby is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Allie Kibby is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |