Hawaii
Hawaii, or Huh - Vai -ee if you're a Trendy Fucker or a West Coast Liberal, is one of the 50 states of America, and one of only two states offshore from the mainland, Alaska "currently" being the other one until the days of The United States Of Canada come about.
Notable for being the site of the Pearl Harbor bombings, extremely expensive real estate and nesting old white people. The weather is hellish; extremely hot and humid with intense thunderstorms. Even Florida weather isn't as bad as here. You have to call in exterminators to cleanse your house or apartment of insects once every week, or else your place will be swarming with horrifying and giant bugs hell bent on biting the shit out of you. Centipedes, spiders and tarantulas are everywhere and definitely out to get you- especially if you have a vagina. They're probably even in your food. A bite from one of the centipedes will put you in the hospital for a week.
Things To Do In Hawaii
- Blame God when you wake up to lava in your living room.
- Stomp on the giant roaches that will attack you when you move your fridge to sweep under it
- Dodge Wild Fires
- Why be the real thing when you can be a surfing Poseur?
- Watch as your needle tracks turn gangrenous thanks to the humid weather
- Pay $12 for a gallon of milk. Hell. Get raped on everything, except for pineapples, because it has to be shipped in
- Build yourself a shack to live in because you can't afford an apartment because you're hooked on meth
- Die a Virgin's death by throwing yourself into a Volcano
Gallery
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GOD IS PISSED -
A map of the area. Only one of the islands is habitable. -
Your new friend. -
Hawaii Driver license
Notable Residents
- Nigahiga - once the most popular Youtuber back in the day.
- Barack Obama - Born and raised here.
- Duane Dog Chapman
