Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 23, 2022

Alek Minassian

Alek Minassian is an Armenian-Canadian best known worldwide as the present high-score holder for Canadian usage of Grand Theft Auto, when on April 23rd, 2018, he utilized the well-proven truck of peace to relieve 10 unfortunate canucks of their lives. Like other national treasures such as Luka Magnotta, Marc Lepine, and Justin Trudeau, Alek Minassian sought to improve his life, and ideally end it, through bloodshed and notoriety. Unfortunately for him, as a certified autist, he couldn't even get the police to shoot him, thus finding himself cucked for the umpteenth time.

On April 23rd, 2018, the bucolic nation of Canada was knocked into action by a 2.3 ton white moving van, hurtling down a pedestrian walkway at highway speeds. Eyewitnesses reported flying bodies, smushed canucks, and the wails of wives and children, as Alek deftly maneuvered his vehicle through crowds. After 20 minutes of Grand Theft Auto re-enactment, the vehicle hit a bollard, and Minassian stepped out, only to be confronted by police. 10 people were killed, and an additional 14 were injured. Alek managed to surpass his hero Elliot Rodger's kill count by 4. Alek therefore has proven himself to be the Supreme Gentlemen! Well done!

(( ALONE IN THE SHEETS, A BEAST ON THE STREETS ))

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