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Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
If you however are super impatient, email Tabs directly at [email protected] with your preferred username and associated email address AND ONLY TO REGISTER.Overwatch
Overwatch is legal parody of Team Fortress 2 made by Blizzard Entertainment, having run out of ideas and pondering on how to make a profit other than keep doing shit MMORPG, they decided to make Team Fortress 3. It's a shit DOTA 2 first-person shooter (which is something else they ripped off as well; they shamelessly ripped off a lot of things but if we're going to list all of it, we will be here all year. One worthy of mention, though is probably the great Chinese game which they directly ripped off), the only shred of creative substance in it, other than being a generic safe and shit game that guarantees purchases from sheep is probably the name. There is currently no other game in this world call Overwatch other than this game. So good job to the developer for managing to keep at least one thing original.
The current price of this game is $40.00 which is a weekly allowance of an average Generation Z teenager, proving the demographics they are looking for. There's literally no blood in this pussy ass game because it's trying too hard to keep it PG 13 with all the killing that is going on. It also appeals to weeaboos because there are waifus and two Japanese fag that are brothers or some shit. Either way, they speak badly-accented Engrish and are from Japan. Which proves that this shit game is trying to appeal to weeaboo, other than all the other very subtle implications from our female leads, it is very clear that it is a substanceless pile of shit not worthy of any productive human being's time.
It made a few hundered million doolas somehow, proving again that people love to consume shit.
Purpose of the game
You kill people and they die. Probably drinking bleach afterwards to unlock the final achievement in this game.
Plot
LOL U EXPECTING PLOT FROM AN ONLINE MUTIPLAYER FPS? Only plot that exists in this game are the tales of bitching about what to nerf, and newbie who can't play for shit defending their nerfs. The other plot is available on rule34's Overwatch SFM section.
But if you really want a snippet you can go watch their unoriginal shorts about undeveloped shit characters with undefined storylines who are literally just racial stereotypes, (THE 'AVALERY 'S HERE!!!!) Did I mention the accent? Any sane human being will mutilate themselves from hearing these fuckers moonspeak in their Engrish, they are all representation of different nationalities by fucking 'Muricans, so you know if you are a Swiss cheese you are bound to be a neutral white flag raising pussy medic and if you are an American, you are a shotgun-tooting black manaic. There is also some gay gorilla from the moon who fucked his master to death or something but you don't need to know about that yet, you might also be wondering what the title signifies. Nothing.
The title is literally the name of their organization which begs the fucking question, who the fuck is on whose team? Apparently some shit source that claims to be canon other than rule34 Overwatch, says that all the heroes are fighting each other because some shit about the black guy and French cunt starting some kind of war because ???? and despite that your so-called good characters is still being alighed on the same team as them because ?????
Fags also claimed that the game isn't canon to the game (lolwut even this magnitude of stupidity is not expected from a game this retarded), so this means that the real official canon is literally rule34 and the game cannot even be trusted to tell it's own generic and done story.
Heroes - How to play
Damage |
• | Tank |
• | Support |
Tracer Controversies
Tracer and her 3D rendered arse are the main reasons the clickbait hacks wrote their "articles" about identity politics as Blizzard (who apparently is not knowing a thing about videogames anymore) took decisions about her and her character that polarized the gamer community, demonstrating once more that Gaben was a fucking genius by not including female playable characters on the superior version of Overwatch, (and also free to play) Team Fortress 2.
Tracer Controversy #1: The Stupid Pose
Derp.
Look at that sexist pile of shit. She has an ass for fuck's sake. Anyone who doesn't notice how sexist it is for a woman to have an ass should be shot, I mean, unless she has a fat feminist unfuckable ass or a flat and nonexistent one, it shouldn't be there. One more thing about this pose that is just degrading for woman is probably that she isn't holding a sandwich maker nor is she in the kitchen.
And another reasonable request. petition to remove all guns from the game 
(archive).
This was a well placed campaign, although it would have been much more better if they removed the whole game.
So Blizzard somehow grew balls and glands and got a new pose that is literally based on a pin up.
Cuny McCunts were obviously pissed that everything in the world somehow weren't going their way but reality is sometimes just reality.
For example, here is Brianna Wu complaining about the butt on twitter (archive):
Meanwhile at the SJW hivemind aka NeoGAF, the NeoFaggots are still bitching and complaining over Tracer's ass because of her new pose.
Anyways, with this controversy solved, it's only a matter of time before SJWs and feminists manufacture another outrage in order to manipulate a company to do their biddings, despite never actually spending a single dollar on anything they've produced.
File:Tracer Cosplay.jpg
Please nerf the ass
Tracer Gallery
Tracer Controversy #2: Tracer is a rug muncher
Herp.
—Blizzard, Shooting their own leg | ||
Just when the idiots of Gamergate were celebrating that Blizzard trolled the SJW with the ridiculous pose, Last Thursday they released a Christmas comic in which they show that British hot tight pants is fond of chowing boxes, as if her bulldyke haircut wasn't enough of a giveaway.
Apparently Tracer is the first (there will be more) LGBTBBQWTF+ character of the franchise, as she has a relationship with a ginger called Emily, eerily looking too similar to another soulless lesbian ginger.
The reactions to this addition to the Overwatch in-game canon can vary from the likes of "Meh, I'm not going to pay 40 bucks for this tumblr ripoff shit", to "You bastards, Tracer is my waifu, Why did you this to me?". Still and, again, the ones with the most embarrassing reactions were the lab monkeys writing for SJW clickbait pages who reached orgasm with screams of "muh Diversity", "muh Inclusiveness" and "muh Representation" because of a fictional character enjoying and drinking vaginal fluids.
This Blizzard attempt to cater to more mature audiences with this cheap marketing stunt will backfire as in the first place, more 3D porn of Tracer fucking the rest of the female characters with a strap-on will be made, second, the hardcore gamers will not be playing it as they don't want queer representation while they are killing the shit of their fellow gamers and finally, the game only will be played by the obsessed tumblristas with queer pronouns, creating around the game a fandom more retarded than the fandom of Steven Universe. As if the Fembusters debacle wasn't enough, Blizzard apparently must learn from experience that you never cater to the qualms of SJW as they are bad and disloyal customers who are more interested on virtue signaling than buying your overpriced shit.
Other Less Important Rule 34 Characters
Videos
Overwatch - RIP Butt Previous Video | Next Video |
See Also
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Overwatch is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Overwatch is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |