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Furry Paws
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Furry-Penises, much like its counterpart Neopets, is an online pet simulation for lonely fat girls with no IRL friends. Run by Nazis, pedophiles, and furries, the community takes the MY DOG IZ MY BEST FREND concept to an entirely new level. Whereas most retards just get a real dog to make up for their social ineptitude, players on Furry-Paws make fake ones to compete to see who can be the greatest dog breeder of all time. No one on the entire shit hole of a site has enough balls to say what they are actually thinking, because they are afraid of getting their asses Perma-b&.
Concept
Like most social retards who play online games, players dedicate their waking hours to feverishly improving their virtual dogs through bad-ass methods like equipping them with diamond collars and feeding them chocolate chip cookies, after which they spend the rest of their time clicking through pages of “shows” in a desperate attempt to improve the levels of their dogs.
Unlike in the real world, where success is measured in tangible artifacts, success on Furry-Paws is measured by how much time you dedicate to sitting on your ass entering dogs in shows and accumulating virtual money. Basically it's for fat fucks with no life.
Genres of Failure
Site Owner Kah
Kah is the ginger owner of FP. According to sources, she created and has been maintaining FP since she was 14/15, attended one of the most prestigious public universities named in honor of a freemason and graduated with a 4.0 gpa at the age when most people JUST started college. Since such powers are usually only wielded by mensa member engineers/programmers, one can assume she is an asspie. It turns out the reason why Kah doesn't give a shit about FP anymore isn't the fact that she's in the hospital from being fat (like 90% of fpians), it's because she's studying to become a bio-terroist.
Among the failures of Kah's programming, include not knowing how to put in protection from malicious javascript redirects, not encrypting correctly (according to sources), getting DOS'd by a 13 year old boy (according to fpm), not putting in protections to block player-written cheat scripts, and having regular downtimes and slow loading. It's no wonder FP is easily breached and hacked.
Her inactive twitter [email protected] & [email protected] are her emails/site registers
The Average Player
16 year old girls who have no IRL friends. The average Furry-Paws player weighs upwards of 160lbs, has no social skills whatsoever, is a dyke and/or looks like a man. Additionally, a vast majority of the community is a fucking furfag.
Proud supporters of shitty emo bands and the Democrat Party (despite not knowing shit about politics [does any Democrat?]), they embrace feminism and think about how awesome they are for rejecting the conservative morals of their parents. Outcasts in the real world, these fat girls flock the only site that will simultaneously not judge them for being fatasses but that will also allow them to achieve a spark of e-fame by doing nothing more than sitting on their asses all day. Unsurprisingly, the main demographic is white, since There are no black people on the Internet. Eventually, the average player will never go anywhere in life, being in the same position (sitting on their asses playing FP) and not having any talent. They will settle down with either a fat basement dweller of a spouse or a fellow dyke, work low level jobs so they can spend it on FPP (can't seem to get their priorities straight) and eventually become an heros together.
Because they lack any form of social life, the members that do own IRL dogs develop obsessions with them in order to placate their longing desire for friends. Posting daily threads about their pets, they include shitty photography of their dogs staring blankly into the camera. As they are incapable of achieving e-popularity in any other way, they resort to whoring their dogs on the forums for other members to masturbate to.
Artists
Not good enough to obtain any sort of popularity on DevianTART, members resort to trying to achieve a significant amount of popularity within the cesspool of artistic failure that lays with Furry-Paws’ art community. Wielding the power of MSPaint, they brandish their computer mouse between their porky fingers and eventually create a heaving conglomerate of something, somewhat, maybe a little resembling art, but mostly, just fail. Convinced drawing dogs will get them far in the art world, they attempt to attend art school thinking a degree is going to help them earn a living but really only getting their income from basement dwellers who shell out for art for their own sim games.
The few competent artists, possessing knowledge of basic anatomy and design skills, gather a swarm of leeches that e-stalk them, hoping for free art or that, magically, their mad skillz will rub off on them. These motherfuckers charge USD$ for in-game art, which the masses inhale like cocaine fresh off the plane from Colombia.
Moderators
18+ players (unless underage b& sucks enough cock) who should be engaging in productive IRL activities such as: getting a job, hanging out with friends, or having real lives instead of spending upwards of seven hours a day on kiddie sites, banning teens/preteens for doing "naughty things". They are also all lesbians (who never actually get any), which explains why they think that a squid looks exactly like a penis. None of them understand the concept of a joke, so consequently, you'll get in trouble for making one. (Not that moderators are even needed, considering nothing ever fucking happens).
Now the search for new moderators has begun! This list consists of people like Dyr or DMG who have been voted off the FP Moderating Island due to being friends with BAD INFLUENCES. The mod staff have decided to encorperate American Idol into their process with the virgins doing their best impression of Simon Cowell.
Fursonas
Because members of Furry Paws hold dear the belief that animals > people, it’s unsurprising that furfaggotry runs rampant. Claiming that wolves are their "spirit animal" or their “true form is a bear”, they indulge in creating elaborate fursonas for themselves, decorating them with every motherfucking minute detail they can think of and slapping them in the forums to try and get free fan art. Since they're all so unique and innovative, most of their creations are Sparkledogs.
Emo Girls
In a constant state of BAWWWW at the fact that not only are they fat and ugly (and cognizant of the fact that this will result in dying alone), emo girls lurk the forums to express their melancholic agony of how shitty their lives are. Constantly lurking to find any topic wherein the OP expresses an opinion against the status quo of the website (ie, Christfags), emo girls focus their shitty haircuts and fat girl rage on anyone that dares to demonstrate a dissenting opinion on topics such as gay marriage or fat acceptance. Predictably, they all also claim to be bisexual. Usually wearing skinny jeans (despite being a fatass) and incompetent at using make-up (heavy dripping black eyeliner), they pretend to have "serious business issues" such as drug addiction/being in and out of rehab, mental illness, and domestic issues despite the fact they're well off enough to have internet and spend their allowances buying tags on fp. Anytime someone annoys said emo girls, they go on FP to rant about it.
Attention Whores
Thanks to a combination of Daddy not loving them enough and being too fugly to be a successful Myspace whore, the Attention Whores of Furry-Paws post pictures and videos of themselves on regular basis’, occasionally disguising them in a SHOW URSELF thread, but most of the time, just devoting entire topics to pictures of themselves. Thanks to the ironclad rules of ”play nice”, no one’s allowed to insinuate the unattractive aspects of even the ugliest Attention Whores, leaving the other members to only encourage them by posting positive commentary.
The Saga of Tea Hoot, Slight and Mud Puppy
Tea Hoot is a high school drop out who is a lesbian, she also lives in Australia. Slight and Mud Puppy, who both live in America, are her two pussy calls. One month, Tea Hoot will date Slight. After a few weeks of abusing Slight and forcing her to drop all her friends, Tea will dump her ass. The drama will be taken to the chat room where many lulz will be had. Tea Hoot will start dating Mud Puppy, but not before Slight starts spewing about how she will kill herself and how she wants Tea Hoot back. Mud Puppy, being the idiot she is will date Tea Hoot for a few weeks before they, too, break up. Slight will bow down on her fat knees and beg for Tea Hoot back, and the cycle will once start again. Let's also not forget that Naff (another lesbian dyke that spends her time playing with furfags) seems to enjoy bouncing around between Tea Hoot and Mud Puppy. These bitches just can't get their shit set straight. Way to go Tea Hoot, add more whores to your fandom! After MudPuppy went back to Tea Hoot, Naff commenced BAWWWING to her friends about her love life.
Though Tea Hoot was recently banned, her cult following seems insistent on keeping her drama on FPs. As quoted by a moderator, "If you want to talk about Tea and praise her in your creepy cult-glory, do it on MSN." Hooray for creepy cults!
Tea Hoot, not being satisfied as a attention whore likes to pretend that she is a awesome troll to save herself some face. Confirmed on her formspring http://www.formspring.me/putinhatesbush, stating she enjoys trolling fp and probably lied to have her friends regard her as "bringing lulz to fp".
The Saga of Nazi Dykes: Sheer, Sker, Alchemic Reaction
Sheer, a skinhead nazi reformist who praises,"Seig heil," to the German flag, yet partakes in her fellow dykenes and also belongs to a nazi goth, Sker, is merely a 13 year old low-life who depends on the company of Alchemic Reaction, another low-life follower of the skinhead reformation, who faps to Michael Jackson whilst BAWWWing over her deceased lover, Billy Mays. These little emo kids enjoy sleeping, fapping, and spending their hours inbetween on the computer trolling the Furry-Paws chat room for some 12 year old girls. If they aren't doing one of these, they are BAWWWing over their latest big breakup with their fellow dykebian girlfriend, commencing in false pity within the community.
Talon: He dies like 6 times a year
Talon AKA Lyrick AKA black person (we'll call him nigger), has "died". You see, Nigger hasd stage 4 cancer and 6 months to live. However, Nigger was too emo to wait for Satan to call him home, so he killed himself. Tears of joy echoed around the land of Furry-Paws as they realized the only black person there had become an hero.
Tragedy struck, however, when word came that Nigger was not truly dead. The oldest of FPians were certainly not surprised, but the two friends Nigger had that cried for him were overjoyed. Nigger wove some lie about how his friend, Durion, had kidnapped him and spread the "lie". Anyone who has ever spoken to Nigger knows that Durion is Nigger himself. Sadly, the friends of Nigger still believed him. Maybe one day, they can all become an hero's together.
BREAKING NEWS: Talon is confirmed by sources to be an entire fake itself. Since it has lied so many times, the true Talon remains a mystery. Talon is actually a ploy conducted by a female who's not a black person but instead stole the identity of one. link to Talon's inactive formspring
Moar Attention Whores
Kahlem: The owner of your furry-fag website claims she's going to school, but really spends her day stripping her ugly ginger ass for the leftover dinners people leave upon viewing her and nearly dying in disgust on their way out. Kahlem promises a revolution for furry-paws: a new layout OMGZ!! The majority of the community hates the layout, but dare they say it publicly (or privately for that matter), because Kah will get butthurt and BAWWWW to her doggie, who she named after her favourite meal, Chili. For said reasons, the community will publicly announce and suckup to Kahlem, saying they adore her new layout and it is a true revolution for FP and the unactive owner to do.
Nobody expected Kahlem (Kah) to go through with the layout. In fact, it's been in planning for years. But since Kahlem can spend two years collecting leftovers and pennies thrown at her ugly mop instead of working out her promises or logging into her own site, people have really lost hope in the case. Rebellions have been happening against this "owner", making her want to be an_hero instead of a failing stripper.
Vardan/Owlspot: "Vardowlspot is a former moderator who stalks other players in her spare time. The fact is, no one can tell what gender this fatass is; The size of a whale, she makes up imaginary relationships between her and other players since no one will ever spare a glance or a pity fuck her way. She spends at least 19hours+ in the chatroom masturbating to 12 year olds. If she isn't yelling at toddlers for breaking the rules, she's constantly begging for people to give her free stuff, then complains how all anyone ever does is beg.
Weezer: A 300 tonne brick house of a man beast who spends it's time reading and skulking the boards to scare kiddies into studying at school so they don't turn into a retarded fucktard like her/him. This asspie likes to prey on those it feels will fall beneath her infinite power on a kids game, because she has no fucking life (does anyone on this site have one?). She complains about her 5 pound Yorkie being savage and it may pull over her 300 tonne of lard because Yorkies have super powers. Basically another retarded basement dweller of Furry Paws who has adapted a delusional holier than thou attitude - because it's so cool on an internetz sitez.
Spike: A wannabe holocaust survivor who rants and raves about her scars from her 'angel' boyfriend beating her, she often relates back to the time when her daddy used to fuck her in the ass and enjoys her scum-bag's efforts to remind her of home.
After running away from home because mommy and daddy didn't love her, she went to live with her boyfriend who she met off Myspace. He then beat her, causing her to respond by going completely fucking nuts; She thrashed his electronics and beat him up in the woods with a stick.
"So When I got here, For that first week I had my angel back, I was so happy. Then I snapped and I guess punished him, I beat him in the woods with a stick! I know it is wrong but.. "
(Cause we all know beating your loved ones is the only good way to show you care, amiright?)
She also lives under the illusion that this is completely normal, and all relationships are like this.
Now, in an attempt to regain some type of redemption for what she did, she's started doing godly deeds around the site for people (because helping people on a virtual dog site makes up for beating people). She's 'renting' out her virtual dog kennel to 'those in need'. She's now recently decided to sell her 'soul' (like anyone would even want that) for site currency so she can keep upgrading her virtual kennel.
As of late, she's apparently moved back to Florida after being ass-raped one too many times by her 'boyfriend', and kicked out by his parents. She's recently decided to go an hero and gain furry paws fame, since she decided the site has gone downhill and it was her only means of existence."
In recent news, Spike's "IRL "friend" posted on their account that Spike was in trouble, causing a board of drama. Citizens of the furry fag fest sat back and LOLed at the post as the "friend" would continue to reply, slipping up and showing that it was Spike, truly, behind this madness.
LOL! BREAKING NEWS! Spike's Fur Fag boyfriend discovered he's gay and broke up with her! She "gave him her virginity" (because we believe that, rite guiz?) and wants people on the internet to kill him to get it back. Sleeping with Spike makes you gay!
Rivek: Previously gone by the alias of "Jonny" and "The Outlaw", Rivek is another tranny/dyke/can anybody tell the gender of any member on this site?. Currently dating a fellow dyke and moderator of the site known as Aggie. While Rivek enjoys the attention it receives from 12 year old girls online it prefers the company of horses. Rivek loves to think that it is god, and has mucho power over everyone else. Other trannies include Colie and Rift and Lost in Stereo everyone on that god-forsaken shithole.
Immortal Thunders (IT): IT is seen much like a God to the lowly basement dwellers who like to assrape her infinite wisdom. If anyone disagrees with the God then the basement dwellers revolt and desperately try to gang band the offender for not agreeing with the fucking dellusional antics of their master. IT treats her followers much like she treats her dogs, with disrespect, fucking and of course starvation. He or she (does anyone really know?) also likes to have daily sumo tag team moments with Rivek and complain about all fucking society being out to get them, the followers of course agree. Because being an idol for the furfaggots on an online kiddies game is really hardcore in the real world.
The holy trio of Allierain, Pariahs and Des:: The triage of holier than thou know-it-alls strike each and every post where they feel their infinite wisdom of assraping is needed. They dominate their dogs by fucking them from behind and claim to be all for positive training. They always give their input and often argue with each other until they all decide to fuck it and have an orgy. They also have groupies, trying to follow in their footsteps, commonly known as IT and Diah.
Onyx: Onyx is a suicidal psychopath that constantly goes on about how she "quit art" even though she is constantly spamming the Art Nook with her creepy ass "drawings". The majority of her art consist of wildly emaciated dogs with giant eyeballs. Every time she posts a hoard of fans haul some serious ass to compliment her. Truth is they all think she is creepy as hell but they are afraid that if they critique her she will off herself. As quoted by Oynx: "The majority of my characters aren't know on FP, either. They're not designs made to look pretty on tags like FP characters. I don't even buy/make art of most of my guys. That's not what they're for. I talk to them, interact with them, get advice from some of them, get annoying by some of them, (u_u), and just generally watch their lives." Recently killed a bunch of millipedes from being a complete dumb ho and giving them all mites.
Emily: Aka the next Talon; If she isn't BAWWWWing about how daddy doesn't love her, or how her family is to poor to support themselves without getting child support from him, she's most likely posting pictures of herself in an attempt to get attention. In the span of a week, her family managed to go through divorce, loose all their money and run out of food; Then the next week they gained everything back again, daddy loves her and she's managed to afford going on a major shopping spree and attending raves; Few months previous, her mother also apparently played and banned her from being on FP; She was also sent to a psych ward for emotional and eating disorders, but came back a few weeks later as if nothing happened. Once players started calling her out that her and her mother where one in the same, mommy wrote a bawwww post and took off. She also recently had a bunionectomy and enjoys talking about how the pain medications give her a drug effect.
Iesous/Eeyore/Absinthe: AKA stupid enough to post a link to her facebook page so everyone can see her ugly ass and equally trashy booty call. Posted about her abortion for lolz and got mad when it was celebrated as chlorinating the gene pool. So fugly, her boyfriend dumped her on her birthday. A loner, a nobody and a loser. She desperately attempts to change this page daily to remove her name, obviously having no clue how Wiki's work. link to her (probably) active formspring
POD: Stupidity personified, she spends her time whining and dwelling on the deficit of intelligence she possesses. This ugly beast of a basement dweller constantly attempts reverse psychology to get her way. Often times, she fantasizes of her own equally idiotic SIM becoming something. POD creates herself at a level unseen by everyone else on the website: immature and naïve of the cruel world, she believes life should be perfect and full of sunshine and happiness. Not only is she addicted to the internet, but she's an eleven year old emo. Often times, you'll see her annoying the shit out of poor distraught players, who only posted a single line on one of her attention-seeking posts. Easily offended she most likely participates in self mutilation for the attention. Hoarding her so-called friends is her favorite activity, though she has no hope of keeping them due to her idiocy. Often racist, ageist, and snobbish about the intelligence she's convinced herself she has. She recently decided to admit to having BAWWWWWWtism, as if we couldn't already tell.
Her response to being on here: Have you seen what they say about you on the FP encyclopedia dramatica page? Haha.;
Yes, and quite frankly I could care less about what they say. ;) - secretly butthurt
The Saga of Sker, Kirin, Toast, Smoothy, and Sheer: Sker, taking after Tea and even sharing the same name, is also looking for pussy on the internet. Sker is a Nazi and, in true Nazi fashion, treats everyone like shit and "cheats" behind the backs of her online "girlfriends". On top of that, Sker cuts her wrists on webcam and blackmails innocent people, fueled by her senile drug abused brain. Instead of spreading the drama publicly, her exes tend to BAWWWW about it to their friends on MSN, causing said friends to start drama of their own.
Mozart: Mozart, starting out as Noffie years ago on fp, was banned due to their lack of trolling skills. Within the year, the kid decided to make a come-back. Not making any attempt to change their 2_year_old drawing style, created an obvious image that Mozart = Noffie. Though the fp "community" isn't that smart, and would rather spend their time fucking their dogs instead of pointing out the obvious, they believed that Mozart had "come back" from their hiatus. When they came back, they flaunted their stolen male myspace pictures, and the girls of fp flocked "him". Lying and satisfied, Mozart carried on, bragging to the fp girls about his life and his art talents. Not long ago, Mozart had been frozen again, which could have been the result of two things. One, his unsuccessful trolling skills made everyone facepalm into the 3000's, or two, someone spilled the beans. Either of which, who really cares, Mozart is gone.
The duo, Kofii and Atomic: Keeping their relationship a secret from their best friend, their friends, and the rest of the fp community, these two homos made it clear that they were dating. Posting pictures of the pale white emo chicks over FP, having tags which feature their characters having sex, and hearts everywhere, made them have their moment. Kofii claims she's an amazing artist, while she sketches annorexic canines with fat heads and scene hair and prices it for outrageous prices, suckups continue to buy the worthless art. Atomic has a millimetre more talent than Kofii has, but they're both way down in the crapper in terms of skills. Atomic will BAWWWW if she doesn't get her way or if nothing sells. Continuously, begging for pity through private messages, the guilty resort to buying her "art".
Yale: Spends his day moping around and messing with some other whore to kill his time. Threatens to kill himself and gloats about his "padded room" experience, he likes to flash 11 year old girls, and juggles both men and girls in his life. He cheats on fake girlfriends and whines about how much hes a fuck up who can't even get a girl offline.
Zyfr: Basically the female version of Yale and a Tea incarcerate. She is insistent on arguing over the smallest of things, and loves telling people they are the reason dogs are being slaughtered. She will throw a fit if things do not go her way and it is quite obvious she is just a retarded 12-year-old.
Kiwi Gal: Another basement dweller that desperately wants a poodle. We're all kind of happy she doesn't have one yet, because the poor thing would probably commit suicide. Not that she deserves one anyway. Despite warnings, she's too fucking ignorant to realize that getting a puppy from a pet shop is a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE, so we can expect her to BAWWWW like a baby when her puppy milled mutt ends up having problems. Shockingly, she has no form of life outside her computer, resulting in her only hobby being to message other players on the site. Normally, the people who she messages have never talked to her in their lives and don't give a shit about anything she has to say. However, she doesn't fucking realize this, and harasses people until they block her so that they can remain content in their own virtual world. Unable to grasp the concept that there is a difference between real life and the internet, her most recent BAWWW-fest involves her ranting about how the Furry Paws bank interest rate and her real life interest rate are different and how she thinks this is unfair. Of course, no one can comment on this or they'll be bitched out by her extensive vocabulary (including words like: sarcastic, mean, rude, and other remarks usually only shouted by by seven-year-olds).
Mahou: From the few pictures of herself posted, it is obvious she is a huge ass whale. She loves getting into fights over pointless shit and demands to be right, though she generally makes the other player feel retarded by talking to them and "nicely" telling them they are wrong. She openly speaks of her hatred toward internet drama, but loves starting her own. Her mortal enemy is the one and only Iesous and her "BFF" is Leto- in her own words "If you mess with my Leto I will slice your throat, <3"
Sketch: Another "artist" with no grasp of reality. She is a 20-year-old high school dropout that fails her 2 IRL children. She BAWWWs in the Chatroom constantly about how shitty her life is and how much she wants to end it. If you do not see her in the chat room bawwing, it's most likely she has her legs spread and is creating another retarded baby. In recent news she is now pregnant again after aborting her last baby.
Audacious: Another fat tranny who assrapes all dogs from rescues and decides to "rescue" puppies. She ferments in the attention she gets when she 'rescues' a puppy from someone's backyard then decides to kill it off after it looks at her wrong. Nobody can keep track of how many animals have died in her care. And now, for many lulz, she may be pregnant!
Soteria: Aside from being another "artist" that has no grasp of basic anatomy, she's changed her names several times in an attempt to hide from people. Her fursona is a green sparkledog that will melt your retinas faster than a laser show on the sun. In her spare times she makes up excuses to not get her art done and BAWWWWs when things don't go her way. Enjoys stealing lots of USD, then never messaging the buyer back. Typical trailer trash with a 50.2 BMI, she can't get her priorities straight. Instead of fixing her dogs, she seems more interested in flying to another state to see some sort of "dog show". Recently, she has given up her cat to replace it with more inbred puppies.
Zoey: A retard who likes to talk about her dogs and create love poems to them then bawww about how fat they are. She also likes to write about deaths of pets from years ago -- she can remember the exact time of death but then forget the age of her pets.
Larthan: A furfag who, despite all claims that "she is female", is a male furry and a pedophile. He will give claims of offering 'her' photo identification and pictures of 'her' birth certificate, but these are obviously just pictures taken from google and photobucket. Despite all proof that he is obviously a male pedophile (and possibly a prostitute), he still manages to trick small children into talking to him and giving out personal information.
Snowshoe / Carlou: Another tranny-dyke of Furry Paws with image issues and gender confusion, Carlou has decided to mask 'his/her' identity crisis by creating an female-alter ego called Snowshoe. Snowshoe BAAWWWWS about her excuse for a wolfdog being given away by her assraping dad. Carlou / Snowshoe is also getting married to Kitty. Maybe another to add the the alter ego list? Cancel that, it was a lie to get attention. link to "Carlou's" inactive twitter
Labbetuss: A gay hate parader who proclaims 'I dont have any thing against people being gay. Its just the gay part I find wrong . ' She is an inner dyke.
Leto: One of Furry-Paws many moderators. She is known for two things: being a pedo bear and fucking as many guys as possible. She openly admits not to care about anything but moderating the chat room, yet it is her duty to moderate the entire site. She will spread her legs for anyone (as long as they have a black person). An average conversation with Leto is filled with "SEX. SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX RAEP SEX!!" Leto's public photobucket where you can view pictures of the anorexic looking basement dwelling tranny public myspace same ugly tranny Leto saw this page and put them both on private but here's her public youtube acct. Also, if you really wanted to seek down this sex-crazied transexual, here's her Facebook.
Abs: In September of 2010, a litter of mutts parading around under a designer breed name was born to the so called "best breeder on Furry-Paws." This ingenious match-up features her (OMG!!CLEARLY NOT A CHAMPION OK! Get your facts straight PLZ!!11) GSP stud and her conformationally challenged Labrador. Bitch then sells this "new" breed for $600-$800 a pop. She knows that everyone on Furry-Paws is an idiot and doesn't realize they can find the exact same damn thing in a shelter for $100 then get it trained themselves. If this were some other FPian everyone would be BAWWWWWWing but no, everyone wants a puppy from this miracle litter.
Other Ways To Be An Attention Whore:
- Place a picture of yourself as your tag; this way, no matter where you go on the site, everyone’s forced to look at you.
- Create a webshow devoted to the community. Everyone will love you, and you’ll gain instant popularity!
- Pretend to be gay, lesbian, or something that makes you super special and unique. Hell, even pretend to be mentally handicapped! That's sure to make you popular!
- Place your phone number up on Furry-Paws. "if n1 wants to call me plz do. im so bored. NO TEXTING I CANT TEXT! 1-270-922-6506 Plz call im so bored!"
Gallery
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Another FP babe, this time making out with a dog and doing it wrong.
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Nerdy
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The typical owner of your site.
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The hottest babe ever.
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Typical I R Haute, Fuk Me! -
The standard Furry Paws fatty. -
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FP (former) mod and player- Larger than life
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Androgyny is rampant. -
Androgyny is rampant. -
Attention Whore.
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Just another hot babe on Furry Paws. -
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Beastiality is a common sight. -
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Not even a fat girl angle shot can disguise this hambeast. -
Unable to find sustenance after voiding the kitchen of all food, she must resort to eating inedible objects. -
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An average husband to FPians. -
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Another hobby these furfags have.
Forums
Despite being social rejects, players on Furry-Paws take the opposite moral ground to other sites hosting communities of losers, maintaining a fascist regime of upholding as much political correctness as humanly possible. Consequently, the community is incredibly easy to troll as the mere mention of anything controversial will cause a flurry of backlash, with members demanding that the OP see the light and convert to either a liberal or conservative mindset (depending on the issue at hand).
Members, in an attempt to be cool, can’t resist engaging in feeding trolls, resulting in a vast amount of lulz to be had.
As of late, there has been posts circulating to encourage members to embrace the fact that it is okay to be what Furry-Paws says you shouldn't.
The Rant Board
The only portion of the site where anything even remotely interesting happens, the rant board consists of 12 year old girls BAWWWWing about how hard their lives are, how nobody loves them, and more shit nobody cares about.
EDIT: The rant board was deleted. Furry Paws sucks.
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
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Furfaggotry on the boards. -
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The typical response to a joyful post. -
Assburgers is exciting!
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A leaked mod screenshot. Part 1.
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What they do "behind the scenes".
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Worse than children..
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Any opinions?
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You're crossing the line..
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Rid of themmmm!
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i wun a fish and bought a bowl! - OMG lyk get a bigger bowl or ill call PETA - stfu ur gay im awesome -
Member realizing faggotry gets them nowhere. -
A confession arises. -
![I haet FP nao I'm not a lusr liek ED sez!! [/butthurt]](/images/thumb/0/06/ImCulCuzILiekED.PNG/64px-ImCulCuzILiekED.PNG)
I haet FP nao I'm not a lusr liek ED sez!! [/butthurt] -
i r b 10 yrz old n knt handl bad pikks or mi mom banz mi frm da interwebs -
How to get 165 replies on your topic: talk shit about Pitbulls. -
Trolling 101: Know your audience. -
Helpful Advice -
Even when they hate you, they love you. -
![I haet FP nao I'm not a lusr liek ED sez!! [/butthurt]](/File:ImCulCuzILiekED.PNG)
Lulzdrama!!!
Furry-Paws has had many lulzy times in it's history, these are just a few of such times.
September 2010 - OMG ED GOT ME HAXED!!
A new trend that has recently risen from the bowels of Furry-Paws. One day an attention whore thought of a great idea, a way to get sympathy and free money. She quickly posted a board, insisting that "someone at ED had to have hacked her" and she lost "over 70million dollars!!" The players, quick to react, began to panic and change passwords, and paranoia spread. Then a new challenger appeared, someone who had a reputation of being an honest person. They claimed they were hacked but "nothing was taken." They too blamed ED, and more paranoia spread. Who knows if the mania will continue? Who will get "hacked" next? Stay tuned to this page for the exciting continuation!!
September 2010 - Snowshoe is Carlou! B&! OMG DRAMAZ!
On an epic day in history, Snowshoe was called out for being Carlou with the help of many EDiots. S/he denied it and managed to get two posts closed before our knight in shining armor spread his hands far and wide and dropped a banhammer on her ass. However, Snowshoe appears to be so obsessed with the "truth" that she continues to denies it. A few sophisticated players believed that Carlou was not a lie, and stood up for them. The post in general was a huge fail. EDiots everywhere hope this sparks many lulz, however, and expect it. They also expect Snowshoe to "quit" at least 142357 times.
The end of the drama:
On September 28th, 2010 a thread appeared containing the truth of Snowshoe and Carlou. The thread was very quickly removed by the moderators, but not before this EDiot could capture screenies and save images. These are such images, proving that once and for all- Carlou IS Snowshoe:
Ways to Troll Furry Paws Players
- Mention your unfixed, mixed breed dog
- Own an unfixed dog
- Breed your dog (or cat)
- Say you support people eating dog meat/meat in general
- Be against gays
- Kill an animal
- Don't take your dog to a vet (even if it ONLY has a HANGNAIL!)
- Support cropping or docking (and not necessarily by a vet)
- Hate pit bulls/bully breeds
- Support dog fighting
- Remind everyone that the site's owner never does anything.
- Mention, even in passing, that you enjoy eating dog meat.
- Tell blond(e) jokes
- Say you don't support adopting from a shelter
- Post a topic that could trigger someone (rape, eating disorders, etc)
- Say you're 14 and pregnant and how proud you are to be so.
- Mention ED
- ATTITUDEEEE!!!
- Say you hit your dog
- Mention the revamp
- Hate dog update posts
- Reply to any of Abs posts with the URL to her website.
- Make rant regarding annoyance of mods
- Go to the heart of the beast: server located at 69.175.77.178; watch as basement dwellers cry over 12 hours of lost work on their dogs
- CHATSPEAK.
Furry Paws "Mature"
Recently a new website cropped up known as "Furry Paws Mature." The essence of Furry Paws "Mature" is that members can go and talk about "mature" things that they can not on Furry Paws. It has turned into, however, a "Bawwww my life sucks" website where Ieosous goes to cry about how horribly depressing her life is. When Ieosous isn't busy crying about everything that exists, the other members are crying about how their mommies never loved them, and how shitty the Furry Paws moderators are. Luckily for them, they can bitch their little hearts out and say whatever they want- because the mods had the rule books thrown at them that shows no matter what lies they create, they can't get in trouble on the actual site. (Though it certainly wont stop them from trying)
TL;DR:
BAWW BAWW BAWW BAW BAW BAW BAWWWW Ieosous' life sucks BAWWWW BAW BAW I got a warning for cussing BAW BAWWWW BAAAWWW People think my emaciated dog is too skinny and bitch at me about it and I'm such a huge cunt BAWW BAAWWWBABABAWWWW. She loves to listen to her parents have sex (as she mentioned on FPM) and refuses to realize she is spoiled. She thinks the phrase "Haters Make Me Famous" is true and loves to cause "drama" wherever she happens upon. When Ieosous is not being a spoiled brat bitching about her life she is fucking other men.
File:Fpmatureforsrs.png Furry-Paws Mature
- WARNING:
Joining FPM instantly makes you ineligible for anything on Furry-Paws. This means you can't win chat contests, you can never be an image bank rater (or have images accepted into the image bank), or a newbie helper. Basically, join under a fake name and never say who you are if you hope to be anything on Furry-Paws besides a low life fuck up (see what I mean by mods still try to get you in trouble?)*.
- this doesn’t apply to people who are already moderators, of course. How else would they spy on members?
See Also
External Links
| Furry Paws is part of a Series on Cyberpets |
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Furry Paws is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Furry Paws is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |