LiveJournal Buyout

After rumors began circulating that LiveJournal was being bought out by Movable Type-creator Six Apart, it quickly became an old meme for people to post in their journals that OH NOEZ TEH SKY IS FALLING LIVEJOURNAL HAS SOLD OUT!!!

A screenshot of the new LiveJournal & SixApart layout, by imanihilist

These people apparently didn't realize the benefit of vastly increased stability and development resources that would come from the tripled resource pool of a combined Six Apart/LiveJournal effort, not to mention some of the less obvious benefits like increased staff salaries. With the LJ Abuse team getting paid more, they'll finally be able to afford some decent looking hookers and a weekly 8ball of blow. After getting laid and snorting a fat line, they'll undoubtedly be less of a bunch of vapid tightasses, and with less tightassery from the Abuse team, fewer LiveJournal superstars will get suspended.

Not only that, but Six Apart + LiveJournal = SALJ. This omen heralds the triumph of the SALJers over the Internets.

For users, the first effect of the buyout was changes to the Terms of Service.

The second effect was opening the service to users younger than 13, plunging the average user age precipitously within weeks. Troll and sexual deviant targets immediately changed from angsty teen mall goths to the pre-pubescent whine set. Barbies and Hot-Wheels overtook iPods on camwhore wishlists, and perverts gained an interest in early developing eight-year olds.

It remains to be seen whether this was LiveJournal's shark jumping moment, though the second LJ buyout by TEH RUSSIANS OMGZ will qualify if nothing else does.

External Links

• Girlvinyl gets slashdotted for pretending to see ads on her LJ
  
• Six Apart

LiveJournal Buyout is part of a series on LiveJournal Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

LiveJournal Buyout is part of a series on epic events and trolls

Epic Win 2011 Norway attacks • 2012 GNAA Tumblr Ruin • AFI Incident • Agile2013 • /b/lackup • /b/space • BadfurDay VS. DeviantART • Bullet to the Head of the NRA • Chan Death • The Chanology Experiments • CosmicJohn CL Experiment • #Cut4Bieber • dAmn Exploit • DeviantART Policy Changes • Dub the Dew • Ebola-chan • #ExilePitbull • The Fappening • Firefox XPS IRC Attack • Guatemala Day • Habbo Raid 2006 • Habbo Raid 2007 • He Will Not Divide Us • Hitler TopTens • Hitler: The Babe Within • Internet Vigilante Group • JEWS DID WTC • Judith Park's Leaked Photos • LiveJournal Buyout 2005 • LiveJournal Buyout 2007 • LiveJournal Strikethrough • LJ Abuse Conspiracy • Muhammed Sex Simulator 2015 • Old /b/ Day • Olympic Flame • Operation LIONCASH • Operation YouTube • Pokéclipse • PROJECT CHANOLOGY • Pwnest Peters • RFJason CL Experiment • The Rolling : MTV Gets Rickroll'd • #SANDYLOOTCREW • Sharecash DDoS • Waterproof iOS7 • Y!Gallery Bans Anthro • YouTube Civil War • YouTube Furry War Epic Fail 4chan 2025 MegaHack • 4chan's Death and Revival • /b/-day • /b/'s Cancer • Boston Fail Party • Chanocalypse Naow • Dshocker • The ED Civil War • Em/b/assy Security Leak • GoddessTrinity • The Great Hack Of Facepunch • The Great ImageFap Troll • [email protected] • Italian Wikipedia Publicity Stunt • Operation Antfuck • Operation Awesome • Operation Blue Crayon • Operation Falcon Punch • Operation Timebomb v2 • Penis Pump Sex Scandal '06 • Perfection Girl • Re/b/oot • Shaymin • Sonic-cide

LiveJournal Buyout is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.