J. Neil Jednoralski

Meet J. Neil Jednoralski, age 65, from Salina, Kansas. Still on the Tea Party bandwagon (although he looks more like he's also on the Lemon Party bandwagon), this Disabled American Veteran's common sense is still M.I.A. in Vietnam. Fed up with the new social programs, Jednoralski though of a brilliant plan to arrest President Obama while he was in the Sunflower State.

The Ingenious Plan

Jednoralski was considering driving three and a half hour from his fallout bunker in Salina to Osawatome in Southeast Kansas. So patriotic this man was, he decided that he would need to bring his good friend the Second Amendment, and a fully loaded shotgun, to apply excessive force upon the black man.

Once there he would handcuff the President and place a citizen's arrest on charges of being a Kenyan Infiltrator. (Because there is nothing Kenyans love to do more than pose as Americans and become the President of the United States...except maybe show off at marathons.)

Neil had such a perfect plan to take take the president with him to the State Attorney's office in Topeka two hours northwest. (Like nobody was going to chase him down or make him stop to pay the toll on I-70, amirite?)

This plan was ever so elegant and flawless! It had to be shared liberally on the Internets on the various social networking sites he participated in! Everyone seemed to like this idea...except the Secret Service.

The Predicable Results

On December 5, 2001, the Secret Service yet again had to show up at another white Red State American's house, take his computer and guns, laugh their asses off, gave his shit back, and told him if they ever saw his wrinkly old ass near the President, they would arrest him AND take his guns.

Butthurt by such a serious threat by the President's bodyguards, Jednoralski didn't feel the hole he dug himself was deep enough. So he revealed himself to the local media, and moaned about how the government was restricting his Second Amendment rights.

Dox

The Salina Journal made his social networking habits, and much of his personal information, easy to view even without needing to visit any of these websites yet. All of that was made available in the video at the top of this page. No doubt the reporter is going to get a Pulitzer for his great reporting skills.

• Name: J. Neil Jednoralski
• Birthday: August 19, 1946
• From Chicago, IL originally.
• Studied at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
• Twitter: @Jednoralski
• Facebook: Surprisingly this old man has one.
• Website: JednoralskiEnterprisesLLC.com (Ooh...an LLC. No doubt his "business" license is in the state of New Mexico.)