Urizenus Sklar

	“	That was Dave's question, not mine, Angel, but yes we need more yiffing stories no doubt	„
	—Urizenus Sklar AKA Peter Ludlow, [1]

I AM A JOURNALIST OKAY

Urizenus Sklar, IRL Peter Ludlow[2], is a failed intellectual, whose claim to internet fame was a crusade to expose the truth about Patriotic Nigras's [3] evil conspiracy. While no such conspiracy exists, and the nigras were the ones doing the raiding, he wasted his time writing for the Second Life Herald to bitch about merciless Second Life griefers putting penises on his e-lawn. He is a linguistics and philosophy professor at University of Michigan; however, his main occupation is thinking he's hot shit.

In fact, as a piece of shit he is hot enough to warrant his very own Wikipedia page [4]. This page informs us that "Ludlow (with the journalist Mark Wallace) has cowritten a book about his career as a virtual world journalist titled, The Second Life Herald: The Virtual Tabloid that Witnessed the Dawn of the Metaverse. It is slated to appear in September 2007." This means that not only does he write vapid conspiracy theories for those reading the Second Life Herald, but now the rest of the world can bear witness to his failure at journalism. He wrote a newsletter about The Sims Online, criticizing Electronic Arts then got butthurt when EA decided they didn't want him playing anymore. After this, he started the Second Life Herald, an op/ed blog posing as legitimate journalism. Many Associated Press-worthy articles are printed, such as furry erotica, half-baked bitches at Linden Labs, and poorly-researched expose articles. However, many lulz can be produced by trolling people like Prokofy Neva and other advocates of serious business in their comment section.

He, according to the Second Life Times [5] (yet another fictional newspaper for a fictional world) has since retired from both the Second Life Herald and from Second Life. A cynical observer could point to the fact that the Linden Labs Jews were too busy collecting their ducats to ban him as the reason for his retirement. Denied the ability to claim that his altruistic sense of journalistic integrity led to him suffering for the good of the masses (as he did with The Sims Online) he had no way to be an attention whore so he left for pastures new.

Some argue the reason that he operated an online "newsletter" about Second Life stems from his flunking out of journalism college, and thus having no chance of getting a job with an actual newspaper, living instead with his broken dreams and resigned to a lonely, bitter life as a philosopher. They would be correct. His Wikipedia page mentions that he studied with Noam Chomsky. Armed with this knowledge we can safely assume that he is a slave of Zog and the Jewish cabal running Wikipedia. This would explain the presence of an article about him despite him having no relevance to anything.

He is now dead, having been eaten by a baby T-Rex after its father broke his leg in the cargo hold of the InGen transport Ship.

See also

• Ebaumsworld
• Patriotic Nigras
• Second Life
• Prokofy Neva