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Kaoru Yuuka

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Behold. She's single, you guys..
 
 
Hello! I'm Kaoru Yuuka!~ Many years ago, I was a pop star, rising to the height of stardom! However, I was knocked off the stage when my ex-boyfriend made up tons of scandals, and sold me out. I had no choice but to leave my home, and come to America.

Since then, I've done my medical training, and now I'm a nurse, taking care of the sick and injured! In my off time, I do baking, playing air guitar, and singing into hair brushes.

Come talk to me sometime! Whether you're alive, or living-impaired! *Grins* But if you're a pervert, I'll have to tranquilize you with my special tranquilizer gun!
 


 

—Kaoru Yuuka, on herself

KONICHIWA MINNASAN SUGOI DESU NE~*~♥ :3 This character is, by far, one of the biggest Sues you will find on the web, and she will get into some guy or girl's pants by any means necessary. Kaoru is a self insert for countless fandoms, in which her main goal is to ship herself into any canon or manipulate one of her many minions in order to play out a canon in a way that she can sleep with them before dropping them like a fly. A typical anime character hailing from Deviantart, she has big TITS and enough clones to show them off; she has yet to be told to GTFO.

Typical Profile summary

Only sugoi boobs defy logic and gravity
   
 
Nee? <3
 

 
 

— Kaoru's mating call.

Kaoru usually ranges from ages 21-26. She is from the great land of Nihon and has traveled to America due to either a tragic past about her singing career or to become an international popstar. She speaks broken Japanese and has a strict diet of Japanese snacks and desserts, though eating American food has make only her tits bigger, leaving the rest of her looking like she back problems. She has a fetish for pink color and for anything that is Ultra Kawaii and Japanese. As the clones kept coming out, the more her hair became pink because of her almighty pink fetish. She also has a living Cowlick that is most likely a tumor on her head, it can move on it's own and might even have emotions.


Cowlick Emotion List


The many emotions Kaoru’s cowlick reflects—this replies to both Kaostar and 99.


  • Curled backwards- Worried/ highly nervous
  • Stationary- Relaxed; default.
  • Twitch- When picking up on something; the twitches become more rapid if something intense is going on.
  • Flat- Angry. Think of a cat’s ears.
  • Straight up and frazzled- Scared SHITLESS. Think of a cat’s tail.


The cowlick can also form shapes, such as a question mark, a heart, and if she REALLY does not like you, prepare to get poked in the eye with it!

-Submission summary from Marysuefacepalm

Kaoru is always happy, always bouncing around so her tits will jiggle more,uses hearts, and constantly glomps in her posts (even more so if it's around someone she likes). She also has a singing voice that could make people cum right away, she's just that good and that Japanese.

The continuous traits always include a terrible past, death of parents, abusive boyfriend, and how she is looking for a permanent love, even if it's from her adopted Guardian figure. She makes her character absolutely perfect beyond that and boobs that will make a hundred men and some times women fall to their knees and jizz pink hearts. Throughout fandoms, she has been a nurse, a lawyer, a singer, a magical girl and a matchmaker. Even sometimes combining some of these like she's Barbie. There is also the fact that her art generally contains pantyshot and asses to continue to prove how Kaoru is more sugoi than you in every way.

   
 
IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK. My character is NOT a Mary Sue!! Get over your pathetic selves already and stopp being so jealous! <3 KONBANWA~
 

 
 

— Kaoru/Kamora, on herself.

Army of Skanks

They spread like a virus.

Kaoru only believes in the high power of labu and tomodachi. She doesn't condemn cheating from a partner, but if she does it, it is perfectly fine. She will try to hump anyone or anything that talks to her or shows any interest in, AT MOST, friendship. When you are in her labu range, you will find yourself being showered with fan art, hearts and hugs. From there, it'll progress to sex and then you are trapped. Her love is as big as her breasts, it's unstoppable and will just keep growing. If she finds that she's bored with a relationship or wants to get in another, she'll force the canon do something to upset her or just create another clone. In rare cases, the Kaoru AUs will meet and their mating calls will clash, causing one huge orgy. There was even an incident where she shipped herself with her and the Warden's son.

There is also a Male version of Kaoru, who looks like a gay back-up dancer ready for a night of wild sex with anything he can stick his cock in.His dick is ever so big, just like Kaoru's tits.

Most of her ships with canons are completely out of character. The canons are turned into mushy sues themselves who's only goals are to appease the queen of sugoi desu in the most sappy anime way possible.

   
 
Ok so the abridged version is: She’s basically a weeaboo, multiverse, self insert masturbation fantasy who has Barbie Doll Syndrome (is a professional everything. Ex. Doctor Barbie, Babysitter Barbie, Pro Tennis Barbie, etc.). Great… And she causes drama in the dA community.
 

 
 

Marysuefacepalm @ Tumblr

The Many Fandoms Kaoru Has Been In

Homestuck, Batman, Pokemon, Final Fantasy, Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name, Ghost Trick, Venture Brothers, The Adventures of TinTin, Professor Layton, Lupin the Third, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Sayuki, Gundam, Ouran Host Club, Rocky Horror Picture Show... the list never seems to end. The bitch seems to show up everywhere, at everytime, in every fandom. She even made an Ed, Edd, & Eddy Sue at one point. Whores. Whores everywhere, nee?

The list is most likely endless since Kaoru is so sugoi dated back that she probably did it with Jesus and the dinosaurs. Along with that, she has also been on hundreds of Social / networking sites with hundreds of clones, collecting up all the canon and labus she can get. From Gaia to Tumblr. Kaoru will change her character only a little bit to suit whatever the fandom is. Whether it's a slight change how her name is spelled or making her tits bigger to find a mate of the week.

Kamora

everything is kawaii and nothing hurts <3

The Homestuck version of Kaoru. She is the supposed more classier slut version. She has pink hair and makes out with everyone & anything, but doesn't blubber over Japanese phrases like her other counterparts do. She started out as a mutant fantroll with incorrect blood and 3 horns ( her cowlick was the 3rd horn. Go figure) who shipped herself with Eridan, Calliope, Vriska and a handful of fantrolls before getting so butthurt that she made her character into a Carapace who of course exiled herself over ~LOVE~ and now ships herself with every single one of The Felt & Midnight Crew. She once again got so butthurt because of some meanie faces that she turned her character into even more of a sue by making her some human who was disfigured by acid;, meaning she's absolutely gorgeous beyond white splotches and pixie cut hair under a pink wig. OH THE HORROR, nee?

Don't ever offend the Suethor

Typical Suethor reaction

One cannot talk bad about Kaoru ever, that is blasphemy. Even the smallest of critiques will take her it badly. Remember that Kaoru is the most sugoi character known in existence. Her kira kira will shine above all and if you don't like it, she will welcome you to suck her dick. The suethor makes that very clear how great her character is and doesn't care if you don't like one thing about her, even if it doesn't make sense to the fandom she has joined.

Usual reaction demonstrated by using memes

She will throw a hissy fit, block everything or shut everything down, then turn herself into the victim so her fanclub will come to her rescue and bitch out anyone who has offended the great Kaoru. She will then delete any criticism on her blog to show only a shower of compliments she received from her over-reaction so she'll look like an innocent flower. If you don't rp with or talk to her, she will claim how lonely she is and will go emo until someone feels bad enough to rp with her. If you compliment her, she'll get all modest and beg for more attention for someone to like her.

Her causing so many fits has also gained her a reputation of being a whiny attention whore, which is why a lot of fandoms have turned their back on her and why she is on so many marysue blogs and forums. Whenever someone spots a new Kaoru on their site, they just block and run. No character or creator is every safe. She is a 16-year-old girl stuck in an almost 30 year old woman's body who would most likely ship herself with Chris-chan.

The evolution of shipping Gallery

Am I Kawaii Desu, nee~?<3! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


What to do if you spot a wild Kaoru

  1. Put in airbuds to protect yourself from the Siren's 80's techno J-pop song
  2. Run and protect your ass.
  3. Never look back. Single or not, she'll try to fuck you, Nee?

See also

External Links

chibi-sanzo

pinkie-cupcake

 Venture Bros Facebook
 Popstar Facebook
 Carapace Facebook

Featured: Mary Sues Blogs Everywhere

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