Dogecoin

Dogecoin (also known as Dodgycoin) is an open source peer-to-peer cryptocurrency, whatever the hell that means. It was introduced to the Internet on December 6th, 2013 and became favored by Shiba Inus worldwide because dogs care about human space bux.

Origins

For those who actually have a job and don't spend all day on the Internet, Dogecoin is named after Know Your Meme's "Best Memes of 2013: Editorial Choices," Doge. The cryptocurrency is programmed by a former IBM engineer who never heard about memes, but when someone suggested Dogecoin, he went with it. While he had an interest in virtual currencies, he distanced himself from Bitcoin due to it's association with Silk Road and other controversies, failing to realize Doge was popularized by a bunch of drug addicts.

Dogecoin's true purpose is to get people to spam the Doge meme everywhere so it becomes 2014's Mosted Hated and Unfunny Meme of the Year. A glimpse at news headlines and postings by currency holders confirms that Dodgycoin off to a good start. Those who can't afford to purchase a coin for $0.0006 but aspire to become a dogillionaire can still pack their Dogewallet with Dogecoins by visiting an online ~~faucet~~water bowl.

Is it unfunny yet?

Lemmings

"Make dogillions today!"

Due to the nature of virtual currencies, governments are unable to regulate them, so if someone's Dodgycoins get stolen, they're out of luck. For all intents and purposes, Dogecoins have the same worth as vaporware. However, since it was named after a popular meme, clueless people opened up their wallets, eager to invest.

When Dogecoin was first introduced, many thought it was nothing more than an Internet prank. A couple weeks after its introduction, the value had decreased by 80% due to exploits in how new coins are generated. Most who purchased Dogecoins never heard of the thousands lost by others when sites that function as "online wallets" for Bitcoins were either hacked or shut down without warning.

With a currency less than a month old and a bunch of clueless ~~users~~investors, would could possibly go wrong?

doggywallet.com hacked

In an epic troll move that made the Grinch himself smile, this question was answered on Christmas Day. Someone managed to find a security hole in Dogewallet, where many stored their precious Dodgycoins. The hacker stole around 30 million space bux, worth about $12,000, earning him the distinguished honor of being the only hacker to steal less than what a part-timer at Burger King makes in a year.

After doggywallet.com was compromised, it was shut down along with its Facebook and Reddit accounts, a reasonable and totally unsuspicious move. Those who purchased coins "for the lulz" were suddenly taking Dodgycoins as serious business, much to Bitcoin's amusement. Doggywallet blamed users for storing large amounts of coins on its site, stating the currency should have been stored offline instead. In layman's terms, the web developers didn't know jack about security.

Still not having a clue, "investors" began posting email addresses, usernames and other account information for all to see on Dogewallet's new Reddit page. Conspiracy theorists speculated this was an inside job, others panicked and some threatened lawsuits, proving the only joke here is everyone involved. At least now people take fake money...er...Dogecoins, seriously.

	“	How will you do that? I lost over 160k doge, I emailed you the day before I got hacked, my username was sohaibk and email that I used to message you was [email protected]. Send my Doges home: D5r7TXcU3JqqtBXAZXKJtNL7LAFUfFYeDm	„
	—sohaibk, THANKS FOR SHARING!

YouTube

Below are some YouTube videos, some of them show how to mine Dogecoins. Go ahead and get in on the cryptocurrency action, we'll laugh at your ignorant ass when they vanish into cyberspace.

Doesn't cover Dogecoin's epic blunder

How to Mine Dogecoins #1

How to Mine Dogecoins #2

Previous Video | Next Video

Quotes

	“	Hello Dogewallet, I mined 2400 dogecoins and I am collecting them as if they were real money. I would like you to refund these to my new safe offline wallet: DLpxkpRGhH2G6Mf7juzcoetZV5NiFWn1sf My username was: dennis1853 And my address was: D9vHp1TbGsAk7kresPBtmQaNYWRDaFxH5n I'm very sad about this happening and I hope you will refund me in this way. I know you might not care about your small customers but if you do then refund me these Doges!	„
	—dennis1853, sad about $1.36 in Dogecoins... GTFO

	“	I'll give you chance to resolve this, but be aware that I'm beyond pissed since I lost 667k today; not a happy xmas.	„
	—mondain, $400 in Dogecoins... dumbass

	“	PLEASE SEND ME MY COINS IVE MESSAGED FOR DAYS OVER 10 MESSAGES	„
	—Viper15973

	“	I'll give you chance to resolve this, but be aware that I'm beyond pissed since I lost 667k today; not a happy xmas.	„
	—mondain

	“	I agree, I keep failing to understand why people would keep wallets online. I think there is appeal of "the cloud" for documents, games, lots of files and such. However with how early cryptocurrency is, I wouldn't trust anyone to keep my wallet safe and secure online.	„
	—snackies