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Survivalist

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Survivalists believe that the government is going to get them, so they try not to draw attention by stockpiling supplies, high-powered weaponry, creating fortresses, and bombing federal buildings.
Typical survivalist ready for the first zombie apocalypse.
Survivalist have a low standard on what constitutes freedom

A survivalist is created when a pyro and/or anarchist grows up, but doesn't mature out of their anti-authority "FUCKTEHPIGS" mentality. This changes to "Fuck the GOVERNMENT", so basically survivalism is an upgrade on stupid. Most survivalists can be found in the southern states however, this does not necessarily mean they don't have internets access. Survivalism is passed from generation from generation by the teachings of the Waco Siege, and cries about how the government were such AWP whores. Survivalists are also known to be internet tough guys, conspiracy theorists, batshit insane, and own a library of Paladin-Press books.

The Idea

   
 
Actually, money is totally unnecessary for survival as a human. You can just give up everything you have and hunt and gather for yourself. You know, so long as you don’t get shot for trespassing.
 

 
 

some Genius

One of the fundamental beliefs of survivalism is that the world is gonna end (due to CIA, Furluminati, Partyvan, Jews, Miltopia, etc.) so we have to stock up on plastic sheets, duct tape, lotsa guns, and furshampoo. Their wet dream fantasy is the breakdown of society, so they can get bragging rights to who was "more prepared" and to give them an excuse to shoot would-be looters. One of their biggest voices for the survivalist movement is Kurt Saxon - a good role model who just so happened to blow most of his hand off making an explosive device.


Y2K

Interest in survivalism started to spike with the new millennium fast approaching. Every dumbass and their dog bought into the hype; they bought massive amounts of canned food and guns. Of course noone knew that absolutely nothing happened, leaving survivalists to be the laughing stock of the year. The butthurt ones that wouldn't give up tried again with "the world ends in 2001, the REAL millennium", which of course nothing happened again.... except for WTC.

How to troll Survivalists

Trolling Survivalists is pretty easy. Most of the time you are dealing with stupid Rednecks who like to keep fucking their sister after the world has gone to shit. You have to get an account, a good site is found here. Introduce yourselves, say you have a ranch, bonus points for saying you live in Texas, you started to 'prep' after X hurricane/tornado etc etc. Now it's going to get fun. Tell you're a democrat and rant on some right-wing dipshit. Tell you have 1337 skillz and that you have over 9000 rounds of ammo and that creationism is a lie. Also tell you got snares and traps set up around your perimeter to stick it to the man. Ultrabonus points if you have a gay rights flag as a avatar.

See Also:

External Links

Even maddox knew Y2K was bullshit