Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 9, 2025

Billy Mitchell

William James Mitchell, Jr. (a.k.a. The King of Kong The World's Tallest Midget, Garrett Bobby Ferguson, Giant Bearded Face and Silly Bitchell) is a 60-year-old gamer and a cheater who is most well known for looking like a washed up Kenny Loggins on meth and for having a forehead that's almost as big as Ritsu Tainaka's. He is known for leveraging copyrights and personality rights to attack criticism.

Once upon a time, Billy claimed to have some high-scores on some video games made during the Civil War and crowned himself THE KING OF KONG, complete with making a plaque for himself claiming it was from Namco, and used this to gain clout and fame, until some dorks analyzed the footage and proved conclusively he cheated, much like his friend and suspected gay lover Todd Rogers. He had his high-scores for Donkey Kong, Pacman, and Custer's Revenge wiped off the official scoreboards and probably about three people cared. Now, the amount of "fame" one gets from this is about the amount of fame you get for inventing a hilarious new meme, and people cheat all the time, so why should you OR your friends at Encyclopedia Dramatica care? Why are we even wasting the bandwidth talking about a scruffy afghan hound who plays video games for a living?

Because, rather than say LOL INTERNET, Billy decided to also go for the Lolcow high-score and launched Lolsuits against Twin Galaxies arcade, the group that called him a cheater. Then he launched a lolsuit against Youtuber Karl Jobst for calling him responsible for Apollo Legend becoming an hero. Then he sued Regular Show for Garret Bobby Ferguson. Then he sued Jobst again when Jobst started spewing out video after video about him for the lulz. Then he sued David Race, the actual Pac Man world record holder, for farting in an elevator. Then he sued Twin Galaxies again for, uh, we'll get back to you on that one. The fella basically Barbara'd himself to the point that the whole fucking planet only knows him as "that guy who sues fucking everyone over the equivalent of a grade school playground argument about who's the bestest Mario player", and ensured himself a place in our Rogues Gallery for all eternity... or until the next country takes our site down. Whichever comes first.

(( Scoring high in games and dollars. USA!!! USA!!! USA!!! ))

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