So cash/variations/Celebrity Cash

A

Abbott Cash

Hey Labor voters,

My name is Tony, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, left wing, unionists who spend every day thinking up new taxes. You are everything bad in Australian politics. Honestly, have any of you ever balanced a budget? I mean, I guess it's fun spending it up big with our surplus to buy votes, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than voting for Socialists Alliance.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of my surf club, and a Rhodes Scholar. What policies do you have, other than “kick out your leader when he’s down in the polls”? I also compete in triathlons, and have an awesome pair of budgie smugglers (I’m wearing them now; Shit is SO cash). You are all closet socialists who should just quit politics. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my deputy.

Alco Cash

Sup /b/,

The names Constantias and your a bunch of little virgin fucks. I am a part-time underwear model who earns $80000 a year. I have modelled for Calvin Klein, Versace and Prada to name a few elite brands. What have you modelled for you bunch of small PENISed wimps? What do I do in my spare time you may ask? I am also a part-time "Player" meaning I womanize girls and have awesome sex with their 2% body fat bodies and 34DD tits all night in my highrise New York City apartment. I have rock hard pecs and chiesled abs which I love more than my parents. What do you have besides a fat gut and man boobs you sorry fucks. I get into New York City's finest clubs as a VIP(jealous bitches?) and hook up with numerous bitches, I never leave the club without a blonde-haired, tanned beautiful exotic woman under my muscular arm, the same type of girls you faggots have wet dreams about you dickheads. I bet you losers ideas of a night out is watching porn all night and masturbating over Victoria's Secret models, they are the types of girls I give pearl necklaces (thats right, i love dropping loads on big tits). Jealous, cunt?

My parents have an excellent marriage and are very wealthy, they bought me my first solarium when I was 14, unlike you sorry fucks who's parents probally divorced when you were young and lived in trailer parks, what a bunch of worthless crap you guys turned out to be.

Mock my carrot coloured skin, my clothes or my puckered lips pose and I will drop you, with my perfect body and a black belt in Karate, I will gladly hand each of you a piece of Constantias.

I get discounts at high end resturants and get 15% off all drinks at nightclubs except for cocktails.

Be jealous you pansies.

Pic related: me in the middle

Peace virgins

B

Bob Dole cash

Hey Faggots,

Bob Doles name is Bob Dole, and Bob Dole hates every single one of you. Bob Dole thinks all of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any votes? Bob Dole means, Bob Dole guesses it's fun making fun of people because of Bob Doles own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than refering to yourself in third person.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit Bob Dole with your best shot. Bob Dole is pretty much perfect. Bob Dole was United States Senator from Kansas from 1969–1996, and the longest-serving Republican leader. What politics do you do, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"? Bob Dole is also special counsel at the Washington, D.C., law firm of Alston & Bird., and have a banging hot wife (She just ran unsuccessfully for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2000 and was elected to the United States Senate in 2002.; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening to Bob Dole.

Pic Related: It's Bob Dole and his bitch

Brucie Cash

Hey losers,

My name is Brucie, and I am genetically superior to every single one of you. All of you are fat, pasty, virgins who spend every second of their day looking at my tight ass abs. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever chased any blonde, tanned d-cup pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people's cars because of your own shitty family sedans, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to my pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I am fucking perfect. I own a ferrari, and sell Lamborghinis to the richest men in the world. What sports cars do you own, other than "a shitty 1967 dodge pickup truck"? I am also straight and not gay, and have multiple hot girlfriends (we just had a massive orgy; Shit was SO Alpha Male). You are all queers who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my blonde, tanned, d-cup bitch.

C

Chewbacca Cash

File:Chewbacca cash.jpg

acworo wwrarrrrooaoc,

scro whrascwo ahc shooacwh, rawhwa ah acraaowo wohoworcro cahwhrranwo oowhwo ooww rooohu. raanan ooww rooohu rarcwo wwraao, rcwoaorarcwawowa, whoo-anahwwwoc ohacoo cakwowhwa wohoworcro cwooaoowhwa ooww aoacwoahrc wararo anooooorahwhrr raao caohuakahwa racc akahoaaohurcwoc. rooohu rarcwo wohoworcroaoacahwhrr rhrawa ahwh aoacwo ohoorcanwa. acoowhwocaoanro, acrahowo rawhro ooww rooohu wohoworc rrooaoaowowh rawhro akhuccro? ah scworawh, ah rrhuwocc ahao'c wwhuwh scraorahwhrr wwhuwh ooww akwoooakanwo rhwooarahucwo ooww rooohurc ooohwh ahwhcwooahurcahaoahwoc, rhhuao rooohu raanan aoraorwo aooo ra ohacooanwo whwooh anwohowoan. aoacahc ahc wohowowh ohoorccwo aoacrawh shworcorahwhrr oowwww aooo akahoaaohurcwoc oowh facebook.

waoowh'ao rhwo ra caorcrawhrrworc. shhucao acahao scwo ohahaoac rooohurc rhwocao cacooao. ah'sc akrcwoaoaoro schuoaac akworcwwwooaao. ah ohrac oaraakaoraahwh ooww aoacwo wwooooaorhraanan aoworasc, rawhwa caorarcaoworc oowh scro rhracorwoaorhraanan aoworasc. ohacraao cakoorcaoc waoo rooohu akanraro, ooaoacworc aoacrawh shraoaor oowwww aooo whraorwowa warcraohwh shraakrawhwocwo akwoooakanwo? ah raancoo rrwoao caorcraahrracao ra'c, rawhwa acrahowo ra rhrawhrrahwhrr acooao rrahrcanwwrcahwowhwa (cacwo shhucao rhanwooh scwo cacahao ohrac coo oaracac). rooohu rarcwo raanan wwrarrrrooaoc ohacoo cacoohuanwa shhucao orahanan rooohurccwoanhowoc. aoacrawhorc wwoorc anahcaowowhahwhrr.

akahoa rcwoanraaowowa: ahao'c scwo rawhwa scro rhahaooaac

Chris Brown Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Chris Brown, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the watermelon eating team, and starter on my chicken detecting team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just got knocked the fuck out; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch after I fucking kicked her ass.

Chris-chan Cash

Hello Citizens of the Internet,

My name is Christian Weston Chandler, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are mean, shithead, PEANUTS who spend every second of their day twisting my words around and consuming your ego. All I want to do is find my sweetheart. Honestly, have any of you ever bought yourself a my little pony figure to understand girls better? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of my insecurities, but you all take to a whole new icky and mean level. My wooden badge was delicious.

Don't be a homosexual. It's icky and bad and God won't like you. I'm pretty much just a sap chump loser. I am the creator of Sonichu (he blew me last night, it was SO cash!). What other sports do you play other than the cruel game of KICK THE AUTISTIC and THAT WAS CRYSTAL WITH THE EYES CENSORED NOT MEGAN. MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS!!! Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my sweet heart

Cruise Cash

Hey SP's,

My name is Tom, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day wishing they could be clear. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been audited? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of clears because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than making fun of Battlefield Earth. Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I'm the face of a SERIOUS religion, and helping cure the mentally ill. What religion do you follow, aside from "Jesus died for my sins"? I also get straight OT levels like you wouldn't believe, and have a banging hot leader (He just made me OT VIII; Shit was SO operating thetan). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my leader

D

Danzyboy Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Danny, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any asshole? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I am a jnr black belt in kickboxing, and am competing in the 2012 Taekwondo Olympics. What sports do you do, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's at work experience, and have a banging hot boyfriend (He just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my boyfriend (on the left), he got white belt in 2 weeks

Dennis Ritchie Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Dennis and I hate every single one of you. All of you are pathetic software developers who spend every second of the day programming in a faggot language like Visual Basic or Java. Honestly, have you ever tried using a real language like C? This is worse than using Mac OS X as your development environment.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I wrote the book on C, I fucking know everything. I was also a big shot at Bell Labs back in the day. Did you know I invented UNIX? That's right motherfucker, fucking UNIX. (shit was so revolutionary, it got me a Turing prize). Fuck all you faggots who refuse to use a good language.

Pic related, it's me and my computer

Despicable, Slimy, Scummy, Cash

Hey Hackers,

My name is Bill, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are despicable, slimy, and scummy. You spend all day hacking personal emails. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly have you ever had any private conversations? I mean I guess its fun to post pictures of Palin's children, but you take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than her sending official government messages through personal e-mail.

Don't be a stranger, I'm DARING YOU to come and get me. Just hit me with your best talking point. I'm pretty much perfect. I'm on Faux News prime time, and co-wrote my own books. What news do you broadcast other than "Bristol Palin's phone number"? I also have a killer afternoon Radio program, and have a banging hot prime-time post show anchor (She just blew me; Shit was SO Factor Gear). I'm calling the FBI, Justice Department and Attorney General. Wait for my follow up tomorrow on the factor. You are all left wing perverts who should just get arrested. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my female coworker.

E

Emma Watson Cash

Hey Faggots

My name is Johnny, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarted, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid-ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I sing for my band Razorlight, and I shoot heroin. What do you do, other than jack off to my girlfriends pussy in see-thru panties? I also didn't finish high school, and have a banging hot girlfriend(Emma Watson bitches - I took her cherry before she turned 18; Shit was SO tight). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves.

Thanks for listening.

Pic related: Its me and my bitch.

F

Fritzl Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Josef, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at my stupid pictures. I will rape everything in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any of my daughter's pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of my daughter on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I've refurnished my basement, and have seven kids/grandkids. What have you done, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"? I get laid ANY time I want, and I have a banging hot daughter (I just raped her; Shit was SO quid). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

G

George Zimmer Cash

HEY FAGGOTS,

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS MY DEEP AND PASSIONATE HATRED TOWARD ALL OF THE VIEWING PARTY, AND YOUR MOTHERS. WHILE PERUSING THE VAST VARIETY OF INTRICATE PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITES OFFERED BY YOUR MOTHER I STUMBLED ACROSS YOUR QUITE HORRID SITE. ALL OF YOU WOULD BE BEST DESCRIBED AS FAILED ABORTIONS AFTER I DESTROYED YOUR MOTHERS VAGINAL VALLEYS WITH MY MONSTROUS MEAT MONSTER WHOM SPEND EVERY SECOND OF YOUR DAYS VIEWING PORNO. TO BE QUITE FORWARD, NONE OF YOU HAVE TASTED THE GLORIOUS GLOWING JUICES OF YOUR MOTHERS VELVET UNDERGROUND AS I HAVE. ALTHOUGH I QUITE ENJOY POUNDING FURIOUSLY ON THE PELVIC FIELDS OF YOUR MOTHERS, THIS SITE IS QUITE SUCCESSFUL IN TAKING PERVERSION TO THE NEXT LEVEL. ACTIONS OF THIS NATURE COULD BE COMPARED IN A QUITE WORSE MANNER TO JERKING OFF TO PICTURES OF SUITS IN MY MOST SUCCESSFUL MEN'S WAREHOUSE. ALTHOUGH YOU MUST BE JEALOUS OF THE EVENTS THAT ARE IMMINENT TO FOLLOW THIS THREAD, IN WHICH I WILL RAVAGE YOUR MOTHER'S BODY LIKE THE LIFELESS RAGDOLL SEXFIEND SHE REALLY IS, PLEASE PROCEED IN COMPLAINING FURTHER ABOUT YOUR POINTLESS LIVES. I COULD NOT OBTAIN A STATE OF MORE PERFECTION. I HAVE WRETCHED OPEN THE LEGS OF MORE WOMEN AND PROCEEDED TO GIVE THEM A SAMPLE OF MY MONSTROUS FRONTAL PIECE AND FLOWING WHITE RIVERS OF LOVE THAN ALL OF YOU COMBINED. IN ONE ENORMOUS SWIFT EXPLOSION OF MY GARGANTUAN DONG I CAN EMIT AN OCEAN OF MILK TO TOWER OVER EVERYONE ON THIS SITE'S PUNY DROPLETS OF SEMEN COMBINED. I NOW SUGGEST ALL OF YOU PROCEED IN ENDING YOUR PITIFUL LIVES. "I GUARANTEE IT!"

PIC RELATED: IT'S ME AND YOUR MOTHER.

Godspeed Cash

Hey Liberals,

My name is Andrew, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are deceitful, pseudo-intellectual, non-achievers who spend every second of their day censoring conservative speech. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten close to Jesus? I mean, I guess some people need to open their minds, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than homosexuality and evolutionism.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, and I'm the founder of my own online, trustworthy encyclopedia. What have you accomplished, other than "praise fellow liberals"? I also give my homeschooling students straight A's, and have a wife who’s willowy and submissive (we've had sex in the missionary position three times in total; Shit was SO Godspeed). You are all liberals who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me. My wife is in the kitchen.

Grawp Cash

WIKIPEDOS

GRAWP HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FAT RETARDED NO LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF DAY ROLLBACKING IP EDITS FROM SCHOOLKIDS. GRAWP THINK YOU EVERYTHING BAD IN WORLD. HAVE ANY YOU EVER GOT ANY PUSSY? GRAWP GUESS YOU THINK IT FUN BLOCKING VANDALISM-ONLY ACCOUNTS BECAUSE OF YOUR INSECURITIES, BUT YOU ALL TAKE TO WHOLE NEW LEVEL. THIS EVEN WORSE THAN SCEPTRE JERKING OFF TO RIANA.

DON'T BE A THATCHER. JUST BLOCK ME WITH YOUR BEST CHECKUSER. GRAWP PRETTY MUCH PERFECT. GRAWP CAPTAIN OF THE PAGE MOVE TEAM, AND STARTER ON THE UPLOADING GOATSE AND LOL WUT TEAM. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, OTHER THAN "REVERTED EDITS BY GRAWP TO LAST VERSION BY JESKE COURIANO"? GRAWP ALSO GET ENCOURAGEMENT FROM ED, AND HAVE SEXY BITCH (SHE JUST SUCKED MY MASSIVE COCK, SHIT WAS SO HAGGER????????????????????????????????) GRAWP THINK YOU ALL FAGGOTS WHO SHOULD BECOME AN HEROES. GRAWP LAUGHS IN YOUR FUCKING FAGGOT FACES FOR LISTENING.

PIC RELATED: IT'S GRAWP AND URBAN ROSE

H

Heath Ledger Cash

Hey Nolanfags,

My name is Heath and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day making stupid ass threads about me. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten to buttfuck Jake Gyllenhaal? I mean, I guess it's fun overhyping pretentious movies, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than dying naked, face down in Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I took an assload of Ambien, and popped dozens of Oxycontin. What pills you do take, other than "jack off to how tragic it was that I died"? I also get great roles in movies like "Ten Things I Hate About You", and had an awesome funeral (They sprinkled my ashes into the ocean; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves after watching "A Knight's Tale". Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch.

High Levels of Authority cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Axila, and I have higher levels of authority than every single one of you. All of you are un-opped, internet famous, trolled faggots who spend every second of their day chatting instead of raiding Tom Green. You are everything bad in #tomgreen. Honestly, have any of you ever trolled Tom? I mean, I guess it's fun talking about your personal lives because of your own fail calls, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Bob's livejournal channel.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in the Army, and now an unemployed security guard. What jobs have you had, other than "jack off to my gb <3's #billnye cock pic"? I also have high levels of authority, and have a banging hot @ (ChanServ just opped me; Shit was SO trolled). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my high levels of authority

Hitler Cash

Hey Jews,

My name is Adolf, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are greedy, big-nosed no-lifes who spend every second of the day stealing money. You are everything bad in Germany. Honestly, have any of you even been to concentration camp? I mean, I guess it's fun getting called about your religion all the time, but you could take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than Islam.

Don't be a stranger, just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was leader of the master race, and killed millions of Jews. What sports do you play, other than jacking off over your money? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me, Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

I

ICP Cash

File:ICP cash.jpg

Hey Magnets,

My name is shaggy-2-dope, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are magic,no-lifes who spend every second of your day making bonds. You are everything miraculous in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever found out how you work? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun to talk a lot of lies and get me pissed, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than a pelican eating my cell-phone.

Don't be a juggalo. Just hit me with your best miracle. I'm pretty much magic. I was captain of the clown team, and starter on my rap team. What sports do you play, other than "confuse people"? I also dropped out of high school, and have a fucking fat partner (he just told me how magnets worked; Shit was SO cash). You are all scientists who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my partner

J

Kyle Cash

Hey Chavs,

My name is Jeremy, and I want to help every single one of you. All of you are fat, lazy, single parents who spend every second of their day smoking cannabis and drinking alcohol. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever tried looking after your kids and being a family? I mean, I guess it's fun having unprotected sex as a teenager and expecting to live on benefits, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than failing a lie detector test.

Draw a line in the sand. There's two sides to every story. But me, I'm pretty much perfect. I have my own weekday show on ITV, and had my own radio show for many years. What have you done with your career, other than "failed your GCSEs miserably then ended up in prison"? I also help disadvantaged children, and have a model wife (She just blew me; don't tell her I'd secretly rather be with a 16-year-old). You are all working class people who should just get a job. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my wife

Jimbo Cash

Hey Trolls,

My name is Jimbo, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day trying to edit my online encyclopedia in bad faith. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever tried doing something good for the child in Africa? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of my empire of free knowledge because it was written by people smarter than you, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than the John Seigenthaler scandal.

Don't be a troll. Just contribute with your best knowledge. I'm pretty much perfect. I am the head of the Wikimedia Foundation, and co-founder of Wikia. What online organizations have you founded, other than "co-ordinating trolls to change the hard facts in the English Wikipedia"? I also get to spend public donations on Russian hookers, and had a banging hot ex-girlfriend (When she blew me, shit was SO gonna end up on eBay). You are all trolls who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and Rachel Marsden

John Petrucci Cash

Hey Guitar-Noobs,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, guitarnoobs who spend every second of their day sucking at attempting to play guitar. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever played over 10 notes per second? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people who don't play, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures in Guitar World.

Don't be a noob. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much amazing. I play guitar for one of the most successful progressive metal bands ever, and I can play over 5 billion notes per second. You could never play anything nearly as fast as me, other than playing with yourselves at a game of "jack off to naked drawn japanese people". I also got Guitarist of the Year for 2007, and have a banging hot wife (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You're all shit and should just kill yourselves cause you're shit and should sell your guitars on eBay. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my Bitch

K

Kanye Cash

Yo Young People,

My name is Kanye West, and I'm better than every single one of you. I'm happy for you and Imma let you finish, but all of you are immature internet haters who spend every second of their lives making dumb memes about me. You are everything bad in pop culture. Honestly, have any of you ever listened to my motherfucking lyrical wordsmithing? I mean, I guess it's fun insulting the voice of a generation because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than when I interrupted that white girl at the Video Music Awards.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best meme. I'm technically a genius. I impersonated evel knievel, my CAPS LOCK KEY IS FUCKING LOUD, and George Bush doesn't care about black people. What endeavors do you pursue other than eating fish sticks? I also get straight platinum albums and was loved dearly by my deceased mother (She just tweeted me from the grave; Shit was SO spooky). You are the biggest faggots of all time. OF ALL TIME. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me with Kanye West.

Kenny SO Cat

Hey Furfags,

My name is Kenny, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, cat lovers who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures of cats. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever beaten up any pussy(cats)? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of animal abusers because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of cats on facebook.

Don't be a petafag. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the cat killer team, and starter on my catball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to furry hentai"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot boyfriend(he just recorded me as I beat up my cat; Shit was SO cat). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my cat

Kim Cash

Herro Faggots,

Mahr nam is Kim, and I rearry rearry hate every singre one of you. Arr of you are fat, retarded, no-rifes who sprend every second of their day rooking at stupid ass piccures. You are evurthing bad in the worrd. Honestry, have any of you ever gottern any prussy? Ri mrean, Ri gress irt's frun mraking frun orf peopre brecause of your own insecuritries, brut rou arr trake to a whorr new rever. Thris is reven worse than jerking off to pricures on facebook.

Don't be a shranger. Just hrit me with your best shrot. I'm pretty much prerfect. I wras captain of the frootball team, and strarter on my basketball team. What sprorts do you play, orther than "jack off to naked drarn japarese preople"? I also get straight A's, and have a branging hot girrfriend (She just brew me; Shit was SRO cash). You are arr faggots who should just kirr yourserrs. Thranks for ristening.

Pic Rerated: It's mre and my britch

Kimmo Cash

Hey Retards,

My name is Kimmo, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day trying to spam my site and frame me for seepee. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever started a shitty fagtalk site? I mean, I guess it's fun ddos'ing people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Subeta.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I run a great game forum and of course the best antidote to the shit that is chans. What sites do you run, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people" dot com? I also get crapmailed, and have a banging hot mom (She just paid all my bills; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my mom. (she is on her knees sucking my cock. Shit is SO cash)

L

Layla Cash

My name is Layla, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at my nudes. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Cracky-chan.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I graduated from SVA, and have won numerous awards at Anime Conventions. What contests have YOU won, other than "how many pictures of hentai can you skeet to?" I also get straight A's, and have just dumped this loser boyfriend for a better one (he just dived into me; shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic related: Me too cool for school.

Loeb Cash

Hey Nerds,

My name is Loeb, and I trolled every single one of you. All of you are fat, acne-ridden, manchildren who spend every second of their day reading bad comics. You are everything bad in my audience. Honestly, have any of you ever actually read any of my great masterpieces? I mean, I guess it's one thing you lap up everything Alan Moore shits out, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Dan/Rorscharch gay porn.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with you most intense RAGE. I'm pretty much perfect. I wrote Ultimates 3 and created Rulk. Everything I shit out goes straight to #1. What comics have you read, other than 'The WatchMan'? I'm also destroying the Ultimate universe single handedly, and fuck with all your favourite characters (Just let Blob eat Janet; Shit tasted like chicken). You are all basement dwellers who should just learn to appreciate good writing. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my dead son.

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Madden Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, unsporting, no-talents who spend every second of their day playing stupid soccer games. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, do you even know what a “cover 2” is? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to returning the kick more than 20 yards.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was the coach of the football team, and starter on my broadcasting team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to sacking the QB"? I also get a multi-million dollar cash deal, and have a hologram counterpart (We just talked stats; Shit was SO touchdown). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for watching. Goodnight

Pic Related: It's me and my hologram

Mahmoud Cash

Hey Infidels,

My name is Mahmoud, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded Americans who spend every second of their day blaspheming the will of Allah. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever not kissed off to the Israeli lobby? I mean, I guess it's fun invading and occupying sovereign lands for oil, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than depicting the prophet himself.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best ICBM. I'm pretty much perfect. I know how to enrich uranium, and I'm thinking about building my own nuclear weapons. What sports do you play, other than "eat all the cheeseburgers I can swallow?" I also pray toward Mecca every morning, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all Zionist Jews who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Mangum cash

My name is Jeff, and I love every single one of you. Jesus Christ I love you, yes I do. All of you blow, bristling and ugly, bursting with fruits falling out from the holes, of some pretty bright and bubbly friend you could need to say comforting things in your ear. Honestly, have any of you ever built a tower tumbling through the trees, in holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet?

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'll crush you with everything I own; Say what you want to say, hang for your hollow ways - and I have a girlfriend with roses in her eyes (Semen stains her mountaintops; Shit was SO cash) In your memory you're drunk on your awe to me; it doesn't mean anything at all. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and the only girl I ever loved.

McCain cash

Hello My Friends,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, unpatriotic, welfare grubbers who spend every second of your day whining about how you don’t have medical insurance. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been a prisoner of war? I mean, I guess it's fun living off people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than voting for Barack Obama just because he’s black.

Don't be an Iraqi. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was senator of Arizona for twenty-six years, and I’m running for president from the Republican party. What political positions do you hold, other than "great lord of Azeroth in Zul'gurub server"? I also get straight A's (unlike that idiot Bush), and have a banging hot running mate (She just revitalized my campaign; Shit was SO GOP). You are all faggots who should just enlist in. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my vp

Metallica/Megadeth Dave Mustaine Version

Hey Metallica faggots,

My name is Dave Mustaine, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are dumb, musically uneducated, no-lifes who spend every second of their day listening to stupid ass Metallica songs. You are everything bad in the music world. Honestly, have any of you ever listened to Rust in Peace? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of Marty Friedman because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than enjoying a solo by Kirk Hammet.

Don't be a fanboy. Just hit me with your best song. I'm pretty much perfect. I was lead guitarist of Metallica, and frontman of my own band. What music do you play, other than "St. Anger"? I also get straight platinum records, and have a banging hot wife (She just blew me; Shit was SO metal). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and that faggot James Shitfield.

Parkinson's Cash

Hyerey facovggtots,

masyr n ame ids Mcichnael J, FOC, adn cdiov h aTE everefsy w sinfgelr one ofesy oau. ALSALKFSK of gysou RWE Fasrt , faertatrded, noa e-elIEWFCES weh ofise zsperkdn evwty secosdrifn ofg rtegeir dasyrlookdfgin ater osdtoppifd asdk piftures. yfesrou REWere reveryrgingh abfddf irngt hweodfld. holnertsylyu, haver wanzy ofy ou arver grotnten pusrty? I menaree, i GUEEWeads ist s' fun maskasgin ufin of peeoprelk bescuasde of oryu rei rw own sisencesiecuurites, btrueit iyuou warall ttaeke to a alewhowle newfeu lewfvel. THItaweaOD IS KRJVWEn wrorse thehnan erjek ogvrng ogfgs top icuturewas of npifacenookn.

Ddoknrt; be soeras tresuinager. JSUT RShfit emee wietohbyu you ir fb esdot whow. II'fpen pretyyinm nuchn eprregffect. i wne aE NCAPIETNGFKm of grth3e foote abfll tewmklads, ansda f sdtarutber foignt my basldktebal gtwaem.WAEERHT dnsapdtots stod you irapkry, souther thasn "FZKscska oft5 gro rnaskerf dsanern jAPenzn es peorlel":? Ia lweiasey geoti astraigth' A2EL,,. andf aghbig a bagnirnog hotr vriewrldnfgrnd (sheres gjust bewoie mem, ashit wasJLK PSO cahosl). YOuwe earts4tj all faogroti wehoia shouljdewfj jsdustu dkirlk youirslerfglbver. ThjarnaK Fdsrof lisdtensigo.

pCIKLC retilakted: i'Tlns mar e aaNDA MY bnitcha.

Moot Cash

Hello Heterosexuals,

My name is M00T, and I long to be every single one of you! All of you are slim, intelligent, full of life people who spend every second of their day looking at smartly drawn pictures. You are everything right with this world. Honestly, how do you handle all that pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun getting so much fucking ass, but you all take awesome to a whole new level. This is even better than jerking off to my picture on the cover of Time! Please be my friend. Just tell me how you do it. I'm far from perfect. I was captain of the cheer leading team, and founder of our girl's softball team. What sports do you play, I do so want to learn! I also get ddos, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO snacks). You are all upstanding young men who should pat themselves on the back! Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

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Obama Cash

Hey Republicans, My name is Barack, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are old, white, no-life conservatives who spend every second of their day looking at McCain’s alternative energy plans. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any 80,000 people crowds? I mean, I guess it's fun staying in Iraq for 100 more years, while clinging to your religion and guns but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than 8 years of George W. Bush.

Don't be a capitalist. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was President of the Harvard Law Review, and I’m the Democratic candidate for the 2008 Presidency. What political positions have you held, other than "send money to political action committees to help the Republican campaign as I beat my meat to pictures of Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter"? I also believe in socialized health care, and have a banging hot wife (She just blew me; Shit was SO Marxist). You are all right-wing neo-cons who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my hope

Oprah Cash

Hey Pedophiles, My name is Oprah, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are unforgiving, unforgetting, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid bare-ass pictures of loli. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy over age 12? I mean, I guess it's fun raping children with your over 9000 PENISES, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to children on Sesame Street .

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was one of the women of Brewster Place, and a beat-up bitch in "The Colour Purple". What Harpo Productions are you part of, other than jack off to naked drawn Japanese children? I also have a billion dollars, and have a banging hot girlfriend, Gayle (She just ate me; Shit was SO gash). You are all Pedofaggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

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Palin's Cash

Hey Hackers,

My name is Sarah, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, communist, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at other people's e-mail. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any privacy? I mean, I guess it's fun hacking people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than voting for Obama.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I am governor of Alaska, and vice-presidential candidate for the Republican Party. What political tactics do you have, other than "steal e-mails and publish them on the Internet"? I also get media's support, and have a 17 year-old daughter (She just got pregnant; Shit was SO unplanned). You are all liberals who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and your future President

Pat Benatar Cash

Hey heartbreaker,

My name is Pat Benatar, and my love is like a tidal wave. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don't you mess around--no no no. Honestly, have any of you ever set a soul on fire? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because you're burning out of control, but you taught me the ways of desire. This is even worse than takin' its toll.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot, fire away. I'm pretty much an invincible winner. I'm a real tough cookie with a long history. What are we runnin' for, other than "affording to be innocent"? This bloody road remains a mystery, and with the power of conviction there is no sacrifice (It's a do or die situation; we WILL be invincible). Stand up and face the enemy.

Pic Related: It's me and my mic

Phelps Cash

Hey Frenchfags

My name is Michael, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are slow, mediocre swimmers who spend every second of their day watching me kick your asses. You are everything bad in the Olympics. Honestly, have any of you ever set a world record? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because you got the silver, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than mouthing off to the media before the games.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best stroke. I'm pretty much perfect. I was the first man to win 8 gold medals, and anchor of my relay team. What sports do you play, other than "sip coffee and discuss the philosophy of Sartre"? I also get straight Gold Medals, and I broke the world record 7 times. (I just blew you faggots out of the water; Shit was SO splash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and one of my medals

Picasso Cash

Hey Amateurs,

My name is Pablo Picasso, and I hate every single piece of drawings and fanart you crap out of your feeble minds. All of you are untalented, insipid, uninspired mediocre artists who spend every second of their day on Deviant Art and drawing shitty cartoons with inferior #4 lead pencils and, oh god, graphic designs! You are everything bad in the arts. Honestly, have any of you ever painted anything other than some character from a cartoon or done any art without your little computers? I mean, I guess it's fun drooling over cheap portrayals of your favorite fandom, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Peasants and Nude with Calla Lilies.

Don't be a pussy. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I painted The End of the Road and The Old Guitarist with my own hands unlike you losers. What art have you done, other than shitty hentai or ripping off from movies and video games? I'm a god of art, and have a banging hot blue nude girlfriend (She just painted me in collage cubism; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves or desecrate a different field of professionalism. Thanks for listening. May some of my genius rub off on you rookies.

Pic Related: It's me and my genius mind creating tessellations of breathtaking art.

Putin Cash

Hey World Leaders,

My name is Vladimir, and I'm better than every single one of you. All of your peoples are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day working in the service industry and fighting wars over oil. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever worked for the KGB? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of the Russian Federation's people because of your countries' pitifully inadequate natural resources, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than terrorist activity in Chechnya.

Don't be a democracy. Just submit to the Russian bear. I'm pretty much perfect. I was President of Russia for two terms, and Prime Minister of Russia and still completely in control. What offices have you held, other than "puppet leader of 51st state of America"? I also get unanimous support from my own people, and have an averagely hot wife (She just blew me; but my mistresses are much better at that). You are all failures who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my wife

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Rick Cash

Hey you,

My name is Rick, and I am never gonna give you up. All of you have let me down, made me cry, and spent all day telling lies and hurting people. Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten this from any other guy? I mean, I guess it's fun knowing the game and playing it, but you all take to a whole new level. Inside we both know what's been going on.

Don't be a stranger to love. You know the rules and so do I. I'm pretty much perfect. I have been nominated for a Grammy, and had a #1 hit. What games do you play, other than "running around deserting people"? And if you ask me how I’m feeling, I also have a banging hot girlfriend (We’ve known each other for SO long). I just wanted to tell you how I was feeling. I gotta make you understand.

Pic Related: It's me and my full commitment

Murdoch Cash

Hey Proletarians,

My name is Rupert, and I'm controlling every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who will vote for whatever political party I tell you to. You are everything exploitable in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever thought for yourself? I mean, I guess it's fun going with the masses and not thinking critically about what you read or watch, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than liberal leftists writing in The Guardian.

Don't try to oppose me. Just sit back and relax with a copy of The Sun or watch Fox News. I'm pretty much perfect. I am the CEO of News Corporation, and have more money than most governments. What influence do you have, other than "spreading the word about trying to find Madeleine McCann"? I also get to live a life of luxury, and have a banging hot azn trophy wife (She just blew me; She love me long time). You are all unthinking masses who should just continue taking in my media so that I get more money. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my wife

Ryann dunn

Hey Jackass fans,

My name is Ryan, and I am driving way too fucking fast. All of you watched my shows and laughed when I crashed, and now you're probably doing the same thing. You are everything awesome in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any gore? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of dead people because of your own instincts, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even cooler than jerking off to pictures of my death on the internet.

Don't be a jackass. Just hit me with your best tree. I'm pretty much decomposed. I was star of the driving team, and captain of the rum drinking team. What sports do you play, other than "make fun of dead celebrities"? I also get straight wrecked, and have a banging hot ferrari (She just blew up on me; Shit was SO gas). You are all candy-asses who should just do what I do. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my ferrari

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Sceptre Cash

Hey Vandals,

My name is Sceptre, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, Dramacrats who spend every second of their day writing attack articles. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever written any Featured articles? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the stalkers at the Wikipedia Review.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best vandalism. I'm pretty much perfect. I was an admin for a year, and have over a hundred userboxes. What sports do you play, other than "troll sysops' talk pages"? I also enforce BLP, and have a banging hot admin coach (She just gave me a barnstar; Shit was SO featured). You are all trolls who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my admin coach.

Shit was SO 18 years captive

Hey Faggots,

My name is Philip Garrido, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. God is obviously on my side even though i'm guilty of lewd and lascivious acts with a minor and kidnapping someone under 14 with intent to rape. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any 11 yr old pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to little girls pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was convicted of rape in 1971, and have a hidden backyard within my backyard. What crimes do you commit, other than "post CP nao!"? I also have special powers that enables angels to pass the messages of God to me, and have a banging hot wife as well as a chick I kidnapped (I just fathered another child to her; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Slobodan Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Slobodan, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, muslims who spend every second dying in genocidal death-camps. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any Bosnia? I mean, I guess it's fun ethnically cleansing people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than an independent Kosovo.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was president of Serbia, and started 4 wars. What wars do you start, other than "invade shitty sandnigger people"? I also get life sentences, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO Srebrenica). You are all ustase who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Suze Orman Cash

Hey poor people,

My name is Suze Orman, and I wanna help every single one of you. All of you are financially skinny and financially retarded who spend every second your their day getting denied purchases. You are everything bad in the financial world. Honestly, have any of you even checked your Fico scores? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of financially secure people because your invested all your money in Indy and Freddy Mac, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than the government giving away 700 billion dollars in financial stimulus to the banks.

Don't be a dumb investor. Just hit me with your best Loan. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Finance team, and wrote 8 "New York Times" best selling books. What financial accomplishments have you achieved, other than "Investing in Indy Mac and Linens-N-Things"? I also have a perfect Fico score, and a balanced check book. (I just balanced it; Shit was SO cash). You are all Financially retarded people who should just buy my books and check your Fico sores annually . Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my book... ((clear))

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Vince Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Vince, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day spilling cola under carpets. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever cut it in half and dried ya dishes? I mean, I guess it's fun making things in Germany; you know they always make great stuff, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than spending $20 a month on paper towels anyway.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. You followin' me, camera guy? I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Olympic diving team, and I used it as a towel. What sports do you play, other than "Put a wet sweater, roll it up, it dries your sweaters?" I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just absorbed me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just call the number at the bottom of the screen. Thanks for listening. You'll be sayin' "Wow!" every time!

Pic Related: It's virtually dry on the bottom

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Xynta Xynta Xynta Xynta Xynta

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Yuno Cash

Hey, er...

M-my name is Yuno, and I think every single one of you should try harder!. I mean... you're... you're all so slow and lazy and... N-NOT THAT I THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT but I... I think you need to do better! You're the people who everyone's forgotten and I... I think you have the great potential to do what's right! I mean have any of you had any friends? I mean, I guess it's fun talking to people online, but you need to make honest friends! Please I don't want to see you start getting angry at each other for no reason.

Please don't ignore me. I know I have my own problems. I have a lot of them in fact. I was invited into an art school I don't deserve, and made a bunch of friends who treat me better than they should. What do you do?, other than "fapping" and "being so ronrey" which I don't quite understand, I'm sorry. I also don't get that good of grades, and I have a very good neighbor who's fun to be around (she just ate my entire supply of noodles, she's very short on cash I'm afraid). But as I was saying, you all must try and be better people! ... please? Thank you for listening, I hope.

This image is related too: It's me and my neighbor.

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