User:Halcy/Tartlet

A site is nothing without its users; deviantART is no different. Deviants, better known as tartlets are the very essence of deviantART. The words best used to describe deviantART’s userbase are divisions of faggotry. No matter which clique they fit into they will simply be worthless garbage as deviantART is merely an internet dumping ground. However, the severity of stupidity varies. If you, for some reason, decide to join deviantART, you should be cautious about the users you will interact with.

Types of Tartlets (Deviants)

The most well known of all Tartlets, Snapesnogger.

Tartlets (also known as Deviants) can choose what kind of Deviant they want to pretend to be by choosing from a drop-down menu. They are listed here in order of increasing offensiveness.

Regardless of type, however, all tartlet usernames must have references to wolves, the moon, Sonic the Hedgehog, be a character from any video game, or end with -chan.

The Artist (Artifex Faber)

Constantly banhammered for displaying none of the above characteristics and wanting a place to share their art, the Artifex Faber population has experienced a sharp decline, becoming an endangered species relegated to a life of struggling to feed and clothe themselves and their 17 year-old, 8-month-pregnant girlfriend. Many have fled deviantART to more quality-oriented art sites like Storm Artists. However, it is still believed this form of Internet artist will become extinct by next year. Van Gogh, Da Vinci, and Michaelangelo are spinning in their graves because of this.

The Addict (Sucis Chumpicus)

Tartlets who spend all day on deviantART in the complaints forum or the help with life forum complaining about how much everything on deviantART sucks.

The Attention Troll (Gobblus Atticus)

Those who make dA slightly more interesting, providing comments of both controversial and plain annoying natures to provoke responses from those who are willing to post multitudes of journals (i.e furries and any other member of the 'whores' family, such as Favewhores, dAmnwhores, etc.). This specific type of troll originates in the forums, sometimes from other sites, and they most commonly evolve out of sheer boredom. A common characteristic is to stalk admins who then reject them; leaving the troll in a state of site-hatred, often fleeing to ED and making pages concerning the admins.

The Favewhore (Amorae Ubiquitus)

A Deviant who goes around adding every single submission of another's gallery into their favorites gallery, and everything that goes into their message inboxes. Amorae Ubiquitus usually has little or no deviations, or fucking huge galleries full of crap made in MSPaint, or stolen art.

Typical comment by these douchebags: "OMG LIEK KAWAIII NEKO DESUDESUDUES!!111"

The Wallpaperist (Muro Faber)

Deviants who believe that running a random script through a 3D-gen program and adding text makes them "interesting". The most common specimens of Muro Faber are 13-year-old boys, who just don't know what the fuck "interesting" is, or 20-year-old boys who still think it makes them "interesting".

The Litigious Crumpet (Imma Gonna Sue-a Ya Assa Offa)

Artist whom will go batshit insane if any of her pwecious images have been severely altered (i.e. turned into an icon for a forums board or even passed around period, because whats even worse than having your images cut-up by MSPaint?) and threatens to sue people utilizing the oft-abused weapon (and often yiffed by Furries) called the Digital Millennium Copyright Act" (DMCA). D

The 20+ Retard (Sophmorus Obsoletus)

boh3m3 deviantART.

A Deviant who claims to be over 20 years old but draws and types like a 3-year-old. If you give the least bit of criticism, they will block you, flag the comment as spam, or hide the comment. The only people that like these types of artists are other such crappy artists or ones that have no art in their gallery and have no idea what art is.

Critique? You die

Let the van hit you on the way out

The Flash Maker (Fulgore Faber)

13-year-old boys who make boring looped Flash Animations of random subjects that consist of five frames and run for ten seconds. Otherwise, they make countless dating game simulations featuring stick figures or tracings from Dragonball Z so that they can fap to them. These tartlets usually belong on YTMND or Newgrounds but some migrate to deviantART for additional attention-whoring.

The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist (Copaepastus Unoriginus)

People who make and submit absolutely nothing but pictures that portray their main fetish(es). They're much worse than your typical tartlet, especially if they consistently rub said fetish(es) into other people's faces.

dAmnwhores (Audarae Filia)

13-to-16-year-old girls who frequent deviantART's chatrooms. Unlike the forums, the CHAT is teh most denjerus place in deviantART. dAmn (deviantART Messaging Network) is inhabited by camwhores, pedophiles, azns, white men, crackwhores, stoners, filipinos, and George W. Bush.

The Camwhore (Vidarae Filia)

16 year old girls who've evacuated from MySpace shutdowns and timeouts in favor of the deviantART shutdowns and timeouts. They herald their existence by flooding the front pages with crappy webcam shots of their ass and graduate to posting thinly-veiled shots of their vagina under the pretense of 'Artistic Nudity'. Naturally, they get almost as many Daily Deviations as The Pornographer.

The Hybrid (Portmanteau)

A fairly common but equally pretentious breed of Tartlet who is an incestuous inbred combination of significant traits deriving from all, or a select few of the other deranged types of 'Deviant'. They herald delusions that only their twisted ideals hold value, and if said view is confronted, they attempt to suck the fan/fapping sympathy of DeviantART's community teet through worthless Journal venting whenever an emotional surge occurs in their otherwise pathetic lives. The Hybrid in action: Member; A whiny little bitch/The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist.

The Pornographer (Penis Puer)

These are photographers who are convinced keeping nudies in their gallery that "AWESOME, HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS!?" will get a Daily Deviation every week as they, meanwhile, vigorously defend their right to post their boobs, their sister's boobs, their dog's boobs, your mom's boobs, Janet Jackson's uni boob, or whomever's boobs until kingdom come. It should here be noted the admins agree with this notion: pictures of boobs and vaginae are just intensely artistic (IMPORTANT: Admins also agree that male nudity similar in nature is not covered under this, due of course to blatant gayness). Emo boys also fit into this group because they believe that taking a sepia-toned picture of their ugly face and greasy hair and blasting it with the dodge tool is "hot" or "artistic." Then they upload their abominations to the nudity section, much to the pleasure of Ville Valo fangirls. Swedish dickheads like Yoshaki and Limpurtikles seems to enjoy watching 16 year old girls getting tied up.

The Drive-By Propagandist (Shitbaticus Insanicus)

DeviantART polls always yield support and understanding.

These cunning deviantARTlets spew their unwelcome propaganda on their galleries and journals, and attempt to silence anyone who dares question their backwards logic.

The Sonic Recolourist (Velocitas Colorare)

These so-called 'artists' take screenshots from Sonic the Hedgehog games and shit all over them to form pink Sonics, yellow Sonics, blue Tailses and lime green Shadows. (See Also: the cross-over effects of the emo movement evidenced by Mario's fabled brother "Luigi" shifting from his classic green composure to the less Nintendoesque "Pink vs. Black" so favored by said fucktards - user LironDe /Removed/) They are easily enraged by statements that contradict the "incredible originality and brilliance" of their artwork and are quick to accuse others of "stealing" their "Green Sonic" fan-character, despite the fact that Sonic artists are only aware of 8 colours (black, white, red, green, blue, pink, yellow, and cyan.)

The Fandom Retard (Maria Suezae)

Branca, self-proclaimed wife of Stuart Tusspot, from Gorillaz.

These people only go around drawing animu, making flashy animu "art" of characters fucking their mother's sister's brother, creating sophisticated, stylistic portraits of males from Shojo such as Fruits Basket and joining crappy clubs but insist they're not furries or retarded. For most, this is a temporary larval stage lasting until the age of 16 and metamorphose into MySpace whores, furries or pedophiles. They can usually be found plagiarizing, defending and kissing the ass of people who fit in The Popular Ass category, or, rarely, like Zeriara, becoming jealous of them and drawing kill art of their characters.

Example: *Shizuce-Bluefire

Typical fanart request.

The Fatass(AKA 'Fat/Inflation Artist') (Fattius Asinus)

These so called 'Fat-Admirers create inflated or grossly-overweight depictions of pre-existing or original characters with MSPaint's curve tool, or are manually drawn in pencil. They will ruthlessly defend their "art," calling their personal army of friends for support at the first sight of a negative comment. Unfortunately, Fatasses continually subject innocent people to Eyerape with their awful artwork, and must be stopped. These fuckheads really need to draw something else for a change.

The Furry or "Anthro Artist" (Yifficus totalis)

These usually cause the most drama by whining about how much everyone hates their fursonas and getting their art stolen by ten year olds because only THEY own the copyright to lemurs/huskies/redpandas/ad infinitum, so they delete all their pictures only to make a new deviantART account soon after.

The Flaggot (Banius Pedocunteus)

The term flaggot, unknown outside of UrBanned Dictionary before the advent of TGcomix and his brand of self-righteous matyrdom, is a term used to describe bastards who have the gall to report Saints who have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Overlooking a pedobitch who failed the psychological test for a sex change operation regularly using a portmanteau of "faggot," what is a flaggot? Well, to trannies who march in a one-person trap-parade 24/7 and cry oppression like a bicurious teenage girl, a flaggot is anyone who reports your lolicon lifts. This incestuous lovechild germinates into an organized effort by a cabal of homophobes on a site which regularly features GBLT to get the admins, many of them passing as homosexuals, to ban someone who is as wanted as a boner at a Purity Ball.

For less schitzophrenic generalizations about this particular breed of DAer, see all of the preceding and successive categories.

Typical comment: Comment marked as spam.

The Cosplayer (Imbicilae in Costumus)

These tartlets are actually stupid enough to get a professional photographer to take pictures of their fantastic costumes their comatose grandmother made them. The average age of the cosplayer is 24. Not surprisingly, some cosplayers give up their heterosexuality to fit in with their chosen character, and, knowing many tartlets, will give up theirs to be like their idols. Too bad they don't have a professional photog.

Unless you're a famous cosplayer of EPIC WIN, you can attract photographers pornographers armed with HUEG cameras to shoot you more than OJ Simpson can. A perfect example for this kind of cosplayer is Alodia or blackmage9 - a coswhore who is freakingly famous in her country and also some sort of a celebrity in the internet. Alodia is about to dominate the world with her "kawaii" (a.k.a. sexual charm) talent to seduce every stalking fucktard so they can buy her prints and bid a shitload of Jewgold for all of her used stuff.

A subset of this tartlet is the The Poseur (Passuer Imagica Thuivery) who is stupid enough to plagiarize a set of images from the same cosplayer (preferably famous or in professionally-made attire), or a combination of several different cosplayers' images, regardless of nationality, body type, facial features, or even gender. The best part is that people accept the dupe as genuine, leaving rave comments and expressing their appreciation of the imposter's "talents."

Typical cosplaying pokéfag

The Popular Ass (Popularium Asinus)

Illustrated example of how the Popular Ass views the rest of the internets

Deviants who have more than a million pageviews and as a result, have their heads stuck up their ass. They're usually this popular because their galleries are full of Kingdom Hearts, Sonic, Furry, Pokemon, Disney, Super Smash Bros., Anime, Narutard and hentai "fanart" and they regularly threaten to leave about thirty times per week.

Posting criticism on their page results in immediate attacks by their Personal Army of retarded fans, which shows that deviantART is a place full of Idiots and Fail.

The Emo Poet (Plagiralus Emotalis)

These are the people who are too stuck-up to bother with either Myspace or LiveJournal because they believe they are artistic. They can often be found redistributing copypasta from vampirefreaks, trying to seem hardcore. A recently discovered relative of this species is Monglus Canus, commonly know as the Dogmongler.

See: Poeticirony

The Emographer (Vidarae Filia Emotalis)

Typical ID picture of the Emographer.

Similar to the Emo Poet, these deviants deem themselves superior to their MySpace/LiveJournal counterparts, but does not differ a lot from their roots, as they enjoy posting pictures of them cutting themselves and then sucking up all of the pity that the internets has to offer.

The HXC Moshgrapher (Br00talis XXXila)

Moar 13-year-old boys who upload photographs of themselves and their HXC mosh pit crew fighting ghosts at local hardcore shows. Normally stolen from Destroy All Lines, These emo zubs will threaten with gangrape and epic flaming if their lens flare spin kick br00tal XXX mic steal pics are criticized. Note the sweat, blood (from razors) and semen on the lens.

ED Crew (Anonymus Lulzae)

The lurkers of deviantART who dig up all the glorious lulz and tell the truth about this place. Be they banned or spurned, these dedicated men and women pursue their intended targets with constant vigilante and unwavering dedication.

Bored and talentless members post photos of themselves.

Cheerleaders of Anonymous (Anonymus Lulzae Pussia)

Some users of deviantART, being namefags of sorts, fear teh banhammer, but will indirectly participate, or at least cheer, from the sidelines as frontline Anonymous kill the faggotry with fire. True Anons are encouraged to rape them until they stop being pussies and join in the fun. Some even act as if they knew anonymous all their lives.

Levels of Tartlets

lolly This demonstrates where the subscribers' money goes.

Nobody can escape the ads.

~Members

Also known as "normal" tartlets, they are ubiquitous, and can be found in even the deepest pits of deviantART. Members are mostly whiny little bitches, furries and fags that post everything about their lives in their journal on a daily basis. This group mostly consists of retards who assume that posting shit fan art every single day of their pathetic lives will make them famous. They also hope to be promoted to senior members or admins, but don't realise that even deviantART rejects retards as potential material.

*Subscribers

wait, how many of you live with your parents?

Although rare, this level contains the closest thing to real artists that deviantART has. These people are fucktarded enough to give deviantART money in return for additional features, and their payments form the bulk of deviantART's income. The adminz treat them as if they were their children, protecting them from anything that might harm them, but once they realize the truth and show signs of it, the moderators will drop the banhammer on them before they can spread the truth. Once banned Subscribed tartlets will beg, scream and cry for their money back, only to be told to STFU and GTFO.

=Beta Testers

Beta Testers are a sub-species of Subscribers and are also a source of deviantART's income, but instead of getting more goodies than the subscribers, they actually work for deviantART by testing their new features. The only reason anyone would choose to be a Beta Tester would be for the symbol.

`Senior Members

This is a typical Admin and Senior Member relationship.

Expect wonderful help from senior members such as IBinsanity.

Senior Members are either really old people who have been tartlets for at least 100 years or former administrators. Noone really likes seniors but they pretend to like them in order to become Seniors themselves. The rules are simple on how to become a Senior Member on deviantART, mostly because the admins were too fucking lame to come up with anything more original than ripping off Fight Club [1].
There are two types of Senior Members on deviantART:

• The Attention Whores who think they are PILLARS OF THE CUMMUNITY and must sexually involve themselves in everything and everyone. These members are easily noticeable by their appearance everywhere and their constant positive attitude towards everything. They would smile, even in the face of a black person who was about to rape them and steal their car.
• The Internet tough guys who like to run around and troll everything they can find. You'll often see them in the forums or chatrooms telling people to "fuck off" or "take the knot." But the moment one of their admin friends are attacked, they rush in head first. These Senior Members are the worst kind, since no matter what they do or whoever they butthurt, they will not be banned EVAR because they perform various sexual acts for the admins.

Halcy/Tartlet is part of a series on DeviantART Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.