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Ohio

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Actual Ohio Citizen.

Ohio is a shithole excuse of a state in the Jewnited States, in Middle America. It is known for its mass export of Drew Carey. Ohio is widely known for having four unique seasons -- almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction. Ohio is also famous for having one of the highest populations of white supremacists, hicks, and retards (Unlike ED, they SRSLY believe Obama's a Muslim), due to its close proximity to Indiana and West Virginia. A favorite attraction of Ohio is creating moon-crater-sized potholes that rival Pennsylvania's. Since it's so craptastic, no one bothers to fix them. It's known for having three of the shittiest cities in America (and that's saying something): Cleveland, Dayton, and Columbus. Only Detroit, New Orleans (the black parts), and Baltimore are worse. Other than Toledo (which isn't really so much "shitty" as it is unremarkable) all the other "cities" in Ohio are small towns filled with midwestern hicks that nobody cares about.

Note to Eurofags: Don't bother using Ohio as an example of why America sucks. Ohio is the butt of every joke ever in the USA. Everyone hates Ohio and Ohioans (yes, that's what you call them). But Detroit is way worse.

If you are born in Ohio, you will never leave Ohio for good. The only way to do so is to become president, become an astronaut, invent a mode of transportation, or host The Price Is Right.

We're not Detroit!


Ohio's main selling point: "We're not Detroit!"

Geography

Ohio is round on the sides and high in the middle. The streets are under constant construction and always littered with dead animals.

State Government


He didn't win the election.

Typical Ohio resident's activities

If you move to Ohio, be prepared to stay for a while.
Just your average Ohioan
Actual license plate in Ohio.
  • Sit on your ass
  • Watch football
  • Drink
  • Drink
  • Continue to drink
  • Attend the nation's largest Country Concert in Fort Loramie
  • Drink because you just wasted part of your life at a Country Concert in Fort Loramie
  • Go over to Fairfield Mall and have a really fun time with the teenagers there.
  • Kill 11 people and leave them in your house like the dumb nigger you are. Ohio is known for producing 8999 serial killers, most of whom leave Ohio. See Ohbutyouwillpet and Jeffrey Dahmer.
  • Own a small town
  • Get an STD
  • Drink because of STD
  • Watch football because you're a redneck
  • Start a shitty college band at Ohio State University
  • Get addicted to meth
  • Drink because of your addiction
  • Watch civilization degrade at a rapid pace
  • Drink because of said degrading
  • Claim that this is the year that OSU doesn't lose to an SEC team in the National Championship (Note: This will never happen)
  • Hate on Michigan and University of Michigan (good for easy trollans)
  • Start a methlab.
  • Arguing over tornado sirens.
  • Start a war over who owns Toledo (Wait, that's already been done)
  • Go to a Columbus Blue Jackets game
  • Drink because you know you can never leave
  • Hoard exotic large cats because of lax state laws, then set them loose on an unsuspecting populace and an hero for maximum lulz [1]

Public oral sex

WATCH AND DECIDE THE TRUTH FOR YOURSELF

   
“ 		 
she was being raped, and afterwards took pictures with her rapist and bystanders?
  		„
  		 

—beantown

   
“ 		 
I seen the unedited video and pictures, she was smiling the whole time
  		„
  		 

—Brett Gibson

   
“ 		 
i saw the video...not once did she protest, not once did she push him away, she actually put her hand on her head and thrust her pelvis up towards his face, enjoying it
  		„
  		 

—Del Manzueta

   
“ 		 
the video I saw online clearly shows the female taking he male by the back of the head and pushing his face into her crouch. A female can say what she wants after the fact but the video speaks for it self. I think she was probably drunk, enjoyed what was going on then got embarrassed when all H broke lose and decided to act the victim.
  		„
  		 

—John Wall

   
“ 		 
I saw the picture if she's being rape, she is sure was enjoying it.
  		„
  		 

—Rozita

   
“ 		 
The woman did not show any resistance nor did she ask for help in away and did not seem to be anything other than a willilng participant. People were present recording this and you're telling me she could not stretch a hand out or utter a word or show any sign that she was trying to get this guy off of her? If she was drunk to the point she was incoherent, she wouldn't have even been able to prop herself upright.
  		„
  		 

—Subliminal18

Apparently there's a viral video circulating around where a girl gets oral sex (cunnilingus) from a guy on the street. This happened a block away from a police station outside Athens Ohio University.

  • Tom Pyle: "The community at large views this as they watched and witnessed a sexual assault occurring, and did nothing but watch," said Chief Pyle. "But the flipside of that is that they may not have realized what they were witnessing."
    Tom Pyle: "The community at large views this as they watched and witnessed a sexual assault occurring, and did nothing but watch," said Chief Pyle. "But the flipside of that is that they may not have realized what they were witnessing."
  • Vance Blanc: a 19 year old student at the scene who uploaded pictures to his Twitter
    Vance Blanc: a 19 year old student at the scene who uploaded pictures to his Twitter
  • Rachel Cassidy: thought by Anon_OPs to be the girl in the photo, who later denied being the person
    Rachel Cassidy: thought by Anon_OPs to be the girl in the photo, who later denied being the person
  • Allie Erin: already made up her mind that it was a rape, in spite of not actually being there, because feminism. "All that needed to happen was ask 'hey are you all right, is this what you want to be happening'?" Ignoring witness testimony that she begged him to continue and posed for photos happily after. Thinks that "she wasn't okay with it" after-the-fact makes it retroactively rape.
    Allie Erin: already made up her mind that it was a rape, in spite of not actually being there, because feminism. "All that needed to happen was ask 'hey are you all right, is this what you want to be happening'?" Ignoring witness testimony that she begged him to continue and posed for photos happily after. Thinks that "she wasn't okay with it" after-the-fact makes it retroactively rape.

After feeling ashamed, she filed some false rape charges even though in pictures and witness testimony she was clearly conscious, smiling, pulling his head into her, and telling him not to stop.

Naturally the media blew this out of proportion and simply believed the woman at her word that it was a rape and called her a 'victim' and such even though the jury saw through the bullshit and threw it out:

Other news sources were somewhat neutral in their titles:

Population

A major Ohioan city is on this man's chest.

Ohio is home to a wide variety of interesting people, from the college students at Ohio State to the elderly at CGNU. At least 50% of OSU students are fags, while the other 50% are Asians. The population is often bitter, due to their inability to drive properly, their close proximity to Michigan, and their all-around vacant space. Suprisingly, some are Furfags, others are Nintendofags

It is a common misconception that Ohio allows lulz; but like Boston, Ohio hates lulz. Because they're all insecure about the fact they live in a crappy little state, if you ever try to fabricate, discuss, or terminate lulz you will be v& for attempting to have fun.

Some of Ohio's more famous residents:

Gallery of Ohio

  • The Cuyahoga River, one of Ohio's natural wonders. No, there isn't anything on the river that's burning, the river itself is on fire.
    The Cuyahoga River, one of Ohio's natural wonders. No, there isn't anything on the river that's burning, the river itself is on fire.
  • Just one of the dazzling works of art found in Ohio.
    Just one of the dazzling works of art found in Ohio.
  • God hates Ohio so much, he destroyed Touchdown Jeebus outside Dayton, formerly the only awesome thing in Ohio
    God hates Ohio so much, he destroyed Touchdown Jeebus outside Dayton, formerly the only awesome thing in Ohio
  • The football fantards state the obvious.
    The football fantards state the obvious.
  • Proof that fans of the Cleveland Browns are batshit: Insanity Wolf roots for them.
    Proof that fans of the Cleveland Browns are batshit: Insanity Wolf roots for them.
  • This is why America hates Ohio. Ohio even hates Ohio.
    This is why America hates Ohio. Ohio even hates Ohio.
  • You, Ohio style
    You, Ohio style
  • As long as you're in Ohio, why not scald a dog?
    As long as you're in Ohio, why not scald a dog?

See Also

The United States of Dramatica
States Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
Not a
state yet 		Australia | Canada | China | Cuba | District of Columbia | Guam | Iraq | Israel | Japan | Long Island | Latin America | Philippines | Puerto Rico | United Kingdom | Vietnam
Settlements Atlanta | Boston | Cleveland | Chicago | Detroit | Houston | Kansas City | Las Vegas | Los Angeles | Lubbock | Miami | Minneapolis | New Orleans | New York City | Philadelphia | Pittsburgh | San Diego | San Francisco | Seattle | Spokane | St. Louis | Washington, D.C. | Youngstown



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