User:Hitmonchan/CM Punk

Before becoming the drug-free Atheist Jesus, Felch Brooks was once known as CP Munk, a chipmunk that said no to nuts but yes to child porn.

CM Punk, the Chris Crocker of the world of wrestling

CM Punk - Powerword: Phillip "Felch" Jack (Daniels) Brooks, is an Americunt rassler native to the dirty streets of Shitcago. Born in a cumhole somewhere in Rosemont to an unmarried whore and a drunk dad, little Felch suffered an emo life that made him lose faith in God despite looking like Jebus in the near future. This was due to the neglect of his useless mother that kept ignoring his cries of pain in the next dorm while his dad, infuriated that he was out of his sweet nectar, went Goofy time on his own son by knocking him out and proceeded to indoctrinate him like a proper priest would to an altar boy.