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Ray Gordon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Gordon Roy Parker, who uses the fake name Ray Gordon

Gordon Roy Parker, who likes to pretend his name is Ray Gordon, is a 45 year old semi-well known Usenet kook and YouTube user that lived with his mother in West Philadelphia. He is known through hundreds of usernames online, and seems to have an issue sticking with one identity. Many of his older Twitter accounts are suspended due to hate speech against women.


On USENET

One of Gordon's first notable acts was when he harassed a woman named Tabitha Hassell into moving in order to get away from him. Gordon has also been known to try to solicit underage gymnasts to convince them to let him coach them. He also posts fanfic that revolves around himself torturing, raping and killing young gymnasts. alt.seduction.fast became his favorite group soon after he discovered it, and his life revolved around it ever since.

Right after the jews did wtc, Gordon quickly proclaimed that there was no significant loss of life in those towers. Gordon quickly took steps to remove the posts from the Google Groups archive, but the posts were saved thanks to several people reposting them all over the usenets.

On YouTube

In 2010, as part of his attempt to transform himself into the next Chris-Chan, Gordon got himself a state-of-the-art-in-1997 video camera and uploaded some videos to his YouTube account. Prior to this, however, he hired a woman named Princess Jodie to make several videos for him to post on his account that totaled less than one minute combined. The whereabouts of these videos at present are unknown, but many believe that Gordon's fapping to them while sobbing at his permavirgin status.

As of late, Gordon seems to limit his time on YouTube to posting comments where he bitches about women not fucking him, complains about commercials on YouTube, whines about various MRA positions, and various comments about his "stories", such as General Hospital.

On Yahoo Groups

Gordon first discovered the internet outside of usenet in 2002 when he created the Yahoo group The Seduction Library. The group has been abandoned since 2003.

In 2007, Gordon tried creating another Yahoo group called Project 5,000, with the stated goal of attaining 5,000 members so that he could collect $10 from each of them. The current membership count of 78 is slightly less than the stated goal.

On Twitter

Not content with being exposed as an incompetent, bumbling fool on Usenet, Youtube and Yahoo Groups, Gordon signed up for a Twitter account to demonstrate his ability to make a complete asshat out of himself in less than 140 characters. At least five of his socks (under the names toosmarttofail, HorseOfWallSt, BettorOffSingle, OriginalRayPUA, and Ray_Gordon) have been suspended, and his current (as of April 4th, 2015) account, ChicksDigChess has only been active for 6 days.

E-lawyer

Gordon fancies himself a lawyer, as evidenced by the multiple lawsuits he has filed (and lost) over the years. One of the most notable ones was where he tried to sue Google for $10,000,000,000 (THAT'S TEN FUCKING BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!). Shockingly, he didn't win his $10,000,000,000 jackpot.

Not to be discouraged, Gordon then filed suit against Microsoft and Yahoo for a mere $150,000.

Other victims^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hdefendants of Gordon include the University of Pennsylvania and several thousand people named John Doe. He constantly threatens people who mock him on social media with lawsuits.

On Encyclopedia Dramatica

On December 22nd, 2011, Gordon Roy Parker discovered that someone had written an article about him and posted it to Encyclopedia Dramatica. In a stroke of genius, Gordon came up with the brilliant idea of creating an Encyclopedia Dramatica account and deleting all the content within the article. One can only speculate as to how much Gordon cried when is brilliant plan failed.

On August 31st, 2012, having learned nothing from his previous attempt to take down ED, Gordon sent a DMCA takedown request to Google in an attempt to get this page taken off of their search page. The fact that you are currently reading this page should tell you how successful that attempt was.

Family

Gordon lived with his mother from the time he was born (~1966) until her death in 2007. Gordon was so upset by her death that he referred to it as a vacation on one of his blogs. At one point, someone tried to alert Gordon's mother to her son's activities, but Gordon somehow managed to interpret this as a death threat.

Gordon is also alleged to have a brother named Walter, however nobody has been able to verify this, beyond a few posts by someone claiming to be Walter in 2001 & 2002.

Ray's self-proclaimed careers

At various times in the past, Gordon has claimed to be:

  • Pro gymnastics coach - Claims to train several gymnasts online
  • Pro chess player and/or chess coach - Only a bit shy of becoming World Champion. Also claims to be Internationally ranked Note: the USCF has NO listing of him on their website. According to information we have, Ray's old rating exists, but his membership is not current.
  • Pro handicapper and oddsmaker - According to his web site
  • Pro finance market analyzer - According to his web site
  • Pro relationships adviser - Teaches men "how to get laid"
  • Pro hypnotist and hypnosis instructor - Harasses and bad mouths female hypnotists
  • Writer - Writes a book about seduction, horse racing and Dominique Moceanu
  • Best secretary in the USA - But got fired because he wasn't an "office whore"
  • Paralegal - Pennsylvania requires some sort of professional certification, but Ray doesn't know that.
  • Activist against child abuse and sexual harassment - Claims that gymnastics coaches are child abusers, yet still claims to be one (see above)
  • Professional psychic - And still doesn't have a clue about the Editorial Staff of RayFAQ
  • Civil Rights Activist - Claims that hiring discrimination has prevented him from being employed. Filed suit against UPenn. Hmmm...
  • Journalist - Not accredited by any news agency, though.
  • Software Company CEO & entrepreneur - Own company, of course
  • Successful business owner - Also known as broke, and filed bankruptcy in 1997.
  • Internet guru - He can't read headers on Usenet posts, but he's learning.
  • Sports historian - Hmm...
  • Body builder - And of course extremely good looking
  • Jesus Christ - Only in past life though.
  • Skilled Hypnotist - Claims to be able to "Gain TOTAL Sexual Control" over women

Other Links

Ray Gordon is part of a series on Usenet. [CollapseExpand]
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