Pyromania

Pyromania is more than just setting fires to cleanse the Earth of the foul and degenerate population that your Bible says has taken over the Earth and the voices in your head say that you need to be elected President so that you can release Nuclear Hell Fire upon the faithless.

Pyromania is when you can't stand to see fire fettered in its man-made Prisons of lighters, matches and gas lines leading into the big eyed, super cute Puppy rescue. Pyromania is when you feel a sexual release from starting a fire and watching the flames devour everything it touches because you were the one that freed it.

Pyromaniacs should not be confused with Arsonists. Arson is when you start a fire for Financial Gain where Pyromania, as we described, is about a psychological release from stressor that borders on Busting A Nut.

== Causes

How To Know If You Have It

For starters, if you're an E-Girl trying to diagnose yourself with Symptons you think you have so you can feign some semblance of a personality. You most likely have it, at least, only while you're crying for attention and money while posting videos on TicTok. Just remember, if you're a Girl, say that Your Father Molested you and that you Cut Yourself to throw those nasty internet psychologists a curve ball and make it look like you actually have it.

If you show up to the party with Vaseline and set a fire so you can play with your Little Pee-Pee while everything burns away and become depressed when The Fire Department comes and takes away your recently discoveredGirl Friend and find yourself getting angry because they are they are the enemy and refused to let her live. Yeah, we'd say yes, you're a Sick fuck.

If the fire is simply for yourself and you have no ulterior motives such as an insurance payout or political ones where you set fires to undermine the trust of the constitutes to prove that Crime has signifantly increased since a Black mayor has taken over so that your candidate can demand a recall, you know - the Batman motive, than you most likely aren't one. If you're setting fires for instant gratification, Jacking Off or schlicking genius, then there's a possibility that you are a Pyromaniac and you should bring some tinder, paper and lighter fluid so you can set a fire in the middle of the crazy house's lobby, ensuring that you'll be taken in and drug to levels of drooling and staring at the wall.

Causes

It does help that you're a Sick fuck with no friends, an absent father figure and a Over bearing mother. What the Fuck are we saying? We should save time and just say You.

It helps if you're Bullied at School and at home. Find yourself escaping into a fantasy world where others would describe you as a god because, no matter what, the outcomes always favor you.

It should be noted that the question, "Did your parents drop you on your head?" Will apply to you.

Girls laugh at you and flee when you approach them, even if you are over 21 and offer to buy them beer and cigarettes.

You starred in a porno between the ages of just born|to about 17.

Fun Things To Do With Fire

Smack your Bitch across the face and make her use it to cook you a steak.

Burn those Traci Lords video tapes your father gave you because they're Child Porn and need to be destroyed before you get Party V&ed by the FBI. You really don't want to know what they do to pedophiles in prison. It does include fire and your Asshole.

Burning all Bibles except for your own edited version because the other versions are just lies.

If you're an LA Black Man, wait for a white police officer to be acquitted of felony assault on a Crack smoking, black fugitive that has super human strength because he is Wet. Start a riot. Burn down YOUR part of the city, dislocating all the businneses by burning down their shops and stealing their merchandise. The final step is to proclaim that it is a White conspiracy when businesses don't want to reopen shops in the BLACK parts of town.

If you're a liberal fucktard, use it to ask for an ass beating from a Redneck because you decided to use it as a protest by burning the American flag.